With or Without You, by Lady(dragon) Guinevere
A/N: Sadly, I don't own the characters. If I did, I wouldn't be sittin' here writing and posting fanfic, I'd be off doing the wild thing with Jordan Catalano instead ;)
R&R if you like it, please!
Chapter 1 "Avoiding"
Angela VO: "Like high school itself isn't demeaning enough already, they're making us go on some lame fieldtrip to study the Native American way of life, near Serpent Mound. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for learning things about Indians and stuff, but *why* do we have to do it by sleeping in Teepees and dressing up like so-called Native Americans? First we slaughter them and make them adjust to our own culture and the few ones left, we let them stay alive in these zoo-like reservations. A couple of hundred years later, we suddenly develop an interest in their culture and want to imitate their way of life… Sometimes I feel ashamed to be part of the hypocritical way of life of Americans, you know?"
Like a never-ending yellow train, the school busses cut through the green landscape on their way to the campsite near Serpent Mound. Slumping in her seat, Angela tried to ignore the overenthusiastic clamour surrounding her like a stifling blanket.
Ever since the infamous evening she climbed into Jordan's car to discuss the letter he supposedly wrote her, two and a half months ago, her life had been a big mess. Not being able to stop thinking about the situation that led to writing the letter, as well as the situation followed by those actual words, Angela's introspectiveness had been amplified even more. Her thoughts were stuck in the same circle, over and over again, until they became one big, indefinable blur. Wondering what the right choice would be, drove her insane.
Angela VO: "God, I'm like, so tired of thinking, and so exhausted of being haunted by Jordan and Brian's words. The fact I never seem to have that one, clarifying moment, is even more fatiguing. I keep hoping for the eureka-moment to hit me, like that guy from the bible who got to talk to this burning bush, you know? But the more I think, the more I'm whirling down into this infinite, black hole. It's like I can't come up for air anymore, all I see is the darkness that's trying to squeeze a choice from me."
Sure enough, it took Jordan quite some time to say the words she needed to hear. "I'm sorry, Angela."
But his words didn't kill the little creature that was chewing on her mind, repeating its mantra over and over again. "You can't trust him anymore!"
The fluffy little animal that resided in her heart always answered differently. "He wouldn't hurt you again! Jordan Catalano made a mistake, that's all."
Yes, Jordan Catalano just made a mistake, one slip-up was all it took to make Angela question his faithfulness and loyalty. Ironically, that gaffe made him fully aware that he *wanted* to be faithful and loyal to her.
If Jordan Catalano hadn't 'ummed' Rayanne Graff, Angela and he would've still been *just* friends and nothing more. Now, they weren't even friends, but heartbroken lovers.
Barely visible over the headrest of the chair in front of Angela, Brian Krakow's blond curls lay there like a little, crocheted rug.
Angela VO: "God, I actually like, pity Brian Krakow. He tried to help Jordan Catalano out by expressing his *own* feelings for me. Why couldn't Jordan Catalano just tell me he was sorry by himself? Why is he capable of writing songs, but not able to simply tell me he's sorry?"
"Without asking for any of this to happen, they both lured me into their web, ready to eat me alive. I never wanted to know Brian is like, into me, you know? I never asked him to develop feelings for me, I never even treated him decent to begin with. I never led him on in any way, so why did he like, have to inconvenience me by sharing his feelings for me? Now I'm forced to stay out of his proximity, because things between us are even more awkward than before."
That letter completely messed up her life, who knew beautiful words like that could cause such disaster and chaos. Already avoiding Rayanne Graff, Brian Krakow was added to the list as well. Since being near Jordan prohibited her from thinking clearly, she tried to maintain her distance from him too. Her days were filled with dodging people until she finally got her feelings together and reached a conclusion.
To be continued…