(This is possibly not a final version, the end and few between bits were written a tad rushed because of the subject material. Critqioues readily welcomed...yeah...)

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We know Ginger... and Marcie with Brandy and Jade. Juniper…Eliza, Debbie…Darwin.

But whose this unknown among us all? On this raft, where does he steer…us…all?

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http://www.saunalahti.fi/frog1/wavs/someppl.wav

This road is eternal, 'course the only reason we'd even know were still on Highway 95 is because I can still see the yellow line in the middle, even under a foot of water. Man…look around, without that line we'd might as well fall down facefirst in this water. The map says Nevada, but it looks like Death Valley got a face-lift. Yeah, a Paris Hilton lift, reeeal good.

…..huh, the others keep asking where the others are, Juniper wanted to go back and look so vehemently that he finally told her that they, their parents and friends would have moved forward as well. The water's risen far too high behind us to go back, If she left we would never see her again and that he's already made too many sacrifices as it is.

He tells her the best bet to finding her loved ones is to walk forward, she looks uncertain then nods her head slowly, wearily joining the group again as we make down the road again…he says we make for an impression that now should be filled with water, it can hold us if we were to make a raft and bring us to a safe haven from the flood. We will need to make a raft though, he hopes there is wood nearby.

We find a surplus supply of wood timbers at the impression's edge via an abandoned log cabin decaying from lone years next to a crumbling cliff-façade. Most of the logs are rotten through from time and some falling rocks collapse in the roof. Darwin is injured pretty badly, but luckily the bandages were my extra shirt, so they were quite clean…hopefully the rising water won't cause infection from debris. It's up to two feet high now and Darwin's leg injury will slow us down constructing the raft.

We placed him on the cliff-façade to keep his wounds dry and Eliza has placed renewed vigor into the raft construction, adding much expertise to it's design from experience with her family, even Debbie is working at a desperate pace, handing out orders efficiently and ordered…their love is expected of course…no one wants to lose anymore…no one feels they can lose anymore…

He says Darwin died painlessly as the wind had doubled in strength, creating small crests of tan foam that numbed both him and Darwin till his life finally ebbed with the storm's going. He said he supposed this is the part where he says in retrospect he should have told Eliza of Darwin's fever and illness from the gangrene but in retrospect he knows for certain he could never have told her.

The water has risen at an increasing rate and it's hard at times to keep one's head above the water. Without Eliza's help, they never would have completed the raft in time. He said he wasn't one of those people who did terrible things because he thought he'd be vindicated by the end results. He knew what he did was morally wrong and terrible and expected no vindication. He didn't expect them to like him, but to survive, to succeed in the chance they'd been given to survive.

Tears fell from his cheeks as he said this, yet he fought to keep his voice firm to say that he indeed was sorry and expected no forgiveness, but that with or without will to live at the moment, it was still up to him to show them the safe place, because he promised that he would …kneeling to Eliza, sobbing both, he repeated the word sorry in a whisper and received a hard slap against his face, but you could see the shock on her face preventing her from saying anything. Turning around, he presented Darwin's blue tank-top to her, taking it with shaking hands, he said that the time was now.

The raft floated…very well, what he said about Eliza's participation was true…we could never have made it in time or as well without her…the soulless bastard. Already the high rock is covered, seeable only at sporadic low points of the waves that grow rougher behind us. The road we took, even if it were able to be seen with the water is far behind the wall of canyon rock that stretches behind us from where we constructed the raft. Yeah, he was right, we needed Eliza and he truly is a bastard.

He has something to say…he still stands with his hands on the makeshift wheel, facing away from all of us toward the river we sail, but he's just said that, that is how I know. No one has moved much since boarding and all have their groups where applicable, Jade stayed alone for the most part, dangling her legs at the boat's back despite the strong currents. There were thoughts, surely, that she might have been contemplating suicide, but Brandy joined her some time ago and together took the plunge amid yells of surprise and fear, of flying water and senseless cold.

Gone before it registered in our minds, no one saw them break the surface once and now all is hush since then except the background noise of crying. So his voice, loud with hesitant tones hours afterward was a angry abrupt cymbal-clash to draw attention. He said that we were almost there, that it was no more than two miles or less…here he stopped, yet everyone could feel he wasn't done and secretly relieved to have anything else as a momentarily distraction, their ears stayed piqued for what he said next.

His voice raspier, it was sped up as he continued, saying that he also hadn't been completely honest with them all, not a lie…just not the whole truth, so worse…he…he-he could have saved more of your families.

Silence following, he went on saying how he couldn't, that he had saved who he had because of admiration and logic, if he had taken everyone he had been in position to, we would have needed to look after more people, construct a bigger raft, would've moved slower, we barely made it as it was, none would be alive if he had, he said quicker and quicker, desperate it seemed to get out a welling inside his broken husk.

On and on he continued, he had done what was necessary to insure your survival becasue of a love he felt for all of them, a-a-a-desire to make sure they survived when he found himself in the right and right time. He…he-he…he stopped and turned back towards the water saying he wanted to make sure what he believed in survived, quickly and bluntly seeing that he would have to destroy what he wanted to save for it to be saved…and that was it…and that he was sorry.

Shock was evident and it was when we saw Ginger standing that we took notice of the fresh stream of tears that encapsulated her face, her mouth moving, her voice silent. She was yelling why…why didn't he save them anyway, why didn't he try!? Why did he lie at the start, why didn't he let them die! How could he be so damned heartless, so cold and logical and that she hated him, they all hated him, why didn't he answer, she wanted him to answer…answer to this stupid,,,shit he had put them through, put Jade and Darwin and Brandy through, that their death's were his fault, that he could have done something, should have done something, why didn't he answer!

On…and on…and on she yelled till small drops of blood flew from her mouth spattering his ashen stiff face, then Marcie grabbed her shoulders and she stopped yelling and started crying again. Through the whole thing, damn him, but he never turned, even when his own tears hit the wood with Ginger's, he tightened his grip and stood still…and I damned him for that. Both Marcie and Ginger sat in the middle, lost in tears like the rest of them, they silently watched a half-flooded house go by, still burning, as they rounded a bend to arrive at the safe…place.

We're in the safe place, their covered completely over by rock except from the top, which reaches far higher than the water will ever rise, so they are safe. We were all drained mentally, but him physically as well after battling currents for three straight hours of silence. Using a log from the raft, he had cut it into a small teepee for a fire that now burned steadily to embrace the huddled masses surrounding it's glow.

Nonetheless, the moment they all slept, he took one panoramic glance for memory…then started climbing the round fractured façade surrounding their hideaway. Tiptoeing across the gravel side, pebbles fell, knocking larger chunks free with a rumbling clatter that ended in a cracked basin along with his sigh…it wouldn't do to wake them, would it?

Though he ripped his gray shirt several times, collecting numerous cuts and bruises in the darker top, his toe broken by a small crevice it had been jammed in, his trek was over, almost. Its not that I believe they'd never forgive me for what's occurred, what I've done to them, the acts…I know with time the pain would dull…the memories fade eventually allowing the situation or situations would occur with the wounds being mending, moving past…they'll forget the hatred, live repaired lives.

You could say its me, I could say that I can never forget and move on…everytime I saw their cracking smiles, it would serve as nothing more than a vessel of time, rushing with memories of today. The same could be said for me to them and much more stronger, back by right and honest truth to feel sad thinking of me, not for me. I could simply remove myself from them, live nearby but still away that it was only at rare moments would eyes should meet. But that can never be, for today is the day I atone for my sins.

I stated before I expected no vindication and I will ask for none…what I have done could quite feasibly be forgiven by these girls, their future time more than enough to give me a second chance, but I don't deserve it. I am trying with all my heart not to make this sound like some faux-pas goth heart-to-heart because that is not it. Logic purveys my soul…I once feared there was no emotion left in me, I now know that it died well before I recognized a fear for it…and so by logic standards I live and die. The water is only twenty feet below the cliff-line, I hit with enough force to break my concentration and maybe a rib, but the pain fades along with the light.

I have left a note saying simply I'm sorry by the fire and instructions how to make the rations last for the month it will take the waters to fall sufficiently for return travel. I don't think they will be sad, not heartless…they…in shock of what I have done, but the backs of their minds will think not surprised. I can't help but smile at…something, what? I wonder for minutes past, but soon my mind starts to darken like the swirling currents about me. Maybe it's…giving my…for, them…or…finally letting go.

My last thought is I'm sorry and I hope they forgive me…and that I'm not really sorry at all and just always wanted the forgiveness for not doing this for the other people in my life.

I would have done this if you had asked me, it's your souls that'll go heaven for ignorantly yelling that I save them all…it's your soul screaming at reality to go fuck off..

I don't know how the air it breathes

I don't know who moves the reeds.

All I know is life, life, it's gotta be

Time that was…both you and me…

A broken boy at year 17

Your love was my one life's mean

Now it seems that I must make due

On that loan from my heart I withdrew.