Not all scars show, not all wounds heal. Sometimes you can't always see the pain someone feels.
--
The happier you felt, the more you isolated yourself. The more you cried, another scare would appear, the blood would trickle down your arm, making you feel nauseas. The amount of pain behind the fake mask that you have on, would soon disappear, the tears you cried because no one was around to help you. The make-up you wore to protect anybody from finding the scares, and bruises.
The door that would slam after her walked in through the door around 8 o'clock, it would also make you on edge, as if he was coming up to give you another beating, or yet to rape you. He hasn't touched you like that, yet. But, you fear soon he is going to do it, as you've just turned sixteen, and on the day of your birthday he did in fact threaten you with rape.
Your mother, she knows. She knows the truth, and she chooses to ignore it, and you feel hurt that she doesn't do anything about it. To be honest, you think that's the only thing that does really hurt you the most, is that she knows, and doesn't care. It makes you feel sick.
The day he walks in your room, and has a condom in one hand and a bottle of jelly in the other hand, it makes you petrified. You try to run, and scream, but you know your mother will choose to ignore it, as she has done all these years, he isn't even your father, just somebody she brought home one night. But, you are forced to call him dad, unwillingly, because if you don't, you get another beating.
He grabs you and slams you to the bed, knocking the breath out of you, you are shaking with fear and he rips your skirt off, and then rips your underwear off. He soon, is out of his trousers, and his manhood is showing. He rubs some jelly between your legs, and rolls the condom on to his length. You are still shaking, violently shaking. He puts a hand over your mouth, and lowers himself level to you, and puts his mouth next to your ear, whispering in it.
"I'm going to ram myself so hard into you; you're not going to be able to walk for a month."
And that's exactly what he did.
--
The next three months have been a living hell; the rape does now come at around 3-4 times a day. It seems as if the sexual frustration he has is now being taken out on you. When your mother would go to the shop, he would slam against the couch and take you right there, and all you could do was last it out. Your mother advised him that you should be on the pill, and that's exactly what they did to you, took you to the doctors and put you on one. So, now he doesn't even have to worry about getting a condom out.
School has become a living hell since the bruises, even though he doesn't mark your face, just to hide suspicion, people can still see the scars on your wrists, and the obvious hurt in your eyes. The teachers look down at you concern eyes, but you choose to ignore them, there's one guy in your class that you like, but you know you could never be with him, as he would probably kill you for having a boyfriend. So, when one day he approaches you in the hallway, you simply tell him you cannot go out with him on Friday, as you have other plans, but you know he can see you're lying.
So at around half seven on Friday, you shocked to see he is standing at your front door step, asking you what is wrong, as your eyes are red and puffy, and new bruises are visible on your face. He tells you to go get some clothes to change into, and you do as you're told, luckily, he has gone back out, and your mother is at work. You grab a lot of clothes, hoping this is your way out of everything.
You run back to the door, and see he is waiting in his car for you, you run down the path and into his front seat, next to him. The ride to his house is quiet.
As soon as you arrive at his house, he calls out to his mother. His mother comes in and gasps at the sight of you. The blood is drying up and the newly fresh purple bruises are forming.
"What happened to you?" She asks, horror still on her face, and soon enough you are spilling out to Shane and his mother what happened to you for the last eight or so years. You tell them everything, never missing a detail, on you've wanted is somebody that cared, and now you think you are finally getting it, even though it isn't off of the person you want it off, but you truly do understand that you will never get comfort off of your mother, as she does not want to give it to you. This is why, for so many years, she has let this man torture you, and put you through hell, making your life a feared one, and emotionless one.
"We have to report this to the police," Mrs Gray says to you, but you shake your head. You do not want anybody to know what has happened to you, as they will look at you with sympathy, in which they haven't had that for the last couple of years. You don't want the pitiful looks either, as they will remind you of everything that has happened in your life.
"You have to get away here honey," Mrs Gray says, "it will be easier on you, and that man will never be able to touch you again."
"Where will I go, I have no one to live with, my grandmother has died, my grand-dad died ages ago, and the rest of my family will most likely send me back to that place," You cry out, the tears flowing down your cheeks.
"I didn't say you have to go to a relative, you are coming with us," as soon as she said that, Shane and you both snap your heads around to her, in complete shock.
"What, you don't expect me to leave you here with that vile thing. I could never do that to a person, let alone to someone who my son has fallen in love with," She replies, and your eyes go wide, and Shane blushes, and you look at him shocked, he loves you?
"Mom," You hear Shane whine, and you laugh at him, he sounds like a little kid.
"What dear, I was only speaking the truth," She laughs a little as well, but soon turning back into the serious tone she once had.
"You are coming, and I don't want to hear a single complaint off of you." You can't help but cry again, somebody is willing to help you, and you've only just met. You embrace the middle-aged woman into a hug, and mumble a thank you. She waves you off and sends you up into the guest bedroom.
--
The day you move into the new house with Shane and his family, you are happy that you're away from the thing. But, when you walk out the new house to go to the shop, you freeze, he's there, probably looking for you, you think. You try to cover yourself with your jacket, by putting the hood up and walking the other way, but you know, you know he's seen you and if your being honest, you are so scared right now, because for one Shane isn't around to protect you. He is like your shadow now, after all.
You turn the corner, not really paying attention that it's a dead end, you carry on walking to the end of the road, you turn around and your eyes meet his, you try to scream but nothing comes out.
"So, this is where you've been fucking hiding?" He says. His voice dangerously low, make you shiver. You shake your head. You want to get out of here, to hide, to be in Shane's arm, where you feel safe.
He pushes you up against the wall, roughly, hurting you. You wince as your body comes in contact with the wall. He goes to un-buckle your trouser, but you try to push his hands away, you don't want this again. You want to be left alone, to have somewhere where you can home and not have to worry that he's at the next corner.
He pulls your hands away, sharply and slaps you straight across your face, his hand coming in contact with your now cold cheeks. He undoes your trousers, sticking his hand inside of them, and them. By now, tears are flowing done your cheeks, like a hot river. He rubs his hands over your folds, and them pushes one finger inside of you, you close your eyes and wait for this to be over.
His hands are roughly pulled out of you and you snap your head up to see he is on the floor, Shane hovering him, anger visible on his face.
"You fucking touch again and I'll see your coffin within the week," Shane says, venom dripping off of every word. He looks over to you, eyes clouding over in concern; he grabs you, roughly pulling you out of the alleyway.
By the time you are home, you are emotionally unstable, tears are pouring out everywhere and your clutching to Shane as if your life depends on it, and at this point, it does.
--
Seven years later, and that man has not once dared to look for you after the last attack, as you did eventually file a police report, and the police arrested him about 24 hours after he tried to rape you again. He is now in prison for the things he did to you, and to god knows who else.
You went with the Gray's and lived with them for so many years, but recently you have bought a house of your own, with Shane of course, he is now your fiancé.
The two of you became quite close after a few months, and soon became a couple, although you know everyone was expecting it.
You haven't reminisced of the past, because of the simple fact you want to forget what that man did to you, and what you mother didn't do.
It weren't the beatings that hurt you emotionally, it wasn't the rape either. It was your mother, all you wanted was somebody to love you, even if you have that now, you didn't have it back when you were with her. You wanted a mother to help you with your homework, to bake cookies, and to kiss your scars better and also, to make that man stop doing what he was doing to you. But she couldn't give that to you, and you sometimes wonder why she even had a child if she couldn't look after it.
So now, you move on with your life, as you have somebody to love, you have people who would be at the hospital if you were to cut yourself too deeply. You have people who love you.
--
I just had to re-edit this, I added more in, and it just felt bare to me. Hope you like it.
So I was reading the book, 'Mummy Knew', and this is inspired off of that. If you haven't already, then do go read that book, it was such an emotion thing that the person went through, and I seriously cannot believe she came out so strong in the end.
This is based off of that book, but some ideas are mine. I've just stole a few ideas ;) I felt absolutely sick writing the part where he is about rape her, it was vile, and just plain disgusting for me to write, but I did it. And I'm happy with the outcome of this.
My beta hasn't re-done this for me, so sorry for any grammar mistakes, and such.
Review please...