Disclaimer: I own nothing, promise.

Rated M for: coarse language, violence, and potential future graphic sexual scenes

A/N Hello Everyone! This is my first ever time posting here (which is a little terrifying). This story has been sitting on my computer for years, and I figured it was time to post it. I would love your comments/reviews and I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1

He's got to be kidding me. He's got to be kidding me.

There is no way that he can begin his inane harassment BEFORE WE EVEN GET TO SCHOOL. Nope, no way. I refuse to believe it.

These were the exact thoughts Lily voiced to the two seated girls as she paced haughtily back and forth in their verging-on-claustrophobic train compartment. Marlene shook her head, trying so very hard to hold back her laughter. Emmeline just smirked as her eyes followed Lily's livid form back and forth.

"Not sure that's an option at this point, Lil" Marley said, her voice coated in laughter. Emmeline began to rummage through her rucksack. A few moments later her hand came out brandishing her warped brown notebook.

"Well, I can bloody well try, can't I?" Lily retorted, stopping her pacing for a moment and flicking her eyes to the both of them. "Don't you dare write a thing in that book, Emmeline." she hissed, pointing an accusing finger at the traitor.

"It's gotta be done, Lily." She reached into her bag once more and brandished a red quill. Marking a quick tally, Emmeline looked down at the page and counts the dashes "72." She whistled lowly. With that, the dark haired girl snapped the book shut on her lap. Lily rolled her eyes.

Lily absolutely despised that book. That damn book that had been started as a joke in third year and had gone on far too long (in Lily's opinion, anyway). Lily couldn't exactly remember how it had all started, she couldn't even remember a time before the book. Over the years, Emmeline and Marlene had created a system to categorize and document every instance of, what they liked to call, "The Potter-Evans Saga".

Any interaction Lily Evans had with James Potter had been color-coded, and any notable lines were recorded for posterity (and future humiliation of Lily). Red mark meant the traditional, unpleasant encounters that usually left Lily fuming and James with his ever-present smirk wider than usual. Black meant screaming matches, generally a very public affair. Blue meant that they had ended with hexes from one or both parties (generally just one, and generally just Lily). Green meant James Potter had asked her out.

Lastly there was grey, grey was used so rarely that the only time in recorded history it had occurred, Emmeline had had to charm her ink from its usual black. Lily was still highly doubtful that said event had ever even taken place because there was no way that Lily Evans and James Potter would have a decent interaction (Supposedly, it had happened 4th year after Lily's Transfiguration midterm. Lily had passed out on the couch in the common room and James had asked her to move her feet so he could sit. In a stupor, Lily had mumbled an unintelligible response and complied.)

Before she could form a proper sentence that consisted of "bugger off, Vance", a petit girl with bouncy blond curls whipped open the door to the compartment "Here you all are! I was hoping to catch you on the platform earlier. How is everythi—" she stopped suddenly as she caught what Lily supposed to be the fuming look on her face and glanced to Marlene and Emmeline with wide eyes. "Oh Merlin, what happened?" She sighed, sitting in the open seat to the left of the door.

Emmeline held up the red quill. "Already?" Alice laughed, shaking her head. The other two soon joined in with barely suppressed giggles.

"This is absolutely not funny! Everyone stop laughing now!" Lily stomped her feet and frowned petulantly. This only made them laugh more. It took them a few more minutes to calm down and keep a straight face.

"Alright, alright, what happened?" Alice asked, her eyes still crinkled with laughter

"Well—" She began.

"JAMES POTTER IS HEAD BOY!" Emmeline screeched, once again dissolving into laughter.

"He is NOT Head Boy! He probably bribed the real one for his badge, or stole it, or had a copy made or…Oh, bloody hell." Lily sank into her seat, covering her face with despair and shaking her head back and forth.

"James Potter is Head Boy." Alice repeated slowly, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. Lily groaned miserably.

"He is. Told me over the summer." Marlene confirmed, patting the red head's back comfortingly.

Lily lifted her head and shot a side-long glare at Marlene. "Oh, thanks so much for telling me that now. Not over the summer, when there was time to write Dumbledore and question his bloody sanity. No, instead I'm blind-sided by bloody Potter and his bloody badge!"

Marlene shrugged helplessly.