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Spoilers for CACW.

"What's a Stucky?" Steve asked, shrugging off his coat. He would have just Googled it, but he was pretty sure Tony had messed with the autocorrect on his phone, because every time he tried to text Sam about defensive tactics, it changed the word "ducking" to something Steve definitely did not intend to type.

He could tell immediately who knew what a "Stucky" was and who didn't by whether or not they met his eyes. The Avengers who knew what a "Stucky" was included Tony, Natasha, Clint, Sam, and Rhodes. The Avengers who didn't know what a "Stucky" was included Thor, Bruce, and Bucky.

"Where did you hear that word?" The last time Tony sounded that delighted, Steve had just asked him what a "fleshlight" was. (He hired an assistant to screen his fanmail after that.)

"On the subway. Someone asked for an autograph. She said she was a Stucky fan. I knew she hadn't gotten me confused with Bucky, because she'd just called me Captain America."

"As if anyone could get us mixed up," said Bucky, and before Steve could feel bad about accidentally bringing up Bucky's disability, he added, "I'm clearly the good-looking one."

"Jerk."

"Punk."

"Yeah," said Tony. "I'm starting to see it."

After Bucky came out of cryo, the Avengers had held a Team Meeting, which was a nice way of saying that Tony and Bucky had a heart to heart with about eight heavily armed moderators. The moderators had been necessary, not because Bucky and Tony had fought, but because Bucky had offered to let Tony kill him if he needed to, and someone had needed to hold Steve back.

Tony had decided that he forgave Bucky just enough to accept him as an Avenger, but not enough to deny himself the occasional schadenfreude. When he'd told Bucky this, Bucky just corrected his pronunciation. Since then, they'd reached a surprisingly easy truce. Steve was pretty sure it was built on their shared hobby of giving him shit.

"Be nice Tony," said Rhodes. "This will be awkward enough for two guys who were born a century before gay marriage became legal."

"Gay marriage?" Steve repeated. He wasn't sure what gay marriage had to do with anything, but it sounded like they thought he was homophobic. He was old fashioned about a lot of things, but that definitely wasn't one of them.

"I'm not homophobic," said Steve.

"Well, that's good," said Tony, "because Stucky is the and couple name for you and Bucky."

"Couple name?"

"You know. Like Brangelina. Kimye. Hiddleswift."

"Hiddleswift?" Steve was starting to feel like a myna bird.

"I'm still trying to get that one to catch on."

"Don't try too hard," said Thor. "They broke up."

"Really?" Tony sounded genuinely sad about that.

"I'm confused." Steve was often confused, but usually only about one or two things at a time, sometimes three if Tony was around. Right now, he was confused about a lot of things, not the least of which was how Thor was more up-to-date on his celebrity gossip than Tony, who in all likelihood actually knew Tom Hiddleston. Steve had priorities though. "Why would people think Bucky and I are dating?"

Tony waved him off, and they were at his house, so the dishwasher started. He turned it off and said, "It doesn't matter."

"It doesn't?" Steve was confused about a lot more than three things. Tony made it sound like you didn't have to date someone to be a couple. Maybe you didn't. It was the future. There were fleshlights now.

"It's all about who people want you to date."

"People want me to date Bucky?" Steve risked a look at his childhood friend, but in addition to the metal arm, Hydra had given Bucky a remarkable poker face.

Tony shrugged. "Some people. Some people want you to date me. We're Stony. But if we're with Bruce, then we're the Stark Spangled Banner."

Steve felt his mouth drop open.

"Relax, big guy," said Nat. "No one takes it seriously. It's just People. Well, and fanfiction."

"Fan Fiction?" Steve had a weakness for the People, and Us Weekly, which he justified as research, but he didn't remember seeing one called Fan Fiction at Duane Read. "What's Fan Fiction?"

Tony looked like Christmas had come early and Steve had been given a fleshlight.

"Okay, so you know... What's a reference you'll actually get? Okay, so you know The Wizard of Oz, right?"

Steve and Bucky nodded in unison.

"Say you wish there was a sequel, so you-"

"There was a sequel," said Steve.

"Don't interrupt. And people say I'm the rude one. Say you wish there was a sequel, so you wrote it yourself. That's fanfiction."

That seemed simple enough to Steve, but he was knew it was going to get complicated, because Tony was still talking.

"Say you wished a scene was different, so you wrote it yourself. Also fanfiction. An alternate reality set in a coffee shop? Fanfiction. Porn featuring Dorothy and the flying monkeys? Also fanfiction."

"Is there fanfiction about- about that?" Steve tried to keep the horror out of his voice, because he really was tired of the grandpa jokes.

"How should I know? I don't read Wizard of Oz fanfiction, grandpa."

"There's another childhood classic ruined."

"How many does that make?" asked Bucky.

Steve held up seven fingers.

Tony turned off the garbage disposal. "I did, however, stumble upon the gem that is Avengers fanfiction while Googling my own name. Do not even pretend to be surprised."

Steve didn't. "We're not characters. We're real people."

He was, anyway. He was mostly sure about Tony.

Clint shrugged. "So are the members of One Direction, but Prisoner of My Own Body still exists. What? I have a daughter."

"A ten year old daughter," said Nat. "You're not fooling anyone, Clint."

"Aren't ten years old girls the target demographic for One Direction?"

"Ten year old girls aren't the target demographic for NC-17 fanfiction. If you let Lila read Prisoner of My Own Body, I'm calling Social Services."

"You haven't read any of the flying monkey fanfiction about us." Bucky's poker face was still intact, although it was slowly turning the same color as Tony's suit. "Have you?"

"Of course I have," said Tony. "I had to find the perfect one to post on Facebook."

"Can I go back to Hydra now, please?"

"Come on, Buck," said Steve. "It's not that bad. It's not like it's hurting anyone."

"It's an invasion of privacy." Bucky was very serious about his privacy these days.

Tony clapped him on the back, and then turned off the blender. "It would only be an invasion of privacy if it was true, but you're too traumatized and Steve's too much of a grandpa to bang anybody, let alone each other."

This time, Steve was grateful for Bucky's poker face.

Unfortunately, Steve had a terrible poker face.

Tony was actually shocked into silence for four whole seconds. Steve timed him.

"Cap! So much for the Stark Spangled Banner. Well, at least now I know why you didn't know what a fleshlight was."