Surrounded, Alone
It was always just me. One sunburned
Solitary boy, alone in a ravaged field.
Not even memories of my family to
Make my pain into a true tragedy.
My first memory is of stealing food.
The first human (besides myself) appeared. So
I killed him first; my mind flung
His bullets back at him. I didn't cry.
My war sunburn was permanent, a mark
Of the child the nun's wouldn't answer.
They couldn't answer me, the bright heretic.
No one had pity for me, because
Even then, I kept flinging people away.
I hid my power, but they were
Still afraid of me, of getting close
And being crushed on my steel barrier.
Once, a man, my "friend", pitied me.
He introduced me as his brilliant friend.
We were cordial and social as needed.
I was sure he hated me. For
I hated his pity, its condescending manner.
He had everything and tried to be
The best. He followed me to the
Base where we, and the rest, died.
I did all the work there, since
I was the computer genius. I was
Always fixing them for the other scientists.
I was a troublemaker, they grumbled when
I was out of the room, and I
Made no friends. I was the only
Person the government had forced to come.
A seventh one to outlive the six.
The drama of the base was predictable.
All the men were in love with
The most beautiful woman. Well, not me!
She had been cut off from people
But she was a living, ordained saint,
Forbidden to marry to preserve her holiness.
Holiness was arrogance. She grew plants, and
When they ruined the computers, I shouted
At her, the favorite, the pure woman.
I hated how she said my name.
We were the same, but she was
Revered, blessed by God, and I wasn't.
So when they discovered my plan to
Leave the base and descend to the
Planet we'd been observing, they jailed me.
So? Our planet had already been destroyed.
I was always destructive. I tricked and
Raped the pure woman. But she told
Them to release me, that we were
Engaged now. She forgave everything I did.
I learned that she was a cruel
Woman then. I told her I had
Raped her to hurt my so-called
Friend, to hurt her, and she smiled.
She took away my victory, acting strangely
With me. I played her game willingly.
We were both shocked when we
Heard my "friend" had died of
A virus we couldn't stop from
Eventually killing us all, trapped there
In our base. I cried for him
Like a child, though living is overrated.
Then two more died.
Four of us left.
The chemist tried to
Make a vaccine. But
The second woman
Died first, and
He was infected.
He gave me,
And my fiancée,
Whom he had
Loved, the vaccine
Before he died.
I was wrong
About them all.
I sobbed again
In her arms.
Two left.
But then.
More lies
Revealed. He
Had lied.
I got
That vaccine.
She died.
Now I live alone again, in a base, surrounded
By computers, the corpses of my crewmates, and my
Fiancée's beautiful plants. My hair grows long, and every
Day, I water her plants and watch that planet.
She told me not to kill myself, so
For nine years, I live with bodies and plants.
I have lost everything but my hope to finally
Die and be together. I die, alone for the
Last
Time.