AN: Just a little speculation on how Killian could get his heart back. Includes slight spoiler from the 4x10 synopsis.

I know I was a lot of things

"I've been looking for you."

Killian cursed at the sight of the cocky thief charging toward him. Of all the people he had thought to avoid, this Will Scarlet hadn't been on the list. But there he was, fists clenched and fire in his eyes.

"Lovely to see you mate, coming from trying to rob the library again?"

Killian hardly had time to drawl out his reply before a fist came in contact with his jaw. He reeled back, pain exploding along his nerves.

"Bloody hell!" he cursed, his hand coming up to cradle his face. Scarlet looked ready to punch again, but this time Killian was ready and dodged the attack with another muttered curse. He wasn't in the mood for this. He had just finished delivering Henry to the Dark One, and now he had planned on returning to the dock to wait out the rest of the curse. It turned out that, without his heart, he wasn't capable of seeing the beauty in the world anyway, so the bloody curse had left him all but unaffected.

But Scarlet was very much affected… and had apparently decided to take his cursed anger out on Killian.

"You deserve that, you wanker," Scarlet snarled, taking another swing that Killian once again dodged. "You deserve that and everything else I give you. Running around beating blokes faces bloody without a thought. What would your sheriff think if she found out?"

Emma. The thought of her sent a pang through Killian's non-existent heart. He hadn't realized how strongly he'd felt for her, not until he'd lost his heart and still the longing for her remained. His Emma, whom he would never see again. He had promised her he would survive, but even Captain Hook had an expiry date and the Dark One would be sure he met his.

"I imagine she'd be quite angry," Killian said in response to Scarlet's question. "Why don't you run along and tell her?"

It would be best if the thief did, he decided. Tell Emma about their interaction outside the library. Let her find out about the hat, about the Crocodile, about all of it. Then she would hate him. She would hate him and be happy he was gone, no need to mourn for a one handed pirate with a drinking problem. Killian wanted her to hate him, because it was far better than the alternative.

He didn't want to cause her pain.

"Oh no. I'm not telling the sheriff anything. You'll tell her," Scarlet said, getting right in his face. "You'll tell her and I'll laugh when she realizes what a fool she was to trust a pirate."

"Get out of my face, Scarlet," Killian replied, his voice almost pleasant. Enough is enough, and Killian just wanted to leave him behind, to go to the docks and wait out what was left of his time.

The Crocodile had everything he needed, and Killian wondered how much longer he had, before his heart was crushed and it was all ended. He turned away from Scarlet, already forgetting about the thief. It was a foolish thing to do, though, to turn his back on a cursed man with a grudge.

He landed on the ground hard, surprise and all the air being knocked from his lungs rendering him immobile. Then Scarlet flipped him over and began to pound his fist into his face.

"Don't. Turn. Your. Back. On. Me. You. Pirate," he growled, each word split by a punch. Killian groaned in pain, began to lift his arms to defend himself.

Then pain radiated from his chest.

He gave an agonized groan, his arms falling to his sides again. No longer did the pain in his face bother him, instead all of his nerve ends seemed to have settled in his chest. It was agony – made the sensation of having his heart removed seemed harmless. He rolled onto his side, curling into a ball, his hand clutching at his heart. A wave of magic washing over them made Scarlet let him, as the spell of Shattered Sight left him and Will stared first at his fist, then at the pirate, who was all but whimpering on the ground at his feet.

"Hook?" Scarlet asked, somewhat incredulously. "Oh, hell. I've gone and ruined the sheriff's boyfriend."

Under other circumstances, it might have been humorous, hearing the resignation in Scarlet's voice as he realized that Emma would likely want to kill him for turning Killian's face to mush. Killian even allowed himself a moment to enjoy the thought, to picture it as if he would have the chance to see Emma's face again, but then another stab of pain hit and the noise he just managed to muffle was more scream than moan.

"Now you're just milking it," Scarlet informed him, voice sounding utterly unimpressed. Killian tried to muster up the strength to tell him to sod off, had even half turned onto his back so he could look at the boy as he did so, but then another wave of pain came, and he clawed at his chest, this time not quite muffling the scream.

"Shit," Scarlet muttered, and Killian felt him kneel at his side, rolling him onto his back. "Shit. This isn't my punches. Shit. You don't have a bloody heart. Why did you let that happen?"

"Didn't let it," Killian just managed to ground out before pain wracked his body again. The Crocodile must be taking his time with this. There was no other reason it should be taking so long to crush his heart, if it weren't because the Crocodile wanted to take his time. Twisted little man.

"Well… how did the sheriff let it happen? Isn't she supposed to be our Saviour, some paragon of white magic?"

Killian growled, half in pain, half at the implication that Emma had somehow failed him. He managed to glare at Scarlet to cursed again.

"Oh, bugger. She doesn't know, does she? Well what am I supposed to do? Run and tell her that her boyfriend is dying? Hell, she already hates me."

But he looked ready to do just that, to get up and go for Emma, and Killian was pretty sure he saw something approaching empathy in the boy's eyes. He didn't like it, the thought that his last moments would be spent with the thief… but when Scarlet went to get to his feet, Killian reached out and grasped his arm, holding him in place.

"Don't want her to see me die," he grated out in a brief reprieve form the pain.

"Can't save you if she doesn't know," Scarlet pointed out, and Killian shook his head.

"Dark One."

"Ah," realization lit Scaret's eyes and he allowed Killian to pull him back down. "What do you want from me, then?"

Nothing. Everything. Killian didn't know how to respond to the question, because now that he was dying? Hell if he wasn't recalling every reason he had to live.

"Don't want to die alone," he said at last, and Scarlet settled in next to him, that empathy still there, and Killian wondered what had happened to the boy, that he understood so well what was happening to Killian.

"No one ever does," Will agreed simply. "Ever met the Queen of Hearts?"

Killian couldn't speak, pain once again spasming through him, so instead he nodded.

"Piece of work, wasn't she old Cora? Taught my Ana everything she knew and twisted her all up inside. Usually the way it works."

Killian said nothing, simply let the sound of Scarlet's voice, talking about Wonderland and a girl named Ana and another named Alice and how they had both saved and destroyed him at different times, wash over him. The only sign that the boy felt any distress over the situation was the way his hand clutched at Killian's arm, so tightly it probably would have hurt, if he'd been able to feel anything but his chest.

At some point, Killian blacked out. He came to again, to hear about Genies and Jabberwocky, things that made no sense, before he floated off again.

And then he thought he heard her voice for a while. Beautiful and filled with tears, and Killian hated it when Emma cried.

"What's wrong with him."

"Dark One has his heart. Man must be sick, to be taking so much time with it."

Killian didn't hear Emma's reply, and he wanted to curse Scarlet, because why did he have to say anything? Couldn't he have just let Emma speak for a while?

"Hold on, Killian," a voice murmured, but it's not Emma's, it's Dave's, and as fond as Killian is of the prince, he doesn't quite understand why he would be hearing his voice in his dying hours.

Then both prince and Emma's voice are gone, and it's Scarlet, this time talking about the days before Wonderland. About Robin and his Merry Men and how somehow, Robin had managed to forgive Will for horrible things. It's a right sign of being a hero, Will states, that forgiveness.

Would Emma ever forgive him? Killian wonders. Part of him hopes not, that she'll hold onto his lies and hate him for the rest of her life, just so she won't feel the pain of his death. Another part wishes she could have granted him absolution before he succumbed to death.

Emma… he thinks. It's the one thought he focuses on, as pain rose again and again and he became positive he was reaching his end. EmmaEmmaEmma.

"Bloody Hell," Scarlet's voice breaks through his fevered thoughts. "Whatever the hell those two have planned, they had better bloody hurry."

The words made no sense to Killian, and then pain worse than any other wracks his body and nothing makes sense. He bows his back of the ground and doesn't bother trying to muffle his screams anymore. They leave his mouth, and he's sure that they are prayers interspersed as well, pleas for it to be done, to please, please stop it stop! Scarlet is there, saying words – comforting maybe, or they could be shouts for help. Killian is deaf to anything but his own screams and the pain in his chest.

It's a nasty death for Captain Hook, as it turned out. No dying with nobility for him. Why would there be? He was nothing but a pirate.

Death looked a lot like Storybrooke.

He blinked up at the sky, blue with fluffy clouds, and he recognized the buildings. Then a man leaned over him, and he recognized Scarlet's big eyes and blinked in confusion.

"Am I in hell?" he asked, his voice gruff and hoarse. He can't think of any other reason for it to be Scarlet he sees, if he's not in hell.

"You're not in hell, bloody wanker," Scarlet replies, and he falls back, his expression looking almost relieved. "You're still alive. Thank the bloody savior."

"Emma," Killian murmured, blinking. He still doesn't have a heart, but his chest feels warm, the pain from earlier rescinding, and he reaches up to press a hand where the organ should be. Emma… she has it. He knows that as surely as he knows his name. No, surely as he knows her name.

"Yeah, yeah. The sheriff to the rescue and all," Scarlet replied, reaching out a hand. Killian allowed him to pull him up, so he's sitting. "I suppose you'll want me to lie to her about all of this or you'll kill me or whatever."

"No," Killian retorted immediately. "No. No more lies. You have a mean right hook, Scarlet."

"So do you," Scarlet said dryly, and Killian found himself chuckling.

"Killian!" The voice interrupted whatever sort of moment Pirate and Knave might have been having, because Emma was there and in his arms, and Killian clutched at her like a lifeline, her warmth soaking into him.

"Emma," he breathed, burying his nose in her hair so he could breathe in her scent. "Emma."

She pulled back and cradled his head in her hands. Her eyes darted up and down his form, as though making sure he was okay. Belle and David are with her he realized with surprise. David smiled at him and gave a nod, but Belle looked solemn, her eyes red and swollen from tears.

"Captain-" she began, stepping forward, but Killian shook his head.

"Whatever he did, he did himself, Belle. You played no part in it… but me… Emma, love, I lied to you-"

"Hat that sucks in magical being and blackmail. He told us," Emma replied simply. "And we will be talking about that… but I'm trying something new. It's called trust. And I trust you. I do. And Killian, I thought you were going to die."

Tears tracked down her cheeks, and Killian raised his hand, wiping them away as they fell.

"Don't cry, Emma. Not for me," he said, and Emma surprised him, slamming her fists into his chest, her green eyes sparking with anger through the tears.

"Don't say that. Of course I'm going to cry for you! I love you, you idiotic pirate!"

The confession shocked him to his core, leaving him to stare at her in shock.

"How could you not know that?" Emma demanded, reading his expression and pushing his hair out of his face. "You know everything else about me. When I need you, when I'm hiding something… how could you not know that I love you?"

She doesn't let Killian answer, instead pulling him in by his lapels for a kiss. Killian returns it happily, but she pulls back almost immediately, leaving him frowning.

"No," she declared, shaking her head. "Still not right."

And she lifted a familiar satchel – the one where the Crocodile kept his heart – and pulls it out. They both look at it for a moment, and Killian finds himself luxuriating in the feel of her holding his heart, the warmth it sends through his chest.

"Look at it," she said, her voice soft, just for his ears. "Not a single speck of darkness."

"That's because of you," he returned, and Emma looked up and smiled at him, a beautiful, breathtaking smile. Then she pressed the heart against him, returning it to its rightful place.

"Now," she said, resting her hand over his chest, where his heart beat below her palm. "Let's try this again."

And she kissed him once more, and this time, it was right.

AN: And if you continue on, you can get Emma's POV on how the actual retrieval of the heart went.