River is walking. River doesn't know where she's walking to, but she's walking and she used to know but now she doesn't know and she doesn't know that she used to know. River is walking.
Clang clang clang clang go River's boots. Not a loud sound. A gentle sound, one of the sounds of Serenity. River likes the sounds of Serenity, even the ones that are loud. She likes the sounds no one else can hear, too. River hears a sound.
River walks and Jayne is there. Jayne is making the sound and River knows that only River and Jayne can hear the sound that Jayne is making, and Jayne thinks that only Jayne can hear the sound that Jayne is making. River looks at Jayne. She looks and looks and he doesn't look because Vera is there and he is making sure Vera works. River waits and looks. She knows how to make sure Vera works, too, and Jayne doesn't know that River knows this but River knows that he wouldn't be surprised. River knows that Jayne would be annoyed but not surprised.
Now Jayne looks at River, and he's annoyed. She's annoying him. She's bugging him, like a bug. A fly. River is a fly. "I'm a fly," she tells him sadly, and he looks at her some more.
"Uh?" says Jayne.
River looks at Jayne and then she looks at Vera. She sits down next to Jayne and gently takes Vera, and Jayne would stop anyone else but not River because she's a weird kid and he doesn't want to start her gorram screaming again and besides, Vera's all taken apart so the kid can't hurt herself. River knows what Jayne thinks about her. Jayne doesn't know that River knows. River looks at Vera, all in pieces on the bed. River looks at the piece of Vera she's holding and imagines all the other pieces fitting with this piece and working, and it's good. Things should work. Simon makes things work. He fixes them. Simon is a Tam and Tams fix things, and River is a Tam too so River should fix things. River picks up a piece of Vera and clicks it into place, and this fixes Vera a little bit. Jayne looks at River.
"Hey," he says, and he's still annoyed. River frowns. River is annoyed now, too. "Hey, kid, what d'you think you're doin' with that?"
Jayne doesn't try to take Vera away. River knows that he will, though, if she fixes Vera too much, so she puts Vera down on the bed and she looks at Jayne and Jayne looks at River. Jayne is annoyed. But only on top. Underneath, Jayne is broken, sad and broken and Jayne doesn't understand why. He knows why, but he doesn't understand. River understands. Jayne doesn't know that River understands. He wouldn't want River to understand when he doesn't understand, and that's something River doesn't understand.
Jayne is broken.
Tams fix things.
"I saw the Shepherd's hair," says River, imparting a dark secret. Jayne raises an eyebrow. River knows that Jayne knows what she's saying, but Jayne doesn't know why River is telling him. River doesn't know either. But she understands. "Too much hair," says River. "Too big."
Jayne laughs. River looks at Jayne. Jayne looks fixed but he isn't fixed. Not yet. Tams fix things. River keeps trying. She listens to the sound that Jayne is making that Jayne doesn't know River can hear. "You were a symbol," she says eventually.
"What?" he asks. River frowns at him. Jayne doesn't understand. He knows. But he doesn't understand.
"You were a symbol," River says again. "Like the Shepherd's bible. It's a symbol, too. He has faith in it."
Jayne leans back. "Girl," he says, "I ain't got the slightest gorram idea what you're talking about."
"You do," River tells him, firmly. "You know but you don't understand." Tams fix things. River frowns again. Jayne is hard to fix, but Tams fix things and River is a Tam so River can fix Jayne. She looks at Jayne. Jayne looks back. Jayne is frowning, too, but not in the way that River is frowning. River is frowning because fixing Jayne is hard. Jayne is frowning because he needs to be fixed. He doesn't understand.
River says, "The Shepherd has faith in it. His bible is a symbol, and he has faith in it, and you're a symbol, too. His symbol is wrong but he has faith in it. They had faith in you."
River looks at Jayne and Jayne looks at River and Jayne knows what River is saying. And he starts to understand.
The sound that Jayne is making isn't so loud anymore. River can still hear the sound that Jayne is making but Jayne isn't making it so loudly anymore so River smiles and stands up. Jayne looks at River and River looks at Jayne, and River is smiling but Jayne isn't smiling but River knows that Jayne will smile soon. Jayne doesn't know that River knows that Jayne will smile soon. River looks at Jayne and River is smiling, and River smiles at Jayne. "Tams fix things," says River.
Clang clang clang clang go River's boots.
River is walking.