Disclaimer: No own. No won. No now. No wno. No now. No onw. Gundam Wing or Sailor Moon. Gnmda Ngiw ro Sialro Mnoo. Nmdag Giwn ro Lo- ah forget it. P
Happy holiday season, everybody! :D And … umm … have fun on exams. :DDD This will be my holiday fic for you guys and my … ::cough:: "present". Lol … along with a ::muah:: xDxD It'll span until Christmas Day, one chapter per day. :D Have fun with fluff … that is currently nonexistent. xD And try to ignore the lame humor. :P
Prologue: Day One: [Three Days Before Christmas]
They said a sucker was born every minute.
Usagi had personally never counted herself in that category but what with her recent dilemma and random act of kindness, her mind was vaguely pondering the possibility of her being the sucker of one particular minute.
Christmas Eve was hardly forty-eight hours away. Her shopping and gifts list remained to be even touched for this year. The fridge was empty of any non fungi-infested food. The stench of the garbage and untidiness of the litter was beginning to make Luna claw petulantly at her bedspread.
Inside her stuffy, shaded room with closed blinds, Usagi found herself lying limply on her bed, a island in the sea of wadded up tissues, clear symbols of her, to this day, week long sickness.
She briefly indulged the idea that she had SARS.
Her boss had sounded as if she were wincing when Usagi had called in sick. And each time Usagi submitted to a barrage of hacking coughs, Ami would bless her, thinking that they were sneezes.
Usagi frowned. It would be funny if she weren't half praying for death to hurry up and come.
Her throat felt like the Sahara, she could hardly breathe through her nose, her ears popped every time she attempted to clear her breathing passage. And even through all this, God still wanted to punish her.
For who had to show up at her door other than him?
Usagi had responded upon her instinct and laughed manically at the sight of him before falling back onto her pillow and pondering suicide.
………………….
He had once heard the phrase that God was a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh but hadn't though twice about it when Duo had muttered it. Now he wished he had.
Hiiro scowled puzzledly at the faintly drizzling snow. It was three days from Christmas and the streets of New York City were filled with the activity of shoppers who had decided they had procrastinated too long. There was a charity Santa at almost every street corner and holiday tunes floated out of every shop. Happy chatter and the vague sense of anticipation filled the air, reminding Hiiro why exactly this was his most despised time of year.
He should have been suspicious when Duo, usually the prankster of their five-people unit, proposed that he go to an anonymous address as a challenge. Unfortunately, by then, Duo had already mastered the delicate and fine art of using his pride against him. Hiiro sighed to himself. When had the braided idiot become a genius?
He should have been suspicious as he approached this randomly chosen house and felt the faint nagging sensation in the back of his mind that something was wrong. He should have known throughout his life the value of his gut instinct and yet he moronically pushed onward, his pride acting as an invisible hand. Hiiro wondered if Duo's stupidity was rubbing off on him.
He should have been suspicious when the door indeed opened upon his turning of the doorknob in accordance to Duo's prediction yet still, suspicion never hit him.
It wasn't until he opened the door to the bedroom and saw her and the cat that hated his guts did suspicion hit him. The useless creature suspicion that was as punctual as the woman in front of him.
His blood turned to ice.
Hiiro began to ponder how small pieces Duo would have to be chopped into in order to be hidden effectively.
…………………
He didn't know how to respond when Usagi laughed, flopped back over in her bed, and remained silent. He cleared his throat uncomfortably as Luna scampered out of the room, briefly hissing at him. The entire room and floor was drowning in used Kleenexes and was almost transformed entirely into a biological weapon.
"I heard that you were sick," he lied. "Do you need help?"
Her voice came back, muffled and distorted. "It would help me if you left."
Hiiro frowned. Same old Usagi.
"I'm serious. I want to help." The words didn't sound genuine even to him.
She sat up and glared at him. "Why're you here? How did you get in here?"
He shifted but refused to budge under her glowering expression. "The door was unlocked. I let myself in."
"The nerve of you to-" She was interrupted by a round of loud coughs. "-to sneak into my house and-and … terrorize me while I'm sick!"
After five years of them, he was quite used to her harsh words but didn't refrain from narrowing his eyes. "If you don't want my help just say so. But it's your loss."
Usagi opened her mouth to retort but words refused to come out. She closed it soundlessly and stared apprehensively at her worst nightmare. She was in no position to refuse his offer and she evaluated her situation as she reached over slowly for another Kleenex and blew her nose loudly.
Tossing it carelessly on the floor, she sighed and shot him a defeated look. "I could use the help."
"Hn." He leaned against the doorframe, waiting for her to continue.
"However, no way am I going to be indebted to you. I'll pay you. Does ten dollars an hour sound fair?" She resisted the urge to lie back down and straightened instead, gazing at him through clear blue eyes. It took a truckload of willpower and energy.
She looked so tired. He almost felt guilty for charging her money, however minimal it was. "Sounds fair."
Usagi smiled faintly. "You can start by cleaning this house up." She debated whether or not to add the courteous "please" and decided against it, falling back onto her bed. She heard the faint whisper of his sigh before he exited the room, probably heading for the most devastated area: the kitchen.
…………………
Hiiro walked robotically through the living room and the dining room and stared numbly at the sink overflowing with coffee mugs. He had been surprised at the sight of dozens of mugs cluttering the coffee table. He had bypassed it, deciding to come back later, after perhaps dealing with more pressing matters such as the possibility of a roach-infested kitchen. Instead, he found a coffee mug-infested sink. Just how many damn mugs does this woman have? Hiiro shook his head incredulously.
The refrigerator door opened without protest and Hiiro stared at the sheer number of takeout Chinese food cartons. He had never known that Usagi had an affection for takeout Chinese food. Reaching for the first one, he sniffed it and paled, tossing it into the already overflowing garbage can.
He had a long way to go. After all, he had always left the house-cleaning to Quatre's maids.
This was perhaps going to be the longest day of his life.
…………………
Usagi sighed as Luna hopped onto her bed and purred at her. "You don't happen to know why Hiiro Yui is here in my house acting as my babysitter, do you, Luna?"
The cat almost seemed to bristle at the name.
Usagi rasped out a giggle and stroked Luna. "We're very similar, hmm? We both hate him."
Ever since her move to New York City and random bumping into Hiiro, she had hated him. She had met his friends and found herself wondering why they bothered to hang around a person like him. Quatre had tried to mend their relationship, making excuses for Hiiro along the lines of "he's truly very horrible with making good first impressions." Usagi had snorted at that statement and sarcastically bit out a "no kidding". Duo had seemed delighted at the idea of a comrade and partner in crime against Hiiro and had shared his plans of making Hiiro's life miserable with her. Usagi shook her head incredulously and smiled at the ceiling of her bedroom. It still amazed her that Wufei, Quatre, and Trowa called Duo and Hiiro best friends.
She had spent one Christmas with them but usually declined Quatre's invitations in order to spend time instead with the girls. Minako, Rei, Makoto, and Ami all lived in different areas of New York but she had grown up and attended college with them. Not to mention Ami was her boss. Usagi grinned. It was good to be on such good terms with one's boss.
She had never actually quite figured out exactly why she hated Hiiro Yui but something about him always brought the worst out of her. Usagi usually found herself at her most sarcastic and caustic around him, a strange side of her that she would never learn to appreciate.
The apartment was completely silent. Gulping down her Tylenol Flu, Usagi settled back in bed and decided to give up reminiscing and get some sleep.
…………………
The room didn't focus until she blinked her eyes at least ten times. The most distinguishable object in her line of vision was Hiiro, half bent down, picking up Kleenex's and looking up at her, facial expression like that of a Atkins dietee caught scarfing down a loaf of French bread. She blinked some more and glanced at the time.
"Wow. You work fast. Are you sure you don't want to charge more?" She attempted to soothe the annoyance whispering in the back of her mind. It came to her as if on instinct every time she laid eyes on him.
He straightened and feigned a look of disinterest. "I'm not interested in extortion."
She grinned sarcastically. "And you mean to tell me you're just here out of the kindness of your heart?"
Hiiro pinned her with a glare and tossed a wad of tissue paper into the nearby trashcan. "Well I'm certainly not here due to my love for you, am I?" he replied equally sarcastically, monotonous voice drumming out a steady and flat beat.
Usagi mirrored his glare but had to admit defeat when another fit of coughing struck her with vigor. By the time she got a hold of herself again, Hiiro had picked up half of the room and was looking faintly guilty.
She wrinkled her nose and pouted faintly, refusing to quell under the idea that Hiiro Yui might actually have a heart and a conscience.
By the time she looked up again, Hiiro was staring at her, expression a mixture of amusement and triumph. "And what might you want me to do with this?" He held up a peculiarly cut piece of clothing, a smirk tugging at the side of his mouth, and tossed it at her before exiting the room, closing the door after him
Usagi gulped and stared at what had landed in her lap. Her bra.
…………………
He scowled at the plate of food in his hands. Omelet: the only dish for which he could admit complete understanding and mastering. Hiiro had never realized how sad a life he led.
But he had not intention of starting now. And as he pushed the door to Usagi's room open once more, trepidation of more fighting, arguing, and the acidic taste of anger in the back of his throat weighing on his mind, he forced aside any regrets and murderous intentions toward the woman on the other side of the door out of his mind.
Her face almost seemed to glow at the sight of the plate in his hands. She accepted it gratefully and awarded him her first grin of the day.
"You're very easy to satisfy," he muttered as she beamed and started eating.
Usagi glanced up at him briefly, unwilling to let go of the food in her mouth. Hiiro pushed aside the random mental note of how cute she looked in that position, gazing almost starry-eyed at the food in her lap.
"Hey, you haven't been living off Chinese food for the last two years," she mumbled through a mouthful of eggs.
He cleared his throat and forced his eyes away from her adorable albeit strange hairstyle and accusing wide blue eyes. "I finished cleaning the house. Is there anything else you want me to do?"
Usagi's jaw dropped as she stared at him. "You finished cleaning this house?" She smiled faintly. "You must be Super-Maid or something."
His first thought was to retort with "And you must want to die or something" but it was difficult even for him to bring himself to threaten a person so enchanted with his limited cooking skills.
Usagi's eyes widened and brightened as a devious thought struck her. Hiiro might be above extortion, but I certainly am not. She grinned. "I haven't done any of my holiday shopping yet. I'll make a list for you."
She mentally cackled to herself. Her worst enemy was still so very innocently oblivious to the horror she'll wreak upon his life.
Usagi congratulated herself for being a genius at Hiiro-torture, mentally thanking Duo for his tutoring.
"The stores are no longer open." He felt like adding a bitter "genius" to that but settled for twisting his voice derisively.
Usagi's face noticeably fell as she sighed.
Oh well. There's always tomorrow.
"Which room should I stay in for the night?"
His abrupt change of topics startled her but his question startled her even more as she processed it. Usagi squeaked and blinked at him. A violent fit of coughs attacked her as she fought to catch her breath. When the storm passed, she glowered up at him. Hiiro had moved an inch from his spot five feet away from her to help her. She could have died with him standing stock still, five feet away from her. And he probably would have laughed.
"You can stay in the room one door down from mine." Usagi congratulated herself. It was the room she rarely touched, frilled with lace and ribbon, from when her mother was still living with her for some not-going-to-happen future grandchild of hers.
"You should have a child, Usagi dear, and give him to me. A boy would be nice … but a girl would be fun too … maybe you'll have twins!"
"W-what?! I don't even have a boyfriend yet!"
"I don't care. Start making grandchildren! As many as you can!"
"…You talk as if I'm a baby-making machine…"
She could almost imagine Hiiro's mental scream when he sees the room.
"Good night!" she called to him in a sing-song voice. There was no reply. She made a face in his general direction but settled down with Luna under the covers for sleep. Tomorrow, after all, held so many possibilities.
…………………
Yay! Finally done. No cliffhangers. At all, hopefully. :D I want you guys to be happy in this holiday season. :D So this will be a quick, short piece … novelette-ish if you could call something so unrefined a novelette. ;-; But there you go. :D Stay tuned next time for Day Two! [two days before Christmas!!!] And hopefully a bit more fluff. xD And exaggerated, pathetic attempts at humor. ;-; Yours, Angel.