hola! quick author's note (…quick-ish author's note) before we get started!
a: this is a sequel to my story 'i turned around, my life was changing,' but if you haven't read that one, you'll still probably do okay with this: some elements may not make sense, but most plot points from there left unresolved will be re-adressed in the course of this story, and the story itself ended in much the same way as B/R did on the show after their trip to argentina.
b: while 'turned around' was canon compliant (aside from me screwing up the timeline in a couple of places, whoops), this story is very much not. basically, 'turned around' was me trying to see if there was any ic way to lead up to a B/R split up; 'how close' is me going 'okay, but here's what i think realistically might have happened next.' you know, if the gang remembered that they cared about barney and robin, and if barney's job had been more than a one-off joke.
c: right now i'm looking at around a dozen chapters, this prologue, and an epilogue. compared to 'turned around,' i don't think this story will be updated as quickly; the plot is way more complicated and much more gang-centric. but bear with me!
tl;dr: this is one of those "after the divorce b/r get back together after realising they are morons" stories. i hope you enjoy it!
x
Kids, do you remember the first time we went to Washington?
Washington D.C.
Friday, April 10th, 2020.
3:27 PM.
It takes some maneuvering, but Ted manages to get himself, the bags, a half-asleep Luke, and Penny out of the cab without dropping anything or losing anyone. The day is mild and sunny, trees starting to grow fuzzy with leaves, grass and flowers starting to spring back to life in the sunny patches of townhouse gardens. Ted shifts Luke to try and ease his aching arms, and looks for Penny, who has run halfway down the block while waiting for him to pay the cab.
"Get back here, kiddo," he calls, thanking the driver and awkwardly shutting the door. He bounces Luke again, half hoping the toddler will wake up so he can put him down for a moment.
"Daddy, I see some daffodils!" Penny announces, clambering up the wrought iron fence of one of the townhomes and pointing into the garden.
"I bet you do," Ted says, carefully bending down to pick the overnight bag and canvas 'kid bag' up off the sidewalk. "Come on, sweetie, let's go."
Penny runs back to her father and brother. "Which one is Uncle Barney's house?" she asks.
"It's the white Italianate townhouse… with a black front door with a fanlight. Do you remember what a fanlight is?" Of course, it'd be easier to say the one to the left, but Ted believes that the more Penny learns now, the more she'll remember as she grows.
She frowns. "When there's a window on top of he door?" She looks around, and picks out a house from the row. "That one!"
"Great job, honey!" Ted really wishes Luke would wake up. He jiggles the three-year-old once more, and sets off the short walk to the house. There isn't much in the front garden, grass or otherwise, and he lets Penny navigate the steps in front of him.
"Does Uncle Barney know about fanlights?" Penny asks as they climb.
"Seriously doubt it," Ted hazards, putting down the overnight bag to ring the doorbell.
"Does Aunt Robin know about fanlights?"
"Probably not. Hey, look how much smarter you are than them!"
"Does Johnny Lawrence know about fanlights?" Penny asks, grinning mischievously up at her father.
"Now that one I would believe," Ted says, ringing the bell again.
He hears the dog barking from inside the house at the same time he hears Barney yell: "Dude, I'm coming. Keep your pants on!" He opens the door a moment later, any annoyance at being rushed instantly replaced by an easy grin. Ted notes he's gone tieless for the day, but, "Where's the sweater?"
"Wow, that never gets old," Barney says sarcastically. The friends exchange a brief grin and awkward one armed hug, and then Barney's crouching down in front of Penny. "Hey! Who are you?"
"I'm Penny," the little girl says, biting back her smile.
"Naaaah," Barney says. "Penny's a little baby —" he gestures to a spot about a foot above the ground, "and you're way too old."
"I'm five! Uncle Barney, quit it!"
"It's too bad, I wanted to see Penny and Luke," Barney says with a very dramatic sigh, standing back up, brushing off his trouser legs. "Ted, I thought you said you were bringing the kids?"
"Uncle Barney! It's me! I'm Penny! And that's Luke!" she protests, pointing up at her sleeping brother.
"Dude," Ted says, half laughing, half a warning to cut back on the teasing: Penny's starting to look like she isn't sure if her uncle really did forget her.
"Okay, okay, I'm just kidding," Barney says, reaching for and taking Luke out of Ted's arms. Ted shakes his head, used to it. "Good thing you're the real Penny, since I bought her a present."
"You did?" And they were friends again, Penny taking Barney's proffered hand. Ted, now completely divested of his children, shakes his head and follows the party into the house. With black walls and dark wood flooring, the house doesn't look all that different from the Fortress, although white accents give it the sort of designer touch that comes from… well, from hiring an interior decorator to take care of all that stuff, knowing Barney.
Even the Dalmatian that trots up to them all for sniffing and greetings matches the black and white color scheme. He sticks his nose right into Penny's face, and she gives a nervous giggle, rubbing his ears as he sniffs wetly at her. "Daddy, Johnny Lawrence is licking me!" she says, dropping the bag of toys where she stands to give the dog her full attention.
"How was the train?" Barney asks, leading them into the modern living room.
There are two wrapped packages on the coffee table, one in green and the other in blue. They're suspiciously large, and Barney gives a sheepish grin to Ted's look of exasperation.
"The ride wasn't too bad," Ted says, deciding lecturing Barney for the thousandth time will be, as ever, pointless. Penny gives a gasp of delight when she spots the packages, and makes for them both, the dog, tail wagging, following after her. "Luke had some trouble with it, but me and Penny had a good time looking out the window, didn't we?" he says, putting down the overnight bags and his canvas bag of toys beside the sofa with some relief: he looks to Penny for confirmation, but between the dog and the packages on the table, she clearly couldn't care less about train rides and bonding family experiences. Ted sighs and sinks down onto the sofa.
Plate glass windows at the back of the living room overlook a small terrace, and the glass doors have been left open, to allow the warm spring breeze into the house. Ted spots a white rabbit sniffing around in the grass of the backyard.
"She still lets you keep rabbits?" He nods out towards the backyard.
"Hoppenheimer is an integral part of this family," Barney says with an offended huff.
"Dude, it's the same rabbit?" How long do rabbits live? Ted gives the rabbit second look, feeling a grudging respect.
"Uncle Barney, which one is my present?" Penny asks, interrupting the conversation.
"I wrote your name on it," Barney says. "D'you know how to read yet?"
"Yes," the five-year-old sniffs indignantly.
"Kind of," Ted corrects under his breath. Barney grins.
"Well, it's the one that says 'Penny,'" Barney informs his niece. "Hey, Luke," he says in a gooier voice than usual, sinking down onto the couch and bouncing Luke in his arms. "hey, you wanna wake up and have a present? Johnny Lawrence wants to say hi to you, bro, and wow, you're super heavy. What have your mom and dad been feeding you?"
Ted sits back into the sofa. Aside from the presents on the coffee table, he also notes two bottles of beer, a bowl of pretzels, and a pair of juice boxes. He shakes his head at that, smiling, rubbing his shoulder with the palm of his hand.
Penny goes for the green package. "Is it this one?"
"You bet, kiddo," Barney says, still cooing at Luke, who stubbornly refuses to wake up. Ted wishes him luck: the kid is almost impossible to rouse until he's good and ready. Johnny Lawrence trots over to Ted for attention, and he scratches at the Dalmatian's ears. The dog hops up on the sofa and rests his head on Ted's lap, tail thumping cheerfully.
"So how have you been? Work keeping you busy?" Ted asks, as Barney gives up on waking Luke.
"Oh, crap, that reminds me!" Barney says, jiggering Luke to look at his watch, and then reach for the TV's remote. He clicks the TV on the wall on and flicks through the channels; Ted sits up to reach for one of the beers.
"Daddy! Look, it's an art set! And coloring books! And there's paints!" Penny exclaims, her voice reaching volumes high enough to be heard back in New York — and rouse Luke, who immediately fusses. Barney looks from the TV to the toddler in his lap in alarm, as Luke begins to mutter, his face scrunching up.
"Ted, Ted, Ted," Barney says urgently, TV forgotten.
"Give him here," Ted says, pushing away Johnny Lawrence and divesting Barney of the angry three-year-old. His friend immediately turns his attention to Penny, helping her tear open the watercolors at the coffee table. Ted rolls his eyes a little, and focuses on trying to settle Luke back down. "Come on, buddy, look where we are! We're at your Uncle Barney's house!" Luke makes an unhappy sound. Johnny Lawrence settles down on the empty half of the sofa. Barney and Penny discuss the best way to paint the dinosaurs in her colouring book.
The scene on the television changes from a news studio to a plush meeting room, the president sitting in a Queen Anne chair across from a beautiful woman with short, dark hair. Ted's attention is almost completely distracted from Luke; he watches the opening seconds without blinking.
"Dude," Barney grins, almost vibrating from excitement, pointing up at the TV, and Ted takes all of that as one big yes, "that's the president. Of America!"
"Dude, that's your wife," Ted says, disturbing Luke as he almost jumps to his feet in his eagerness to slap Barney's outstretched hand. Penny looks confused at them both and at the TV, and Luke starts grumbling again.
"Yeah it is," says Barney as their hands connect. "Check it out, Pen; Aunt Robin's on TV with the president," he says, offering his hand to the little girl for a second high five, which she gives dubiously. "Isn't that awesome? Isn't that —"
Kids, that was a big weekend. We saw the Smithsonian, the Washington Monument, the Lincoln Memorial — we saw your Aunt Robin interviewing the president, and toured your uncle Barney's work. Luke almost fell into the reflecting pool, and Penny, remember that stuffed tiger your Aunt Robin bought you at the zoo? You had that thing for years.
The road to that weekend was long, and there were times that, if you told me then it was in all of our futures, I wouldn't have believed it. Reaching it was a long, difficult road for all of us, for your Aunt Robin, and especially your Uncle Barney.
I don't usually have to remind you guys of things like this, but:
This story has a happy ending.