To be her Hero
Beth couldn't help herself. Whenever she turned to place another clean plate into the large prison kitchen cupboard her gaze brushed the table on the far left corner of the large dining room. It was a dreary room build not for families to enjoy a peaceful meal together, like the dining room in her old home had been. Instead of an old wooden table covered in little scratches and stains that told a story about all the craft projects and homework that had been done on the surface, this dining room hold nothing but cold metal tables and benches that had been fixated to the floor. The people eating here weren't supposed to enjoy themselves.
Today at least one corner of the room was filled with the delightful giggles of a sweet toddler. Little Judith Grimes was born in a world full of deprivations and pain but thankfully she didn't know that jet. She never get used to having tons of toys or playgrounds and therefore she didn't miss a thing. The little girl enjoyed the attention of the only loving family she knew and treasured everything that was given to her with the excitement only a toddler could have, even if it was just a stack of stupid old plastic cups.
Currently her delight was elicited by the man who was whirling her through the air like she was a stuffed animal. Beth couldn't help but wince whenever the delicate little body was thrown into the air but Judith doesn't seem to be scared at all because she was raised with the knowledge that there would always be a pair of big strong hands ready to catch her.
Beth couldn't help the small flutter in her stomach as her eyes followed those strong hands up where they ended in impressive muscles and finally a familiar face surrounded by too long wild brown hair and beard. She doesn't need to be told that those blue eyes have seen more pain then anyone should have but today they were shining with pure joy as they were fixed on the giggling baby in front of him.
She knew that she had a crush on Daryl Dixon the moment she hugged him after he came to tell her about Zach's death. She felt ashamed because how sick was it to fell in love with the man who just told you that your current boyfriend had been killed just hours before? She really tried not to but the moment his strong arms wrapped themselves around her small waist and her nose got the first drag of the manly and strangely calming smell that hid in the crook of his neck she was gone.
Since then she couldn't stop noticing even the smallest things about the silent hunter whenever he came into her sight. She noticed how he took almost every night shift even after he just returned from a long and dangerous run. The only free time he allowed himself was usually spend either training a few of the newcomers, making decisions in the counsel together with her daddy or enjoying a few quiet minutes with baby Judith, who by now must be mistaking the man for her dad since her real father was still avoiding her like the plaque.
All in all you could say that Daryl Dixon was one of the best man she ever got to know. He seemed to dedicate all his live for the benefit of others and whenever someone offered him any gratitude for his hard work he acted almost embarrassed and shy what made him even more attractive in her eyes.
Maggie used to tease her with the fact that Beth always wanted a man that was just like her daddy. Her sister was right. Beth had the honor to be raised by a man who valued virtues like honesty, hard work and helpfulness and she knew that no man she had ever met combined those values like Daryl Dixon did.
The brief contact with his brother had shown her another side of him and she wasn't stupid, she knew that he hasn't always been like that. The memories from their arrival at the farm and the few stories Glenn or Carol told about him from before painted a totally different picture of him. But the moment she witnessed the forceful feelings he had shown towards Carol's daughter Sophia she knew that he had it in him all the time and she was glad that he was finally able to show this side of him and live up to the man he always should be.
"Earth to Beth. I think that is the driest plate I have ever seen in my life!" Beth jumped a little when a soft voice pulled her from her daydream and her gaze finally parted from the man with the baby and whipped back to Carol who was looking at her with a wide grin and a knowing twinkle in her eyes. Her face immediately started to burn like a kid that was caught with a hand in the cookie jar.
"You know I think I can do the rest on my own. Why don't you take Judith out for a little walk? I think the sun will be good for her. Take Daryl with you just in case." More blood flew into her head and she felt a little dizzy as she started to stammer an excuse about how Daryl is very busy and surely didn't have time to… As Carol interrupted her with yelling "Hey Pookie! Beth wants to take Judith out for a little walk. Be a gentleman and escort the ladies just to be sure nothing happens to them. A little rest in the sun will surely don't harm you as well."
As his sharp gaze lifted from Judith and instantly fixed on her Beth really felt like fainting. She forced herself not to avert her eyes. To her his intense stare felt like if he was trying to take her measurements. Finally he snorted and turned to Carol "Don't need no rest." Carol just answered with a stern look and her arms pressed into her hips. "Well did this sound like a question to you?" The two of them had a stare down which ended with Daryl slowly raising from his seat.
Beth really admired her bravery but she almost feared that Carol had pushed him too far and they were now in for one of his sudden outbreaks. Without a word the man just walked over to them and pushed Judith into her arms as he passed by on his way to the door. Beth felt instant sadness washing over her as she thought he was leaving but then he stopped at the door and slightly turned to her mumbling a "Coming?" over his shoulder before he moved on without waiting for her.
Her heart made a little jump as she hurried to the door avoiding the mischievous look Carol was sending her way.
She had to jog to catch up with him witch elicited another joyful giggle from Judith who enjoyed the bouncy movements. Finally Daryl stopped on the edge of the first gate that separated the secured yard from the small passage to the second fence where walkers where trying to push their rotten fingers through the mesh wire in their desperate attempt to reach the living.
"You want us to go out there?" Beth asked him as she was able to catch her breath and she couldn't really mask the nervous pitch of her voice as she instinctively pressed Judith a little closer to her body. Daryl turned and again seemed to measure her with his wandering gaze. "Need to clean the perimeter before they break through. Figured that since Carol won't let me in anytime soon I might do something useful with the time."
Again her chest felt a little bit heavy. "Oh… I thought you would walk with Judith and… me." Again he was looking her up and down. "Don't think you need a babysitter for babysitting do yah?" He asked her with his gruff voice and Beth felt heat burning in her cheeks.
She just gave him a stern look for an answer before she turned with a swift motion ready to stride away. She didn't need him to see how his words had hurt her. She looked up to him with so much admiration and though she knew that he probably didn't see her in the same way she hoped he would at least respect her and not just think of her as the teenage babysitter.
Suddenly a strong hand encircled her delicate wrist and hold her back firmly. She yelped in pain because of his tight grip and as she turned again anger was simmering in her eyes. "Let me go" she demanded through clenched teeth. Judith made an unhappy noise as she felt the buildup tension between the two adults. Instantly Daryl's hand dropped as if he was burned.
He watched her through the fringe of his eyes and suddenly he seemed a little bit unsure and not at all like the cocky bastard, he displayed just a second before. "M sorry Beth. Didn't want to anger yah. Do yah… maybe want to come with me? I make it quick."
Beth took a deep breath as it was now her turn to study his expression to make sure that he wasn't making fun of her. He was still watching her trough the veil of his hair and his eyes had almost a pleading kind of expression. She then turned a worried look to the fence where she could hear the distant groaning of the walkers.
"Don't worry. I won't let nothing happen to yah. You are safe with me." He almost whispered and the way he was looking at her now made her tows curl in her cowboy boots. Before she knew what she was doing she nodded her head and followed him to the gate.
Daryl's mind felt clouded as he walked in front of her through the gate, grabbing one of the heavy metal poles waiting at the entrance. As he started smashing the metal into the heads of the first row of walkers he asked himself why he had taken her here. He could just let her storm off or maybe take her to a safer place beneath the shadow of one of the spare trees where they could sit together, let Judith play in the grass and even talk a little if he could find the right words. He could almost feel her uneasiness burning in his back and with every suppressed sound of horror that escaped her throat his heart sunk even more.
While Beth had helped with cleaning the fence when they first arrived at the prison her main tasks swiftly shifted to taking care of Judith after the dramatic circumstances of her birth. He didn't think that this was a light task because he knew that lil asskicker could be a handful especially at night when he saw Beth walking the perimeter trying to sooth the crying baby in her arms so everyone else could rest.
Having Beth next to the dirty hands and clapping teeth that wanted nothing more than to soil her brightness made him sick. It felt just wrong because this world wasn't made for people like Beth Greene. It was made for dirty old rednecks like himself that had no business to even talk to girls like her.
As he took a second to watch her from the corner of his eyes he noticed that while Beth's smooth face was cringing with every wet splash of his pole hitting the brain of a walker, Judith was busy chewing on a blonde lock of Beth's hair totally unimpressed with the horror happening around her.
"Wonder what it will be like for her being raised in this hot mess." He mumbled more to himself then to Beth but he instantly noticed how Beth's posture relaxed a little, thankful for the distraction he had offered. Deep in thoughts she looked down onto the little girl in her arms. "I wonder about that too. I almost don't dare to say this out loud given what happened with her mom and everything but sometimes I envy her for the fact that she will be raised to survive in this world."
The statement made him wrinkle his forehead in wonder and he had to stop his work to turn and look at her. "What do you mean by that?" As she stared back at him her face was like an open book and he could see the display of the different emotions wandering through her at the moment.
Beth gave a humorless lough before she explained: "Well I think you might have noticed that I'm not really any help out here. I know they aren't people anymore but still I hate to kill them. I just can't get used to the smell and the constant noises and being splattered with body fluids I better not think about." She gave him a careful look as if she expected him to lash out on her for her confession.
As he didn't say anything in return she took a deep breath before she continued: "I am glad that Judith will be more adapted to this world. Sometimes I feel almost pathetic. For how I lay in my bed at night and pray and wish for this all to be a bad dream and I will wake up in my clean bed, in my safe home with all my family... with Patricia and Otis, my brother and…. my mom." Her voice broke as the last word and the slight quiver of her bottom lip made him want to drop the pole and just pull her into him. Thankfully he was able to fight the urge because the last thing she needed now was dealing with the advances of a creepy old man.
He could hear her sniffle. "I'm sorry. You have enough on your plate without me whining about what cannot be changed." She apologized to him and as he couldn't stand the sad look on her face anymore he turned around and continued with smashing walker heads.
Since they were both caught in their thoughts they didn't notice the little pit that had formed under one part of the fence and the rotten hand that now reached beneath it, grabbed Beth's right ankle and pulled her down. Beth yelped loudly and Judith made a scarred sound as both dropped and Beth tried to turn and fall on her back so the toddler would be shielded by her body. All the air was pressed out of her lungs as she smashed into the dirty ground and Judith was now crying forcefully.
Daryl spun around and his heart tried to leap out of his chest as he felt panic rise within him. Without thinking he pulled his large hunting knife from his belt and cut the arm off. The greyish fingers still hold onto Beth's ankle for one horrific second but then the hand fell down and Beth was free.
Beth took a second to calm her breath and will her heart to slow down before Judith's cries broke into her head and she instantly started to rock back and for to sooth the little girl. She knew that the loud sounds might call unwanted attention. Thankfully Judith wasn't hurt and after Beth started to hum quietly into her ear the cries ebbed down.
"Fuck Beth! Do you want me to get a heart attack?" Daryl spit out but as she looked up to him she saw nothing but utter panic in his gaze and maybe a little guilt. Carefully Beth started to get back to her feet and instantly she felt a soft hand on her back and arm guiding her. As she stood she found herself so close to the hunter that their chest would be touching if it wasn't for Judith between them.
"Are you okay?" he asked now with a voice soft as silk and all Beth could do was nod as she got lost into the stormy sea of his eyes. He hold her gaze for a moment before he finally stepped back to reach down and fetch the gap in the fence.
As they reached the other end of the passage Daryl opened the gate and signed for her to go first. He put down the pole and stretched his sour muscles above his head not noticing the hidden gaze that scanned his arms for a second.
"Yah wanna sit down at the trees for a lil while? Lil asskicker might want to crawl a bit." He offered before he could stop himself. Why had he just said that? Clearly she could think of better things to do than sit around with him. Beth just gave him a curious look but then a little smile formed on her lips as she let him lead her to one of the trees on the edge of the yard.
As they set down beneath the shadow of the branches the young woman placed the toddler down and Judith instantly started to crawl around pulling all the grass she could reach while quietly babbling to herself.
Beth watched her with a soft smile on her face totally forgetting the man beside her before he fought his way back into her thoughts with a cough. As she turned to look at him she noticed the slightly nervous movement of his fingers as he toyed with the soft grass as well.
"Yah know I think you shouldn't be too hard on yourself. It is good that Judith has someone who can tell her about all the nice things the old world had to offer. Maybe some of us are diving a little bit too eagerly into this world. For some it is the first time in their lives that they could put the skills they were taunted for in the old world to good use. The first time they don't feel like just taking too much space."
She didn't have to answer that because they both knew he was talking about himself. Before she knew what she was doing she reached her hand out to cover his and stop him from pulling the grass. It was just like the day she had hugged him. She just felt like it was the right thing to do at this moment. Instantly his head shot up and his steel blue eyes fixed on her.
"Thank you Daryl. I don't know if we tell you that often enough but we are so blessed to have you here with us. We would all be long starved or dead if it wasn't for you. You are the most important person within this place and I hope you know how highly everyone thinks of you. My daddy never gets tired of telling me what a good man you are." She hadn't even blinked once as she was telling him what she had to say because she wanted him to believe her.
Daryl just shrugged like she had expected him to but she could still make out a soft change in his eyes. "Just doing what has to be done. Don't think of me like some kind of saint or something. I have done enough bad things in my life that I can never even start to pay back." He turned his head away from her but he didn't move his hand beneath hers and the realization that the man who barked at everyone who tried to touch him didn't want her to break the contact she was offering made her heart flutter a little.
Beth didn't answer immediately. She looked at Judith who was currently exploring a small pink flower with an uncharacteristically soft touch and a fascinated expression in her innocent blue eyes.
"I don't think anything I could say can convince you otherwise but please believe me that knowing you are watching over me is the only thing that lets me sleep peacefully at night." She almost whispered still looking at Judith as she didn't dare to turn her head to him. Daryl didn't give an answer to that and she hadn't expected him too. He never was a man of big words and she didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable.
As she felt the soft wiggle of his fingers beneath her hand she was sure that he was about to pull his hand away because he had finally enough of this sappy conversation. This wasn't a damn romance novel like he used to say. She wanted to feel disappointed when suddenly he turned his hand to link her fingers with his and her breathing almost stopped when his thumb started to gently caress the skin on the back of her hand. A warm started to spread from her hand and through her whole body.
After that they went quiet as each was tending to their own thoughts. It was a peaceful silence. Beth enjoyed the soft breeze of the last summer air as it was gently caressing her face. The snarling of the walkers outside was nothing more than a small whisper so far away from the fence.
As the sun started to go down Daryl walked her back to the kitchen. They acted almost reluctant to break the contact of their hands after he pulled her up from the grass. Daryl didn't knew what went into him holding her hand like a damn teenager. He just had the feeling it was the right thing to do. That she wanted him to do it. He answered her expression with a slight smile of his own that he hoped for didn't look too much like a grimace. With a last look back to him Beth turned around and he could only see the tip of her swinging ponytail as she disappeared around the corner to the cells.
He was still looking after her like a lovesick puppy as he felt a slight slap on the back of his head and he turned to come face to face with Carol. Although she had just slapped him a wide grin was grazing the features of the older woman.
"Taking her out to smash walker brains? Not really what I had in mind as I shoved the two of you together. Couldn't you think of something a little bit more romantic?" the gray haired woman chided him playfully. Daryl shrugged and crossed his arms in front of his body. "Don't know what yah are talking about woman. There wasn't no romantic." He answered but just to be sure he avoided Carol's gaze scared of what she might be able to read in his eyes.
His friend just snickered at that: "No of course not." And then she quietly started to sing to herself: "I can be your hero baby. I can kiss away the pain. And I will stand by you forever…" Daryl growled and fled the room followed by Carol's laugher.