AN: So originally this story was called Singing, Skipping, Loving but due to some copyright issues I took it down. This is my attempt to re-write it.
I look at his car, ever since my new LoveMe! assignment random things catch my attention. The president wants me to sing, or at least write some songs. Ever since he came to the Tragic Marker set he has been telling me it is no good to keep everything inside. He knows I won't confess. So now I have to sing, write. But about what? Those random things that come into my mind? Well, since it's a LoveMe! assignment it is probably either random stuff I come up with or love.
Despite the intensifying relationship between Setsu and Cain we are not awkward, as long as neither of us slips into a Heel, everything is okay, besides Yashiro-san is in the passenger seat. So on the way to Yashiro-san's apartment light chitchat fills the car.
I don't think that passenger seat has ever looked this good to me,
What was that? That line does sound nice, maybe this is what the president meant? Oh, we stopped.
"Good night Yashiro-san," Tsuruga-san now turns to me, asking to which shop we should go for the ingredients. I answer automatically the one near his apartment, my thoughts are already far from dinner. The lights of the city are beautifully reflected in his eyes, which seem almost tender, and sad at the moment.
I count the colors in his eyes, yeah that'd be a nice follow-up.
But those eyes remind me of how he looked when he talked to Bo, when the chicken congratulated him with Katsuki. It made sense back then, he was thinking about the girl he loves, but the why would he look at me like that? But back then he also swore never to fall in love, never to be happy 'here', whatever he might have meant by that.
He tells a joke but I did not catch it, I fake a smile. As I was lost in thought I have no way to reply to him, so I just ask if I can put some music on. That should break the silence and hopefully it will stop my brain from putting random lines in my head every time I look at him. As he gives me the okay, I flip through the radio channels until I find a song, I know he likes.
He himself would insist he barely listens to music and has no favorites. But Cain-nii-san unconsciously bobs his head to some songs in the shops. And Ren smiles when some songs play on his car-radio.
Wait!? Does this mean I know more about him than he does? No that's just too weird a thought, when he says he doesn't like anything in particular it is probably part of him being a gentleman. Thinking about him my 'angels' come flying with more information, his favorite color, his birthday. How he calls Setsu his beautiful sister. However, just to spite my angels, my demons point out that besides mundane things and his measurements, I know little of his family, dreams or friends.
On the topic of those measurements … I wonder, Tsuruga-san is tall, probably as tall as Kuu-otou-san. The shape of their eyes are the same, as is their jaw-line. A melody starts to form in my head, along with the lines. Tsuruga-san must have noticed me staring, he turns to me, and I cannot help but wonder what he'd look like with blonde hair, like Kuu-otou-san said Kuon has.
Tsuruga-san noticed my staring.
"Is there something on my face Mogami-san?" he asks, the look in his eyes is surprisingly similar to the looks he shot Mizuki during the Katsuki practice. No! It can't be! I'm just imagining things, I wish to be true.
"It's nothing Tsuruga-senpai. I was just wondering whether you'd prefer dark miso soup over clear soup."
"I'm fine with whatever you make me." He said with a wink.
No, it couldn't have been a wink! It had to be my imagination making the look in his eyes seem so endearing.
As I focus on the grocery shopping no random lines pop into my head, luckily.
When I start the routine of cooking soup and making stir fry vegetables my thoughts wander off once again. The last time we played the Heel siblings had been intense, Setsu has become much stronger, and way more demanding. I had arrived at the hotel a little after Tsuruga-san, who had seemed asleep. Without even asking me, Setsu had crawled into his bed! What's more Cain had not been asleep, but once he had his dear sister in his arms he wouldn't let go!
Thinking back I'm sure I'm still blushing when Tsuruga-san enters the kitchen. As he looks around the room his eyes merely glance at my face, not noticing the blush, which I felt intensify when he came in sight.
"Is there anything I can do to help you?" He asks, always the perfect gentleman, but I know how his cooking is.
"No, thanks Tsuruga-san, but I have every thing under control."
"Ok, you know, you really look like a chef, the way you shop so fast." I know I cannot tell him about my youth in the Ryokan. He always gets so angry the moment I mention Sho's name. Like with the prisoner PV, he seemed to see everything black-and-white.
"I've helped out at the Darumaya quite a lot, so please relax, I've got it covered." It is no lie after all.
I see a flicker of some emotion cross his face, but he covers it quickly with a bright smile.
"Ok, please tell me if I can be of any assistance."
He never seems to show his 'real' emotions. He often wears that fake smile, he never lets anybody see him looks sad, or cry.
Well except for Bo that is. But Bo is anonymous, faceless and above all a chicken. But then again, I never let anybody see me wishing he was mine. Only Setsu can lay that claim, only for a little time, in an act. Wait! Wouldn't that be the same as having a crush on him? I am not crushing on Tsuruga-san! I merely want to get to know my senpai better, to learn. My few angels are desperatly fighting my demons who are tearing up the word L,O,V,E. The demons are winning though. They are impersonating Ren, screeming: 'Mogami-san you are merely my kouhai. Besides you know nothing about me!' My angels don't agree with the masses, as they counter: 'He lets dai-Kyoko cook for him, he helps her always, besides we know about him. He is a great actor, a handsome man, loving brother, he is respectable. He puts work above his own hunger and sleep, he likes English songs! His favorite color is green, he loves to argue. So we do know about him!'
'Yeah, and he likes honesty, but what would dai-Kyoko do when someone asks if she loves him?'
I was shocked, it seemed that my small demons know me better than I know myself.
As Tsuruga-san reaches the door frame, he lingers as if he just remembered something. He turns seemingly to say something, then unaware I noticed him halt he shakes his head and contiues out of the room. I cannot help but admire the way he walks, and stands. He has such grace, I could never compare. I wish I could tell him, how I seem so to feel so much, so much MORE around him. No matter which character he is portraying, or even when he is just being himself.
She is too cute, constantly humming that catchy tune. She is so familiar with my kitchen, she uses it more than I do. Good thing I moved nearly everything down so she can easily reach everything. She just barely reaches my chest, but everything about her is so beautiful… her humming, her dreams, her fantasy.
And now her humming and singing, though I admit I like it when she is in such a good mood AND cooking for me. Oh, she stopped humming, is there something wrong. We could go check on her, embrace her small form, snatch bits of the food she is preparing according to your tastes. No! She'd freak out, run away. I know another solution.
I walk to my bedroom, away from her temptation.
Now where did I put it, that old thing the president gave me so long ago…
I search my wardrobe, and other storage place, until I find the old guitar. It used to be part of the President's hippie costume but when he tried to play it, it did not sound like he thought it would, so he gave it to me, to learn Japanese songs. I nearly forgot about it, until she started humming in my car. It is a really nice melody, but I don't recognize it. Boss mentioned something about a new idol he discovered, he seemed to be winking a lot when he dropped hints about her. Yeah, knowing him he made it a LoveMe assignment.
Sighing I pull out the guitar, and tune it. She had been looking so intensely at me, like she was trying to figure me out. Did she notice something? If she does I hope she won't keep silent like she did when she starred in HIS PV. Or when she was stalked. But then again her real reason for acting in his PV, and her reasons for acting, they turned so pure.
You asked me where to begin
She sought my help to act, in order to change yourself. But I wouldn't know, as I am still trying to find myself too. I am too lost in my sins to give her any advice.
The guitar slowly wakes up in my hands. As the melody slowly takes over my mind, I think back at one of the last times the Heel siblings met. They had talked about 'their past'. Setsu had started to asked her brother when he fell, but before she could clarify whether she meant falling in love or sin, she was interrupted by the wannabe hamster/actress. But whatever she meant, I wouldn't be able tell her where. Here, America, Kyoto? 'I' wouldn't know. But if my spirit were to be lost, I wonder if I'll be able to find what is near. Like the blue bird, which is said to be closer than one thinks. SHE has proven that to me, maybe she'd be able to find me when I'm lost again? She wouldn't question, for I am not alone. You sure aren't bro. Pf, somehow, I will find my way home. HOME would be where she is, or else where she used to be, our clearing.
Home would mean eyes like the sun, which rises here, in the east, in the 'land of the rising sun', with its rising actress blessed with eyes like the sun. So shall my heart be at peace? 'Here'?
If she'll ask me again when, I'd say it started at the end. You plan to propose at the clearing? The sarcasm of my inner voice cannot be misinterpreted, still I think it might actually come to that. You know, your will to be free is matched with love, right? Yeah, save your speech, it is matched because 'we' ran away from the love overload.
But talk will alter my prayer, once I prayed to be recognized for my own talents, now partly because of the Lovemon, my prayer is for her to recognize me, for me. Poet, you should write that down. Still, whenever I think about what I want I end up thinking about a princess in a secret garden. The elven princess who has been blinded by a curse. The princess who sadly doesn't realize that her friend is close by her side. Her friend whom she thinks speaks in an ancient tongue. Oh, how she translated my slight American accent to a fairy accent, everything I did or say, she effortlessly translated to fit her own story. Though she never twisted my words, she merely took my metaphors seriously. As I tried to 'fly' she saw remainders of my wings. And how honestly she wished for me to be able to truly fly. That seasons wish came true, I assured her. But still she does not realize every one of my personal seasons began with her, she's always on my mind.
She sees only one world, one in which we all melt into one, one string of fate. Am I still lost in my sin? As she holds my, her brother's, hand, it seems like we're getting somewhere. And if my spirit is strong, I might just talk to her, tell her everything.
"Tsuruga-san?" Oh, he isn't in the living room anymore, maybe he is taking a nap? I shouldn't wake him, but the food is nearly finished.
" ~ so lost in my sin," before I can knock on his door I hear his solemn voice and slow guitar music, perfectly keeping up with his voice. He sounds so lonely, it is not in my place to intrude in such a private moment. I'll call him once the food is ready to be served. As I walk back to the kitchen, my mind starts to drift once again. He'd never tell you, but he can play guitar, apparently. There is so much he can do. I think he can see through anything, anything but my heart. I am guarding that place of misfortune, with half my grudges! But still I think their vigilance is slipping, as Setsu I start when I wake up and see his face. And Setsu will always think about how beautiful he is. Yes, I probably know pretty much everything there is to know about him but if someone were to ask me if I love him … "I'd lie."
"What would you lie about, Mogami-san?"
So, how did you like it? In the next chapter I'll post which songs I used, until then feel free to guess. Oh, and I am not sure when I'll update next. I write when I have time and inspiration, so it might take awhile, sorry! Please be patient with me!