A/N: This is a one-shot song-fic of Cher's If I could Turn Back Time…I was listening to it, and thought it fit the characters slightly. Hope you like it :)
This is set in the beginning of season 6 and in this story BOOTH comes back from Afghanistan with someone else. She sees that things have evidently changed in their relationship. :)
If I could turn back time
If I could find a way I'd take back those words that hurt you and you'd stay
Brennan leisurely made her way back to her apartment. This wasn't what she had wanted. The look in his eyes… he was over her. It was so clear. He looked so happy with Andrea. She looked good on his arm, there was no denying that. Brennan wanted to claw her eyes out.
I don't know why I did the things I did I don't know why I said the things I said
Pride's like a knife it can cut deep inside
Words are like weapons they wound sometimes
She thought back on the past. Back to the night when he had asked her in the cold crisp night air in D.C, if she was willing to give a relationship a go, if she was ready to let him in. But she'd rejected him, plain and simple. She'd said no, and he had offered to move on. She knew that her choice was wrong, that fear and pride and belief had caused her to choose the path she had. Belief in something different than he, and so she had said it wouldn't work – COULDN'T work.
I didn't really mean to hurt you I didn't wanna see you go I know I made you cry, but baby
She almost contemplated calling him and begging him to come back and ask over again. Maybe she'd say yes this time, maybe they could make a go of a relationship. Maybe she could let him in. Let him love her. She could love him… couldn't she?
If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I'd take back those words that hurt you
And you'd stay
If I could reach the stars
I'd give them all to you
Then you'd love me, love me
Like you used to do
She could see that he had moved on. He had changed since his year in Afghanistan. His emotions now lay in the hands of someone else. His heart also belonged to her, to Andrea. The blonde woman that looked good on his arm. The woman who had smiled at her, and flicked her hair in that flirty way she did, making him smile and grip her tighter against him.
He had told her he missed her. Asked about her time in Indonesia and how she had liked it. She had responded vaguely, unable to see anything but the woman in his arms. He had walked away, laughing with an arm around her… Andrea… a name that would forever be associated with the pain that had struck the centre of her heart!
If I could turn back time
My world was shattered I was torn apart
Like someone took a knife and drove it deep in my heart
You walked out that door I swore that I didn't care
But I lost everything darling then and there
She had lost more than she had bargained for when she walked away from him. When she had left for the Maluku Islands, she had lost him in all senses of the word. She had gone to gain perspective. She had gone to rediscover herself, without him, and instead she had found that each day had brought her closer to saying the words "I love you" and when she had seen him, her heart had eradicated. She had been ready to give him all that he had previously asked for.
And now he didn't want it.
Too strong to tell you I was sorry
Too proud to tell you I was wrong
I know that I was blind, and ooh...
She felt like hell. It was like nothing else she had ever felt. It was like no other emotion she'd experienced. This was a new level of pain, of abandonment and she knew that this time, she had brought it on herself.
If I could turn back time If I could turn back time
If I could turn back time
If I could turn back time
ooh baby
If I could find a way
I'd take back those words that hurt you
If I could reach the stars
I'd give them all to you
Then you'd love me, love me
Like you used to do
She had no other choice. She had to follow his lead. She had to find a way to break apart her emotions, to feel nothing, instead of everything. To stop loving him now that she had allowed herself. And she would, determination had always been a part of her personality, and with enough will power she had always managed to pull through any situation.
Yes, she told herself, this would be no different. Only she didn't believe it, this time she felt herself falling still, and despite her determination to climb up, her energy had been drained. She was still falling and she wasn't sure this time, how to stop it.
If I could turn back time (turn back time)
If I could find a way (find a way)
Then baby, maybe, maybe
You'd stay
A one-shot! What did you think? I'm not so great at song-fic's so feedback would be great! :)