Last Requests
By: Teno Hikari
email: tenohikari@cs.com / teno_hikari@yahoo.com
* Disclaimers: blah, blah, they're not mine ... blah, blah, blah!
* Summary: Sequel (last one!) for 'Conjure Me'. Hisoka angsts after murdering Tsuzuki. The violet-eyed man comes back in his dreams and makes a request: 'I need you to kill me again.'
* Warning: implied yaoi (m/m) pairing between Tsuzuki and Muraki
********
Don't save me, don't lose me
Don't weight me down
If you love me, you'll release me
Let me drown.
-'Deep As You Go', by October Project
********
At first I was happy to finally have the upper hand against my murderer. Even as an Angel of Death, I wasn't mentally or physically strong enough to fight Muraki ... with my sixteen year old body I never would be. Killing the amethyst-eyed man, I had made my first successful blow against the man I hated so much.
I wish I could have seen his face when he returned home and saw his doll lying broken on the floor. I wanted to see his agony, see him break down when I took his most precious thing from him. The way he held his lover had made me jealous, how dare that devil be happy after all his heinous crimes?!
Muraki knew that I was responsible; for I had cursed his doll the way he had cursed me. However, I had changed the duration of the killing curse out of sympathy. I had made Tsuzuki's death short unlike mine which had lasted for three long agonizing years. Only Muraki himself did I want to inflict that kind of pain on.
The doctor was angry beyond words even though he had used none. On our last meeting he only glared at me, a promise he would make me suffer as long as he still existed in this world. He held true to this promise, for the rate of murder victims had increased greatly and with each corpse he left a bloody rose as his trademark. I tried not to feel at first, but soon guilt started to eat away at me ... for those murdered victims and even for Tsuzuki.
My sinful action had displeased Tatsumi and Konoe and suspended me from work. They would have fired me too if it hadn't been for the fact that Tsuzuki was a killer in his long life span. I still find it hard to believe how he managed to live for so long without aging, one of those unsolved mysteries I suppose.
As I stare at my reflection in the mirror, I no longer see myself. I see something else that isn't human. My image changes into something I don't like ... someone I hate with a passion. Muraki's mismatched eyes stare back at me and the glass breaks when I shatter the image ... along with the mirror. Blood is on my hands as I sink to the bathroom floor ... was it mine?
Tsuzuki Asato. I killed him. His blood is on my hands. Awful realization dawns when I learn of what I have become. A murderer ... a killer ... I had become the man I hated. I had become Muraki. A tortured sob escapes my throat as the wound heals but the blood remains. Dear God, what have I done?!
"Bon!"
I can hear Watari's voice in the next room. The bathroom door swings open and my partner stares at me with wide and worried eyes. I wonder how I look like sitting in the middle of shattered glass, wiping my hands frantically on my pajamas? I look up at him and hold up my blood stained hands. "It won't come off?" I whispered to him. "Why won't it come off?!"
"Oh, Hisoka," he murmurs and pulls me into an embrace. I can feel his hurt and his pity flow through me. Don't pity me! I'm a killer, a murderer, you should hate me! But Watari doesn't hate me as he pulls us out of the bathroom and leads me back to bed.
"I shouldn't be here...," I sob into his shoulder. "I don't deserve to exist anymore... I'm a murderer ... I killed a man not because I hated him ... not because he killed Terazuma and Wakaba ... I killed him ... I killed him ... because..."
"Because it would hurt Muraki," Watari whispers and strokes through my hair. "Hisoka ... you aren't like him."
"Yes, I am!" I shout, pushing him away from me. "I told Muraki he had no respect for human life ... and ... I killed..."
"Tsuzuki Asato wasn't human himself," Watari said quickly. "We don't know what he is ... was, but his actions were no different from Muraki's. He was a killer too, Hisoka, don't feel sorry for him."
"But I didn't have the right to take his life!" I really wish I could stop crying. I let Watari try and soothe me as I fell back against my bed and let my dreams be plagued with nightmares.
********
For the first time, the dream is different. Instead of that night of the full moon and sakura trees; I'm sitting in an out door cafe, the sun shines brightly and I can feel a cool sea breeze ruffle my hair. I am also not alone. The chair on the other side of the table where I'm sitting is occupied by a familiar young man dressed in black. I swallow a lump in my throat as his amethyst eyes meet mine.
Tsuzuki smiles. Unlike Muraki, the other man's smiles seem so real, as if he were truly happy to see me. When I fight for words to say, he takes a sip from a glass of ice tea in his hands and begins to eat at the piece of apple pie set on a plate in front of him.
"It really is delicious," he says then takes another bite. "You should try some."
Looking down in front of me, I see an identical slice of pie but turn my gaze back to the killer who was halfway done with his. He truly is enjoying his dessert and he ... looks really cute eating with a smile on his face. Oh God, am I blushing?! Tsuzuki stops eating and opens his eyes to look at me.
"Something wrong, Hisoka?" he asks in a friendly voice.
"Yes," I mumble, clutching my head. "Everything is wrong. Why am I dreaming of you?! Aren't you mad at me?!"
Tsuzuki blinks and stirs his ice tea around with a straw, ice cubes make gentle tinkling noises as they knock against the glass. "Why should I be?"
"Well, I did kill you!" my tone is hysterical but no one in the cafe seems to hear. Tsuzuki is unfazed by this and continued to stir his drink. "Are you dense or something?!" I shout even louder. "You're dead! I killed you!"
"Yes, I know," he says quietly. Oddly enough, the soft tone of his voice calms me down as he finally releases the straw. "But I don't hate you. Therefor you shouldn't hate yourself."
"Why?" my voice is barely audible and my hands tremble as they lay on my lap. "Why don't you hate me?"
"I should have died a long time ago," he leans back into his chair and stares up at the clear blue sky. "No matter how much I wanted to, death would not claim me. Why don't I hate you? You only took me out of a world where I had no attachments to ... there are certain things I miss dearly like Kazutaka and eating ... but nothing lasts forever ... not even me."
"Tsuzuki," I can't help but whisper his name as he sits back up to look at me.
"You aren't like him, Hisoka," his voice and expression is gentle, and I can't help wonder if he had been an angel once. "You regret killing me even though I deserved it. Kazutaka would never have such sentiments, he is to far gone. But someday he'll begin to appreciate the value of human life."
"His number of victims have gotten larger," I inform him. "I doubt he'll ever stop killing."
"Nothing is forever. Hisoka ... there's something I need to ask of you," Tsuzuki then took the last bite of his pie then wiped his mouth with the napkin on his lap.
I blink, "What?"
"I need you to kill me again."
********
Days later after the dream, I was still confused with Tsuzuki's request. Kill him again? But he was dead ... maybe it really was just a dream I conjured up. Or so I thought ... as soon as I was back to work, Watari and I were assigned to a murder case in Kyoto. We had only one solid lead: the silver hair of the killer ... Muraki.
It wasn't long before I alone met up with the doctor himself. My scars had felt on fire when we met again ... the moon was red and full and it reminded me of the night I died. A bloody corpse lay at his feet and blood stained his white clothing. I didn't remember blacking out at all but as soon as I woke up, I wished I hadn't.
Strapped and stripped to an operating table, I shivered to see the mad doctor's mismatched eyes look at me with a mix of hatred and ... happiness? Maybe he was happy he could torture me. His cold hand caressed my face and I winced as it made my scars scream in pain.
"I'm glad you came, boy," he smiled, I hate his smile. "It took me months of work and planning, but it all pays off tonight."
"Muraki," I hiss and decide to buy some time. "What are you scheming now?"
"You took something from me," the smile melted from his face and his eyes narrow in anger. "And only you can give it back."
"What are you talking about?!" I bite back the scream as my scars send waves of agony up and down my body. He lets me suffer for a few more minutes before he makes a gesture with his right hand. I follow it and gasp.
"Tsu... Tsuzuki?!"
The naked body of Tsuzuki Asato lay in a bed of red roses inside what looked to be a opened glass coffin. The body had been very well preserved ... in fact it looked like Tsuzuki was only sleeping except his skin was deathly pale. My eyes widen as I finally realize what Tsuzuki had meant in the dream.
[ "I need you to kill me again." ]
Muraki smiled lovingly at his doll and ran his fingers through the dark hair before leaning down and kissing those cold and unmoving lips. I found it sickening to watch the doctor caress his lover's corpse and turned my head to the side. My heart was beating frantically against my chest, what was he planning?
Muraki finally returned to my side and placed his hand against my heart and I could feel his emotions ... hate ... desire for his doll ... and hope? I look up at him and he smiles evilly down at me. Slowly, he leans down and presses his ear against my chest and I shiver.
"Nervous, boy?" he asks. "Your heart is beating so fast. Try to relax, it will all be over soon."
"What...?" I gasp as he pulls away.
"You put a death curse on my Tsuzuki," he said coldly. "Like I had on you. But even if you are Shinigami, your black magic is nowhere compared to mine. Also, as you know my beautiful doll can't die so easily..."
"I don't understand," I whisper as I glance at the corpse across from me. Muraki turned back to Tsuzuki as well and gently picked the body up, cradling it before laying him beside me on the wide operating table... "what are you trying to do?"
"My Tsuzuki," the doctor smiled as he once again trailed a hand down the other's throat. "Is not human, therefor he cannot die a normal death. From my grandfather's preserved samples, I learned that Tsuzuki Asato has demon blood within him."
Demon blood ... so that's how he lived for such a long time? It made sense when Watari and fought against the fourth demon lord who could live eternally within a human. But ... what was Muraki planning? What did it have to do with me?
"It's simple really," Muraki then went over to the counter where he began to rinse surgery equipment. Oh God. "I will just replace his heart with yours: the heart of a Shinigami. He'll awaken and live once more, but I can't say the same for you."
Oh, God ... Tsuzuki! He's so close, I just need to... I strain my arm, not caring if the cuff bit into my wrist. He was so close, I just needed to touch him and maybe ... my fingers brush against his arm. Just a little bit more ... and my fingers clamp around his wrist.
'Tsuzuki!'
I only had less than minute before Muraki turned around to see what I was doing. My grip increases and I squeeze my eyes shut. 'Please hear me, I need your help ... please!'
'Hi... Hisoka?'
'Yes!' I could hear his voice in my head, he sounded so tired. I can also hear Muraki turn the faucet off and I dig my nails into the pale skin.'He's going to kill me to bring you back! How can I stop him!'
"Get your hands off my him," Muraki's cold and demanding voice makes me shudder.
'Tsuzuki!'
'Hisoka, let me borrow your powers for a moment... I need to talk to him.'
'What do I have to do?'
"I said," Muraki picked up the scalpel and held it to my exposed throat. "Get your hands off him, or I..."
"Kazutaka..."
The scalpel clatters to the floor and I opened my eyes and turn my head to see that Tsuzuki's violet eyes were opened as well. His skin still felt cold under my touch, a touch Muraki had forgotten as he was instantly at his doll's side.
"Tsuzuki!" the doctor said breathlessly, holding the man close to his chest. "Asato, you're alive!"
"No, I'm not," Tsuzuki's voice is as low as whisper. He was speaking out our telepathic connection not his vocal cords. In reality, Tsuzuki was still dead but his eyes were open and Muraki nearly wept with joy.
"You will be soon," the doctor murmured, stroking his lover's pale cheek. "I promise we'll be together forever, I ..."
"No," the violet-eyed man interrupted. "That cannot be."
"Asato?" the doctor blinked, not understanding.
"I love you Kazutaka," he said in a strained voice. "And if you truly love me ... you'll let me go."
"Asato?!"
I didn't think it was possible for Muraki to cry, but he was now ... he almost sounded ... human. Muraki held the body tighter to his chest, his good eye burned with tears. "No," the doctor sobbed. "This can't be ... you can't want this! Asato ... why?"
"I finally realized how precious life is," Tsuzuki said calmly even though he sounded like he was trying to avoid his own tears. "Death is apart of life ... it gives life meaning. If I ever meant anything to you ... you'll stop this. I want you to live your life, Kazutaka ... truly live. I don't want you to forget me, but I do want you to move on ..."
It was quiet for several minutes and I bit my bottom lip, hoping Muraki would be convinced to do Tsuzuki's bidding. Guilt nagged at me as Tsuzuki's words repeated in my mind. Death had truly changed him ... changed all three of us.
"I don't want to be alone," the doctor swallowed a sob in his throat. "I don't want to live life without you."
"I'm always with you, Kazutaka," the voice was shaking with tears, even though those violet eyes spilled none. "In your heart, and in your memories is where I will live eternally."
"Asato," the doctor was shaking. "I never had the chance to say I love you when you were alive, but I always have..."
"And you always will," Tsuzuki's eyes began to fall shut. "Please Kazutaka, let me go. Let Hisoka go and stop this bloodshed ... please ..."
With that those violet eyes fell shut for the last time and the wrist I had been holding falls limply out of my grip. Muraki is crying now, still holding the body close to his. The cuffs around my bound limbs are opened and I realize I'm free to go.
"Your clothes are in the dresser near door," Muraki's voice is hollow as he cradles Tsuzuki against his shaking form. His fingers are trembling as he strokes through the dark hair of his lover. "Please ... go."
I dress quickly but before I leave I walk up to the crying older man and place a hand on his shoulder. He flinches but does not pull away and I swallow hard and choose my words carefully. "For what you've done to me, ... I ... I forgive you."
He says nothing and I make my way to the door. Was it finally over? Would Muraki really stop killing for Tsuzuki? As I was about to open the door, the doctor's voice calls out to me.
"Boy... Hisoka," he says shakily. "I'm sorry."
Unable to trust myself for words, I leave. It was finally over.
********
Ten years go by quickly, or maybe I just don't realize it because I can no longer age. In reality, I'm almost thirty and I can't help but wonder how I would look like if I hadn't died. Pushing useless thoughts aside, I look over across the table to see Tsuzuki smiling as always and eating.
"It's been awhile, ne?" he says, popping in another piece of apple pie into his mouth. Yes, he really does look cute when he's happy. "How have you been?"
"Annoyed," I answer as I pop the tab off a soda can. "My partner is constantly trying to use me for his experiments, I'm already dead but still..."
As the years go by, I find myself dreaming about Tsuzuki every other month or so. It was odd at first but I actually began to like talking to him, he tells me that Tsubaki-hime sends her love and he would let her come with him next time. It had surprised me how he only visits me and not Muraki, but Tsuzuki has his reasons and was happy to know his Kazutaka was now married and had a child.
"So how does he look like?"
"Just like his father ... er, without the creepy eye," I smile. "Little Asato wants to be a doctor just like him. He's constantly hanging from my waist whenever I visit."
Tsuzuki laughs, "His godfather Oriya must be so jealous!"
Time passes and I can feel dawn approach. Tsuzuki rises from his chair and stands beside me. "I know I thanked you already, but I am grateful for all you've done. I'm sure it wasn't easy to forgive Kazutaka... but ... Thank you."
"Tsuzuki ..." his face was so close to mine that I couldn't help but blush crimson.
"You know Hisoka," his smile becomes even more cheerful, if possible. "In another world I think we would have made great friends."
Unconsciously, I nod and slowly the corners of my mouth start to turn into a smile. Tsuzuki walks away and fades from my dream as I wake. Slowly I rise out of bed and head towards the window to push back the curtains, letting the morning light enter my dark bedroom.
"Yes, I think so too," I murmur to myself. "In another world."
* owari *
[ Author's Note ]
::Uses towel to wipe all the sappy drama off:: Well, what did you think? Was Hisoka's point of view believable?
By: Teno Hikari
email: tenohikari@cs.com / teno_hikari@yahoo.com
* Disclaimers: blah, blah, they're not mine ... blah, blah, blah!
* Summary: Sequel (last one!) for 'Conjure Me'. Hisoka angsts after murdering Tsuzuki. The violet-eyed man comes back in his dreams and makes a request: 'I need you to kill me again.'
* Warning: implied yaoi (m/m) pairing between Tsuzuki and Muraki
********
Don't save me, don't lose me
Don't weight me down
If you love me, you'll release me
Let me drown.
-'Deep As You Go', by October Project
********
At first I was happy to finally have the upper hand against my murderer. Even as an Angel of Death, I wasn't mentally or physically strong enough to fight Muraki ... with my sixteen year old body I never would be. Killing the amethyst-eyed man, I had made my first successful blow against the man I hated so much.
I wish I could have seen his face when he returned home and saw his doll lying broken on the floor. I wanted to see his agony, see him break down when I took his most precious thing from him. The way he held his lover had made me jealous, how dare that devil be happy after all his heinous crimes?!
Muraki knew that I was responsible; for I had cursed his doll the way he had cursed me. However, I had changed the duration of the killing curse out of sympathy. I had made Tsuzuki's death short unlike mine which had lasted for three long agonizing years. Only Muraki himself did I want to inflict that kind of pain on.
The doctor was angry beyond words even though he had used none. On our last meeting he only glared at me, a promise he would make me suffer as long as he still existed in this world. He held true to this promise, for the rate of murder victims had increased greatly and with each corpse he left a bloody rose as his trademark. I tried not to feel at first, but soon guilt started to eat away at me ... for those murdered victims and even for Tsuzuki.
My sinful action had displeased Tatsumi and Konoe and suspended me from work. They would have fired me too if it hadn't been for the fact that Tsuzuki was a killer in his long life span. I still find it hard to believe how he managed to live for so long without aging, one of those unsolved mysteries I suppose.
As I stare at my reflection in the mirror, I no longer see myself. I see something else that isn't human. My image changes into something I don't like ... someone I hate with a passion. Muraki's mismatched eyes stare back at me and the glass breaks when I shatter the image ... along with the mirror. Blood is on my hands as I sink to the bathroom floor ... was it mine?
Tsuzuki Asato. I killed him. His blood is on my hands. Awful realization dawns when I learn of what I have become. A murderer ... a killer ... I had become the man I hated. I had become Muraki. A tortured sob escapes my throat as the wound heals but the blood remains. Dear God, what have I done?!
"Bon!"
I can hear Watari's voice in the next room. The bathroom door swings open and my partner stares at me with wide and worried eyes. I wonder how I look like sitting in the middle of shattered glass, wiping my hands frantically on my pajamas? I look up at him and hold up my blood stained hands. "It won't come off?" I whispered to him. "Why won't it come off?!"
"Oh, Hisoka," he murmurs and pulls me into an embrace. I can feel his hurt and his pity flow through me. Don't pity me! I'm a killer, a murderer, you should hate me! But Watari doesn't hate me as he pulls us out of the bathroom and leads me back to bed.
"I shouldn't be here...," I sob into his shoulder. "I don't deserve to exist anymore... I'm a murderer ... I killed a man not because I hated him ... not because he killed Terazuma and Wakaba ... I killed him ... I killed him ... because..."
"Because it would hurt Muraki," Watari whispers and strokes through my hair. "Hisoka ... you aren't like him."
"Yes, I am!" I shout, pushing him away from me. "I told Muraki he had no respect for human life ... and ... I killed..."
"Tsuzuki Asato wasn't human himself," Watari said quickly. "We don't know what he is ... was, but his actions were no different from Muraki's. He was a killer too, Hisoka, don't feel sorry for him."
"But I didn't have the right to take his life!" I really wish I could stop crying. I let Watari try and soothe me as I fell back against my bed and let my dreams be plagued with nightmares.
********
For the first time, the dream is different. Instead of that night of the full moon and sakura trees; I'm sitting in an out door cafe, the sun shines brightly and I can feel a cool sea breeze ruffle my hair. I am also not alone. The chair on the other side of the table where I'm sitting is occupied by a familiar young man dressed in black. I swallow a lump in my throat as his amethyst eyes meet mine.
Tsuzuki smiles. Unlike Muraki, the other man's smiles seem so real, as if he were truly happy to see me. When I fight for words to say, he takes a sip from a glass of ice tea in his hands and begins to eat at the piece of apple pie set on a plate in front of him.
"It really is delicious," he says then takes another bite. "You should try some."
Looking down in front of me, I see an identical slice of pie but turn my gaze back to the killer who was halfway done with his. He truly is enjoying his dessert and he ... looks really cute eating with a smile on his face. Oh God, am I blushing?! Tsuzuki stops eating and opens his eyes to look at me.
"Something wrong, Hisoka?" he asks in a friendly voice.
"Yes," I mumble, clutching my head. "Everything is wrong. Why am I dreaming of you?! Aren't you mad at me?!"
Tsuzuki blinks and stirs his ice tea around with a straw, ice cubes make gentle tinkling noises as they knock against the glass. "Why should I be?"
"Well, I did kill you!" my tone is hysterical but no one in the cafe seems to hear. Tsuzuki is unfazed by this and continued to stir his drink. "Are you dense or something?!" I shout even louder. "You're dead! I killed you!"
"Yes, I know," he says quietly. Oddly enough, the soft tone of his voice calms me down as he finally releases the straw. "But I don't hate you. Therefor you shouldn't hate yourself."
"Why?" my voice is barely audible and my hands tremble as they lay on my lap. "Why don't you hate me?"
"I should have died a long time ago," he leans back into his chair and stares up at the clear blue sky. "No matter how much I wanted to, death would not claim me. Why don't I hate you? You only took me out of a world where I had no attachments to ... there are certain things I miss dearly like Kazutaka and eating ... but nothing lasts forever ... not even me."
"Tsuzuki," I can't help but whisper his name as he sits back up to look at me.
"You aren't like him, Hisoka," his voice and expression is gentle, and I can't help wonder if he had been an angel once. "You regret killing me even though I deserved it. Kazutaka would never have such sentiments, he is to far gone. But someday he'll begin to appreciate the value of human life."
"His number of victims have gotten larger," I inform him. "I doubt he'll ever stop killing."
"Nothing is forever. Hisoka ... there's something I need to ask of you," Tsuzuki then took the last bite of his pie then wiped his mouth with the napkin on his lap.
I blink, "What?"
"I need you to kill me again."
********
Days later after the dream, I was still confused with Tsuzuki's request. Kill him again? But he was dead ... maybe it really was just a dream I conjured up. Or so I thought ... as soon as I was back to work, Watari and I were assigned to a murder case in Kyoto. We had only one solid lead: the silver hair of the killer ... Muraki.
It wasn't long before I alone met up with the doctor himself. My scars had felt on fire when we met again ... the moon was red and full and it reminded me of the night I died. A bloody corpse lay at his feet and blood stained his white clothing. I didn't remember blacking out at all but as soon as I woke up, I wished I hadn't.
Strapped and stripped to an operating table, I shivered to see the mad doctor's mismatched eyes look at me with a mix of hatred and ... happiness? Maybe he was happy he could torture me. His cold hand caressed my face and I winced as it made my scars scream in pain.
"I'm glad you came, boy," he smiled, I hate his smile. "It took me months of work and planning, but it all pays off tonight."
"Muraki," I hiss and decide to buy some time. "What are you scheming now?"
"You took something from me," the smile melted from his face and his eyes narrow in anger. "And only you can give it back."
"What are you talking about?!" I bite back the scream as my scars send waves of agony up and down my body. He lets me suffer for a few more minutes before he makes a gesture with his right hand. I follow it and gasp.
"Tsu... Tsuzuki?!"
The naked body of Tsuzuki Asato lay in a bed of red roses inside what looked to be a opened glass coffin. The body had been very well preserved ... in fact it looked like Tsuzuki was only sleeping except his skin was deathly pale. My eyes widen as I finally realize what Tsuzuki had meant in the dream.
[ "I need you to kill me again." ]
Muraki smiled lovingly at his doll and ran his fingers through the dark hair before leaning down and kissing those cold and unmoving lips. I found it sickening to watch the doctor caress his lover's corpse and turned my head to the side. My heart was beating frantically against my chest, what was he planning?
Muraki finally returned to my side and placed his hand against my heart and I could feel his emotions ... hate ... desire for his doll ... and hope? I look up at him and he smiles evilly down at me. Slowly, he leans down and presses his ear against my chest and I shiver.
"Nervous, boy?" he asks. "Your heart is beating so fast. Try to relax, it will all be over soon."
"What...?" I gasp as he pulls away.
"You put a death curse on my Tsuzuki," he said coldly. "Like I had on you. But even if you are Shinigami, your black magic is nowhere compared to mine. Also, as you know my beautiful doll can't die so easily..."
"I don't understand," I whisper as I glance at the corpse across from me. Muraki turned back to Tsuzuki as well and gently picked the body up, cradling it before laying him beside me on the wide operating table... "what are you trying to do?"
"My Tsuzuki," the doctor smiled as he once again trailed a hand down the other's throat. "Is not human, therefor he cannot die a normal death. From my grandfather's preserved samples, I learned that Tsuzuki Asato has demon blood within him."
Demon blood ... so that's how he lived for such a long time? It made sense when Watari and fought against the fourth demon lord who could live eternally within a human. But ... what was Muraki planning? What did it have to do with me?
"It's simple really," Muraki then went over to the counter where he began to rinse surgery equipment. Oh God. "I will just replace his heart with yours: the heart of a Shinigami. He'll awaken and live once more, but I can't say the same for you."
Oh, God ... Tsuzuki! He's so close, I just need to... I strain my arm, not caring if the cuff bit into my wrist. He was so close, I just needed to touch him and maybe ... my fingers brush against his arm. Just a little bit more ... and my fingers clamp around his wrist.
'Tsuzuki!'
I only had less than minute before Muraki turned around to see what I was doing. My grip increases and I squeeze my eyes shut. 'Please hear me, I need your help ... please!'
'Hi... Hisoka?'
'Yes!' I could hear his voice in my head, he sounded so tired. I can also hear Muraki turn the faucet off and I dig my nails into the pale skin.'He's going to kill me to bring you back! How can I stop him!'
"Get your hands off my him," Muraki's cold and demanding voice makes me shudder.
'Tsuzuki!'
'Hisoka, let me borrow your powers for a moment... I need to talk to him.'
'What do I have to do?'
"I said," Muraki picked up the scalpel and held it to my exposed throat. "Get your hands off him, or I..."
"Kazutaka..."
The scalpel clatters to the floor and I opened my eyes and turn my head to see that Tsuzuki's violet eyes were opened as well. His skin still felt cold under my touch, a touch Muraki had forgotten as he was instantly at his doll's side.
"Tsuzuki!" the doctor said breathlessly, holding the man close to his chest. "Asato, you're alive!"
"No, I'm not," Tsuzuki's voice is as low as whisper. He was speaking out our telepathic connection not his vocal cords. In reality, Tsuzuki was still dead but his eyes were open and Muraki nearly wept with joy.
"You will be soon," the doctor murmured, stroking his lover's pale cheek. "I promise we'll be together forever, I ..."
"No," the violet-eyed man interrupted. "That cannot be."
"Asato?" the doctor blinked, not understanding.
"I love you Kazutaka," he said in a strained voice. "And if you truly love me ... you'll let me go."
"Asato?!"
I didn't think it was possible for Muraki to cry, but he was now ... he almost sounded ... human. Muraki held the body tighter to his chest, his good eye burned with tears. "No," the doctor sobbed. "This can't be ... you can't want this! Asato ... why?"
"I finally realized how precious life is," Tsuzuki said calmly even though he sounded like he was trying to avoid his own tears. "Death is apart of life ... it gives life meaning. If I ever meant anything to you ... you'll stop this. I want you to live your life, Kazutaka ... truly live. I don't want you to forget me, but I do want you to move on ..."
It was quiet for several minutes and I bit my bottom lip, hoping Muraki would be convinced to do Tsuzuki's bidding. Guilt nagged at me as Tsuzuki's words repeated in my mind. Death had truly changed him ... changed all three of us.
"I don't want to be alone," the doctor swallowed a sob in his throat. "I don't want to live life without you."
"I'm always with you, Kazutaka," the voice was shaking with tears, even though those violet eyes spilled none. "In your heart, and in your memories is where I will live eternally."
"Asato," the doctor was shaking. "I never had the chance to say I love you when you were alive, but I always have..."
"And you always will," Tsuzuki's eyes began to fall shut. "Please Kazutaka, let me go. Let Hisoka go and stop this bloodshed ... please ..."
With that those violet eyes fell shut for the last time and the wrist I had been holding falls limply out of my grip. Muraki is crying now, still holding the body close to his. The cuffs around my bound limbs are opened and I realize I'm free to go.
"Your clothes are in the dresser near door," Muraki's voice is hollow as he cradles Tsuzuki against his shaking form. His fingers are trembling as he strokes through the dark hair of his lover. "Please ... go."
I dress quickly but before I leave I walk up to the crying older man and place a hand on his shoulder. He flinches but does not pull away and I swallow hard and choose my words carefully. "For what you've done to me, ... I ... I forgive you."
He says nothing and I make my way to the door. Was it finally over? Would Muraki really stop killing for Tsuzuki? As I was about to open the door, the doctor's voice calls out to me.
"Boy... Hisoka," he says shakily. "I'm sorry."
Unable to trust myself for words, I leave. It was finally over.
********
Ten years go by quickly, or maybe I just don't realize it because I can no longer age. In reality, I'm almost thirty and I can't help but wonder how I would look like if I hadn't died. Pushing useless thoughts aside, I look over across the table to see Tsuzuki smiling as always and eating.
"It's been awhile, ne?" he says, popping in another piece of apple pie into his mouth. Yes, he really does look cute when he's happy. "How have you been?"
"Annoyed," I answer as I pop the tab off a soda can. "My partner is constantly trying to use me for his experiments, I'm already dead but still..."
As the years go by, I find myself dreaming about Tsuzuki every other month or so. It was odd at first but I actually began to like talking to him, he tells me that Tsubaki-hime sends her love and he would let her come with him next time. It had surprised me how he only visits me and not Muraki, but Tsuzuki has his reasons and was happy to know his Kazutaka was now married and had a child.
"So how does he look like?"
"Just like his father ... er, without the creepy eye," I smile. "Little Asato wants to be a doctor just like him. He's constantly hanging from my waist whenever I visit."
Tsuzuki laughs, "His godfather Oriya must be so jealous!"
Time passes and I can feel dawn approach. Tsuzuki rises from his chair and stands beside me. "I know I thanked you already, but I am grateful for all you've done. I'm sure it wasn't easy to forgive Kazutaka... but ... Thank you."
"Tsuzuki ..." his face was so close to mine that I couldn't help but blush crimson.
"You know Hisoka," his smile becomes even more cheerful, if possible. "In another world I think we would have made great friends."
Unconsciously, I nod and slowly the corners of my mouth start to turn into a smile. Tsuzuki walks away and fades from my dream as I wake. Slowly I rise out of bed and head towards the window to push back the curtains, letting the morning light enter my dark bedroom.
"Yes, I think so too," I murmur to myself. "In another world."
* owari *
[ Author's Note ]
::Uses towel to wipe all the sappy drama off:: Well, what did you think? Was Hisoka's point of view believable?