A/N: So here it is as you all requested. Hope it's good. I kinda tried to make some sense into it so please R&R...
Rette Mich
Komm berühre mich
Ich verliere mich
Denn ich spüre dich
Rette mich
He felt weird. Nothing seemed making any sense.
Where was he?
A faint tingling held his attention bit longer he needed.
Suddenly wave of voices broke in his silent reverie.
But still no sense. What was happening?
"Ryan? You hear me?" a familiar voice brought back some more senses.
He wanted to speak but his voice didn't sound.
He felt a hand touching his shoulder but couldn't make anything out of it.
Ryan still half drifted. It was one hell of a day. When his friend fell into the water it felt like eternity. And he wasn't coming up. Something was wrong. Very wrong.
And he didn't need to say twice. Calling in, he dumped his shoes and dove for his friend.
He still considered Ryan as his friend. And he never let his friends down.
It took more time than he liked to find him in the dark water.
He was slipped too close the bottom Eric feared the worst.
But one more thing bugged him. Ryan didn't even try to swim back. He just let himself to drown.
But why?
He looked once more at the man in hospital bed. He looked so pale and fragile. Just like back then, with a nail in his eye.
Eric closed his eyes and sighed.
It never gets better. Always something has to happen to one of his friends, even himself.
So far Ryan's been the most unscathed one. Never anything too serious to make these hazel orbs to stop sparkling.
Something must've been guiding this kid out of too serious trouble.
Ich erkenne dich
Und verrenne mich
Deshalb brenne ich
Rette mich
It took just yet another utmost spiralling twinge to make the deliberate reaction to surface. He was slowly showing first waking signs which made others proudly happy for their unfortunate buddy.
Yes, indeed Ryan Wolfe was trying to stir through the thick layers of disturbing darkness. He was making little progress over the last few days but everything seemed promising.
The doctors kept believing it's possible for Ryan to make full recovery after being dead, twice, literally. But it still made Eric feel guilty. Only this time less than others.
For the time being he still had this occasional thought, memory of the times he regretted his early interactions towards the younger man. Not that he'd ever hated him. Just pure grief over his best friend, who took the tragic path, only held him back from actually seeing the new guy. But it never made him to hate Ryan for real. More like schoolboy's incompetence towards the new one that seemed too young for a job of this seriousness.
Needless to say how Eric failed miserably, leaving the innocent boy with a nail in his eye after just few snarky words.
The other time made him more guilty inside. Back then he was really mad at Ryan but some time later he eventually managed to pinpoint few details that made him change his overall attitude.
Eventually some other minor events led Eric to get attached to the younger man.
And when the stolen diamond case put his friend, as he believed Ryan was for him, behind bars he couldn't shake off that vibrant feeling of something wrong. But it was up to others to find out, he was sharing other table. Even though it made him more open towards the man.
After loosing Jesse things became different. But he was back by then. And on good terms with Ryan. Finally.
Für all die jahre
Die uns enteilen
Für all die wunden
Die nie verheilen
Darkness. Pain. Silence.
He felt like his breath has been forced into his lungs. Not that it surprised him. However, it still made him feel strange.
For some reason he couldn't feel anything besides his aching chest and pounding head. And it scared him. But Ryan tried not to panic.
After some unknown amount of time he started to hear faint beeping and whooshing somewhere beside.
Where was he? And what happened?
Questions kept floating through his head as he slowly gained his senses.
With his mind still reeling Ryan's body eventually decided to bring its owner back to reality where another man was silently sleeping beside, his head resting on Ryan's bedside.
For any other passer by it'd look really cute. But it was just as lovely as it might seem for any other.
Alexx was standing outside the room watching two of their babies.
She was still rather concerned of the younger man. She remembered last time he was here. She had promised to never tell anyone about it but Alexx knew how they'd be worried of their still slightly neglected colleague. But she had promised and wasn't the one who breaks them.
But it still worried her.
His health hasn't been the very perfect at all. Despite what the team thought. Little did they know about their friend's true condition.
After he was wheeled into ER she found out a lot of things.
First was his lungs. Or the state of them, to be exact. It was slight surprise to see how badly he was actually affected by the explosion and later another fire. After the first time in burning house he later washed up at her doorstep having bad cough. He was a tough guy and he proved it yet again, keeping his pace for so long without collapsing.
But eventually he gave up the fight letting her to be his saviour, though he refused to stay longer than needed.
So stubborn. As always.
The next came explosion. Seemingly only scratch left to remind about it while at the meantime Natalia suffered more concerning condition.
But they had no idea what was Ryan's true situation. This time he came to her even later with symptoms of mild concussion. Luckily he felt too tired to refuse proper medical attention.
Another fire not too long ago left him slightly more concerned of his own well being, even though all the attention was turned to Calleigh yet again. For some reason Alexx sensed Ryan still felt little an outcast. And that made her worry grow because obviously the boy was trying to work himself till collapse.
And that what happened then. She'd found him laying on the floor of hospital's storage room where the poor boy had probably hidden to get some privacy.
And that was a mistake. Fortunately it wasn't one of those deserted rooms where he'd never found in time. He got off lucky with couple days off. And somehow Ryan had managed to hide it from H. But not this time.
This time she told H to pay more attention to her baby and it immediately set alarm bells in older man's mind. As Ryan's boss he had rights to ask for his file. And this event was enough for the boss to take a look.
With that Alexx had left Horatio alone to see the cause of their worry personally.
But right now she didn't dare to walk in. It made her frown seeing Eric, of all, with Ryan like this. And after hearing the story it made sense.
So now Alexx was standing in the hallway looking at Ryan, so small in his hospital bed, attached to wires and tubes, fighting for his life. Only one thing confused her. Why he let himself down? Why he resisted? Why didn't fight?
But she'll have to wait untill the boy wakes up and tells it himself.
Until then all Alexx could do was to wait for Ryan coming back...
Komm und nähre mich
Und vermehre dich
Ich verzehre mich
Rette mich
He cautiously cracked an eye open just to peek around.
He saw a figure dozing off at his bedside. He couldn't believe his eyes. It was Eric, for Ryan's surprise.
Of course it wasn't like they were enemies but still some distance was between them. Not really big but still enough for him to be surprised seeing older man sound asleep on his hospital bedside.
Yeah, hospital. Another thing to start worry about.
Opening his eyes completely he wasn't struck by the bright lights for once. At least one thing was ok.
The next thing that registered was ventilator stuck down his throat. Great.
And pain. Still the deep throb in his head was annoying hell for him. Especially in this situation.
He almost let out a moan as deep ache cursed through his chest. Another thing to think about.
Yet he did know the truth was about to spill this time. Last time it was already too close. And Ryan didn't want anyone to find out. But with Alexx you could never be entirely sure. He though guessed H already knew. The way he approached him afterwards gave this strange, yet pleasing feeling. At least that wasn't too bad. The lab hadn't blown in gossip so it was good sign.
Now was time to come clean because it was more than hundred percent sure questions will fall on him. Not that they didn't deserve to know. More like his own pride and stubbornness.
Eh, not this time, Ryan thought. This time he's gonna let it all out to open. And hopefully won't get blamed or judged...
The figure beside moves slightly and Ryan has pull himself back to reality.
Suddenly he doesn't feel so confident anymore. Probably because he's never faced his coworkers and friends in a situation like this, when it's demanding to tell what actually happened.
Suddenly a pair of brown orbs meets his own hazel. Surprise. Then joy.
Good.
"Hey sleepyhead. You got us worried." Eric says watching Ryan closely.
Ryan tries a smile but tube makes it hard.
"I'll call doctor so they can get that thing outta your throat." Eric pats him on arm and walks out.
So far he seems to be genuinely happy. Enough for Ryan.
Soon the doctor comes and takes away all the equipment he doesn't need anymore. Some blood drawn and quick tests done, but it doesn't bother Ryan. Then comes Alexx to share a stern look and few assuring words. She's not asking but Ryan knows that she as well as the rest of the team wants to know why. But he preserves that for one other person- Eric.
And he comes back in when everyone else is gone.
He fears to face the man alone but somehow the generous expression on other man's face made up his mind.
"Eric. Good to see you here." it takes all to prevent his voice from cracking and hands from shaking.
"You scared the crap outta me." the slight hint of anger shows. At least he's honest.
"Sorry pal. I didn't mean." his own mind starts to bug him.
A nod from Eric. Then silence.
Time to speak.
Es verschlimmert sich
Ich erinner mich
Blute innerlich
Rette mich
Ryan breathes in shakily.
"I was so scared. All the deep and dark water." the bomb is dropped.
Eric just stares into wall but keeps listening.
"Once I was drowning. Fell from bridge into river. Nobody seen me, I was alone." Ryan hoped he won't notice this tiny slip. It wasn't accident.
"I had trouble with swimming so I couldn't get out. It was cold and I froze. Somebody passed by and saw disturbed water. I was out of water rather soon. Only they had to revive me." his voice trails. Quick glance at Eric tells that he seems shocked.
Für all die träume
Die uns entgleiten
Für all die ängste
Die sich verbreiten
For a moment there's another silence break. Then Eric speaks up.
"So you just got scared or was it something else?" he asks directly, without beating around the bush.
A sigh escapes Ryan's lips. He's not sure. Well he is but not sure what to say. Then Eric takes up.
"That first time wasn't accident, right? Nor this time." he asks already knowing the answer. This time Ryan won't lie.
"No it wasn't." Ryan admits, staring at his hands on his lap. "I don't know what happened there. I just froze. The memories of that night..." this confession takes too much from his as a single tear rolls down his cheek.
Komm und erlöse mich von mir
Komm und erlöse mich
Suddenly a comforting embrace engulfs Ryan. No words are said, just soothing feeling. And he knows he's healed now...
Für all die jahre
Die uns enteilen
Für all die wunden
Die nie verheilen
Für all die träume
Die uns entgleiten
Für all die ängste
Die sich verbreiten
The End
A/N2: Well I'm not sure but tgat song just took me so...
If you wanna check out it's ''Rette Mich'' by OOMPH!
Thanks for reading:)
A/N3:
If there's any mistakes let me know. I don't have Beta so all mistakes/grammar errata/misspellings are totally mine...
BTW English is NOT my native language so bear with me...
Peace out:D