Stop Camping You Noob!
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Darth Nihilus was currently on the bridge of his ship the Ravager, playing Modern Warfare 2 matchmaking. He was currently playing free-for-all against the Exile, Revan, Canderous and Bastila. All of the sudden, Nihilus shouted into his mike "Exile, stop camping you noob!" and it was true, the Exile was holed up in a random building with a shotgun and was camping at the only entrance, their were no windows. Nihilus had been killed about eight times by him.
Meanwhile, Visas was in her chambers meditating when she sensed her master's anger and stood, wondering what Nihilus was distressed about. Walking out of her chambers, she walked through the corridors until she reached the elevator and shot up to the bridge. When the doors opened she immediately understood what Nihilus was so angry about. Nihilus was hunched over his controller, playing Modern Warfare 2 and shouting into his mike to the Exile to "Stop camping you noob!" discarded pizza boxes and candy bar wrappers were thrown around the bridge, some hanging off the consoles or sticking to the walls…somehow. Nearly a dozen coffee cups littered around Nihilus, some still dripping coffee into a still growing puddle.
Nihilus had discarded his mask, leaving his poorly looked after dreadlocks which had grown down to his lower back and weren't kept up in their normal ponytail, was that gum in his hair? Stepping cautiously across the bridge as she was bare foot and didn't want something to stick to the sole of her foot, she finally reached Nihilus and looked at his face. She sighed at his dilated eyes and smeared canned cheese on his lips and cheeks. His robes were covered in soda and pixie dust candy. He didn't even acknowledge her like he usually did; just stayed focused on the game like he apparently had been for the past three weeks.
She waved a hand in front of is face and elicited no reaction. She tried saying his name a few times but nothing worked. Finally she physically slapped him across the cheek hard enough to knock him over and made him shout in surprise. He righted almost immediately and turned to Visas, eyes smoldering. "Visas, what the hell was that for?"
"Because," she snapped, "Do you know how long you were holed up in here for?"
"I've only been in here for a few hours!" Nihilus replied with some hesitance.
"Nihilus," Visas said with disbelief, "you've been here for longer than three weeks." Nihilus' brown skin seemed to pale slightly as he processed this information. On his TV his character died again but he didn't seem to notice.
"Three weeks," he winced and looked up sheepishly at Visas who had her hands on her hips, "I may have, uh, lost track of time." He chuckled nervously. "Nihilus, why were you on so long?" Visas asked.
"Well I started free-free-all with the Exile, Revan, Canderous, and Bastila and I always lost so I just became obsessed with winning, but I didn't mean to! The Exile keeps camping like a little noob!" Nihilus suddenly looked at Visas and perked up as if he'd gotten an idea, "Visas," he asked carefully, "Do you know how to play multiplayer?"
"Oh no, there is no way your roping me up into this game of yours to."
"Come on, please Visas, atleast this way I won't become obsessed again."
"Until you become obsessed again," Visas said.
"Then you can slap me all you want, please Visas?" Visas looked at Nihilus' pleading eyes and sighed, "Fine." Nihilus smiled greatly.
"Really Visas you will?" Visas nodded Nihilus and scooted closer to Visas as she sat down. He explained the basics of the game before attempting to stand and immediately falling down in a heap, he managed to stand the second time and stretched, grinning sheepishly. "Uh, I think I'll go take a shower, haven't had one in three weeks after all." He then turned and stumbled toward the elevator. When he was gone Visas turned and shook her head, honestly what was so appealing about video games? She turned a corner and saw who she presumed to be Revan by his gamer tag "The Amnesiac" and fired, killing him. She smiled slightly as she enjoyed a small blossom of victory in her gut.
Suddenly she was taken by surprise and killed by Bastila, and she felt herself grow more competitive and respawned and played, and played, and played, and played…
When Nihilus returned now freshly groomed, he stopped when he saw that Visas was playing like a master, her character was killing people like crazy and she had one of his discarded pizza boxes next to her and was eating a slice. Nihilus watched for a little and smiled fondly, wordlessly turning and closing the door. Once the door was closed he reached into his robe's pockets and took out his COM and ordered another few pizzas, this was going to be a fun night.