It's never too late for a Christmas miracle
Here I am with a post ep for 8x11, too. This story is independent from the 8x10 one, although it has McDanno kiss (es) and fluff, and they do become a couple, sooo (you can say I'm a sucker for romantics, yes, go ahead). It took me a while to write it, because my muse was bouncing back and forth, but in the end we came to an agreement and it is as it is. Hope y'all like it.
Feedback is greatly appreciated.
Enjoy.
…
"Please can you tell me why you are really here?" Danny said as he grabbed the top cookie and took a bite off of it. The very cookie he claimed Steve touched just seconds ago.
"I told you, Danny, I needed some cookies."
"Steven…"
Steve was impressed at his best, but he knew Danny was just teasing him when he said he tainted the cookie with his finger. And he definitely knew Steve didn't come to his house just for cookies.
Steve sighed and drank the last of the milk washing away the taste of cookies in his mouth. Flinging the stray cookie crumbs off his pants - his sleeping pants, Steve looked in his lap as if he was seeing the garment for the first time tonight, and fixed his eyes to the Christmas tree and the hanging stockings.
One of them had his name on it.
Steve couldn't help but smile at the memory of a Christmas few years ago that comes to mind. The Christmas that he committed a crime against Mother Nature with cutting one of her trees and Danny paying the fine for it later (Danny's comment about the only victim to the crime strapped on the roof of his car still hilarious when Steve listens to its echo from time to time).
That year so many things happened that Steve somehow knows those same things shaped them in a little bit of an angry, snappy men. But the worry and the love were present. In every stolen moment.
Steve thought of the deep shit that they have gotten themselves in, throughout the years, yet, they were here, where they were today, thanks for being here for each other.
Danny observed Steve silently for the whole time Steve had the trip down memory lane. He noticed the multiple changes on Steve's face - smile, confusion, realization, so many things.
"Babe?"
"I was... I am worried, Danno. I'm worried about you."
"Oh, Steve, you don't have to worry. I'm okay." But then as Danny spoke he winced when the sudden movement pulled the stitches in his wounds.
"You sure?"
"Yeah." Danny gasped. "It's just, I moved all of a sudden and the stitches... I'm good."
"If you say so, Danny. I... I'm kinda having these moments when I'm home and I think of what I had to do... And what would I do if you didn't make it." Steve couldn't bring himself to continue with what he wanted to say, already revealing too much in one go.
But, Danny understood. He always did, God bless him.
"I wish you didn't have to do that, Steve. I know you must be feeling pretty awful you had to... cut me open and stick a finger inside me." Danny cringed at the last part.
"I wouldn't have done it any differently. Anything to keep you alive. And safe."
"Oh, Steve..." Danny reached for Steve's hand and squeezed it.
"I'm here. And I'm alive. Thank you. Thousand times thank you. I'm here having this conversation with you, thanks to your speed and knowledge. I wouldn't have it any other way. Capisce?"
Steve nodded.
"Would you mind if I nap? The story telling kinda exhausted me and I still have to place the presents under the Christmas tree..."
Steve looked a bit embarrassed. And a little bit adorable. Like he got caught with his hands in the cookie jar. Well, it was the plate for Santa Claus, but, whatever...
"What did you do, Steven?"
"I, um, kinda put the presents while you were tucking Charlie in. Added my presents in the mix."
Danny's eyes crinkled at the corners and he launched himself at Steve. Awkwardly hugging the guy that tried to play octopus even seated, he forgot about his insecurities, fears, nightmares and wounds. Steve was here and this seemingly small gesture made his heart sing.
When they both pulled out of the hug, Danny wiped a tear off Steve's cheek before kissing him there. It was an affectionate and loving kiss.
A kiss that burned Steve's cheek long after Danny placed his head in Steve's lap, his breathing even, a clear sign he was out for the count. It was a long time since Danny displayed such open emotions, that what happened few moments ago, left Steve utterly confused.
...
Steve had some time alone to think about the recent events. On the boat and in quarantine. Danny was a constant in his life since day one, the day they met, but recently, Steve noticed he acknowledged more the feelings he thought he buried long ago.
And he was probably gonna bury them furthermore. Because he wasn't gonna jump his partner, and put him in an awkward situation. And for Christmas, nonetheless.
No, Steve was gonna swallow his feelings and continue like his world wasn't falling down on top of his head every time Danny was hurt or wasn't around.
He managed just fine so far. And he'd indulge in the small moments. Like this one that he just had for himself. Danny napping, head in his lap, a very exhausted Danny, if Steve was being honest with himself. And Danny that for the first time in many didn't push Steve's buttons with nagging him. Instead letting go very easily.
Steve bathed in the soft moment.
Until he heard footsteps behind him, that is.
…
Charlie padded softly to the living room where he could see someone was sitting on the couch but his Danno wasn't around. He looked on the clock and it was close to 3 a.m. so it would be safe to check if Santa got in their home through the chimney.
But, he was greeted with his Uncle Steve. And his Danno was sleeping, his head on Uncle Steve's legs. He must be tired, Charlie concluded and decided to go back to his room before anyone noticed him.
Leave it to his Super SEAL Uncle to figure it out when a soft "Charlie" halted him in his tracks.
"Hey, buddy, what you are doing up so early? You are supposed to be sleeping."
"I wanted to see if Santa got through the chimney safe. Uncle Adam said he fixed everything, but..." Charlie bit his lip in that manner Danny always did.
Just how did they miss the signs? He was Danny's through and through.
Steve came up with a plan.
"Look, Charlie, can you help Uncle Steve with something?"
"Yeah."
"When Uncle Steve got here earlier, he accidentally ate the cookies for Santa... And he drank his milk." Steve made an extra effort to look sheepish and embarrassed and he smiled inwardly when mini Danny giggled at his antics.
"So, if you can take this plate and fill it with cookies and refill the glass with milk, we'll be in time to wait for Santa to come."
Charlie was eager to help and did as Steve told. Steve observed the man that currently was sprawled on the couch and had him effectively pinned, and smiled at him.
When Charlie came back Steve instructed him to leave the cookies and milk in their original position. Charlie did as he was told and Steve complimented him.
"Good job, buddy. Now back to bed before Santa is here."
"But what about you, Uncle Steve? Aren't you gonna wait for Santa, too? In your room?" The kid pointed to the guest room, where Steve stayed most times when he was at Danny's place.
"Um... I'm kinda stuck here, buddy. I think I'm gonna stay with Danno, to make sure he's sleeping and does not wake up before Santa's here. Don't tell him I said that, but he can scare the man off, and we don't want that, do we?"
"We don't."
"Night, buddy."
But, Charlie didn't move from the stop. He bit at his lip again.
"Charlie? Something wrong?"
"Noooo." Charlie drawled.
"You know you can tell me anything, Charlie, right?"
"Yeah."
"So?"
"You're gonna guard Danno's dreams?"
Steve was confused by Charlie's question.
"Yes, buddy, I will. Why?"
"Because he has bad dreams. And I don't want him to. Because he cries when he has bad dreams. I don't like to see Danno cry."
The innocent, raw and childlike statement stabbed Steve right through the heart.
How could he let that happen? How could he let Danny live through the hell he was obviously living in the last couple of weeks?
Steve could not understand why Danny was not letting him in on whatever he was feeling. They will have to talk more about it, Steve was determined about it.
"I will guard Danno's dreams, Charlie. Promise."
"Thank you, Uncle Steve. You are my hero."
Steve fought the tears. He really did. Steve hugged Charlie one-sided and placed a kiss on top of his head.
"Sleep tight, buddy."
"Good night, Uncle Steve."
When Steve heard that Charlie closed the door of his room, he let his tears fall, while carding his fingers through Danny's hair. He had to reassure himself that Danny was alive, here and safe.
Danny felt the tears fall in his hair and one drop hit his eyelid. His eyes fluttered open and he could hear someone's harsh breathing and cut-off sobs. He realized that someone was Steve.
Danny reached with one of his hands to wipe the tears off Steve's cheek. The look that passed through Steve's eyes was a cross over deer in the headlights look and a scared wild animal ready to bolt.
"Babe, hey, shhh, it's okay. I'm okay, Steve. It's okay. Why are you crying?"
"Danno..." Steve sniffed while he tried to control his breathing. "I know we talked about this, but why didn't you? Why didn't you tell me about the nightmares before?"
Steve bit his tongue before he blurted that Charlie told him about Danny crying at night after having a nightmare. Danny didn't need that right now.
"It wasn't something that hasn't happened before."
"No, Danny. There is something else. I know it."
Danny sighed and seemed to sink further into Steve's lap, rubbing his face on Steve's thigh.
"I... I didn't want to bother you."
"What? What is that?"
"I didn't want to bother you, babe. You already had to worry about me twice in the span of a week. I didn't want to give you another thing you could possibly think of as a thing to be fixed."
"Danny, I'd never think of you like that."
"Yeah, okay."
Danny sighed, heavily and Steve had the feeling Danny was holding something inside. And Steve was determined to get to the bottom of things.
"What are we doing to ourselves, Danny?"
"I don't follow you."
"Why are we like this?"
"Like what?"
"Are you that dumb, Danny?"
"Am I that dumb...? What?"
"You know exactly what, Daniel!" Steve snaps and he is seconds from decking Danny.
"Hush, you Neanderthal. You are gonna wake up Charlie."
Steve stopped at those words and looked at Danny that now removed his head from Steve's lap and resumed his previous seated position.
"Why are you shying away from me, Danny?"
"I'm not..."
"Yes, you are." Came the accusatory voice from his partner. "Just when I think you are going to leap the rest of the path, you move few steps back. And when you see it this way, you are stuck in the middle, not sure if you should go forward or backward."
Danny didn't say anything, but he knew Steve was right.
"You almost kissed me. When they pulled us on shore, before we were taken to the hospital. I know you think I don't remember, but I do. So, what are you going to say, Danny?"
"I'm not sure what do you want me to say, Steve."
Steve huffed a frustrated breath and looked like he wanted to punch Danny. So much for self-control.
"Listen, I know why you are doing this. You are insecure. You don't want to repeat the mistake you made with Rachel. You don't want to get hurt, I get it. But, it's obvious we're both feeling the same, so why not move to the next step?"
"Because of my propensity to blow up relationships and being a giant negative black hole?"
"Danny, you know I didn't mean it like that..."
Danny raised a hand to stop Steve. "You were right. I am those things."
"Danny..."
"No, Steve. I am. Because all I can see is the end. Because the same happened with Rachel, with Gaby, with Melissa. And the same will happen with you, if I indulge myself."
"But why?"
"Because you have a ticking bomb inside you, that's why!" Danny's voice was suspiciously wet. "Because... because you have this radiation poisoning, Steve. That can turn into a cancer at any given moment. You are good now, but who guarantees me that you won't be worse tomorrow? Given the things that have happened so far, if I let myself hope that we can be together. If we actually get together... It will all go downhill. I know. I also know that my mind supplied me with a wonderful future for the two of us, but reality... Reality, Steve. It's harsh." Danny ended his rant with a sigh.
Steve didn't realize Danny was having these thoughts. They were founded, but still, Danny saw always the worst case scenario.
"I don't want to lose you, Steve. If I do... There's nothing left for me. I'm too fucking in love with you to go on with my life if you leave me, too."
Danny's statement descended on them like a dark cloud and for a few moments both men didn't speak. Steve broke the silence.
"Even if we have one more day left, I prefer to spend it with you. Together. Like a couple. Even if it's an hour. It would be better than to regret why I didn't make a move when I could. So, what do you say, buddy? Are you ready to take that leap with me?"
"I keep dreaming of it. That I'll be so relaxed and when I least expect it, it will get to me. And then you are gone. I have nightmares, Steve. And, I..."
"We'll get through it. I have nightmares, too. The last thing I wanna do is to leave you, Danny. You know I'll never do it willingly. Please, just think of it."
Danny looked at Steve. Those sparkling blue-green orbs held so many emotions, brimming with tears. And at that moment something snapped in Danny's heart and the reservation he had inside disappeared, giving space to hope and love to overtake the wheel.
"I'm ready."
Steve looked hopeful, almost like a child that got the best Christmas present.
"I'm ready to take that leap with you."
In the split of the second Danny was pulled in a needy and so much awaited kiss. Steve cupped Danny's cheeks and wouldn't let go for the world. His lips danced slowly over Danny's, full of promise and love.
"Love you, you goof." Danny whispered against Steve's kiss-swollen lips, resting his forehead against Steve's.
"I love you, too, Danno."
Steve pulled Danny to him while simultaneously snatching a blanket from behind the couch and wrapped the two of them in it.
"Wait a second, Steve." Danny's quite voice reached Steve's ears and the huffs of breath tickled his neck. "How, did you know about my nightmares?"
"Go to sleep, Danno." Steve effectively shushed Danny with a kiss on his temple.
Within minutes Steve heard the soft snores that meant Danny was asleep once again.
Steve used that opportunity to message Grace (that spent her Christmas with Rachel), to come at Danny's in the morning if she could, because he wanted to surprise Danny.
The second message was for Junior (and if it said to bring Tani and Eddie with him, Steve squinted twice over that fact).
The third message went to his sister. Mary Ann and Joanie were still in his house. Steve kinda felt bad for leaving them behind, but needs must.
*Hey, Mare, you asleep?*
*Look who's talking. I'm up now. What's up?*
*Can you come over at Danny's in a few hours?*
*Sure bro. We'll be there. All good?*
Steve smiled at the question and typed a fast answer.
When Mary received the message she almost woke up Joanie because of how loud she squealed.
...
Charlie and Gracie were helping Steve in the kitchen to make Danny pancakes ("Danno makes them best, but he needs his beauty sleep", Charlie reasoned, while Steve and Grace laughed). Steve smiled at the excitement with which Charlie bounced back and forth and how Grace handled him. For a moment she was back the 8 year old Steve saw throwing herself in her Santa Danno's arms.
Speaking of the De-Santa, he was still sound asleep on the couch. Steve was worried because of the wounds. He was sure Danny didn't take it as light as he should. And Danny was probably exhausted and the only way his body coped through was sleep.
"Okay. Gracie and Charlie, you put the pancakes in plates, put it on the table together with the blueberries and maple syrup. I'll go and wake Danno."
The kids obliged while Steve padded softly and crouched in front of the couch.
Danny's position resembled the one Steve remembered from years ago when Danny was crashing on his couch. He looked cute with mouth slightly open, and sleep mussed hair.
Steve couldn't resist and ran his fingers through Danny's hair, removing few strands that have fallen over his eyes.
"Wake up, Sleeping Beauty. Come on, time for breakfast."
Danny stirred, but refused to open his eyes.
Steve leaned and pecked him on the cheek. Danny stirred some more, but stubbornly held his ground.
Steve was not gonna give up, and in the next moment he kissed Danny on the lips. Danny's eyes flew open and a smile graced his face as Steve chuckled.
"I should have known a peck on the cheek won't be enough."
"What can I say, babe. I'm in need for attention from my prince."
They didn't notice their observers that high-fived in the background.
...
After enjoying a family breakfast and they all took turns to open the presents, the doorbell rang. Before Danny even had a chance to get up off the floor, Steve was on his feet and opening the door.
The house was flooded by people. Mary and Joanie, Tani and Junior and greeting all with a loud bark was Eddie, that wore reindeer ears on a band over his head.
"What's this?" Danny asked baffled, not expecting so many people in his house for Christmas.
"I called them. Thought that you could use the company."
Danny's eyes shone with tears and he stomped on his need to tackle the goof to the floor and thank him properly.
Steve pulled him in a tight hug. "Merry Christmas, Danno. I love you. We all do."
"Thank you. For everything." Danny pulled out of the hug and wiped a lone tear before he beamed at Steve.
"Don't even mention it. What do you think, should we tell them?"
Danny mulled over the idea for a few moments. "I think we should do it over New Year's. Let us enjoy it for a bit by ourselves, huh?"
"Good idea. Not sure if I can keep my hands to myself tho, while I'm around you, Danno."
"Well, you are lucky I have couple of more weeks of house arrest."
"I can come and save you from being bored all the time. Maybe even save you from the torture that Charlie and Grace will make you go through."
"My hero." Danny piped, sneaking a kiss before they were discovered by the others.
Steve tightened the grip he had on Danny's shoulders as they watched the kids tackling Eddie and the rookies sneaking secret looks between them.
Danny was right. This was their moment to enjoy, and they were going to take everything as it was.
…