A/N: last night's episode. 713. I cried. I yelled. I wrote this. It's dirty and I'm not sorry. Please cry and comment xoxo Fantomette-not- apologizing-hey
He rolls on his side, feeling someone sit on his mattress.
Paula. She didn't give back the key. He can't open his eyes to face her. He thought he had been clear.
Clear that the one he chose was…
"Harvey?"
He opens his eyes. She's sitting there, her red hair damp, vanilla shampoo. Fresh faced, no makeup.
The most beautiful woman he has ever seen.
She lies down next to him, in his bed and he forgets how to breathe. "I was thinking...when you said not tonight…" she gets dangerously close, hand touching his shoulder. "Us. Together. In the morning. Are you ready?"
He answers by pulling her close, finally feeling the warmth of her body against his. His mouth finds hers and he gives that kiss he should have given her years ago. That kiss he should have given her when she left once, twice, that kiss he should have given her all these times wheb they woeked late in his office, that kiss he should have given her when he said I love you, when she said it back…
He's kissing her for all those times he should have had but didn't and he's finally feeling all of his defenses melting away.
She climbs on top of him and he tries to catch his breath but she looks straight at him, removing her sweater and bra and he knows he's going to die before he ever makes love to her.
He closes his eyes.
"Harvey, look at me."
"I can't."
She laughs before falling on him.
Kissing him, slowly this time, she puts her hand in his hair and he feels himself fully falling in love. He opens his eyes,
"Fuck, I love you," is all he can say before he feels her wet entrance. He wraps his arms around her, never wanting to let her go. He doesn't want to stop kissing her, not until she calls his name. She hums against his mouth just before she says it, and he goes deeper, he should have done this sooner… he should have done it in the elevator, her couch, his office, her desk, his kitchen counter, the copy machine, the…
"Haaaarvey! "
They've always been in sync. He's not surprised. He just wonders why she doesn't sweat, why does she still smell of vanilla, why…
"What the…?"
He's in his bed, alone, face in his pillow.
Alone.
She asked him to come inside and he said no.
"Godammit!"
He's feeling awfully uncomfortable in his pants, he's not 16, far from it, but yet, there he is, a grown middle aged man, holding a pillow and having to do urgent laundry.
He's not ready to face her. He's not ready. He can't call in sick but maybe a client will need him before she even gets to the office. He stares at his phone, wishing for a magic call that will put him out of his misery.
"Harvey are you alright?"
She walks into his office, white dress hugging every curves and high heels making her legs longer than reality allows it. He swallows thicky, trying to cool down but he feels his cheeks getting warm.
"Yeah…" he replies.
"You look tired," she says stopping in front of his desk. Close enough. He can smell her shampoo. Flashes of his dream come back to mind, he crosses his legs, grabs a pen and starts to click it nervously.
"I'm waiting for a call…"
"I almost stopped by your place this morning."
"What?"
She looks…
Tired too.
"I just…" she stops and bites her lips. Exhales slowly. "I wanted to bring you coffee. To thank you. But then...I mean, you just broke up with Paula. I figured maybe I should give you some space."
He wants to say he doesn't need space anymore. What he needs is exactly the opposite. No space whatsoever between them, their bodies fused together a whole night.
Instead he says "Thank you." He takes the coffee she's offering and he smiles. She smiles back…
She gets out and he takes his agenda.
Day one.
Today he starts counting the days until he finally gets what he wants.