Neither Sam or Dean blamed her really, how could they? She missed John like she missed a part of herself, like there was a limb missing.

So when she saw him again, by some miraculous reason and magic John had been brought back to her she had a major moment of weakness.

Truthfully she did have a majority of the ingredients she needed for the Winchester Surprise, some she would've been able to substitute, but she had to send the boys out, she needed that time with John.

He had missed her just as much, she knew that in the kisses he pressed to her skin, his hands gripping her desperately.

Whatever she and Bobby had been, it hadn't gone anywhere and it wasn't going to. Seeing John once more like this, being with him again, she couldn't bring herself to have anything to do with him, or anyone else.

Bobby had mentioned perhaps progressing their relationship slightly before he had left, something she had maybe agreed with at the time but now…

She knew that she couldn't ever be with anyone ever again. She knew that John would want her to be happy and if that included maybe dating other guys he would be alright with it but the very idea made her heart twist and she couldn't breathe.

John had been it for her, Sam and Dean had told her that they were soulmates orchestrated by heaven to get together and in all honesty, she knew that it was the truth down to her bones. Even when she had slept with Ketch it felt wrong and like she had needed a long bath afterwards to scrub away his touchings.

So once she and John had been alone together in the bunker, they couldn't help it. They hadn't even made it to her bedroom, they had used the table and the chairs around them, neither of them thinking clearly enough to get protection or for him to come outside of her.

She had missed sex with John, he had always been so attentive to her and they always managed to just...work so good together.

And once he was gone, once everything else settled around her and the boys, the three of them stayed together for a while. Even Michael had seemed to quiet down for a bit according to Dean. They just clung to one another and stayed at the bunker.

Until one morning when Mary woke up to her stomach cramping and she had thrown up into the toilet, she had managed to hide it from the boys for the time being but slowly when the sickness didn't go away the stress started to get to her and she started to worry.

Sam and Dean both noticed and had asked her about it but she waved off their concerns, just saying that it was from her period.

That she hadn't had in almost a month.

So on the next supply run she had volunteered to go and had ducked into a pharmacy, grabbing a pregnancy test as well. She came back and ducked into her room, read the instructions, and had set to use it.

She hated waiting, she always hated waiting and it was one of her worst traits on her hunts. She tapped her fingers in time with her watch as she waited for the results, looking at the papers again to make sure what each symbol meant. Plus meant yes, minus meant no.

Her phone binged once once the time ran out and she took a deep breath. Not letting herself think about it she reached out and grabbed the stick, staring at it.

"Oh god." Mary whispered in shock. She felt the horror coursing through her, the fear, and just a little bit she was happy, just that little bit. "Oh god."

A plus sign stared back up at her.

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