"I think I'm heading out for the night." Olivia heard someone announce from the squad room through her open office door. She looked up and found Amanda gathering her things at her desk. She watched her for a moment before deciding to address the team.
"Hey guys, I know you're all probably exhausted after the crazy week we've had, so I thought I'd offer a round or two of drinks to everyone." She paused, locking eyes with Amanda. "Unless you have plans already of course."
The tension between the two of them was palpable, everyone could feel it but no one spoke about it. Fin and Carisi shared a look briefly before they both stood up and gathered their things and agreed to accompany Olivia.
"You coming Rollins?" Fin asked, sliding into his jacket, everyone turned to look at Amanda, waiting for an answer.
"Uh, yeah sure. I could use a drink." She smiled, trying to hide the fact that she was completely uncomfortable with the situation. She smiled at Olivia before making her way to the hallway to wait by the elevators.
There was guilt, of course. She had been actively avoiding Olivia since the last time they all went out. It wasn't that she had a bad time, but she knew she wouldn't be able to leave it at a one night thing, or no strings attached. Although they didn't really talk about what happened, she knew what Olivia's feelings were. She knew that night was nothing more than a release for her boss and that nothing could come of it, but those weren't her feelings at all. Since before she moved to New York, she had admired the brunette, but once she actually met her, spoke with her, worked closely with her, she found it wasn't simple admiration; no this was serious attraction.
"Hey Manda, you good?" Fin asked as he approached her near the elevators, she didn't get a chance to respond honestly though as Olivia and Carisi were rounding the corner.
"Yeah, I'm good. It's like Liv said, it's been a long week." She replied, looking over Fin's shoulder and locking eyes with Olivia briefly before turning her gaze back to Fin, giving him a light smile.
"Everyone ready?" Olivia asks with a hopeful look in her eyes when she looks at Amanda again. There's something else there too though, something Amanda couldn't quite give a name to. As everyone nodded their heads as to say they were ready the elevator doors dinged open. Fin stood next to Carisi, leaving room next to Amanda, so Olivia took her place next to the blonde. She could see her fidgeting in her peripheral, but made no move to look directly at her, wanting to give her the space she needed but wanting so badly to reach out and touch her.
Her mind wondered back to the night they had spent together. It had been an especially hard week, ending with an even harder day as they finally got their man, but not without cost. Everyone had been shaken up, but Olivia especially so. She had taken the life of someone who had committed horrible crimes, but the fear she saw in his eyes as he lay dying on the floor of a dirty warehouse had hit a nerve. It was real fear. Fin suggested that they all went out for drinks, to unwind. And they did just that.
Amanda chanced a glance over at her boss, and a frown set in her face. Olivia stood silently next to her, eyes focused on something Amanda couldn't see, a smile spread across her face. She couldn't help but think about how beautiful she was. Suddenly she had a vision of Olivia on her knees in front of her, pinning her to the wall of an alley next to the bar.
As the doors dinged open, the four of them made their way out of the building, choosing to walk to a bar instead of one of them driving. Fin and Carisi busied themselves with some animated conversation about baseball, leaving the two women to trail behind, occasionally shaking their heads at the antics of their male colleagues.
"Amanda?"
She turned and met Olivia's eyes, suddenly very nervous. She knew she wouldn't be able to resist Olivia if she chose to put her in that position.
"I'm sorry." Olivia whispered, trying to not alert the men to their conversation.
"Sorry for what?" Amanda asked, she didn't understand why Olivia would be apologizing. Neither of them did anything wrong.
"I'm sorry if I did, or said anything to offend you that night when…"
"Hey, you guys okay back there? I hear a lot of whispering. Secrets don't make friends." Carisi said with a short laugh, looking over his shoulder at the two women walking behind them.
"Who says we're your friend?" Amanda said, deadpanning at Carisi who feigned hurt, putting his hand on his chest.
"Alright children," Fin said. "We're here. Amanda be nice to Carisi, he's sensitive." He chuckled as he held the door for his team.
"What's everyone drinking?" Olivia asked as they found a table, depositing her jacket on the back of one of the chairs. As everyone gave her their drink orders, Amanda stayed silent, debating on whether or not she actually wanted to be there.
"I'll help you carry the drinks Liv." She said before she had even had a moment to actually think about it, the words spilling from her mouth.
Olivia smiled and led the way to the bar. As Amanda walked behind her boss, she watched the way her hips swayed, the way her slacks hugged her figure perfectly and once again was over come with memories of that one night they shared weeks ago.
She remembered the way she felt, weaving her fingers in the soft brown locks of her boss, of the woman she had such intense feelings for. She thought about how soft her skin was, how the scent of her was all around her as she fell backwards onto Olivia's bed after they told the guys they were going home. The look in Olivia's eyes just before that first kiss in the alleyway as she shoved her against a wall.
"Amanda?"
"What? Sorry Liv, I guess I'm a little distracted." She said, embarrassed to have been caught staring.
"It's okay, penny for your thoughts?" Olivia smiled, leaning against the bar. When Amanda didn't respond she spoke again. "You're thinking about that night, aren't you?"
"Yeah, I guess I am." Amanda said, looking down at her hands, letting out a nervous laugh before she met Olivia's gaze once more. They just looked at each other for a moment before she saw a flicker in Olivia's eyes. Hurt maybe?
"Why did you leave? I woke up and you were just, just gone. I tried to call you, I texted you. Why?" Olivia asked, stunning Amanda with the amount of emotion she was showing on a topic she was sure meant nothing to her.
"I- I'm sorry Liv, I thought that's what you wanted me to do." She said, feeling her eyes brimming with threatening tears.
"Why would I want that?" She asked, looking intently at Amanda, seriously wanting to know why she would want to wake up after the best night of her life to an empty bed, heartbroken.
"I don't know, I figured because you're my boss you wouldn't want anything more than a one night stand. Am I wrong?" The tears were seriously threatening to spill over at the thought that she could've been so wrong, causing herself to miss out on something great.
"Very wrong." She looked away from Amanda as the bartender gave her the total for their drinks. Amanda stood stock still watching her bosses every move. She was wrong, Olivia did want more. It wasn't a feeling free night like she had thought, it meant something to both of them. Taking a chance she fear she might never get again, she grabbed Olivia's arm and turned her around.
"I'm sorry I left. I was wrong, and I haven't been able to get that night out of my head. Every time I see you I have to use every bit of self control I have so I don't pin you to the wall, or your desk. I can't do it anymore, it's driving me insane." She closed the distance, taking Olivia by surprise by pressing her lips to hers.
Fin and Carisi sat at the table watching the whole scene play out.
"So, maybe they wont be so moody at the office now." Carisi said, leaning his head in his hands, propped up on his elbow.
"All I've got to say is it's about damn time. I don't think I could handle Amanda trying to sneak and make eyes at Liv anymore." Fin watched as Amanda pulled away from Olivia, both smiling bigger than he had seen in a long time.
The two women made their way to their table, drinks in hand, smiles plastered on their faces.
"I just want to say congrats to you two. It's about time you stop hiding the way you feel." Fin said raising his glass, Carisi following suit.
"I don't know what you mean Fin." Amanda said, not entirely sure if they should talk about what had just happened, but silently happy that Fin approved.
"Whatever you say baby girl, just as long as you're happy." He smiled, tapping his glass on Carisi's.
Olivia sat silently, happy to know that her team supported her and Amanda in whatever may come in the future. She wasn't sure what that may be, but she was hopeful. Looking at Amanda she knew she didn't want to waist another second, she wanted to know what her future with the blonde held and she was going to make damn sure she found out. She'd had enough of wasted time.