The Undead of Night Part 1

Dipper and Mabel Pines, 15-year old twins, are riding on a bus from California to Oregon. When you're a teenager, all you ever want to do is play video games and watch movies. So, Dipper and Mabel's parents shipped them off to Gravity Falls, Oregon, because that was all they were ever doing.

"Hey Dipper, now that we're finally having a summer away from home, maybe I can finally have an epic summer romance." Mabel said happily. "Then I make new friends, talk to little animals, and have a..."

Dipper covers Mabel's mouth and says, "Choose what you want to do and stick with it."

Dipper was a brave teenager who likes to read mystery novels, and wears a long-sleeved shirt to hide his muscles for times when he doesn't need to show off. Mabel is an optimistic teenager who likes boys, sleepovers, pigs, etc. At least she's not a sweater bitch, right?

Anyway, the bus comes to grinding halt, and Dipper and Mabel step off the bus with their suitcases. They walk up to the Mystery Shack, the home of their Great Uncle Stanford Pines, who turned it into a tourist trap. Dipper rings the doorbell and waits patiently while Mabel jumps up and down like a impatient little child.

"Mabel, you're 15-years old. grow u- OW!" Dipper said, the door opening and hitting his forehead.

"Oh, sorry about that, kid." said an old man, probably in his 70s, wearing a fez. "Hi, I'm Mr. Mystery. Do you like to be befuddled and bewildered?"

"I like mystery novels, if that's what you're asking."

"Mystery novels? Oh, you're my great niece and nephew, are ya? Come in, come come." Stan opens the door for Dipper and Mabel, and they step inside. The shack is old, and has a gift shop in it. "Welcome to my humble home. Here you'll find attractions I used to scam people into paying me money."

"Like this goo on the ground?" Dipper asked, pointing to a mud stain on the floor. He moves his finger across it, and gives it a taste. He spits it out immediately. "Yuck! Taste like mud."

"It is mud. Someone was in here with muddy shoes." Stan said. Dipper wipes his tongue off with his fingers. From the cash register, laughter can be heard. Dipper looks up to see a red-haired girl with a green-flannel and a lumberjack hat.

"Dude, that is so funny. I've never seen anyone that crazy to taste mud." she said.

"Laugh all you want, lady. From where I come from, I'm considered to be quite buff." Dipper said.

"Really?" asked the girl.

Dipper picks her up like a princess and says, "Yup. I don't think my parents were in any way noodle. By the way, the name's Dipper Pines."

"Wendy Corduroy, and wow, you are strong." Wendy said, feeling Dipper's arms.

"Oh. My. God! Love is in the air! EEK!" Mabel squealed. "Dipper, are you thinking about kissing her, holding her, or..."

"Whoa whoa, slow down, sis! We just met." Dipper said. "Why don't you go talk to the pale person with the black hood-jacket? He looks like he likes you."

"Ooh! Thanks for pointing him out!" Mabel said, now running towards the guy with the hood-jacket.

"Anyway, you said that you have muscles, kid?" Stan asked. "That's good, because I got a job for you. I need you to hang these signs in the deepest darkest part of the woods."

"Boring. I rather just sit around and watch Mabel humiliate herself in front of that guy over there." Dipper said.

"If you do, maybe I'll give you 20 dollars if you find something mysterious out there."

"In that case, sold!" Dipper said excitedly, dropping Wendy back-first on the floor.

"OW! Hey!" she said angrily.

"Sorry about that, babe. Gotta go! Bye!" Dipper runs out the door with a bunch of signs in his arms.

"Geez, what a dick." Wendy said annoyed.

Meanwhile, Mabel is flirting with the hood-jacket guy.

"My name is Mabel, but you can call me 'the girl of your dreams'. I'M JOKING!" she said laughing. "So, what your name?"

"Uh, Norm...man. Norman. I like to hang out with girls who don't find me terrifying and disgusting." Norman said.

"Don't worry. I find you to be dark and mysterious. Like a goth kid, or a zombie. Not that you are a zombie, 'cause there's no such thing as zombies."

"I don't know, some people who have gone into the woods always feel like they're being watched. In fact, this guy with a red long-sleeved shirt just ran out into it with a bunch of signs."

"That's my big brother, Dipper. He can take care of himself. He's 15, like me. Course, he's about 5 millimeters taller than me."

"Right. So you wanna go...hold hands in the graveyard or something?"

"Oh yes I do! Don't wait up!" Mabel pulls Norman out the door.

Wendy, and another employee named Soos, who is fat and lovable, watch in bewilderment.

"Hey Soos, ever get the feeling that those two are in for a lot of trouble?" Wendy asked.

"Nope. They should be fine. After all, teenagers are really good at taking care of themselves." Soos said.

"I don't know. Maybe we should go find Dipper." Wendy pulls Soos out the door into the woods.

"What about work? KIDS!?" Stan shouted. "I'd fire them if I could."

Out in the woods, Dipper is hanging up the signs on the trees, which point straight to the Mystery Shack.

Dipper notices how dark it is and says, "Is it nighttime already? I didn't even notice." He pulls out a flashlight from his jacket, and turns it on. He tries to nail another sign onto a tree, but it makes a cling sound. He bangs on the tree again with his hammer in curiousness, and goes to the other side of the tree to find a switch with which he pulls. Behind him, a secret floor panel opens and he looks inside to find a book with a number 3 on a six-fingered hand.

"What's this?" he asked himself, picking up the book. He flips through the pages and stops at a page about zombies. "Zombies are known for their pale skin and bad attitudes and are often mistaken for teenagers. The only way to kill them is to shine a light on them. Eh, that's a whole bunch of bullshit."

"Dipper! Over here!" Wendy shouted, running towards Dipper with Soos in tow.

"Oh, hey Wendy and, whoever you are. I was just reading this crazy book I found and- Why do I feel something pulling on my leg?"

"Dude! LOOK!" Soos shouted pointing at Dipper's leg. They look down and scream at fright at the bloody hand that came out of the ground.

End of chapter. Personally, I think teenager Dipper should be clueless, weird, and idiotic. No offense to Dipper fanatics. Until next time. Ciao.