Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, no copyright intended. R&R? ENJOY!
Standing ovation followed after another astounding performance. Ms. Rachel Berry, 'New York's critically acclaimed: Favourite Leading Actress in a Broadway Musical,' found herself with roses at her feet. The stage was her sanctuary; it felt like home and every performance proved she was born to perform. Taking a bow in a courteous fashion the stars dressing room awaited.
A creamy-white single flower with dark-green leaves possessing a heavenly scent lay in the receivers golden brown palm. Slender, perfectly manicured fingers ghosted over the stem and lovingly glazed over the delicate petals in fascination.
Broadway Bar, tonight 8.00pm. Please, say you'll be there?
The cryptic note that accompanied the flower taunted Rachel like a predator taunts its prey before going in for the kill. She felt like she was in a virtual game and that she must follow various rules and objectives if she wishes to survive and win the deadly game set for her. Okay, so the sender to be Jigsaw coming to get her for all the times she was a diva, was highly impossible, considering he was just a character in a film she saw the other night. Shaking her head humourlessly she cursed herself for having a highly active imagination. No more horror films for a while. She desperately wanted to meet this person who purposely placed her in their game. Besides, with handwriting as elegant as theirs they couldn't be Jigsaw, right? The only person who could answer that question and confirm for the thousandth time that indeed Jigsaw did not exist in the real world, was in the dressing room next door.
"You may enter."
"Kurt, before you say anything, I am aware that I am still in costume, but I have been a little preoccupied."
"Are you okay, you look a little sheepish?"
"I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do!"
"Okay, I'm going to need you to act sane and tell me what's wrong."
"I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do!"
"Rachel!"
"Will I do?" questioned an angelic tone of voice.
"You look gorgeous."
"Thank you Brittany. Is she here?"
"She got here early. Typical Munchkin.. Ouch what the hell, Q! What was that for?"
"Her name is Rachel.. Ouch Santana! Did you just flick me!?"
"Duh, you hit me!"
"Santana apologise to Quinn."
"But Britt she hit me first! Baby, please don't look at me like that.. Oh fine. Sor-ry."
"What was that, I didn't hear you?"
"Don't push it Fabray."
"I see her. She came! Quinn, look over there, she's getting a drink."
"Did I not just say that?"
Quinn silently moved to stand next to Brittany. With fear that almost amounted to anxiety; she peeked around a red obstruction. Automatically, her eyes caught sight of the brunette and her breath involuntarily hitched. It seemed as if her surroundings had slowed down for several seconds, completely lost in the others presence. Quinn could not believe her eyes. No one was as beautiful as Rachel. Rachel was perfect. She took in her long naturally wavy dark hair that cascaded down her bare shoulders. Quinn held her breath as she subtly scanned over Rachel's appearance. The girl donned a daringly short pastel pink, sleeveless dress; showing off her curves and perfectly toned arms and legs and finished off her look with white high heels. She had forgotten how she could get lost in her chocolate brown orbs, which were complimented by her full pink lips, cute nose and tanned skin. Quinns pulse beat rapidly. From the moment her eyes closed unwillingly, she knew she would not be able to get this image of Rachel out of her mind. Her eyes remained sealed for a long while, before opening them and resuming her previous activity, taking in everything all over again.
Quinns life thus far may have passed in relative ease, but something always felt incomplete. Every enticement that placed in her path, never felt right. She only ever had one want and the absence of that want sat a mere distance away. Her capacious mind changed from excitement to pure desire, to be in company of Rachel felt right. She willed communication to sympathise with her and permit Rachels gaze to reply in response. The very thought of their eyes meeting across the room made her insides tingle with a mix of nerves and anticipation.
"I can't do this." Quinn panicked, turning around to face Santana, unable to stand for a single instant in the same place.
"So help me God Q, if you do not get up on that stage and do what we came here to do, do not think for one moment I wont go all Lima Heights on you."
"But I'm nervous. What if she leaves before I even start?"
"You make her stay and listen."
"Rachel will love it, Quinn. You got nothing to be nervous about," assured Brittany with a sweet smile.
"Ladies and gentleman, I give you the Little Lambs!"
A chorus of cheers and applause followed the announcement.
"Hey, we're the Little Lambs. Thank you everyone for coming out tonight!" bounced Brittany full of energy.
Whistles trailed along a line and died the second Santana venomously glared at the offenders.
"Our opening song this evening is dedicated to someone special, who is out here in the audience. You know who you are. I want you to listen very carefully because I mean every word," insisted Quinn gripping her microphone.
Rachel and Kurt sat by the Bar in the middle of conversation when a familiar voice caught their attention.
"Is that.." Brittany
Rachel blinked unable to respond.
"And.." Santana
Rachel blinked again.
"And.." Quinn
Rachel swallowed down her saliva in disbelief.
"Who are they talking about?"
Rachel shuffled awkwardly in her seat.
Quinn bit her lip nervously hoping that the feeling would subside. She stared hesitantly ahead, while an overwhelming sensation swept through her. This was her moment. She had to get it right.
"Get your girl, Q," mouthed Santana with a wink, hoping to ease her ex Captains nerves. Quinn thanked her best friend by shyly smiling and leaning into her momentarily.
In unison Santana and Brittney reached across and removed their microphones that were placed on stands.
When the rain is blowing in your face
Rachel blushed when her eyes met Quinns, realising the song was for her. By the first line she was entirely in awe of the blonde before her. She could not deny that Quinn had a mesmerising voice, even though it shook with nerves. She did not think she'd seen someone as beautiful as Quinn. Quinn was nothing short of breathtaking. Rachel continued her study and noticed how the glimmers of the half-extinguished stage lights radiated onto the girls flawless skin. She had to swiftly take an immense gulp of her red wine whilst hazel eyes continued to glance at her every move.
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love
Chocolate brown orbs penetrated hazel orbs, both intently staring at one another. The fear of losing eye contact empowered the need to look away. Rachels stomach tied up in knots, eyes becoming moist. Her palms became sweaty, she was frightened and elated at the same time. Not a day went by without thinking about Quinn. With one secret that she alone possessed, she clung onto hope that she would one day see the blonde again. A strong need to seize the girl and place a kiss onto her lustrous rosy lips, ascended. They both alone shared a memory that was being brought to the surface through one song.
When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love
Rachel involuntarily closed her eyes and subconsciously thought back to that last day she had seen Quinn, right before they parted ways:
"Quinn," called out Rachel as she rushed out of the choir room, coming into view with the lingering form of Quinn pacing down the deserted halls and further away from her calls.
"Quinn!" she repeated with a little more conviction this time.
Nothing. The blonde continued to walk away.
"I don't get a goodbye. Everyone got a goodbye, but me. Hell even the pianist got a GOODBYE. What have I ever done to you, Quinn!? Stop walking, you will listen to what I have to say," she pleaded desperately.
The desperation in her tone made Quinn halt her movements.
"Do you wanna know something? I went to bed night after night asking myself, 'what have I done.' I woke up every morning thinking a new day would bring with it new beginnings, accept it never did, did it Quinn? Cause everyday you continuously continued to torture me without explanation. And I said nothing-"
"What do you want from me?" interrupted Quinn turning around, revoking the past.
"I handled everything you threw my way. But this, you leaving without so much as a word that is a new level of low, even for you Quinn," Rachel said on the verge of tears unable to mask her sadness. "So, I repeat what have I ever done to you? Because I honest to God have no idea. I've been slowly going insane in there," she pointed to the choir room. "Trying to figure it out. Tell me you have the answer."
"Berry. Just let me leave," Quinn hopelessly demanded.
"No. I want to know. I deserve to know, you owe me that much."
"I don't owe you anything!" interjected Quinn coldly.
"I just I-I just wanted a goodbye like everyone else. Do I seriously repulse you that much you could not get away fast enough?" asked Rachel with watery orbs.
"You don't repulse me," exhaled Quinn sharply feeling nothing but numbness.
Rachel averted her eyes from the blonde and glanced across the hallway deep in thought.
"What is this really about Rachel?" inquired the hazel-eyed girl lowering her tone.
"I-"
"Don't. Don't lie to me; I know you well enough to know that this is not about a lousy goodbye. What is this really about?"
Quinn took small cautious steps toward Rachel.
"I wanted to wish you all the best in your future endeavours, Quinn. I truly believe you'll make something of yourself. Never forget that I believe in you," murmured Rachel before hurriedly turning around to hide her silent tears.
"Don't you dare walk away! You came after me, why?" commanded Quinn, her own voice visibly hoarse with the tears she was holding back.
"Like I said, I just wanted a goodbye like everyone else got to have.. Goodbye Quinn," replied Rachel with her back to Quinn. Her tone cracking by the second.
"You really want to know why? Why I couldn't say goodbye to you, do you honestly want to know? Because I can't say you'll like the answer Rachel."
Rachel glanced over her shoulder. She held her breath at the sight of an uncontrollably tearful Quinn. The taller girl didn't look like her usually immaculate form.
"Where is the good in goodbye. Rachel. Out of all the people in there," she pointed to the choir room, just as Rachel had done, "You-you're the one I am going to miss the most. Can you not see, it hurts too much?"
Rachel looked down nervously at the floor then back up at the visibly wounded Quinn; trying to make sense of what she was hearing.
Quinn felt her hands tremble slightly. She found it hard to breathe as tears made their way down. She knew it was hard to believe for the petite diva.
"Quinn.."
Quinn didn't know what was happening to her at the mention of her name spoken with sheer affection, she tingled at the sensation of salty waters. She had always been one for keeping her emotions in. She wouldn't even cry in front of her parents.
"This is your goodbye, Rachel," she whispered turning around. She had to leave before her sniffles revolved into full on sobs because giving into the brunette took everything Quinn had.
I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong
Rachel was quick to race around Quinn and cut her off in hopes to find some answers.
"What do you mean?"
Quinn tried to move past Rachel, only Rachel was quick to cut her off again.
"What did you mean, Quinn? What did you mean by miss me the most?"
"It means what it means, Rachel."
"I don't believe you."
"Please let me leave. I can't do this now."
"What is it about me you are going to miss? You know nothing about me. Nothing about me to miss!"
Rachel took a shaky breath, trying to get as much air, into her lungs as possible.
"Slushie facials, right? Tell me I'm right!"
Quinn closed her eyes in an attempt to block out Rachel's persistence, she was hurting, inside and out.
"Drawing me in unflattering positions? Seems you have an artistic gift, Quinn," she laughed humourlessly.
"I know! It's the demeaning name calling. Tell me Qui-"
"Enough! Please just stop!" interrupted Quinn sharply; hearing Rachel and picturing her with her tears streaming down, soaking her smooth cheeks was difficult.
"Why Quinn.. All I have ever wanted was to be friends."
Quinn at this moment felt an onslaught of watery droplets fall freely as she opened her eyes to look at Rachel.
"Friends. That's the reason Rachel. While you may have been content with us just being friends I could not dance around merrily when-" Quinn's voice quaked unable to continue.
Rachel looked confused.
"When what?" she urged for the hazel eyed girl to continue, "When what Quinn?" she pressed when she didn't get an answer.
"When I wanted to be so much more."
Everything seemed to slow down like the matrix effect. Rachel could not focus on anything to process. Her surroundings were spinning; she tried to take it all in as she slowly grasped her temples trying to stop the halls from whirling. Her eyes darted between Quinn and the hallway, in fear of a last-minute prank.
"This isn't happening."
Quinn tried to formulate words. She attempted to reach Rachel's hands in a chance to showcase her sincerity. Rachel, jolted back from the sudden contact; she peered down at her hands and tried to concentrate on her breathing, suddenly feeling claustrophobic. She backed away further, shaking her head with each step she took. She opened her mouth, but no words came out. She felt like a million eyes were on her, whisperers growing in volume.
"People say that love hurts, but that's not true. Emptiness hurts. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. How can people confuse something as beautiful as love with something so, so cold? It's the feeling of feeling something so great, that's beyond me. It's the only feeling in the world that covers up all the pain. Loneliness. Rejection."
"Do not get any closer."
"Rachel," spared Quinn helplessly, frozen to the spot as her face grew paler, "I lov-"
"Don't say it. Quinn," with difficulty, Rachel wept, shakily distancing herself from Quinn, before taking off and running into the nearest bathroom.
"Rachel!" Quinn cried after her.
I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love
Quinn quickly ran after Rachel. Her forehead lay resting against the cold, white bathroom door, taking slow even breaths before she entered. When she discreetly walked inside her heart shattered seeing how broken the crying chocolate eyed girl appeared and decided she would never forgive herself for being the cause.
"I know you probably don't want to hear this but I'm going to say it because I might never get this chance again. I love you, Rachel Berry," confessed Quinn, slowly making her way to stand behind Rachel.
"I don't know when you became a part of me. Between stupid arguments and making fun of you. I-I fell in love with you. I didn't ask for this to happen. You are the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I fall asleep. Just thinking about you puts a smile on my face.. particularly your diva storm outs, they make me smile the most and before you ask, no I am not mocking you. I think they're adorable, okay?" she faintly smiled before continuing.
"You have this infectious smile. Whenever I see you, I just want to hold you close to me.. Just thinking about how you would feel in my arms, my heartbeats faster, like it is now and I strain to keep it in like it doesn't belong to me anymore. Every song I listen to reminds me of you. Everytime you sang in glee club your voice took me somewhere. I'm not even sure I knew where, but one thing I did know was I liked where it took me. Your passion, made me want to fight for you. But I knew I couldn't. There were so many days I hated myself for not being able to. God Rachel, the worse way to miss someone is seeing them everyday knowing you can never have them. So many times I wanted to scream.." the hazel eyed beauty had to pause, hearing her voice shake with each confession.
"You make me feel so many emotions in the world and experience a thousand feelings in a single instant that it scares me."
"Why.. Why did you never say anything?" whimpered Rachel staring at Quinn's reflection through the mirror. This was everything she ever wanted to hear. Although, possibly in the worst circumstances.
"I was scared. I know that doesn't justify my reasoning but that's all I have. I was scared."
"You're Quinn Fabray. What could you possibly be scared about?"
"You don't understand," whimpered Quinn equally staring at Rachels reflection through the mirror.
"Your right I don't understand! People part like the red sea when they see you. All my life I've been made to believe I was nothing," yelled Rachel swiveling to come face-to-face with Quinn rubbing angrily at the tears that fell quicker than she could wipe them away. Gracefully keeping in her emotions completely went out the window. It always did when it came to Quinn.
Quinn inched forward and carefully lifted Rachel's chin so that she was now looking up at her and delicately tucked a stray strand behind her ear.
"You're not nothing," she lovingly assured as her lips quivered through sobs of her own.
"I was scared because someone else held your heart. I was scared because someone else got to kiss your lips. I was scared because someone else had you in their arms. I was scared because that someone else was the one you loved. I couldn't tell you only to have you confirm that I was not the one you wanted."
Rachel seemed like her legs could no longer hold her up, but Quinn was ready to catch her, urgently wrapping her slender arms firmly around the smaller girl. Rachel fought angrily against Quinn, she fought with all her strength; fighting warm hands that smothered her body. However, Quinn stayed strong, tightening her hold with difficulty. Rachel was surprisingly strong.
"Get off me!" Rachel shrieked. "Get off me, Quinn!"
Quinn ignored Rachels pleas; she wanted to comfort the brunette. There was nothing she could say to console someone who she had tormented for years, for reasons she no longer knew. Tears silently continued to cascade down her face as she tightened her arms around Rachel. Rachel's arms finally went limp, giving into the embrace, openly crying her heart out against Quinn's shoulder. Quinn clung onto Rachel as if her life depended on it. They stayed in each other's embrace, both worn out. Rachel stared at the wall in front of her, with her chin nestled into Quinn's neck. Quinn thought to encourage the chestnut haired girl in her arms to say something many times but she understood that Rachel would be unresponsive. The blonde just wanted to be in control of the situation, a situation that deep down she realised was now out of her hands as she licked her lips. Her once cherry flavoured lip gloss was replaced by a salty taste.
"How do you know it is love you feel?" asked Rachel finally breaking the silence.
"It just is. Love. There is no other way to describe how I feel. When you love someone you simply know instinctively that it is love and nothing you can say can make it go away because the feeling is so intense you want to keep feeling it forever-"
Rachel listened intently.
"One night I imagined a future moment in my life where all my dreams came true. I knew it was the greatest moment of my life and I thought if I could experience that moment with one person, who would it be? You Rachel, I'd want it to be you standing next to me.." Quinn swallowed nervously, "I wrote you letters that I knew I would never send.. I convinced myself it would make me feel better.. That's why I couldn't say goodbye. It felt like I was not only saying goodbye to you but also to my feelings, a possible future together and I'm not ready."
Rachel pulled back to get a better look at Quinn.
"You wrote me letters?"
Quinn slowly nodded.
The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet
"Can I read them?"
"Rachel.."
"They are my letters, Quinn. I want to read them."
"Rachel, it's not that easy. Everything I ever-"
"You're either in love with me Quinn or you're not"
"Are you saying I'm lying?"
Silence fell suffocating the air.
"Wouldn't be the first time."
"What's that suppose to mean?"
"I don't know you tell me. There was a time we became friends, then we weren't friends, then we were again or at least I thought we were. I could not keep up! Maybe this is one last game. Mission: Quinn Fabray break Rachel Berry on Graduation Day. Bravo Quinn I applaud you. You've won. You were quite convincing in fact," the glee club captain accused, although she knew the words leaving her mouth had no truth, but the thought of Quinn liking her terrified her.
"I cannot believe you! I-I," Quinn tried to explain. She tried, but couldn't speak through the fresh tears angrily streaming down her face.
Rachel's words tipped Quinn over the edge; she sprinted into the nearest cubicle. Skidded towards the toilet, throwing up the contents of her stomach. She hastily wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, resting her head on her knees in an attempt to calm herself down.
Completely panic-stricken Rachel slid down the cubicle floor wrapping her arms securely around the heaving girl. Hygiene forgotten.
"I'm so sorry Quinn. I didn't mean it," she exhaled holding Quinns shaking form in her tiny arms.
Quinn shut her eyes, adjusting to rest her head against Rachel's shoulder, desperately trying to memorise the moment. Being this close to Rachel was heartbreaking yet comforting all at once.
"Quinn," she whispered to the floppy blonde beneath her.
"Please. Just hold me for a while."
Rachel's heart broke, looking at the broken angel in her arms.
"Quinn.."
"Please. Just a little while longer."
Rachel nodded and complied.
"You smell like vanilla." choked Quinn wiping her pink cheeks with the brush of her fingers.
Rachel smiled and relaxed her head atop Quinns.
"Rachel-"
"Sssh."
"I am so sorry," Quinn whispered faintly after several minutes, "For everything," she continued, trying to concentrate on her breathing.
"I know," sighed Rachel, looking down at a puffy eyed Quinn. Her heart broke a little more; Quinn looked fairly distraught and guilty, "I know," she repeated slipping her hand into Quinns and lacing their fingers together.
Rachel kept a gentle grip on Quinn's hand as she leaned her head back against the cold cubicle wall, deliberately shutting her eyes.
"Tell me what you're thinking?" awkwardly asked Quinn, eager to know what the other girl was thinking.
"I.. I honestly don't know," Rachel replied, "Confused.. Infuriated"
"Infuriated?" Quinn blinked, her eyes were sore from all the crying.
"Yes. No. Maybe.. Not at you, maybe at you. I don't know. This is a lot to take in."
"I don't blame you. You should be infuriated with me," the broken ex cheerleader said mournfully, desperately trying to block out everything she had ever done to the girl who at present had her wrapped in a warm embrace. But the images kept racing through her mind like a realm of film.
"No.." Rachel replied softly.
"You don't hate me?" questioned Quinn looking up, surprised.
"I don't hate you. I could never hate you, Quinn," Rachel attempted with a watery smile behind her closed eyes.
I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the earth for you
To make you feel my love
Seconds turned into minutes. Rachel opened one eye to glance down at Quinn who was deep in thought and looked emotionally drained.
"I should go. The others will be wondering where I am."
"See you do hate me!" Quinn accused with reddened eyes.
Rachel shook her head. She slowly reached the back of her neck and slipped off her necklace. It was gold with a small Quaver pendant hanging from the middle. Glancing at it one last time she tenderly slipped the necklace around Quinn's dainty neck.
"This is goodbye, Quinn," she whispered before lightly pressing the gentlest of kisses against Quinn's forehead.
Quinn inhaled at the gesture while her eyes fluttered shut. She reveled in the feeling of Rachel's lips against her skin.
"Don't go. Stay here. With me."
Rachel frowned sadly. She lifted her thumbs to tenderly brush pale cheeks before scattering to her feet and flattening out her dress.
"Do you feel anything for me, Rachel?" softly asked Quinn, looking up at Rachel from the floor with hopeful hazel eyes.
Rachel was beside the cubicle door. She couldn't find it in herself to answer that question.
"This is my fault," said Quinn aloud. She had confessed more than she had ever done to anyone.
To make you feel my love
Gathering her strength Quinn ran out the bathroom catching sight of Rachels retreating form pacing down the deserted halls and further away from her.
"I am not going to give up on you Rachel Berry. I won't. I am going to make something of myself. Someone you could be proud of calling your own. And when I do I will be coming for you. Someday, I am going to make you mine," she informed Rachel clutching her new necklace with nothing but hope as her voice echoed off the walls.
"Don't make promises you can't keep, Fabray," countered Rachel, glancing behind at Quinn, one last time. Her voice was barely audible. Although, a smile was clear in her playful tone.
Rachel and Quinn studied each other cautiously. Each unsure what the other was thinking. Familiar yet unfamiliar pools paralysed Rachel into profound concentration. On the exterior she appeared in control yet her body was evidently constrained as she writhed under hazel eyes that'll make anyone promise them the world. Quinn was offering warmth from the moment they had locked sight and no doubt she was captivated.
Quinn remained poised. Never giving away her internal battle of profound desire as it started its delightful assault. Heat raced through her veins. The singer hoped she did not convey just how powerless she truly was, while white teeth slowly, grazed across her lower lip. A small smile escaped, lighting up rosy cheeks. Quinn feasted her eyes over every inch that came into view as Rachel steadily made her way over. From the instant their eyes met Quinn knew immediately that this was all or nothing.
The ex Cheerio always did have a certain charm that drew Rachel in. The petite diva was now fighting a torrent of emotions. She could feel Quinn follow her every step. The moment Rachel came to stand face-to-face with Quinn, every other face faded away and the world seemed like a quiet place. Tanned skin profusely coloured red, taking sight of black stilettos leading up to black skinny jeans and a white t-shirt with an imprint of New Yorks skyline, complementing its dressed figure. However, what made Rachel do a double take was the necklace she gave away several years ago.
"You look beautiful," breathed Quinn. "Rachel Berry are you blushing?"
"Its not everyday Quinn Fabray serenades you. You always were a good singer, occasionally sharp," stumbled Rachel, feeling her heart just once doing a double beat at the word beautiful.
"I never was good with advice. Can I offer you a sarcastic comment?"
Beaming, the petite diva shyly peeked down; staring at nothing on the floor searching for words, then back up to look at the taller girl.
"You really do look beautiful, Rachel."
"You look pretty, always were the prettiest girl I've ever met."
"You think I'm pretty.. You want to kiss me, you-"
"There isn't enough eye roll in the world for you right now."
"C'mon, you were thinking it."
"Is that what you want Quinn, to kiss me?" after seconds of silence, Rachel added, "Kinda impolite not to answer."
"Is this a test? Do I get a lifeline to call a friend?"
"C'mon tests make us better learners."
"There comes a time in life when a girl-"
Quinn was caught off guard, she felt a fist ball up and tug at her t-shirt. A nostalgic vanilla scent made it a sweet surrender. Rachel kissed her with such force that it made the blonde momentarily stumble. Involuntarily letting out the smallest whimper, expressed just how good their mouths moved together. Eyes closed, Quinn felt like she could get lost in this moment, forever. She always needed someone to show her who she could be, she needed Rachel. The feeling however ended the second Rachel pulled away.
"I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it." Rachel breathed out, her lips aligned with Quinns.
"At this point I should say that that's our girls girl, that is not how we do it here."
Quinn moved closer, pressing her forehead against Rachel's. They both giggled when they heard Santana interrupt to address the audience.
Rachel felt ruby painted lips tenderly kiss the corners of her coco-flavoured mouth. It was one single move. A really simple, tender move yet what it portrayed was intense for each girl. Long slender fingers delicately located the spine of her back and slowly traipsed up and down. The brunette vanished in the feeling. She moved to hide her face in the fold of Quinns neck, feeling the warmth radiate from Quinns body.
"After I left Lima, I was a mess. I felt sorry for myself, which is stupid because everything that happened in high school was only ever my fault. I.. I just shut down and threw myself into books and studies. I was so confused with everything and above all I was angry. Angry for so many things. Angry with myself for hurting you. Angry with myself that the possibility of never seeing you again was against me. Angry at everything. I refused to find any emotional attachment to anything, anymore. Or anyone for that matter. When I left, I left everyone and everything behind me. When I arrived at Yale I kept myself to myself. Having no contact was painful and I honestly did not know what to think. But it's what I thought I deserved. The longer I was away from everything that I identified with the more I hurt and as a result I distanced myself further. I felt like I had no closure, but I convinced myself that somehow you did."
"Quinn-"
"Please Rachel if I don't tell you this now I might not have enough strength to tell you later."
The softly spoken words were gently whispered into Rachels ear and she found herself slowly nodding.
"So I built walls to hide behind; pretty soon I was so well hidden I could not even recognise myself."
Rachel's eyes momentarily remained firmly shut as she felt arms daintily tighten around her waist. She could feel Quinns beating heart and the shape of impertinent breasts press against her front. The contact was causing wonderful tingling sensations.
"I made you a promise."
Quinn paused pulling back to let her eyes wander around the room. She took her bottom lip between her teethe. Eyes starting to water.
Rachels immediate action was to hold Quinn but she refrained.
"The only part of me that never changed was my feelings. I have honestly never stopped loving you."
Rachel distanced herself, shifting her sight away from Quinn, the blondes words echoed through her mind. Her heart had been in some way ruefully pulled out of her chest, then pushed back in. Silence and stolen glances with this honest version of a girl she knew long ago was foreign. She never let herself truly believe that Quinn Fabray was in love with her, yet she had waited for her. Quinns words of confession were both exhilarating and terrifying, all in one instant.
"I am sorry that you had to go through that Quinn."
Quinn took a deep intake of air as Rachel turned to fully face her with equally teary eyes. She was afraid of Rachels response. Words now out in the open she felt like she had nothing to lose and possibly everything to gain.
"For all the things I should have said that I never said, I'm sorry. For all the things we should have done that we never did, I'm sorry. For all the things I should have given you that I never gave, I'm sorry. But, I am here now, throwing myself at your mercy. I know it'll take time for you to trust me, trust us. But, I am willing, if you are willing, to try. I love you Rachel, so, so much. Give me a chance," Quinn admitted holding back tears "Please?"
"Probably at this point I should give you an accurate indication of what you're getting yourself into."
The glistening hazel eyed blonde stepped forward to stop Rachel but Rachel stood at her full height determined to finish what she wanted to say.
"I'm the kind of girl who cut herself on a scalpel in anatomy class during a safety lecture."
The Broadway star confessed making Quinn smirk, she then prepared herself to counter argue any reason Rachel gave her to walk away.
"I'm stubborn."
"Adorable."
"Jealous."
"Protective."
"Impatient."
"Passionate."
"I'm selfish."
"Did I mention, adorable?"
"At times insecure."
"I promise to tell you everyday just how beautiful you are. Tell you that I love you and remind you that you are the best thing in my life."
"I can get out of control and I have been told hard to handle at times."
"Rachel Barbra Berry, it's you, ever since the beginning it has always been you and whatever you say is not going to push me away. Before you, I never knew what it was like to be able to look at someone and smile for no reason. So stop talking and kiss me, again, already."
"You mustn't leave me, ever, please?"
"Never."
Quinn vowed, whilst opening her arms. Believing in something as good as this was no longer a dream. Rachel practically melted into Quinns embrace like a reciprocated hug was all she had longed for.
Cheek-to-cheek, nose-to-nose, Quinn leaned down to slowly capture Rachel in a tender kiss.
"Your lips better finish what your hands have started, Fabray."
Quinn groaned when Rachel broke away, the shorter girl walked backwards with speed pulling the blonde by her necklace, giving Quinn no choice but to follow Rachel towards the exit.
"If we leave now and catch the subway, it'll take fifteen minutes to get to my place. I have rehearsal early in the morning, which means we have 8 hours and 45 minutes to do whatever we want to do. Quinn, you okay?"
"No, I have the hot's for a nerd."
Kurt thanked his phone for having video record because there was no way anyone would believe him and what he had just witnessed. And then cursed because he had to find somewhere else to sleep for the night, his shared apartment with Rachel was definitely going to be a do-not-enter zone.