"Who's Your Daddy"

A Star Wars (ROTS) crossover with the Anna Nicole Smith saga and "Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey." Also elements of Britney Spears, "What Dreams May Come", and a few soap opera scenarios. If you know these other stories, it will be very funny, if not, you might not get the hunor in it. Warning, don't be too shocked or take anything too seriously, it's just for fun.

Chapter 1

A Plan of Deception

Anakin and Padme lay on a motel bed in the dark, watching the lights passing by the windows through the curtains and hoping they weren't being watched. It had been this way ever since they had proclaimed their love at Geonisis more than two years before when they thought they were going to die. They had wanted to be married, but were afraid it couldn't be done secretly enough, so they settled for being married in their hearts, and in the eyes of the force.

To confirm this, Anakin had bitten Padme's neck, cut his own left wrist, and let their blood mingle into each other's. They were blood mates, part of each other forever. Anakin's midichlorians had taken root in Padme's body, and now she was beginning to have minimal ability in the force. Since she was not born a force sensitive, this played havoc with her body, emotions and hormones at times. Anakin worried how this would affect her, but whatever came their way, he was there to protect her.

They rolled under the covers wrapped tightly around each other. "I will always love you, Anakin, even if I find I have to marry that old man, you know, for the power and all."

Anakin breathed heavily, taking his face from her neck where he'd been kissing her. "It makes me sick to think of him...touching you, but I know it's all part of the plan."

"That's right, I don't love him, I never will. I marry him, become his heir to all that money and power, then when he dies..."

Anakin growled as he took another mock bite of Padme's neck. "I'll have a rich widow to marry! And you and I will rule the galaxy, make things the way we always wanted them to be!"

"Ha, ha!" She cackled. "I can't believe that idiot Gungan got the whole Senate to grant that old fool absolute power!" She kicked her legs in the air, sending the sheets flying to the floor.

Anakin rolled on top of her, pretending to pin her arms above her head across the pillows. "If anyone can drive that old coot to his grave, it's my hot baby right here! You'll be the death of him!" They both laughed wickedly.

The plan was in motion. Padme, a fellow Naboo politician, had managed to work her wiles on Palpatine, unaware he was the Sith Lord the Jedi were looking for. Even the Jedi had been too blind and foolish to see it. His plan was to play the kindly old politician to gain their trust so he could run both sides of a fake war and create a Galactic Empire with him as Emperor. It was Padme's plan to be his consort, then take it all for herself and her true lover. As the Jedi were clouded by the dark side, he was clouded by his own ego. He believed the beautiful young senator loved him. There were whispers and rumors, and taboid stories that she was only a trashy golddigger, but he was playing right into her hot little hands.

As hard as it was to leave hot Anakin in that warm bed, she pried herself away, dressed and headed back to get ready for work. In the morning, her trap was fully set. "Good morning, my love." Palpatine met her in his office, rubbing his hands down the sides of her soft, gorgeous face. "I've been waiting for you."

"I find it hard to keep myself away." She said with such conviction his ego and the dark side would not let him see through her lies. How she agonized each time he touched her, even breathed on her. She dreaded knowing what was coming on her wedding night, but she was ready. She would have to be so sexy that it killed him.

Only a few days later, the bells rang in Naboo as the famous pair was wed. Padme's parents, while proud of the match for status reasons, were disappointed she had not chosen a younger, kinder man. They worried for her happiness. Padme didn't, because she knew it wouldn't be for long.

That night, as he took her to his bed, she cringed inside while he took off her velvet robe and touched her. Back at the Jedi temple, Anakin could sense her suffering through the force, and he paced back and forth in his own personal agony knowing what was happening. His angel, that devil...he could hardly restrain himself. But he knew that while she was tainted now, it was for a greater cause and it would all be worth it.

In the morning, Anakin found himself face down at a table, not even remembering having fallen asleep from exhaustion. His comlink rang.

"Yes? How, is he?" Anakin whispered.

Padme sighed heavily. "You wouldn't believe it. He's no ordinary old man. He...well, let's just say, he's not dead."

Anakin was furious. "He's NOT? How long is this going to have to keep going?"

"Don't be upset my love, I promise, I'll do him in soon, be patient, I love you, YOU, not him, remember that..."

"I will try."