Red arrow:
Today,I had sex with my replacements sister. I think this makes us even. FML
Artemis:
Today,I witnessed my mom run over a bird with her wheel chair. FML
Aqualad:
Today,I realised how lonely I was when I started talking to a fish cracker,FML
Cheshire:
Today,I gave my fuck buddy a blowjob against the fridge,the first time I've actually used the kitchen. FML
Green arrow:
Today,I watched my new protégé get a bit too friendly with the team clown. FML
Lex luthor:
Today,I offered my son some drugs. I thought I was being a good dad,apparently not. FML
Conner:
Today,I HATE MONKEYS. FML
Miss martian:
Today,I accidentally gave my boyfriend amnesia. Maybe erasing his memory wasn't a good idea. FML
Artemis:
Today,I walked in on my sister and the person I hate having vigorous sex. FML a
Kid flash:
Today,I watched my taco fall on the floor. FML
Kid flash:
Today,not only is it my birthday but today is the day I delivered an organ,got into a fight,but also found out my teammate is dating the girl I like. FML
Black canary:
Today,I got accused of making out with one of my students,it wasn't even me. Damn it Megan! FML
Superman:
Today,my wife is forcing me to become more involved with my apparent son. FML
Robin:
Today,I was so mad during my training lesson,I punched a hole in the wall,only for my butler to force me to fill the hole. FML
Zantanna:
Today,I realised I'm the reason my dad died. Stupid shiny helmet being so shiny! FML
Kid flash:
Today,I slept at my uncle Barry's house only to hear him and my aunt make love. I was in the same room as them. We were in the living room. FML
Miss martian:
Today,I burnt my cookies. FML
Miss Martian:
Today,I realised I have such a big obsession with the Megan show,that I dress the same as her and use her catchphrase. FML
Superboy:
Today,I realised how obsessive my girlfriend is when I found out she named me after a character in her favourite programme. FML
Cheshire:
Today,I watched my dad try to kill my fuck buddy once again. This is becoming a habit now. If only he wasn't on the other side. FML
Kid flash:
Today,was my first day back at school,trying to show off in gym in front of a really hot girl I decided to run track,not only did I trip over and bang my head,I farted...loudly. FML
Aqualad:
Today,I was hugged by an old man after saving him from a fire. The most intimate thing that's happened to me in months. FML
Robin:
Today,I lost in the mathletes challenge. FML
Artemis:
Today,my boyfriend decided to surprise me by hugging from behind. Not only did I sweep kick him onto the floor and break his nose. But also gave him amnesia. FML .
Red arrow:
Today,my estranged wife came home from a job. Out of habitual greetings she groped me,kissed me,and tried to drag me to bed. Both our families were in the room. FML
Artemis:
Today,my boyfriend gave me a very noticeable hickey. I tried covering it up but my mom saw,now I'm grounded and can't even go on patrol anymore fml.
Superboy:
Today,what is FML? FML
Superboy:
Today,my ex girlfriends rebound guy is a large green fish boy. Guess who hasn't moved on? FML
Lex Luthor:
Today,my son pressed charges against me as well as a restraining order. I'm the one dad who's making an effort but his other dad wants nothing to do with him and our son still sucks up to him. FML.
Lex Luthor:
Today,I tried a new antibaldness shampoo. I now realise how much more menacing and masculine I look without hair. FML
Cheshire:
Today,my husbands twin decided to teach my three year old daughter how to cock block my husband and I. We can't even touch each other without Lian pointing at us and shouting "brother" or "sister". FML
Red arrow:
Today,my wife was giving me a blowjob when our daughter,my wife's sister,and my former mentor walked in. They didn't even have the decency to leave the room. FML
Anyone on the team with a dad:
Today,I found out my mentor was gay. I found this out when I caught him in the middle of getting frisky with my dad.
Artemis or Jade:
Today,my dad decided to drop by for a surprise visit. We don't particularly get on well due to past events,but a phone call would have been nice. At least then I wouldn't have embarrassed myself by answering the door naked expecting my boyfriend. FML
Wally:
Today,whilst on a mission,I watched the girl I like take out some bad guys single handedly. I guess being impressed turns me on. Too bad she noticed. FML
Wally:
Today,I had to go to the toilet. I was in the middle of a physics class but desperately had the urge to go,after asking my strict teacher he refused to let me go. So I made up a lie that I heard works by a few friends and told him I was on my period. I'm a guy. FML
Zantanna:
Today,I was pulled over by a teacher. They told me I was in serious trouble and that my guardians would be consulted of what I have done. I didn't do anything but apparently I caused arson to the schools gym, stole school property and am suspected to have an STD. Apparently I look like the sort to do that. FML
Artemis or zantanna or m'gann:
Today,I'm in love with my boyfriend but I get the best sex with his dad. FML
Wally:
Today,I was lying down to relieve my stomach pains and nausea. I ended up puking on my own face. FML
Wally:
Today,my girlfriend refused to make me a sandwich. FML
Wally:
Today,i went over to my girlfriends mothers for a family dinner. One minute we're in the middle of eating the next her dad storms through the door threatening me with a gun. After the situation calmed down the family decided to play on the wii with my girlfriends niece. Not only did I trip and break my right arm,but the wii remote smashed the TV. The TV my father in law bought. I had to go to hospital with two broken arms. FML
Artemis: cameron was in town:
Today,my girlfriend had another pregnancy scare. That's the third time this month. Too bad I had a vasectomy three years ago. FML
Red arrow:
Today,my wife and I found our wedding night video. We didn't even know we had a wedding tape so left it in the top draw to watch later. It just so happened our daughter was sleeping out at her aunts and instead of packing her barney video I packed the wedding tape. Both our five year old daughter and my wife's sister were mortified,apparently the content was far too graphic for an 18. FML
Mgann:
Today,my boyfriend of five years broke up with me. I tried to make the situation better by making him forget we had broke up. He remembered. We've been together for his whole life and the best years of mine. After he made it clear he didn't want to be with me,I didn't have the heart to tell him I'm pregnant and madly in love with him. FML
Cheshire:
Today,I walked out on the love of my life. Why? His obsession has caused problems on our marriage,and his penis had caused problems in my uterus. I'm now pregnant,alone and searching for my husbands twin. FML
Wally:
Today,I woke up in Paris. Confused,I couldn't find my girlfriend any where. After getting up and going into the bathroom I realised there was a tiger (cuddly toy) there. My mind thought back to the hangover movie and I decided to go check the roof or in this case the balcony to see if she was there. Oh she was there alright,and so was her psycho ex boyfriend. FML
Sportsmaster:
Today,I witnessed my oldest daughter take the enemy into her home. It's safe to assume she's gone soft,although not too soft. She comes out with more bruises on her neck than I gave her in her beatings. FML
Wally/kid flash:
Today,I was outran by my girlfriends mom. I'm one of the fastest people alive,and she's in a wheelchair. FML
Aquaman:
Today,I was having sex with someone i didn't know well. I didn't have protection but she assured me I could easily pull out. Just as I was about to cum and pull out she wrapped her legs around me tight and screamed "BE MY BABIES DADDY!" I couldn't pull out in time. FML
Green arrow:
Today,I proposed to the love of my life. She said no,took the ring and screamed in my face. Dammit Canary! FML
Red arrow:
Today,the psycho bitch who has tried to kill me on multiple occasions,kissed me in front of her sister,flirts her way with me out of jail and who I share lots of sexual tension with,got married today..to me.
Red arrow:
Today,my mother in law asked my wife and I how exactly we got together. My wife explicitly explained how we got together and how we started dating. No those two answers are not the same. FML
Red arrow:
Today,my whole family and former teammates criticised me for not inviting them to my wedding. I was in Paris with jade at the time,with no plans on getting married..yet(until three days later). They'd all abandoned me and my searches,and weren't exactly pleased to find out I was working with jade. Also I'm good,she's bad as if they'd have turned up.
Artemis:
Today,I started my period...the exact moment my boyfriend and I decided to loose our virginities. FML
Conner:
Today,my girlfriend and I decided to looses our virginities. Too bad we aren't exactly normal. We sat on the bed for more than half an hour,unsure of what to do. I guess there's some things I don't inherit from lex. FML
Kaldur:the lonely fish:
Today,it's New Year's Eve. Everyone had their New Years kiss and all I got was a peck on the cheek. Are you f***ing kidding me. FML
Kaldur:
Today,my girlfriend left me for another man. This man happens to be my best friend under the water. He also happens to have a pony tail. FML
Wally or robin:
Today,I sneezed on my crush. FML
Artemis:
Today,my boyfriend broke up with me. His reason? I'm racist to gingers. FML
Artemis:
Today,I thought my sister was being abused by her husband. After years of being abused by our father i stormed in. It turns out they were trying it rough. FML
Cheshire:
Today,i came round to collect my daughter from my sisters house after she'd offered to babysit. She wasn't answering so I used my spare key. When I opened the door I walked in on her and her boyfriend having sex. I'm just glad I can say I got the better and bigger red head. FML
Paula:
Today,I realised my daughters inherited my fondness of gingers. Good thing they don't know about my secret red head love affair back in the 80s.
Robin:
Today,whilst me and my girlfriend were having sex. She stared at her Justin Bieber poster. She even called his name. I don't know what's worse. FML
Zatara:
Today,my daughter told me about her new boyfriend. I was a little worried at this but then she told me too calm down and not worry because it was just for sex anyway. She's 14. And already like her mother. FML
Red arrow:
Today,it's my birthday and my two year old daughter dislocated my shoulder. Funny,my wife dislocated my shoulder 4 years ago on my birthday too. Some things just shouldn't be genetic. FML
Cameron:
Today's my wedding day,too bad the bride didn't show up. Never date a twin..especially a terror. FML
Riddler:
Today,I riddled a riddle,that if one riddle riddled out another riddle a riddlers riddle would be riddled. FML
Cheshire:
Today,my husband and I were about to have sex. We were stripped down in our underwear,making out when suddenly the baby monitor went off. It wasn't our daughter. It was my husbands little sh*t of a twin,he was using the baby monitor to ask roy for a sandwich. FML
Cheshire:
Today,at the park with my husband and daughter we saw my dad. He not only insulted me on becoming soft,intimidated my husband but tried to run off with my daughter. So much for a normal family day out. FML
Cheshire:
Today,I caught my sister kissing my husbands twin. I don't know if this is a part of grief,or if she's out for my husband next. Wrong red head. FML
Artemis:
Today,it's been two years since my boyfriend died. Our dog still waits for him by the door each day at two pm,when he usually came back :(
Kaldur:
Lonely,lonely,lonely,lonely my current mood stata. The problem is..I'm hot.
Garth:
My previous girlfriend died a few years back,she chose me over my best friend. He truly loved Tula. He says he's forgiven me but today I found out he's been sleeping with my mom. FML
Cheshire:
Today,my family pointed out that my husband and I can't do anything normal with out arguing or getting intimate or both. We both argued that we don't then left to go have sex in the car. Point proven.
Cheshire:
Today,my daughter wouldn't stop crying. She cries every time my husband or I leave to go on a mission,even though we're retired. Great,6 more days of this FML
Wally:
Today,I left for a mission. I asked my best friend to take care of my girl friend whilst I was away. Oh he took care of her. Used a condom and everything. FML
Artemis:
Today,i realised just how bad my cooking was when I gave both myself and my boyfriend food poisoning. At this current moment we are both fighting for the toilet due to the diahrea.