Despite being in ruins, Ostagar was a bustling and busy place. All around her, soldiers, priests, servants, and mages scurried about the numerous camps and training areas. It was…familiar, she decided.
Elissa Cousland was once again reminded of her home in Highever. The day of surprise attack, Highever knights and servants were just as busy, unaware of the treachery planned for them. It hurt the most when she encountered those few men who made it to Ostagar with Fergus. The silent salutes and somber attitudes that greeted her made the brunette's heart wrench. Though she arrived just yesterday, word had already spread regarding the incident so many miles away.
Standing in the middle of it all, Elissa felt closed in, as if she was suffocating. Warding off a panic attack, she decided she needed to do something.
I think some fresh air would do me good. Well, fresher air, I suppose.
Having already spoken to Duncan and Alistair, checked in with the blacksmith, and left her loyal canine in the hands of the capable hound master, she felt like she had plenty of time for a break. We're not heading out until tomorrow morning anyway.
With new resolve, the young Cousland picked a direction and put one foot in front of another, moving away from the Grey Warden camp, until she found herself walking on the crumbling bridge that led to the Tower Of Ishal.
Peering over the bridge, Elissa was assailed with the thought of two mighty armies battling below her, in the small valley. How that tiny area could fit the thousands of soldiers was beyond her. I'll be down there tomorrow night…fighting those creatures.
The very thought terrified her in a way that felt all too familiar.
Absorbed in her own musings, the recruit just barely avoided a collision. Coming to an almost screeching halt, she appeared to have interrupted a conversation between two mages. An elderly woman and a middle-aged bald man turned to look at her, just as surprised as the young woman. The bald man, glaring at her, said a few short words to his fellow mage and took his leave, pushing past her.
Alone with the old woman, Elissa felt her face flush with embarrassment. She was a noble, not some brat who barged into an obviously important conversation! Under the mage's scrutinizing glance, the warden could only sputter her apology.
"I-I'm so sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going, I'm not usually this disconnected!" Seeing the other woman quirk an eyebrow, Elissa felt like a complete idiot. However, the robed woman's face was etched with a warm smile, and the brunette mentally, and probably visually, relaxed.
"It's quite all right, my dear. If anything you saved me from a rather dreadful conversation with Uldred." Extending her hand, the woman introduced herself. "I am Senior Enchanter Wynne, of the Circle of Magi here in Ferelden." With a smile of her own, Elissa quickly shook Wynne's hand and introduced herself as well. "My name is Elissa Cousland of…Highever." Elissa's mood dropped quickly with the reminder of her former home, something that did not go unnoticed by the healer.
"Cousland? My, it has been some time since I have been to Highever, but I recognize that name. Are your parents the Teyrn and Teyrness? I met with them once when the Teyrn was sick." Wynne noticed the subtle change in the young woman's eyes. The mage saw a great sadness there, as well as anger and regret. Noting the dark brown hair, and remembering how many years ago she visited the ill ruler, Wynne realized that this was not the first time she had met the young Cousland. Though it was only in passing, it was plain to see how much she cared for her father. Now though, it would appear something drastic had befallen the Cousland family.
"I…yes, they were my parents." Elissa managed to whisper her answer, tears on the verge of escaping from her eyes.
With wide eyes, the elderly mage remembered hearing a hushed conversation between two knights earlier that very day. Though she heard little of it, she remembered why it was so important.
Her mind moving quickly, Wynne moved the comfort the sole survivor of the massacre. "My dear, I will not pretend to know of what you feel. I also do not know all of the details surrounding the incident. But know this, though we have just met, I will not hesitate to offer a comforting hand." Wynne had barely finished her sentence when the young warden pushed herself into the mage's coincidentally outstretched arms. While initially surprised, she moved quickly to return the embrace in full force.
They stood there for what felt like hours while Elissa finally shed the tears she had held in for nearly a week. She told Wynne of Arl Howe's surprise attack and how she left her parents, Ser Gilmore, and all of the people of the keep to die at the Arl's men's hands. All the while, the mage stood, rubbing the young woman's back and soothing her with what the apprentices at the Tower had dubbed "Granny Wynne's Voice."
When all was said and done, Elissa slowly detached herself from the Senior Enchanter's arms, grimacing at the large wet spot on the woman's shoulder. The mage, however, either didn't notice or didn't care. She held the young warden's shoulders in a firm but comforting grip. "The world around us has always been and will always be a bad place," Wynne started, "But it is not the tragedies that define us, my dear, but how we deal with them." Looking into Elissa's eyes and seeing her nod, Wynne continued.
"If you just lay down your sword and accept defeat, none will remember you or the great Cousland family. If you wish to honor those you have lost, stand strong in the face of danger. Do not seek vengeance, but justice. It will take some time for you to recover, but know that there are those around you who can help you through these dark times. Your fellow wardens, your brother and hound, and even myself for the time being." Smiling, Wynne nodded her head towards the Mage and Templar camp. "I do believe that the first step may be a cup of hot tea, hmm?" Elissa returned the smile and nodded.
"I think I'd like that." So they went, speaking of simple things such as the weather and the annoying lack of proper facilities. Elissa smiled a true smile for the first time in nearly a week.
I love you mother, father. You are gone now, but you will remain with me in spirit, always.