My First Songfic: IN BAILEY'S POV
Speak up, your silence is killing me
I've had enough, baby speak up
Are you lovin' or hatin' me?
Cuz I can never tell
I looked at Cody deeply in the eyes. Why hadn't he said a word? He's been silent. It's killing me! I don't even know if this boy loves me anymore! It's like he never says a word. Never says anything when I'm around him. Never says the words I've always wanted to hear from him. I've never heard those three magical words. It's hard to know if somebody loves you if they don't even say it once. 'I love you'. Why can't Cody tell me those words? Can he tell me how he feels?
I'll be the first to admit it
Been silent for a minute
Thinking like damn is he feeling me?
Okay, I'll admit it. I don't know if he loves me. I told you that once, and I'll tell you again. Does he love me? Is it real? Or is this too good to be true? Was our love always fake? Can he just tell me how he feels. Really, I don't understand the truth! Am I his girlfriend, or is he playing me? Love is hard, but it's never been harder for me. I've been through a lot with boys, but Cody is making this the hardest relationship I've ever been through. Is he feeling me?
We fell in love took a second
But now I'm always checking
Cuz I never hear you say what you really think!
Yes, it just took a second for me to realize I was in love with him. But I can never be sure if he still loves me back. No matter what we go through, I just have to check. "Cody do you love me?" I just die to ask! So then I really do it, but no he doesn't say a word. What's wrong? Is it me? Is it him? What is going on! All he does is stare at the ground. Now I don't know what to say!
Some days I feel it then I feel it's over
Some days were harder then some days were colder
When you open up, our love is alive
Sometimes I just think we shouldn't be together. Sometimes I think it's over between us. But then I think, there are some days where he just walks away. Those days are harder, but this is still hard. But I know there were harder times between us! But finally when I ask one more time, he nods. This isn't the worst day. At least he says yes. He nodded. That's a yes. But he didn't even say the words that he loves me! Is it too hard?
But now you're quiet and I'm dying inside!
The next day, I ask again. But seriously, this time he doesn't say a word. But I remember there were other times when he walked away. At least Cody gave me a nod yesterday. But when he doesn't say a word. Not even giving me a nod, I feel all stiff. My throat hurts bad. My stomach is hurting. I feel like I'm going to die if I don't get the answer I want to hear. But I don't care if it's not a good answer. I don't care if it's not what I want! I'm just dying to know if he will tell me the truth!
So baby speak up
Cuz your silence is killing me
I've had enough, baby speak up
Are you lovin' or hatin' me
I ask him to speak up, and tell me how he feels, because this silence makes me die. It's killing me! I want to know, does he love me or hate me? What's the truth? All I want for him to do is speak up! Is he going to walk away from me like those days that were colder and harder for me? Or will he at least give me a nod like yesterday? I ask again and again, but the room just goes silent! He has no answer! Does that mean he doesn't love me? What's the truth, Cody? I want to know!
Cuz I can never tell, I can never tell
Just let your heart say what you can't say (speak up)
Let your heart say what you won't say (speak up)
Don't let the silence tear us away
I can never tell how Cody really feels about me. What does his heart say? I'm wondering right now. What can't he say to me? His heart has the answer. Does he love Bailey Pickett? That's me. That's my question. I'm Bailey. Does he love me? If he doesn't answer right now, at least give me a nod, or tell me that he doesn't love me, I'll just walk away, like he did to me before. This silence is about to tear us away. Cody, this is your last chance to be with me! Answer, and we can still be together, or at least give me the right idea on how you feel!
Cuz I can never tell, I can never tell
If you don't speak up
Seriously! I can't tell how you feel, Cody! I just want to tell him that. So I do. I say it. I tell him! Will you answer, Cody? "How do you feel, I really can't tell!" Those are the words that I said to him. I can't tell how you feel, Cody if you don't speak up and tell me the truth. It's what your heart says! Not what I want you to say! It's not my answer! It's yours! Not yours, it's your heart's answer. What does your heart want, Cody?
I don't know where you've been
But nothing's making sense, I'm standing on this fence for you
And even when you're here, somehow you disappear
If I can read your mind, I'd know just what to do!
I wish I could read this guy's mind. I'd know what to say! I'd know what Cody really feels! Nothing will ever make sense till you answer me, Cody. This isn't a game, I'm being serious. I love him so much, but he's being so hard. Can't he be open and tell me the truth. It feels like Cody isn't even here sometimes! When I asked him a minute ago, he hasn't replied. It's like Cody isn't in this room! I feel stupid, because it feels like Cody isn't here, and I'm talking to myself. But he is here, I can see him! But he feels so fake! He isn't replying to my voice. It's like he disappears every time I look away. I don't see him, and I don't hear him. "Cody, I want the truth now!"
Some days I feel it then I feel it's over
Some days were harder then some days were colder
When you open up, our love is alive
And now you're quiet and I'm dying inside
Seriously, sometimes I do feel it's over. And now it's that feeling again. This is your chance, Cody, just tell me how you feel. I loved it back then when you could tell me how you feel. You weren't this nervous, you never did this to me! What's got in to you, Cody? I really need to know! Should I take you to a therapist? Do you need help expressing your feelings? Are you having trouble? Because this silence is just KILLING ME! I feel like I've been shot with a gun. It's been silent for five minutes now. I know you're here, I see you. But I can't hear you. Are you a ghost? Where are you? I feel dead, just tell me and keep me alive!
So baby speak up
Cuz your silence is killing me
I've had enough, baby speak up
Are you lovin' or hatin' me
Cuz I can never tell, I can never tell
Just let your heart say what you can't say (speak up)
Let your heart say what you won't say (speak up)
Don't let the silence tear us away
Cuz I can never tell, I can never tell
Speak up
Alright, Cody, just speak up. I know he can tell me how he feels. I haven't said anything. I didn't ask him if he needed to go to a therapist. That was all just in my head! I just want him to speak up. I'm thinking this in my mind. SPEAK UP! Do you love me or hate me Cody? Now I really ask something, "Do you love me or hate me?" Still he doesn't answer. Now I'm thinking again. I don't want the silence to tear us apart. But he's leaving me no choice, if he doesn't answer, I'll have to go, and our love will be gone. Now's your chance, Cody, all you have to do is speak up!
I'll be out the door before the sun comes up
(Try) Try to be the one, (I) gave it all I got
(I'm) Giving you your last chance (if you don't speak up)
Say all the words that you never said, oh
Write all the letters that I never read, oh
Show me your words or the love is dead
It's been a little too long. Now I'm really saying this, it's your seriously last chance, Cody. You're still silent. Not giving me a nod! Can't you be an open book like you were before? At least write it to me on a paper. I really need to know! Can you tell me if our love is dead? Is it alive? Or is it dead? If you don't speak up, I'm walking away, and we'll be over for good. You'll never get another chance to speak up like this, cuz' we'll be over! So tell my right now if our love is dead or alive. I need to know the truth. Use a paper, use your head, use your mouth! I don't care! I just wanna hear it from YOU! Not someone else, you! But I would love it if you'd be open and tell me from your mouth. But just tell me the truth. Look that was in my head, but I'll say something aloud now. "Cody, I love you, now tell me if you love me!"
First to admit it, been silent for a minute
Thinking like damn is he feeling me
We fell in love, took a second
But you about to wreck it,
Cuz I never hear you say what you really mean
Even I have to admit it, but he won't do it for me? I told him that I loved him, it's been another minute! Can he tell me what he feels? He's about to wreck everything we've ever had, because he didn't have the guts, just to speak up. He won't tell me if our love is dead or not. I really want to hear what he really means. I don't want to hear a lie from you, I want to hear the truth. But now I'll have the guts to say something aloud again, "Cody we're over if you don't tell me how you feel!"
Baby speak up, cuz your silence is killing me
(your silence is killin' me)
I've had enough, baby speak up
Are you lovin' or hatin' me
Cuz I can never tell, I can never tell
Just let your heart say what you can't say (speak up)
Let your heart say what you won't say (speak up)
Don't let the silence tear us away
Cuz I can never tell, I can never tell
Speak up
If you don't speak up
Open up your mouth cuz baby I'm listenin'
"I LOVE YOU!" Cody cries.
"Why couldn't you tell me before?" I ask.
"I was nervous," Cody says, "It's hard to tell the woman you love that you love her more than anything in the world. I get... nervous."
"You're so sweet!" I say.
I step up to him and kiss him, and he kisses back. I guess he does love me!