"Mr. T?" Mrs. Lovett inquired, knocking on the door to the barber shop. The knocking was less of an observation of propriety and more a quick warning, as she knocked at the exact same time she entered. Mr. Todd was, as usual, standing at his window, staring out.
"Do you think you could run down to the shops for me?" Mrs. Lovett asked, coming up beside him, "I'd do it meself, but there's so much work to be done, so many clothes to be washed, so much meat to be ground up – and there just aren't enough hours in the day. I was hoping you could maybe help out a bit. I wrote up a list and everything. What do you say?"
Mr. Todd didn't respond.
"You'll do it, won't you?"
Mr. Todd didn't respond.
"Mr. T? Hello? Can you hear me?"
Mr. Todd didn't respond.
"Mr. T, you answer me this instant or, so help me, I will wash all your pants until they shrink to Toby's size."
Mr. Todd turned his head to her. "No," he said simply, and then turned back to the window.
Having expected this, Mrs. Lovett, sighing, launched into Plan B. "Well, if that's your final decision, I guess I'll just go down and start on the washing. There's so much of it. You go through shirts something awful, and me red stripey dress is in need of a good soak and scrub, and I just don't have the time to wash 'em separately," she said, beginning to turn away. She glanced back over her shoulder as she said, "But don't worry yourself, love, I'm sure you'll still look very fine slashing throats in pink shirts."
"I'm sure I will," Mr. Todd replied, not turning from the window.
Mrs. Lovett frowned, and tried another tactic, "Oh, and, by the by, Toby was wondering if he could help out up here more often, so I took the liberty of telling him he could help later today. He seems to have taken quite an interest in barbering."
"It is a profitable trade," Mr. Todd said, still not turning.
Mrs. Lovett scowled. She was forced to her last resort. She walked back over to Mr. Todd and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder and melting into him like a lovesick little girl. "On second thought, maybe we should both stay up here," she said, fluttering her eyes at him, "It is a lovely view."
Needless to say, Mr. Todd ended up taking the grocery list and walking out of the shop, mumbling something about the 'benefits of fresh air.'
So, there was my first attempt at a funny Sweeney Todd fic. Was it alright? Or did it crash and burn? Should I write more? Or should I give up hope and leave the poor project in peace?
~BrilliantlyMadSparrow