~ Chapter one ~
Sherlock is alone, at least for an hour. Moments like these are quite rare recently… There is always a case to solve and if not, John is always there. Yeah, Sherlock likes John: He is his best and only friend. But sometimes he wish he could be all alone with his thoughts, even though it's not always a good idea.
Sherlock climb the stairs up to the flat, bored, tired…Its one of those days when he's desperate to be normal, to stop all the ''Freaks'' and other words directed at him. Since younger age he has always worked on building himself a shell to keep him away from the comments, insults and feelings. He couldn't let it disturb his work. It has always worked. It's been a very long time since something had affected him deeply. And he still has the scars, permanently criss-crossed on his arms and ankles.
But even though he takes good care not letting it show, Sherlock is only human and every human breaks down once in a while… Sherlock is almost shaking when he open the door of the flat. It's been a long day and he knows that he won't be able to hold it in any longer. His pale eyes become watery as he thinks about his life in general. How can you expect someone to be perfectly happy repressing all his feelings…?
He is not a freak, nor a machine. And he has a heart… But with everyone constantly saying otherwise he is not sure anymore… At least there is John, so nice with him, so comprehensive. He is the only one who's never insulted him, he even took his defence. But since a couple of months John has changed in Sherlock mind, he has become more then a friend to him… But Sherlock knows that he need to forget that, if he don't it will only hurt him even more. John would never be attracted to Sherlock in that way….Never.
Sherlock wonders if his friend will ever let him down. It's his principal fear, he knows that he car about john more than john will ever care about him…He also know he wouldn't be able to survive it if it was to happen…