On some level, the cloudless, sunny sky seemed unnatural given the day, but as Harry stared at Dumbledore's headstone, it somehow felt right. Sunlight and community –wasn't that what the man had fought for? He'd avoided the grave since the war's end. He had far too many emotions, confusing, complicated emotions, surrounding the man, but the savior of the Wizarding World couldn't miss the 5 year anniversary of Dumbledore's death.
The crowd cleared quietly. Most couldn't get past their tears and barely even seemed to notice Harry. A few of the Weasleys glared and he considered going to talk to them, but knew it wasn't the time or place. Ginny hadn't come –probably so that she wouldn't have to see him. Though it had been a few months since his…eruption, he still couldn't believe he'd done it. They'd been arguing for a while, but something snapped that day when he came home from the Auror Academy and the place was a mess. She wanted her friends around, her teammates even, and that night she'd thrown a small gathering. When Harry walked into the room, wanting nothing more than a drink and a good night's sleep, and found himself staring at the entire team as they erupted into whispers, he'd had words. In retrospect, he knew he'd overreacted by throwing them all out, by throwing Ginny out, but in that moment anger had simply consumed him.
He looked around and took count of who was there again. Most everyone he'd expected to see had come, but one person in particular apparently hadn't felt the need to bother. Snape's absence shouldn't have frustrated Harry to the extent it did –they were both reluctant heroes, both recluses—but if he, Harry Potter had been required to make an appearance, then Snape should've too. Hermione walked in his direction and he gently thumbed his fingers over the parchment in his pocket as he turned to face her.
The parchment never left his person, though he often felt foolish for having kept it. During his 6th year, when he'd had the Prince's book, he'd secretly removed a page. It wasn't anything special or important, just a small poem. Knowing it was Snape's should have changed things, but he felt like they were his words and felt no desire to let it go.
"Hermione," he said quietly.
She gave the smallest smile before clearing her throat. "How are you, Harry?" she didn't wait for his answer before continuing. "Ginny's…well, she's seeing a healer."
Harry nodded –it didn't seem like something he was supposed to ask about. "You and Ron still getting married, then? We haven't spoken in a while."
Hermione frowned and puffed her cheeks out a moment. "I don't know how Ginny's going to feel when she returns from the healer, but if she contacts you, because she might, she really does love you…just please be kind…and understanding." She turned her head toward Ron and then back. "I should go, but Harry…." He tried not to glare as he met her gaze. "You should get yourself some help." Before Harry could answer, Hermione spun on her heel and returned to Ron's side.
Perhaps he'd wrongly expected things to go better, but Harry found himself furious. Furious at Hermione for confronting him, furious at Ron for not speaking to him, furious at Snape for not showing up. As he stood there fuming, he realized that only one of his frustrations could be confronted in that moment.
Without speaking a word to anyone, he apparated. As Harry well knew, the Ministry hadn't been able to keep tabs on Snape. Hell, it had taken days after the battle's end for anyone to realize he'd survived. In the 4 years since the war's end, the man had been seen just a handful of times. Harry, however, knew exactly where Snape was. After things had calmed down and he'd recovered from the war, Harry had spent a small fortune to find Snape and accidently led reporters to the house. They hadn't discussed then why Harry had felt the need to know where Snape was. Nor had they any of the times Snape had moved and alerted Harry to his change in address. It was something just between them, a secret, much like the memories. Though, Harry had never actually visited. The things he'd wanted to say had never been said. He supposed a small part of him just took comfort in knowing where Snape was.
He knocked harshly at the door until it swung open. "May I help you?" Snape hissed as he stepped aside and ushered Harry in.
Harry opened his mouth and then closed it before casually looking around. "Nice place."
"It functions," Snape muttered as he walked by. "Whisky?"
"I guess," Harry replied as he followed. He took a seat in the sitting room and let his head clear while Snape poured drinks. "I shouldn't have come."
Snape growled as he passed a tumbler over. His hair was short and he was barely recognizable. Harry was certain he wouldn't have recognized the man on the streets. "Then why did you come, Potter?" he asked as he checked the window facing the street.
Harry blushed and sipped the whisky. "Uck," he muttered as he let his sip dribble back into the cup. "Sorry, I, uh, prefer honey." Snape raised a single eyebrow and snapped his fingers. Suddenly the liquid in Harry's glass changed from fireball to honey. "Thanks. I wasn't followed this time." He took a long sip. "You skipped the anniversary. I thought you'd come."
"I do not see why it concerns you," Snape said slowly. "I gave Albus my entire adult life –even now, I am not free of him. Why should I attend such frivolous events when his passing affected me the most? Albus Dumbledore is the reason I cannot set foot in public."
"I know," Harry whispered. "This isn't even about you." He shrugged. "You're just the only person I'm capable of having a good rut with." After a long silence, he continued. "Ginny and I broke up. I don't know if you get the Prophet."
Snape checked the window again. "I do not. It was how they found me last time."
Another blush rose on Harry's cheeks. Some asshole had set fire to Snape's previous house and the Aurors had decided not to bother investigating, despite Harry's arguments. "Yeah. I don't much like having company at home, you know? Of course you know. The only person who knows where to find you is me." He finished off his whisky and smiled when his glass refilled. "Hermione…. Some shit about Ginny seeing a healer today. None of them are talking to me and I was annoyed that you didn't come." They shared a long glance before Harry cleared his throat and looked at his surroundings. "Really is a nice place. What are you doing now?"
The look on Snape's face was cold, calculating. "Curious. A healer you say?" he clicked his tongue before refocusing. "I don't currently have an income. Before the last…." He didn't need to say for Harry to understand he was referring to his house being attacked. "I had a mail-order business as you well know. I've managed off savings alone. Perhaps I will find something to do once the money runs out."
"I guess," Harry said softly. "We both know it's safer for you not to." He finished off his glass and wobbled slightly as he stood. More likely than not, he'd overstayed his welcome.
"You cannot expect me to believe that this interaction was all you came for," Snape said as he stood.
Harry shrugged. There wasn't much point in bringing up things better left far in the past. "I see no reason not to just start over," he said quietly. "I'm Harry Potter," he said as he extended his hand.
Snape stared at the hand. "No. Not here. If that is what you wish…." He glanced at the window. "10 tonight –there's a bar a few streets over. Cowboys."
Excitement surged through Harry as he nodded. They would start over, put the years of mutual loathing behind them. Maybe he would even meet the Prince. "I'll be there."
-:-:-:-
Harry ordered a drink and couldn't help but smile as he sat at the bar. It felt…dirty, playful. Since when was Snape capable of playful? Somebody leaned against the bar next to him and ordered. Harry turned to check the door and heard the man at the bar clear his throat. "Can I buy you a drink?"
A small blush rose in Harry's cheeks as he turned to face the man. "I guess." He held Snape's stare and then extended his hand. "I'm Harry."
"Severus," Snape replied with a nod. He didn't shake Harry's hand. "How about a game of pool?"
Harry didn't say anything as he followed. He hadn't known what to wear –bars weren't his scene –but he'd noticed Snape noticing his form-fitting jeans. They rested their drinks on a table and selected their cues. He wasn't naïve enough to believe there wasn't…subtext. And there weren't any women in the bar, just men talking and rubbing against each other. The whole scenario was a come-on. It was reminiscent of the fantasies of his 6th year. He and the Prince would casually meet and Harry would be seduced by brilliance and snark.
He watched Snape set the balls and adjusted the cue in his grip. He couldn't ever remember having played pool and Snape would probably win. "You can break," Snape said as he rounded the table.
"Sure," Harry muttered. He bent over a little and slid the cue between his fingers. A hand pressed against the small of his back.
"Like this," Snape said as he moved Harry's grip and pressed just slightly against him. When he moved, Harry missed the warmth. "You're stripes." Snape was methodical as he moved and sunk his first ball. The next he missed.
Harry eyed the table carefully. "Do you come here often?"
"I like the crowd." He rested up against the table next to Harry. "Is the crowd to your liking, Harry?"
The ball Harry hit bounced off the side away from the hole he'd aimed at. "I'm new in town," he shrugged, "just looking for…something. Tall, mysterious…sensitive."
"Sensitive?" Snape asked as he sunk another ball. "Not sensual? Perhaps you might find more luck with a woman."
"Don't be an ass," Harry joked as he missed again. "And you? What are you looking for?"
Snape rubbed his forearm. The tattoo covered over where the Dark Mark had been and Harry rather liked the look of it. Snape feathered his fingers over Harry's hip and breathed against his ear. "Adventure."
Harry turned his face toward those lips and moaned slightly. His Half-Blood Prince was pressed against him, seducing him. Their lips met. What they were doing was dangerous, as he well knew. Homosexuality was still a crime in the Wizarding World, after all. "Fuck me," he whispered as their lips parted for just a second.
They walked at a normal pace back to Snape's place and kept a respectable distance between them. When they entered, Harry looked around, just as before. "Nice place."
Snape gently kissed the skin under Harry's ear. "Would you like to see the rest of it?" Harry nodded and then followed, slightly dazed. Their lips met again and Harry felt his magic swell. His core had been relatively inactive since the war's end –Hermione suspected his ability to use it was correlated to adrenaline and cortisol output.
As their kiss ended, Snape nudged their noses and palmed Harry's abs. "I have some scars," he whispered.
"I'm a cozzer," Harry replied softly, "a detective. I have more scars and bruises than I know what to do with." He pulled at Snape's shirt until it was off and licked his lips as he stared. There were indeed massive, painful-looking scars. "Can I touch you?"
Instead of answering, Snape rubbed Harry's hand over his chest and let him get a feel for it. Harry barely noticed as Snape backed him against a wall and removed his shirt. He was too focused on touching and the feel of the man's lips on his neck. The Prince was the only man he'd ever desired, so he'd never given too much thought to things, but in that moment he was prepared for anything. Snape kissed down his stomach as he undid his pants.
Harry gasped as he watched Snape swallow him in. "That is so hot," he muttered as he ran his fingers through Snape's short hair. It was greasy, but Harry didn't mind with all the sweat on his hands. He moaned loudly and threw his head back in response to whatever Snape's tongue was doing. "I'ma…I'm going to cum," he warned. He shifted his hips as something deep inside him throbbed with pleasure. As he shifted again, he realized the pleasure was coming from a few fingers in his bum. A yelp left his mouth as he shot down Snape's throat. The fingers continued moving and Harry wondered if Snape was waiting for an invitation. "Fuck me!" he ordered.
"Indeed," Snape said with raised eyebrows as he stepped back. He took Harry's hand and tugged. "Position?"
"Ride you," Harry said as he pushed Snape back and crawled into his lap. He wanted, needed to feel stretched again. While Snape shifted, Harry gently touched him. Having it in him was going to feel so good. He straddled the man and began aligning things.
"Wait!" Snape hissed. He tore open a condom and quickly wrapped himself. Once that was done, he dribbled some lube onto his erection and grabbed Harry's hips.
Harry nodded, slightly concerned that he'd gotten distracted enough to forget that. He held the base of Snape's cock as he slowly lowered himself. Being filled like that felt so incredible –why had he not tried it before? He squeezed his thighs and gluteal muscles as he raised his hips and then slammed himself back down. "So good."
They didn't go more than 10 minutes and Harry was surprised they both lasted so long. He gently dismounted Snape and collapsed to the bed. He'd never done the one-night thing before, but from what he'd heard, falling asleep wasn't usually frowned upon. In just a moment, he was sound asleep.
-:-:-:-
Harry woke early the next morning and it all rushed back to him. On the anniversary of Dumbledore's death he'd accidently fulfilled one of the man's wishes and gotten along with Snape. He heard Snape's snores and cringed. It was so awkward. Hot and incredible, totally spontaneous too. But…. There was a reason he'd never been with a man before. Only the Prince had ever appealed to him. It wasn't something in his 5 year plan.
As quietly as he could, he moved to the shower to rinse the sweat and ejaculate off his body. His feelings of dirty and playful had been replaced by dirty and shameful. The worst part was probably that he'd led Snape on. Was there a decent way to ask forgiveness for that?
He reentered the bedroom to find it empty. The bed was made and his clothes were folded. "I'm sorry, but I'm not gay," he practiced as he dressed, "it was brilliant, but…. But it can't happen again. Or, I…I just don't want a relationship with you. Shit!" He growled as he turned toward the door –Snape deserved something better. His stomach dropped when he saw that Snape was standing in the door. "You heard that?"
Snape smiled softly. "I do not need my feelings spared. Honestly, I am rather surprised you stayed the night." He growled as he pushed off the door and walked forward. "It was a night of passion between strangers and…" he rolled his eyes as he looked away. "This is the most interesting thing that's happened to me in years. The isolation has…."
Harry bit into his lip unitl there was blood and then wiped it away. He looked to the bed and back. "No hard feelings? It's just that I actually like the guy I met last night." He met Snape's gaze. "I'd really like to be his friend."
"If you'd like," Snape said as he gently rested his arms on Harry's shoulders. "I am not offended now. I will not be offended if this is never mentioned again. Nor will I be offended if you come around for another shag. I do not do anything other than casual. Understood?"
"Yeah," Harry said with a small smile. "I have work, but if you ever need anything, like groceries…. No you shouldn't owl." He paused. "We'll figure something out. I can get a phone." Instead of responding, Snape just walked out and left Harry to find the door.
-:-:-:-
Harry walked up Snape's yard with an armful of groceries not even a week later. He told himself that it was his sense of duty, or maybe boredom, anything other than desire. After knocking, he checked over his shoulder so that it wouldn't look like he was too desperate for the door to open. When it did he stepped through before Snape even really got a look at him. "I stopped off at the store," he said as he put the package on the table.
"Is something wrong?" Snape asked as he dug through the bag. He pulled out the package of condoms and flapped it. "Subtle."
A bright red blush overtook Harry's features. "Those…well they're for me –newly single and all, thought I might experiment. I've never used them before." He gulped. "Forgot they were in there." Snape tossed them aside. Harry tried to ignore the disappointed look on Snape's face. "Does there need to be something wrong?"
Snape frowned as he carried the first group of items to the kitchen. "Your return is a pleasant surprise."
Harry didn't say anything as he seated himself on the sofa and emptied his carrier bag. He'd brought some current cases that he thought Snape would enjoy looking through. Snape eventually placed a cuppa on the table but walked back to the kitchen instead of sitting. "Come look at this," he called after the man.
The way Snape froze reminded Harry of his old professor. "For what purpose?"
Harry sighed as he set the file aside. "I brought some things for you to look through, but you obviously don't want company." He stood, but Snape pushed him back down. It was then that he realized. Maybe it was his presence, or his mistake leaving the condoms in the bag, regardless something had made Snape go hard. The evidence was near at hand. He opened his mouth to apologize and was overwhelmed by memories of that glorious cock inside him. "Fuck me," he ordered as he stood.