Just Your Average, Ordinary, Everyday Psychopath

Disclaimer: I do not own the Soul Eater characters or the anime/manga, but that would be glorious. All I own is my OCs, the story, and the hours and will that I mustered up to write this. ~(^v^)~

Chapter 1: Bring out the coat and pipe, Watson

"You've reached the Voice Mail box of Kyra Halen. Please leave a message after the tone. Beep!"

"Hey, Kyra! I know you're there. Please pick up the phone…" A melodic adult voice spoke after the tone. "You know I'll just call again and again until you pick up… Hello, hello, hello!" An irritated sigh followed.

"Shelby, why do you always insist on calling me before I wake up?" I answered the phone in a groggy voice. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes with the back of my hand.

"There's been another murder." My sister's voice filled my ears, excitement flooded her words. My eyes closed in content and a smile grew upon my lips. "I'm at the café across the street from the crime scene. I'll meet you there."

"Whoa, Sea Biscuit. I don't even know where the crime scene is." I stretched as I got up from my bed and began to rummage through my drawers for comfortable jeans.

"Oh, duh Shelby," I heard my sister smack her forehead repeatedly. "It's at 301 Mimosa Avenue, right here in town. I'm at Heart's Café just across the street." I was about to reply, but she ended the conversation.

I hurriedly got changed in dark jeans and a dark blue and black striped long sleeved shirt. I slipped my feet into my beaten Chucks. I grabbed my Police crap and placed them in my wallet. I grabbed my keys, left the house, and locked the doors. I jogged down the driveway of my condo and to my light cobalt blue BMW X6 SUV.

"What took you so long?" Shelby asked as soon as I walked through the door of Heart's Café.

"Oh you know," I replied as I took the seat next to Shelby. "The fact that I wasn't even awake when you called." Shelby handed me a cappuccino and a cheese Danish with a roll of her eyes. I took a sip of the sweet coffee and a bite of the Danish.

"So, did you ever find out any interesting details about the killer?" Shelby spoke as she leaned in, grasping her coffee cup and swirling the contents inside.

"Only that they kill blonde college females," I said while taking another bite of the Danish. "And that the killer took the lives of the girls who had the same make and model of a red sports car?" I took a sip of the cappuccino. Shelby's lips pulled up unto a smile as she placed a stray, blonde hair behind her ear. Her hair turned darker and darker every year, eventually leaving it as a dirty blonde style. It suited the bouncy curls that hung around her shoulders

"Holy crap, Ky!" Shelby's smile grew even more. "I never noticed that! I've been working on this case since the first murder and you've only been on it for three of the nine murders."

"Ah, make that four of the ten." I acknowledged as I took a final swig of the cappuccino and ate the last of the Danish.

"So you'll help me with this case?" Shelby asked, a hint of accomplishment in her voice.

"Who said that I wouldn't?" I replied with a smile.

~(^v^)~

"What are we dealing with here?" I asked as I crouched next to the body of the college girl. Her blood, like all the others, was used to make elegant swirls and patterns that covered her body and a foot around her. I couldn't help but stare; this must've been a pain to make it perfectly symmetrical every time.

"Man, this one has different cut marks on the wrists and the neck." Shelby pointed out as she handed me a case file.

"Almost as if they were in a hurry or if it pained the killer to do this." Lieutenant Evans spoke up behind me, almost as if to startle me.

"Ah, Wes, you tried to startle me again I see." I stood up as I went through the file on the girl lying at my feet.

"Darn, and I came over her to see if I could scare the seriousness out of your system." Wes spoke as he trained his eyes on me. I glared at him and Shelby gave him a wave of dismissal.

"Get out of here, you scound." Shelby slanted her eyes at him. Wes rolled his eyes and walked away shaking his head. "Why does he always try to distract you from your work?"

"Maybe because he has nothing better to do." I said with a shrug.

"Hrmm, well what does her file say?" Shelby asked, now back on task.

"Well," I handed her the file and crouched back down to the victim. "It appears that she came from a nearby college, same car, same color hair, and everything."

"Her file also shows that she has cuts in the same areas of the others." A male voice said to my right. Ah, good old Ira Rex. Ira here is a good friend of mine that always tries to get with everyone at the station. "Isn't that right, Kyra?"

"Ah, yes it is." I stood up after examining her wrists with my gloved hands.

"So her file says that her name is Penny Smith. She's 23 years old and she recently bought her car a month ago." Shelby patted me on the shoulder. "Maybe we should go ask around the college to see if anyone saw her leave with someone."

"Good luck with that college, girls." Ira stated as he examined Penny's slit throat. "There's a lot of hookers dressed like college girls there." I almost witnessed Shelby do a Face-Palm. "Your hatred makes my facial hair grow."

"You're a strange little man." Shelby grabbed my arm and led me to her car.

~(^v^)~

"So what you're saying is that you didn't see anyone with Penny Smith on Wednesday night?" Shelby questioned a college girl. I could tell that Shelby was getting angry. She has a habit of grinding her jaws when she doesn't get the answers she wants to hear.

"No way, today is Wednesday! Could you be like, from the future or somethin'?" The college girl held a perfectly manicured hand to her mouth. Shelby threw me a look as if pleading for help. I held up my hands in a gesture as to say 'You-Wanted-To-Question-Her'.

"No, I meant last Wednesday." Shelby brushed her bangs behind her ear in frustration. I listened to their pointless conversation as I looked around the main entrance to the college.

"Okay, nobody has seen Penny on the night that she went missing." Shelby placed Penny's file in my hand.

"Hey, did you ever notice that this college spells out 'S.H.I.T'?" I laughed a bit to relieve some of Shelby's tension. "That's cool. I wonder if they planned that."

"Come on, we got to leave before they start class." Shelby tapped the file in my hands.

"Oh, Come Late and Start Sleeping?"

"Smart ass." She punched me lightly in the shoulder. "Okay, what about 'Finals'?"

"Ummm… Fudge, I Never Actually Learned Shit."

Shelby let out a small laugh as we headed back to her car. It felt good to relieve some of the tension. Shelby could be a scary person when she wanted to be, not that I've ever seen her scary side… Maybe…

~(^v^)~

"Penny Smith is clearly one of the killer's victims." Shelby interrupted the silence of my condo.

"What makes you say that?" I spoke up sarcastically. "Speaking of the killer, what are we going to call the killer?"

"Hrmm… What about the 'College Chopper' or the 'Blonde Butcher'?" Shelby asked while making us some tea.

"I like the 'Blonde Butcher' one. Makes them sound like they mean business."

"Yeah, I've been pondering about that one for a while now." Shelby handed me a mug of hot tea. The mug was blue with a black rabbit on the front. I smiled to myself.

"I think it suites the killer." I nestled myself deeper into the couch and sipped my tea.

Shelby stretched her shoulders until they popped. "I wonder how long it will take us to catch this guy." Shelby pondered.

"I don't know. Maybe a few days, weeks, maybe even a month." I took another sip. Shelby reclined in my office chair near the window. I began to calculate the time between the murders.

"Have you had any thoughts on why the killer choses blonde college girls?" Shelby spoke, interrupting my thoughts.

"I've been pondering the possibilities that our 'Blonde Butcher' has a grudge."

"A grudge? Where did you come up with that?" Shelby turned my way, completely captivated with my words.

"Yes, a grudge. Maybe the killer was in a car accident that involved a red sports car. Maybe a blonde college girl died in the accident, or she was the one that caused it." I took another sip of the tea. "That or the killer is attracted to college girls with red sports cars, asked them out, they rejected him, he goes mad and kills them. Either or." Shelby punched my arm lightly with my sarcastic option.

"Will you help me search for accidents involving red sports cars tomorrow when you get to work?"

"Indeed I will, Watson."

~(^v^)~

Ah, now I'm finally alone with my thoughts. This is a bad thing.

~(^v^)~

"So, what you're saying is that the killer may have a grudge?" Wes asked as he leaned on my desk.

"Yes," I sighed as I shuffled through the case file on all the victims. "You know I'm never wrong about these kinds of things."

"True, you're the best one on this team." Wes scratched his head. "How is it that you know serial killers' motives and thoughts before we even get a single lead?"

"Well," I palled, Excellent question, Wes. "In order to catch the killer, you have to think like a killer."

"Ah, well you're definitely the best in that department." Wes straightened his posture and slid off my desk. "Keep up the good work." He ruffled my hair in a playful way and headed off back to his own office.

Finally! I have some alone time with my new friend. A smile crept upon my face as I looked at the photos of the 'Blonde Butcher's playmates.

Victim number one: Cassadie Arima. Cassadie looked exactly like all the other victims. Even the same details and everything. There was a small tribal butterfly on her collarbone, but that is the only difference. The first and only one with a tattoo. I leaned in and took a closer look at the tattoo. The tattoo of the butterfly started off as a dark black at the top, and then faded into a dark blue, then to a medium blue, then to a light blue, until it turned into a white color.

Victim number two: Lisys 'Li' Roberts. Li was slightly different from the other murders. Well, they all are in their own way. Li is the youngest of the victims and the one with the most symmetrical cuts. She was also found in a more private area than the other victims. Li was near an old library that wasn't even remotely close to any hotels. The other victims were displayed in front of a hotel or in one of the rooms.

Third Victim: Gabriella Styles. Styles' body had more cuts and bruises than the other victims. Found lying beside her car in front of a recently closed hotel.

Fourth Victim: Mocha Mystique Skype. Nothing really significant for Mocha.

Fifth Victim: Mindy Lois Freeman. Dumped in a 4-Star hotel after Hispanic maid delivered toiletries.

Sixth Victim: K.C. Kristopher. K.C. was displayed upon the terrace of a shabby hotel.

Seventh Victim: Alex 'Pisces' Price. Pisces was found by a staff member at a very luxurious hotel a few miles from the hotel where Skype was located.

Eighth Victim: Christina Antae. Meh, nothing new to add. Found in front of a new hotel.

Ninth Victim: Tyler 'Sixx' Phoenix. Found in front of Dragon Dreams hotel. Cool hotel, if you ask me.

And finally number ten: Penny Smith. Lippi's Hotel at 301 Mimosa Avenue. Most recent and farthest from the other murders.

Time to bring out the coat and pipe, Watson.

~(^v^)~ Author's Note ~(^v^)~

What's up everybody? How's it going? My sincerest apologies that I haven't updated Death's Hoodie in a few weeks. Okay, a month at least. I've been having a severe case of that blasted Writer's Block so I decided to add a new little story. I'm not sure where this FanFiction will head, but please tell me if you like it or not! Hope you enjoy!

Oh, I'll be posting way more often now that I bought myself a new laptop and better Internet. If you have any OCs that you would like in this little 'Happening', let me know! Thanks!

One last thing, when Shelby said scound, it's from the movie Avatar by James Cameron. It means moron.

Until next time,

Hoodie ~(^v^)~