Once upon a time, Stalin was needy of solid wanking material, so he's like, "Yeah, I'll pick up the Bible!"
And this he did!!!! And so it was that as he was jerking off to Jesus's words in the temple, he suddenly was enveloped in a rush of white light. Thinking he had reached a violent orgasm, he wasn't surprised. It had happened before, when he had emptied himself into Lenin's tight ass, and Jesus was even hotter than Lenin!
However, it was not an ordinary orgasm. Frankly, it just wasn't an orgasm at all. He had been sucked into the Bible as hard as he had once sucked Trotsky's dick before they had broken up. Suddenly, a voice sounded:
"Welcome to my bathhouse, bitch."
"Whose bathhouse?" Stalin asked himself. "It doesn't really matter, I love bathhouses (LOL)."
Suddenly, Stalin found himself worked over by the hottest men of the age, Judas and Jesus and the apostles. He had never felt so good in his life—colors exploded in his mind as his body received the ardor of thousands.
His eyes fluttered open as he reached his climax, hearing thunderous footsteps, and suddenly, he saw the big pimp himself, God.
"I am God, capital G, capital O, capital D. Yo, noob, fuck me now!!"
Stalin growled, "No one—not even God—can call me a noob!" as he slammed his rockhard dick up God's ass. God screamed his pleasure, then gasped, "Let there be light…ning!"
As they coupled, multi-colored flashes of lightning danced around them erotically. It reminded Stalin of that rave he had gone to with Hitler all those years ago. Too much ecstasy and the best sex of his life were all he remembered of that night. Stalin smiled in a feral manner—his best sex until now, that is!