Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Italics are inner-Sasuke.
Sanity FallingThe sounds of scraping metal rang out and bounced off the walls of the cave he sat in, diligently sharpening Kusanaji and ignoring the rain that fell and his teammates squabbling. If he didn't ignore them, a feeling of uneasiness would settle in his stomach, (guilt and nostalgia) and he would be left thinking about things other than revenge.
(But was that a bad thing?)
So instead of thinking, he chose to sharpen his sword with more earnest diligence. His teammates failed to notice.
And in the back of his mind, a voice hissed, "Team Seven would have noticed." To which he huffed in displeasure. He could see the owner of the nonexistent voice clearly, his younger self, the self that died when he went to Orochimaru, glaring at him from the prisons of his own mind.
"You're not me. You're like them." The flurry of sharp words echoed in his head. Sasuke stood sharply then, as his former self continued to growl and glower at him, spewing all sorts of statements that were fervently denied and pushed away.
"Sasuke-kun?" came Karin's voice, rattling in his ears. Look! She's similar to Sakura! And Suigetsu! He's like Naruto!
(ShutupShutupshutup! I know!)
"I'm going out."
"But it's raining and Danzo is heading back tomorrow."
"I know." And with that he bolts out of the cave, leaving behind Taka temporarily because the team he really belongs with, he has left years ago.
And he's running, not at his full speed but pretty darn close. It feels good it's his high. The wind snapping in his face, pulling ink black hair away from fading black eyes.
I never wanted to become this.
Sasuke wants to tell his inner self to shut the heck up, but that would only make him look crazy. And he isn't crazy he isn't crazy. He knows he messed up somewhere along the line, perhaps it was when he chose to go after the elders and all of Konoha. No he had to be farther back than that.
I never wanted to become a monster.
Sasuke snarled stopping and slamming his clenched hand into the tree trunk he now stood by. He was no monster! He was trying to bring justice to his family! A family whom he loved! It was his very much dead family.
How would they know if justice was brought to them? Was revenge really justice or was it senseless killing ruled by emotion? Thinking back to his last kill, his own brother, had he known Itachi was merely trying to protect his village and him death never would have befallen the elder Uchiha.
Look at yourself! Look at me! Don't you see what you've done?
"Itachi was good." He found himself muttering, fading eyesight blurring as he stared into the ground many meters below. "And I killed him. I killed an innocent man."
"What on earth? Sasuke-kun?" He was hearing things he decided. He thought he was hearing Sakura's voice. He chuckled darkly.
She's here she's really here. We haven't seen her for a long time.
The last time she was seen it was when she and a revamped version of Team Seven moved into Orochimaru's hideout, in a desperate attempt to "rescue him." What a botched and foolish attempt. They still care; you're the foolish one.
"What do you mean you killed an innocent man?" Sasuke turned his head, his eyes crazed and bottomless. There she was, pink hair and all, on a branch a meter or so below him. She had to be an illusion, tricks of his slipping mind. But it was still possible that she wasn't. Naruto had to be nearby and he still, as far as Sasuke could tell, wanted to drag him back. Sasuke knew he was the stronger of the two now and he could do it. But Danzo was hokage and Danzo wanted Sasuke dead. Itachi was no longer there to protect him.
"Itachi was innocent." He muttered. Sakura's face fell. He anticipated some I-told-you-so remark. He wouldn't put it past her to start crying to show weakness.
"Who told you that?" Answer her; she still would do anything to help you. And if Naruto were to show up he'd be like that too.
Sasuke mentally told his inner to shut up. Sakura was an illusion. She was in Konoha he knew that. He knew that for a fact. Naruto was here for certain but she was not.
"Sasuke-kun answer me!"
"Why should I tell you anything?" Those words sounded so familiar. Was it he who said them? Sakura took on a pained expression, the words biting her like some dog. The words must have been said to her, he must have said them to her, but when?
Oh, that's right. It was the night you left. "I am your enemy, a missing nin. If I chose to do so, I could do away with you and no one would know it was me."
"I know that."
"Then why are you so desperate?" Sasuke could figure the answer easily. She was Sakura and Sakura would never change, at least not in his mind. Physically she would, but emotionally, she could still be considered a train wreck among ninja.
"Because you're Sasuke-kun."
"I am an avenger."
"Fighting for a lost cause." Sharingan bled through the inky irises. His cause was most certainly was not lost! Itachi had been wronged and his family deceived! He had been a victim only by association!
And with a fierce snarl he leapt down to where he saw her, sword drawn, sharingan glowing, and rain pouring down his face. The Uchiha found she had completely vanished with the mist. His kekkei genkai scanned the area and found there wasn't a trace of chakra. As if she had never been there.
You're mad. That was Sakura. Why would you want to harm Sakura? You love—
"Shut up! She wasn't here! She was never here! Sakura was an illusion! She's the product of the mist, caused by a fever!" Sasuke growled at himself, angrily sheathing Kusanagi, and grasping his head.
She could have been caused by insanity.
Nonono. He was not insane. He had a fever! That's all! He had been working too hard, been pushing himself for too long.
"Sasuke-kun!" Another figment! Another lie from his mind! "Naruto! Hurry!"
"Be careful!" Came the blonde's raspy voice. "And wait up!"
Oh his mind was good at trying to trick him! But Sasuke was good at seeing through illusions. And even if he had trouble seeing through them at first, once he knew they were there, there would be no stopping him.
"Sasuke-kun!"
"You're just another illusion!" he found himself snapping, his mind detaching from his body. It was as if he were watching from the outside. There she was. Again. And this time that obnoxious blonde and oddly enough the pallid replacement. His mind certainly failed at tricking him.
He watched himself cast harsh, crazed looks at the confused members of cell seven. "You're not real! You're not real! I've done no wrong! I'm an avenger! I'm doing what I'm supposed too!"
"Sasuke-kun…" Sakura stepped towards him, uncertain and confused by his erratic behavior. This wasn't the Sasuke she knew, it wasn't the Sasuke she reunited with nearly a year ago.
"I have nothing to feel guilty about! My conscience can stop trying to trick me with illusions!"
"We're not illusions!" He watched Naruto shout, leaping in front of Sakura and preparing to lunge at him. He watched as the sharingan activated once more in his fading eyes.
"These eyes tell me when something is an illusion! With them I know you--" he paused them, his own eyes narrowing in stupefaction. Chakra illuminated and rolled off them. His own eyes were deceiving him!
"We're not illusions. Sasuke-kun, come back home."
"You have to be! You wouldn't be here! You wouldn't be here!" Wait? Where'd his former rival go? Where was he? Where was he?
There! Behind him! That sharp jab on the base of his neck told him so unless that was an illusion too. His vision faded out, his eyelids dropping and he swung forward, collapsing to the ground.
Naruto stood over him, staring at his unconscious form, deciding then and there Sasuke needed help, in more ways than one.
~x-x-x~
This was supposed to be done for Sasuke's birthday. And I have no idea why it went so…insanely dark for what I write. Yeah, I suppose it's a little confusing. If you have any questions, just ask.