A/N: This is going to be very very dark. Please be warned.

Her vision had gone bright orange.

And then red.

And then a strange brownish color that didn't make much sense. Red made sense. Black would have been nicer. So far, she didn't regret her decision to unstopper every potion in the bathroom cabinet at Number Twelve Grimmauld place. She was ok with her decision to swallow every single one of them. What she did regret was neglecting to ward the door. She regretted not silencing the room so that no one would hear the thud of her fall to the floor. No one would hear the gurgling noises as she vomited and choked and struggled to breath. No one would hear her dying.

As it were, she did forget to do all of those things, and she heard the door swing open, felt it hit her in the foot. She heard the gasping sobs of her younger friend Ginny and heard her knees hit the floor as she dropped down next to her. She felt Ginny's hands flutter over her face, her hair, and heard her scream for help. But there was no one else in the house. Hermione had chosen her timing specifically, but Ginny had woken up earlier than usual this morning.

"Oh, no. Oh, God, Hermione. Oh, no," Ginny sobbed between her screams for help. No one's going to come,Ginny, Hermione wanted to tell her. No one's here. But her mouth and her mind seemed to be disconnected and all she could manage was a gurgling sob.

But then Ginny was gone, and a more stern voice replaced her shrill tones. Hermione managed to open her eyes just slightly and fixed on a pair of bottomless black eyes before she felt two fingers shoved into her mouth and down her throat. She rolled onto her side and vomited again. And then again. Until her ribs felt like they might crack and she was sobbing with the effort.

"Stop it," Hermione snapped between sobs. "Let me die. Please, let me die." Those black eyes were back then, and the concern that colored them before was replaced with anger.

"It'd be easy for you, wouldn't it? You're not going anywhere, Miss Granger. Not today." She flinched away from the voice that had criticized her so openly in their Potions classes. She felt his hands scoop her up from the floor.

"Miss Weasley, a wet flannel if you would, and follow me. Mention nothing of this to anyone, do you understand?" Ginny must have nodded because Snape's expression didn't change. Hermione heard the tap running and Ginny's residual sniffles. When the tap turned off, Snape began to move and Hermione was too tired to walked down the hall, up the stairs, and through another door that Hermione was vaguely aware of as his bedroom. Why was he taking her into his bedroom?

She struggled last man that had taken her to his bedroom-Well, she supposed that was the reason she'd taken all of the potions. She was dropped onto the bed where she quickly gathered her witts and scrambled into a sitting position with her knees against her chest, her arms wrapped around her knees. She watched Snape cross the room to a small wooden cabinet on his dresser and pull out a small vial half the size of the standard vial. He was back in front of her quicker than her eyes could register and tipping the vial to her mouth. She twisted away and he growled.

"Weasley, hold the phial. When I tell you, make her drink it." He gripped the back of Hermione's head with one hand and held her nose shut with other. "Now," she heard him say just as she opened her mouth to take a breath. Ginny poured the potion into her mouth and she swallowed impulsively.

"What was that?" Ginny asked timidly.

"It'll counteract everything she took. The idiot." Ginny pressed the cool, wet flannel to Hermione's forehead and Hermione flinched away from her. Ginny frowned and looked to the Professor, who shrugged and turned his back to them to put down the empty bottle.

"Alright, Granger," he said suddenly, spinning back around. "What sort of attention are you looking for now? Looking to gain pitty for higher marks?" Hermione's head snapped up.

"No!" She choked, scrubbing at her face. Seeming to sense a higher form of distress, Snape turned to Ginny and snapped at her to get out. The girl hesitated, but followed direction regardless of her worry. As soon as the door shut behind her, Hermione dissolved into tears. Large, hiccoughing tears that made Snape both incredibly uncomfortable and incredibly concerned. He took a tentative step forward, but didn't come any closer to her than a few feet.

"Granger," he said carefully, and reached out one hand. Before his fingers were even a couple of inches from her shoulder, she gasped, and slapped his hand away.

"Don't touch me!" Her voice was feral, ground out in such a way that was obviously an instinct and not a choice. Snape was not only disturbed that he understood exactly what had happened to her in that moment, but also that it had happened. She scrambled back on the bed, pulling her knees up tightly against her chest and raked her hands through her chaos of hair that seemed even more hellbent on misbehaving than usual.

"Oh, Merlin…" Snape muttered, letting his arm fall back to his side. "Granger, you need to come with me. You need to see a healer-"

"No," she said firmly. "No one can know. No one-no one." He simply stared at her, watched the way she rocked back and forth and fought with her hair. The way she avoided his eyes all together and kept her own fixed on the rumpled bedding before her. Every bit of her posture and expression warned him against approaching her, but he did it anyway. He stepped forward until his shins nearly touched the edge of the mattress, and reached toward her again. Her eyes shot up with such a fierce glare that he almost backed off again. But he wouldn't allow her animalistic stance to deter him.

She had vomit on the side of her mouth, down her chin, and soaked into her t-shirt. Her eyes were red and swollen and her lips were puffy. She actually looked like she'd tried to kill herself, and if she didn't want anyone to know, he first needed to get her and the loo cleaned up, and then he needed to speak to Ginny Weasley.

"Come with me, either way. If someone sees you looking the way you do, you'll have more questions to answer than what I have for you." She considered him for a moment before nodding and taking the hand he hesitantly offered for her. She stood gingerly, wincing. He led her back down the hall, into the bathroom where he'd found her. There was vomit soaking into the bathmat where she'd collapsed, and empty vials scattered across the counter. He felt her cringe away from the door, and lifted his wand to Scourgify the mess. The empty vials righted and stacked themselves neatly on a corner of the vanity. He pulled her into the bathroom, shut the door, and waved his wand again to Ward the room. At the shimmer of his magic, she seemed to relax her stance somewhat, but he noticed her flinch again when he stepped around her to turn the shower on.

-v-

He was only trying to help. Hermione kept repeating those words over and over in her head, but somehow, it wasn't helping. He's only trying to help. He just wants to help.

You thought he was only trying to help, too. You thought he only had your best interest in mind.

"Let me show you something, Hermione. Buck-erm-Witherwings is doing really well. I think he misses the three of you. And Hagrid. He's grown since you saw him last! Did you know how big Hippogriffs could get?" Hermione smiled at him, followed him upstairs to the top floor. He had her by the hand, tugging her up the steps and into his bedroom.

His bedroom.

Hermione's heart jolted in surprise and sudden trepidation. Witherwings had never been kept in Sirius' bedroom. He was kept in his own, larger room down the hall. He shut the door behind them and, before she could think or react, pinned her to it. His hand clamped over her mouth, and he shoved a knee between her legs.

"You're perfect, Hermione, you know that?" He murmured in her ear, his voice vastly different now than the conversational tone he'd had before. "You've grown into yourself so well. I've seen you looking, too. I have, haven't I?" She sobbed behind his hand and clamped her eyes shut. His over hand krept down her thigh, cupped under her bum, and spun them around until they both fell-hard-onto his bed. She tried to scramble away, but his fingers caught her thighs, dug in, and held her there. Then he gripped her hips-it hurt-and pulled her back toward him, where he yanked her denims down-

Hermione shook her head hard, eliciting a harsh intake of breath from the Professor. He stepped away from her then and turned away. She watched him while the shower ran and when he hadn't heard any sound of movement, he glanced at her over his shoulder.

"The shower is for you, Miss Granger. This is all the privacy I'm willing to give you at this time given what you just tried to do." He turned from her again, and she slowly peeled her soiled clothes off, allowing them to drop to the floor before stepping into the steady stream of water. When he heard the shower curtain close, Snape turned around, pointed his wand at the pile of clothes, and cleaned them. They fluffed and folded onto the lid of the loo.

When the tap turned off several minutes later, he turned around again so she could dress and when the ruffling of clothes stopped, he turned to face her again and saw her pulling her hair back into a tight bun at the top of her head.

In seven years, he had never seen her wear her hair in any way other than wild and loose and chaotic around her head. It was startling and disturbing.

He took her by the shoulder and steered her back out of of the bathroom and into his own room. The only protest she gave with a hissed suck of air through her teeth.

He's only trying to help. He's only trying to help.

But why?

Hermione sat gingerly in the place she'd occupied previously. She watched him as he sat down in a chair opposite the bed.

"What happened to you?" His voice was demanding, offering no sympathy and accepting no excuses.

"I think you know exactly what happened to me," Hermione replied slowly, careful not to meet his eyes directly. Instead, she stared at a spot on the wall just right of his head.

"You were raped."

"Yes, sir, I was."