Eggnog Fest

Part One: How Many Quarters in a Dollar?

Summary: When four of the ER staff get drunk on Christmas Eve on Eggnog, they begin to ask each other long forgotten questions. And start singing the Beatles!

A/N: I was in a really funky mood when I wrote this. First part set December '99. There are three parts "How Many Quarters in a DOllar?" "Headaches" and "Christmas Time... Again."

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"Why do some people have to be so messy?" John Carter asked, mostly to himself as he and a few of his friends picked up the remains of a Christmas party.
"Hey, Carter, don't look at me! I wasn't the one who spiked the eggnog!" Dave Malucci said as Carter glanced over at him.
"You guys are so negative! Keep working! It was your idea to have the party, Carter!" Carter rolled his eyes already knowing with out seeing the person who had spoken. He turned to her and smiled a forced smile.
"Yes Mother!" he said to Lucy Knight.
"Thank you, my itty bitty baby!" Lucy said back sarcastically.
"Please, Lucy, you said work so work!" Abby said, coming in the room with Luka Kovac, carrying a trash bag, "Besides, wouldn't you rather be here then over stuck at the ER like Peter, Mark, Carol, Kerry, and Lizzy?"
"They're probably having more fun then us! Last I heard, the board was practically clean!" Luka said.
"Hey, come on guys, cheer up! How about a nice glass of eggnog?" Dave asked. The other four looked at him, "What?"
"Oh, what the heck?" Lucy said, taking a glass, "We have to get rid of it some how!"
"What harm could it do? It's only one glass," Carter agreed, also taking a glass. Dave poured himself some and looked at Abby.
"Oh, no thank you, I think I'll be the designated driver tonight!"
"I'll have some!" Luka volunteered, "Never really had it before though... But come on, Abby, it will be... nice."
"Luka!" Abby said, surprised. She watched as her friends took glass after glass of eggnog.
"C'mon Abby... One glass isn't gonna get us drunk!"
"In case you haven't noticed, Dave, you haven't had one glass!" Abby couldn't keep from laughing.
"Huh? But I just thought I had some a few minutes ago! Better pour me some more!"
"Um, am I the only one who sees how drunk you are?" Abby asked.
"We're not drunk! You can't get drunk on eggnog! It's like... Impossible! I think Abby needs a glass to lighten up! I prescribe you one glass now, one in two minutes, and three more after that!" Lucy said, "Whoa!" she shrieked as she fell back on the couch. Carter sat down next to her.
"What's that word for people who are no fun?" Carter asked, trying to find the right words.
"Um... People who are no fun?" Lucy guessed
"No, there was a special word..."
"Oscar!" Lucy and Carter looked at Luka. He looked back at them, "What?"
"Oscar? Isn't that an award?" Lucy asked.
"Yeah, the award for the person who's not the most fun goes to... Abby Lockhart!" they all laughed at what Carter said except Abby.
"No, not the award! He means Oscar the Grouch!" Dave came in.
"Oh yeah!" Lucy said holding up a finger, "That's you, Abby!" Abby sighed and shook her head.
"I'm gonna go get some water!" Abby said. Lucy leaned in close to Carter.
"When she comes back, let's put in some eggnog!" Lucy whispered.
"Yeah!"
"Won't she notice her water turned white?" Luka asked who had over heard them.
"Water isn't white, you idiot!" Dave said.
"It could be..." Carter said, "If it was really messy!"
"You think she'd drink white water?" Dave asked.
"Maybe. I think Ally would drink almost anything!" Carter said.
"You mean Abby?" Dave corrected.
"Who's Abby?" Carter asked.
"Yeah, what color *is* water anyway? I mean, it looks clear but it has to have a color!" Lucy said.
"Does it have to have a color? I'm confused now!" Dave said, sitting down on the couch on the opposite side of Lucy.
"I think... I think everything has to have a color!" Luka said, sitting on one of the arms of the couch.
"Why?" Dave asked.
"You know, I never thought people could have such in-depth conversations when they were drunk!" Abby said, coming out with her water.
"We're not drunk!" Dave said, "I know I've only had..." he counts on his fingers until he has none left, "Um... three?" while Abby was distracted, she set down her water.
"Three, yeah, right, whatever!" Abby laughed. She picked up her water glass and was about to take a sip when, "What the hell happened to my water?"
"It turned white?" Carter said, innocently.
"I knew water had a color!" Lucy declared.
"Water doesn't turn white unless something's added to it!" Abby said.
"Why don't you taste it and see if it tastes good?" Luka asked. Abby looked at them all suspiciously.
"All right, who put eggnog in my water?" she asked like a mother, trying to find a guilty child. All fingers pointed to Lucy. Lucy pointed at Luka. When she noticed everyone blaming her, she pointed her other finger at Carter.
"Nice try, Luce," Abby said, pouring out the watery eggnog.
"Oh, gee, thanks guys! Real friends!" Lucy said, looking at her friends, hurt. A cell phone rang. Lucy realized it was Carter's but before he could get to it, she grabbed it and answered.
"Howdy, Nucy Light speaking!"
"Lucy?"
"Oh hi Kerry... It's Kerry!" she whispered to her friends.
"OH KERRY!" they all said. Abby hid her face in her hands.
"Uh... Are you drunk?"
"No! I only had a few glasses of eggnog!"
"You are. OK, um, could you give me to Carter?"
"Okaly Dokaly!"
"Right..." Kerry said as Lucy handed it to Carter.
"It's for you!" she whispered. Carter took the phone.
"Hey Kerry!"
"Carter, are you sober?"
"Yep! I'm as sober as I ever have been! Carter John never drinks!"
"Carter... John? OK, could you give the phone to somebody who *hasn't* been drinking?"
"Oh, you must mean Oscar!" Carter said, nodding.
"Oscar? Who's that, the bar tender?"
"No, it's Ally!"
"Who's Ally?" Kerry had no idea what he was talking about.
"Uh... You know her, she has brown hair, see her at the hospital a lot..." Carter tried to find the words.
"You mean the bulimic patient that keeps coming in?" Kerry asked.
"Uh... I don't think she's bulimic. Hey Ally! Are you bulimic?"
"Are you talking to me?" Abby asked, "I'm sorry, but I don't know any 'Ally'
and I've never seen you before in my life!"
"Was that Abby?" Kerry asked, hearing the girl.
"Yep! That's Ally!" Carter said.
"My God, you are strange when you're drunk, Carter!"
"I sure am!" he admitted, happily.
"OK, so could I talk to, um, Ally?"
"Sure thing! Ally, Kerry wants to talk to you!" Carter said, holding his cell phone out to her.
"Give me that before you hurt yourself!" Abby said, snatching the phone, "Dr. Weaver?"
"Abby, please tell me you aren't drunk!"
"I'm not drunk but everyone else is!"
"Are you sure?"
"You don't believe me?"
"Carter and Lucy didn't think they were drunk."
"Trust me, Kerry, I wanted to be the designated driver."
"Well, you sound sober... What's going on over there?"
"Eggnog fest. Dave's idea."
"I should have known!" Kerry sighed, "Are there any competent doctors or med. students around?"
"Uh..." Abby looks around at Dave who was dancing on the table, Lucy and Carter who are sitting on the couch laughing to death, and Luka who had taken the whole pitcher of eggnog and was chugging it down, "Nope, just me! I'm the only one. You want me?"
"Fine, yeah, could you come over here? We need another doctor. Trauma came in, and they're working on it but they need help with the other patients."
"Uh... Could you call someone else? I'm afraid to leave these guys alone."
"I understand. I'll see if I can get in touch with Dr. Chen."
"Thanks," Abby hung up. She looked at Lucy and Carter on the sofa.
"You know, you look pretty handsome through the eyes of a drunken girl!" Lucy said, flirtatiously, placing her index finger on his nose.
"You know what? Thanks! You look pretty pretty through the eyes of a drunken man!" Carter replied in the same tone and placing his own finger on Lucy's nose. Abby could not keep from laughing.
"They're not gonna want to miss this!" she said and sprinted over to the table where there was a video camera there for New Years Eve. She turned it on and filmed them.
"Thank you Carter John!"
"You're welcome Nucy Light!" Carter said and Lucy laughed.
"You're funny when you're not funny!" she said.
"And you're cute when you're not funny!" Carter replied.
"Am I cute when I am funny?"
"You're always funny!"
"So does that mean I'm never cute or I'm always cute?" Lucy was confused.
"Uh... Always cute!" Carter saved himself.
"Yeah!" Lucy declared, happily.
"Yeah!" Carter agreed.
"Don't you just hate those stupid pick up lines guys use on you?" Lucy asked.
"I dunno! A guy's never given me a pick up line!" Carter looked sad and Lucy comforted him.
"It's all right, Carter, they know you're not gay, that's the reason!"
"You think?"
"Yeah!"
"Gee, I never thought of that!" Carter said. Abby laughed. She was filming the whole thing.
"Well, anyway, I just hate 'em. Be glad you're not gay, Carter!"
"Hey, you're cute when you're cute..."
"You already said that, you idiot!" Lucy laughed.
"Oh, yeah, right!" Carter said.
"Hey Luka! Gimme some of that eggnog!" Dave shouted from the table. Luka looked up, the pitcher nearly empty.
"Uh... We're almost out. Oscar, go get some more!" Luka ordered.
"Oh no, I'm not giving you any more eggnog if you paid me a million dollars!"
"Is that all it'll take?" Dave asked, "Well, in that case, uh..." Dave dug deep into his pocket, fished out some quarters, and handed them to Abby.
"There! Six quarters! That should do it!" he said. Abby starred at the six lonely quarters in her hand.
"Uh... Dave? I said a million bucks, not a buck fifty!"
"What? I thought that was a million dollars! I was saving it for my wedding night!"
"That'll be a while!" Abby rolled her eyes, "This is only one fifty. Not a million dollars."
"Really? Then... How many quarters in a dollar?" Dave asked. He looked over at Luka who shrugged.
"Uh, Dave? Think what you just asked," Abby said, laughing, camera still on them. Dave paused for a minute.
"What?" he asked, "What's wrong with my question?"
"Well, first of all, I feel like I'm talking to a two-year-old... wait, that's how I always feel talking to you! Anyway, secondly, how many quarters are in anything?"
"Uh... two?" Dave guessed.
"No, you idiot!" Luka said.
"Thank you Luka!" Abby said, happy to see someone knew their math.
"It's six! You only gave her a dollar!"
"Uh... Luka? The answer is four," Abby told them.
"Oh!" Dave and Luka said together. There was a pause and then, Dave said, "Are you sure?"
"YES!" Abby screamed, "Right, Cart-" she stopped as she turned the camera back to Carter and Lucy who were now beginning to make out on the couch, "OK, never mind, then!" She turned the camera away, laughing again.
"Hey Luka! We're on TV!" Dave screamed excitedly.
"Huh? Where?" Luka asked looking around.
"Oscar! She's filming us!"
"Wow!" Luka said.
"Hey Luka! Remember that thing we did at that place with the singing and the stuff and... Stuff?" Dave asked.
"Yeah, that stuff was fun!" he said.
"Let's do it for Oscar!" Dave declared. Abby took down the camera.
"I really would appreciate it if you stopped calling me Oscar!" she said.
"Sorry, sorry, just film us, OK?" Dave said. He pulled Luka up onto the table.
"Oh my God!" Abby said as they began to sing.
"We all live in a yellow submarine!" Dave sang, completely out of tune. Luka stumbled along with him.
"A... submarine!" he said.
"A yellow submarine!"
"Oh my God!" Abby turned and saw Cleo walk in, dropping the shopping bag she was carrying. Dave and Luka took no notice and kept singing. Abby turned to her.
"Hey Cleo! Finally, someone sober!" Abby sighed.
"You mean they're drunk? I thought Dave was acting pretty normal!" Cleo laughed.
"Hey look, Nucy! It's another Oscar!" Carter said, tearing his lips away from Lucy.
"Carter, is that..." Cleo couldn't even finish her sentence staring at the girl on the couch with Carter.
"Yes, that is 'Nucy Light' and that man there is 'Carter John!'" Abby laughed, "But what are you doing here? Weaver called, said a trauma came in and needed help."
"A trauma did come in, but I'm not on, remember? I mean, Waever called me when the trauma came but now that's all done... Weaver said I might wanna come check on you guys."
"She was right!" Abby said, looking at Dave and Luka still singing and Lucy and Carter on the couch, making out again, "God they're gonna have a hangover in the morning!"
"And lose some dignity! Abby, are you *filming* them?" Cleo asked, noticing the camera.
"Eh. It'll be a good momento for next year's Christmas party... And proof that Dave really does have bad singing!" Abby said. Cleo laughed.
"Hey Cleo!" Dave interrupted his song, "I see you have groceries! Um... Get any eggnog?"
"Won't that be one Hell of a night!?" Cleo laughed.