It was a cold winter's night, the fifth of October, and a blonde haired woman sat, simply sitting, a glass of bourbon in her badly groomed hand. With a blanket wrapped tightly around her shoulders as her eyes sat fixed, as they had for the last three hours, on a small head of brown hair. She had mused a couple of times, whether it was even worth her having gotten the glass of alcohol, as not even a drop had touched her lips since she had gotten it, two hours ago. That was the only time she left the room, the only time she stopped staring intently at the small figure, seeming to be hiding under two quilts, and a knitted blanket with purple ribbon.
After everything she'd been through, after all the hardships she'd overcome throughout the years, it was always this moment, these couple of hours that had her take pause. It all brought her back to the decision she'd had to make at this exact time four years ago. It was all worth it, all the tears, all the pain, and all the smiles. Everything had seemingly become worth it three years ago, with a wobbled step, and a simple opening and closing around the lick of one word. As 'mama' tumbled from tiny, plump, red lips, a smile became her fate. A truly happy smile. A true smile; something she had only ever cracked six times in her life. With a breath, with a cry, with a smile, with a laugh, with a step, and with a word. After that, true smiles had come upon her, but nothing could combat those six smiles which had once before crossed her features, leaving only a whisper of a tug in their wake, and a tear on her cheek.
And so now she sat, waiting for that moment of memory, her first memory of the first true smile, to hit her. Two-fifty-seven in the morning. Only ten minutes to go now. She sat, watching the clock as it turned over. Nine more minutes, and then eight, and then seven, and so on. And finally after what felt like a lifetime of waiting, finally the clock struck three-o-seven in the morning.
With a quick, gaping cheeked mouthful of bourbon, the glass was empty, the chair sat un-occupied, and the knitted blanket was lifted. Taking a moment to run her fingers over the sewn word, 'Emma' she wondered where the stitches had been sewn, and by whom, they had come to be, who had given the instructions, she often wandered, for the letters to be sewn in that order, bringing her name to life. It sat, quietly looking upon its owner and the most important thing in her world. When she was content that it was all meant to be, she had passed that one, weak moment where her doubts came to the surface and everything seemed daunting, unsure, she pulled away the other blankets from the little, skinny form curled up.
A small whimper echoed through the tiny, cold apartment, and turned into a sigh as the knitted cover encased him in the warmth it offered, however small the amount should be. After it was tightly wrapped around the little boy, Emma pulled him up and into her arms, sighing contently as her whole body gave into the wholeness of the moment, and simply resigned to the feeling of him in her arms, of somebody else's life in her arms.
With her little man wrapped up in her arms, Emma took the steps required to reach her bedroom. When she was finally inside the dark room, she stepped over to her bed, the queen-sized mattress seeming so huge when compared to the little form curled into her shoulder, his arms peeking out of the blanket and wrapping around her neck in a vice grip. As she lowered them both to the bed, she got her moment, that momentary flash of a blood-covered baby, squealing in discomfort until it was deposited in the nervous teen's arms, and she knew, just knew that this was her future, her happy ending.
Both forms fell on the bed and the smaller of the two curled into his mothers arm. "Happy birthday Henry, I'm glad you're mine forever."
The sun was bright as it peeked through the closed curtains, though the light still managed to spread over the two sets of eyes which lay, resting peacefully, one upon a pillow, and another on his mother's chest with his arms curled tightly around her form. The woman groaned and moved around, burying her head in the pillow, and tucking her son tighter in her arms, to which he grasped her sleep shirt in his small fists tighter. "Shhh" she calmed and he did so, laying his head on her arm and burying his nose in her hair, light snoring beginning again. A couple of minutes passed, and with it the sun rose higher, cutting more brutally through the curtains and covering more of the woman's eyes. She groaned again, rolling over to face the morning with blurry eyes and messy hair which covered part of her face.
"Mommy, no." Henry groaned as he shied away from the light, urging her to cover his eyes as he pulled the knit blanket tighter around him, holding both corners together tightly at his chest with one hand while the other was occupied due to his thumb being in his mouth. "No getting' up yet." His face burrowed to the side of her breast and she remembered when he was a baby and would nuzzle her chest, though that was for an entirely different reason.
Emma rubbed a hand soothingly down the back of his head, reveling in the softness of his short hair. "You want mommy to close the blinds, or you wanna get up and have your presents?" she questioned softly, knowing that he would want to get up and have his gifts.
The little boy rolled more onto his side so he could see if he chose to open his eyes, "Huh?" he asked while mumbling around his thumb as there weren't many moments where it wasn't in his mouth.
"Happy birthday baby boy." She smiled and kissed his forehead, "Big four today." It seemed like such a little time ago that she was pushing with all her might while the doctors told her that she needed to try as hard as possible, 'he mightn't have made it' she thought. The doctors had been very clear; she was supposed to have a cesarean because she wasn't old enough, her body wasn't prepared; add on the top of all of it that her little man was all too eager to come into the world.
Henry clearly wasn't too eager to enter the world of wakefulness as he shook his head and borrowed into his Mom's side, his little hand curling around her shirt; blanket seemingly forgotten. "You take me to my presents?" he requested innocently with a slight rise of his eyebrows which elicited a small laugh from Emma.
"Sure."
She conceded as she scooped him up in her arms, his astronaut sleep suit covered arms and legs curled around her body and then pointed dramatically over her shoulder at the bed "Lankie!" He demanded anxiously and Emma almost did a backbend trying to get it while still holding her son in place.
A small laugh bubbled up in her as she tucked the blanket securely in between their bodies to which Henry sighed and leaned his head more on her shoulder. "Why of course, can't forget Blankie, can we?" she joked. Henry shook his head and she once again kissed the side of his head.
The trip to the lounge room was a short one as the apartment was so tiny, and she decided to give him a little more time to wake up and headed for the kitchen, switching on the kettle and setting up the coffee maker with a new filter, fresh grinds, and a full carafe of water. "C'mon buddy, wake up." She rubbed his back and tried to sit him on the counter to which he leant forward, resting his head on her chest and rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. His eyes fluttered open a minute later and immediately squinted against the harsh light coming through the wall sized window behind him. "Bit bright?" she asked him, to which he nodded and rubbed his eyes some more.
Finally he was awake enough to look around and furrowed his brow as he noticed the kitchen, and wondered why they were in there when he always got his presents in the lounge room. "Mommy, why we here?" he asked, hand now going back to his blanket and mouth, seeing as he was no longer holding onto Emma.
"Well" she began, spinning around to the counter and picking up a container, spinning back to face Henry with the can in her hand, and continuing with her thought, more enthusiastically than before. "I thought that the big birthday boy might want some hot chocolate?" she questioned with a big grin, waving the tin of chocolate shavings in his face and tickling his sides.
Henry bounced on the spot, the biggest grin of the week splitting his face in two, "Yes, yes, yes!" he shrieked with a giggle, reaching for the tin which Emma removed from his reach. The shavings had cost her the good part of ten dollars but she was reassured by the woman at the café that it would make the best hot chocolate she had ever tasted, and that was exactly what she wanted for her son's first real cup of her favorite non-alcoholic drink.
"Which cup you want?" she asked, holding up a blue sippy cup with cars on the side, and a plastic camping mug which looked as if it was ceramic. Henry took his time, after a while he pointed to the blue cup, obviously choosing to use his favorite cup over a 'grown-ups cup' as Emma called it. "Good choice." She reassured, turning to place a teaspoon of the shavings in the bottom of the cup, and filled the cup a third of the way with boiling water. She made sure the chocolate was well and truly melted and mixed before adding the milk she got out of the fridge. With the top screwed tight and a reassurance that it was cool enough to not burn his eager mouth, she handed the cup to her son, watching her suck down a good mouthful before his eyes widened and mouth fell open, a couple of drops falling on his pajamas. She wondered concernedly for a minute if maybe it was too hot, until he grinned around the spout and hummed in appreciation. "Good?" she asked and his head bopped around happily. "Want your presents?" she asked, his head bopped again and he reached out for her to help him down from the counter. A couple of steps away, she tried to set him on his feet but he protested with a grunt and frown. "Lazy little man." She smiled, poking his side which caused him to laugh and spray a small amount of milk onto Emma's top and his own clothes.
She put him down on the couch when they got to the lounge room, and he sat with his blanket by his side and sippy cup still securely in his mouth while she moved over to the corner of the room that had a banner which said 'Happy birthday Henry.' In big blue letters which she'd spent hours painting earlier that week. There was a pile of presents piled underneath it, all wrapped in hues of blue, red, and brown, some of the more important ones in Superman paper. She took the presents over to him, piling them up on the floor in front of him with a smile as his grin grew.
"What one you want first?" she asked when they were all in front of him. His small hand flew out and pointed to a smallish box wrapped in Superman paper.
She handed him the box, and took his drink after he tossed it on the couch, making her glad that she'd brought the leather couches instead of the suede ones she'd been looking at. He ripped at the paper aggressively to reveal a green and blue handheld leapfrog game. His eyes widened and he squealed while he flung himself on his mother in a hug. "Keep going." She instructed, waving him towards the stack. It always happened that she would hand him the first present and then he would end up just picking them out for himself. She got her camera, catching his grin as he opened four games for his leapfrog; Ninja Turtles, Superman, Batman, and Spiderman, and his frown as he unwrapped a couple of pieces of clothing; two new pairs of footie pajamas, jocks and socks, tops, and a few pairs of pants for the new cool weather that had rolled in.
It got to ten o'clock and Emma scooted him towards the shower where they both climbed in, Henry sitting in the adjoining tub to play in the water from the shower where Emma was washing her hair. She leaned him from head to toe; washing his hair, his body, brushing his tiny teeth, and even wiping at his face gently at his demand after watching her scrub at her 22 year old face which still needed cleanser. They both clambered out of the room, Emma wrapped in a slightly too small white towel while Henry was snuggled in a yellow towel with a hood adorned with a ducks face on it. It took longer for Emma to get Henry dressed than it normally did as today required him to wear nicer clothes.
Henry was dressed in a long sleeved white polo shirt, with a navy blue cardigan over the top, covering all but the collar of the shirt, dark blue jeans, and as a bit of whimsy, his brand new green Hulk Vans. Emma simply wore a white t-shirt with her thick woolen lined leather jacket over the top, and her usual jeans and boots. They exited the apartment and after locking the door, Emma knelt down to slip Henry's winter jacket onto his little torso, zipping it tight when it was pulled snug, and handed back his Leapfrog which he hadn't put down since Emma had turned it on for him.
They exited the apartment building hand-in-hand and made their way over to Emma's bug where she bucked Henry into the car seat in the back, and tucked his Blankie around his legs. As she drove, keeping her eyes glued to the road, Henry sat in the back, tapping and pressing buttons aimlessly on his game, not yet knowing how to use it, and not willing to relinquish it long enough for Emma to explain even the simplest of games. The road seemed as if it went on forever as Emma drove for the fifteen minutes it took to reach their destination.
They both exited the bug and made their way up the road towards the café they had been meeting at for years, which only took a couple of minutes, but like the drive, seemed longer as Emma took smaller steps so her son could keep up with her as his tiny legs worked double time, one hand clasped firmly in Emma's and the other clamped around his Leapfrog. They were almost to the café when Emma spotted the woman they were meeting. She stopped and crouched down to Henry's level, pointing out the woman with a simple, "Look who it is."
Henry's eyes lit up like the fourth of July and he took off in a mad sprint, squealing as he went, "Momma, Momma! Wook what I dot!" His arm was waving madly though the air and showing off his as he went, he was almost close enough to the woman for her to scoop him into her waiting arms when he tripped on a piece of uneven concrete and tumbled to the ground, his new toy bouncing along the ground. Both women sprinted in his direction, the older woman getting to him first and picking him up before he could get past the shock and start crying. As soon as he was in her arms he started screaming, big tears running down his cheeks as he held his hands away from his body. Emma made it to them just before he started crying, taking the time to pick up his birthday present and brush it off, thanking whoever decided to make it shock and water proof, as the only damage was a couple of mild grazes to the squishy bit on the outer edge.
The woman brushed off his knees and arms, blowing on his hands before he screamed in protest and hugged them to his body before looking around and throwing himself in Emma's direction with his hands out. "Mommy! Ouchies!" he cried as she took him in her arms. Emma was glad that it was only the slightest of grazes, not even a drop of blood was on his palms. Emma simply kissed his palms and his wet cheeks before he pointed to his thumb and she gave a sweet smile.
With a clumsy kid, you need to figure out how you're going to deal with accidents pretty quickly, and one thing Emma had found is that the first thing to happen when Henry hurt himself was the thumb went straight in his mouth. So, as a precaution to avoid sickness and germs, she came up with a quick cure.
Emma held his little hand in place as he put his thumb up in the air and she took it into her mouth, sucking and licking it clean which Henry giggled in her arms. "Tank yooh." He grinned, hugging her and sticking the appendage in his mouth.
"Miss Swan, why you do that I will never understand."
"It's better that I should get sick from the germs than him, Regina." Emma clarified. She looked at the woman standing across from her with a concerned look on her face. "Wanna go to Momma?" she asked Henry and Regina gave her son a smile and a small gesture with her hands as he watched her, finally nodding and reaching out for her. When he was in her arms, he grunted and reached his free arm towards Emma, to which she simply gave him his Blankie.
The little boy cuddled into his Momma's arms as he looked up at her lovingly. "Happy birthday Henry. Have you had a good day so far?" she asked with a grin.
"Yesh." He replied around his thumb.
Regina raised her eyebrows and held her smile, "What was good?"
Emma watched Henry and Regina interact and found herself glad that she'd stayed in contact with her.
See, Regina had been right in line to adopt Henry, but when Emma changed her mind at the last minute her world had shattered. The baby boy she'd prepared for for so long, waited for, even come to love over time would not be hers anymore. So when Emma had called, asking if Regina would like to come and meet Henry she was shocked, and was telling herself that she didn't want to meet this woman who had ripped out part of her heart, she told herself that she didn't want to see what she was missing out on, but when she came out of her musings she realized that she was at the Hospital Emma had told her that she and Henry were at. She had made her way through the doors, and up the elevator, and through the maternity ward, and into Emma's room before she could even comprehend what she was doing. That was where she first realized how Emma could not give up her son. Henry was just so tiny, snugly clothed in a white onesie with a blue blanket wrapped around him and no cap on which showed his head full of brown hair. She could see from where she was stood in the doorway that his eyes were wide, clasped with Emma's as he suckled away at her breast. Regina walked into the room hesitantly, apologizing for interrupting and simply took a seat when Emma reassured her that she was used to it now. She simply watched as Henry's cheeks worked hard and his eyes started to droop shut. Emma pulled him away, resting him on her knees as she fixed her top and then burped him gently. Regina found herself doing something she'd thought would never happen; she giggled at a burp, Henry burped and the tiny noise brought out a giggle from the grin on her face.
The teenager looked over at Regina and smiled sweetly while laying Henry down in her arms. "So, I was thinking, I know it's weird and all but technically there are two spaces for legal guardians on Henry's files, and I thought I'd ask if you wanted to be on there next to me?"
Regina looked hesitant for a moment, mulling it over in her mind and finally looked to Emma's eyes, "Is that even legal?" she asked.
Emma nodded with a small smile, "Yeah, I spoke to the social worker a little while ago and they said that I can't put anyone but Henry's birth father down as the father but I can have a second birth certificate which has two spaces for guardians; I think she said that they use it for lesbian couples who use IVF. That made the conversation a little odd but anyhow, I'm offering you partial custody of Henry."
The older woman's eyes misted over a bit as Emma went on, mentioning her son's name was Henry a couple of times, "Henry?'
"Yeah, that's okay, isn't it? You mentioned it and I kinda just started using it while I was pregnant. It stuck and when the nurse asked me what his name was I just jumped at it."
"It's wonderful." Regina nodded, stroking at Henry's head which was near her, while his feet were pointed to the other side of the bed. "Henry was my father's name."
Her grin was contagious and Emma found herself smiling like a fool, first at Regina and then down at her baby boy. "He's Henry Blake Swan. I named him after my adoptive father from when I was three. So, would you like to be part of his life?" Regina gave an excited nod and a tear leaked down her cheek. "Would you like to hold your son?" Emma questioned while gesturing for Regina to put her arms out. When she did, Emma stood up and placed her baby in the woman's arms gently, soothing him as he fussed a little bit.
Emma came back to her own little world as Henry rattled on about how it was "BAD" that he got new clothes for his birthday. A small laugh left her lips and she gestured for Regina to go inside the warm shop before they all froze to death. Looking upon her son who was sucking at his second hot chocolate of the day while sitting on his Momma's lap, and pressing at a random button on his game every so often, she smiled and was glad that she had made both of those decisions all those years ago, because she honestly didn't want to think about where she'd be without Henry, or even Regina. She figured that she'd probably be roaming around aimlessly, and she was very comfortable in her little apartment, with her little son, and his big pain in the ass Momma.