A/N: I'm not really sure if this is even any good- probably not, I've not written a Primeval fic in some time, and for those who've read my stories that I just... stopped writing... I'm sooooo sorry, though I know I won't carry on Back Up as I reread everything I wrote and just looked at it for some time and went, "What the hell..." and was completely lost as to what I was intending to happen in the end. However, I think I might start rewriting Missing Until Twisted because I actually wrote out a decipherable plan I found the other day... and I just love the plot. Regardless, I haven't seen all of series 4 but I thought Becker and Jess were quite cute so I had an urge to write them :) Enjoy and review!

PS, might carry it on.

Disobedience

Becker ached all over, head to toe, so much so he felt like his body no longer worked- even his heart was struggling to keep beating. Sliding into an unoccupied chair in the corner of the locker room, he ran a hand over his face and through his hair, longing for a good night's sleep.

The ARC was strangely quite now, seeing as it was steadily growing later and the sunlight outside had long since faded, but still, to him, it was somewhat unnerving. Manning the ARC felt like a full time job, and so it was almost laughable that everyone who worked there went home, on average, at eight o'clock, and actually slept. The only person who seemed to be on call 24/7 was Jess; he knew she had her phone wired up to the ADD, should, heaven forbid, an anomaly open whilst they were all tucked up in bed.

Jessica. Her name flashing through his mind forced him to exhale in a mixture of relief and frustration. The girl was stubborn, and too damn impressionable that it actually scared him, because that was the point, she was just a girl. Nineteen, he recalled, she was only nineteen and he had led her straight into the path of danger.

The terror on her face as she'd uncovered that bomb was still etched into his eyelids, like they'd been seared there by a hot poker, never to be removed. He'd be dead if she hadn't have stayed, if she hadn't been so bloody stubborn; and yet, all he thought about in those brief few seconds it took for him to realise she had unwittingly stumbled into that situation, was how he'd rather have himself die than her. He knew, unwillingly, that deep down it wasn't just because they were his orders. It was because of that face, so filled with innocence and the promise of life. Its subtle prettiness which carved the supple skin and flesh around the bone had captivated him momentarily- and for a second, he saw the essence of youth and beauty right there, and it had tugged vehemently on his heart. Such horror reflected in such young eyes, eyes that shouldn't have to witness such things, not yet, and he could do nothing, for if he moved, those eyes- that prettiness- would be gone.

The sweet smell of her still lingered on his clothes, mingled with the harsh essence of stale sweat and fading deodorant. He needed a shower, to feel clean once again, to rid his body of the dirt and grime, to release the knots which had formed in his muscles…

Becker made his way over to the showers situated in the decontamination unit, towards the front of the ARC, without seeing so much as a soul. Stripping down completely in front of one of the showers, he stretched a few of his muscles, wincing slightly and hearing the never ending cracking of his tired bones.

He moaned at the heat of the water pelting down on him, and for the entire time he was scrubbing the skin of his body red raw, he felt like he was in heaven.

"Hello?"

Freezing, Becker, just tall enough to see over the cubicle, laid eyes on the owner of the voice, "Jess? What are you doing here?"

Her eyes went wide as they fell on him, her gaze lowering considerably to where she could see his exposed legs at the bottom of the cubicle, as her cheeks violently flushed. Though clearly embarrassed, he could see her unwillingness to look away, and something, stirred inside him.

"I er… was kind of… staying late," she mumbled, her usually pale cheeks now blazing with blood, "I had some… work to do…"

As he stared at her, thin, slight tendrils falling across her face, he felt irrationally terrified as a feeling of once unfelt arousal smouldered away at him. Turning the shower head off, he remained there, staring at the wall and trying to clear his mind.

"Becker?"

Obviously it wasn't working.

"You should have… left," he sighed heavily, trying to calm himself as he could hear his own voice falter. Wrapping the towel he had slung over the side of the cubicle around his waist, he emerged under the fully scrutiny of her inexperienced eyes.

"I…" Jess tailed off, her fresh eyes flickering to the expanse of exposed flesh as her ears began to redden as well as her cheeks, "I… I couldn't just leave you there."

Dripping wet, Becker moved towards her, quite aware of the affect he was having on her, and was a little scared by it. She was young, a lot younger than him that was for sure. It was probably outside the norms of society to have conflicting feelings for… a colleague, one who was also seven years your junior. Regardless, he was a SAS soldier, a captain, and he shouldn't be having such… feelings for someone who, though younger than him, was technically his boss, even if she herself reported to Matt. Yet, by some means, that just made him want Jess even more.

"Why?" He murmured, his dark brown eyes, softer than they had ever been before, caught hers in a gaze, "I gave you a direct order and you disobeyed."

"I couldn't just watch you die," she retorted, and he heard the slight edge of frustration there, "I couldn't just stand there, helpless and stupidly looking on whilst… whilst you were dying."

Jess looked away, hurt and embarrassed, ashamed that he was pulling information out of her, bit by bit. It was hard enough not to look at him- soaked, invitingly warm and temptingly naked.

"People die in this job, it's inevitable," there was a hint of hurt and regret in his words, and yet, in someway, his bluntness stung her.

Jess forced the ghost of a smile to linger briefly on her lips, before it faded and died, leaving behind nothing but a vacant, if anything, wounded expression, "People only die if they give up easily… and I'm not letting you do that, Becker."

He had an overwhelming urge to roughly drag her into his arms and kiss her passionately; just by watching those delicately pink lips move as she talked. Restraining himself, he sighed heavily, turning away from her as his voice became serenely low, "You had no right to just… stay. If I give you a direct order, Jessica, I expect you to follow it, do you hear me? I will not lose another person."

She paused, a slight frown adorning her face as she absorbed his words, "I'm not a child, Becker, I can take care of myself."

That was the first time he'd heard her talk so coldly, with complete conviction, that it took him by surprise, and he simply looked over at her, a loss for words, "I never said-"

"But you think that don't you?" she snapped, suddenly irate with his calm façade. She was well aware of her position within the team- she simply managed them, and it felt pretty damn clear to her that all of them, even Abby to a certain degree, believed her place was sitting cosy in the ARC whilst they all put their necks on the line, "You think I can't handle anything, I'm just this… pen pusher who doesn't seem to notice the sheer gravity of the situation, well you know what, Hilary? I've had it, because I damn well know what you lot risk for this job, and yes, maybe it was a little too chivalrous of me to just waltz in a save you bloody life, but I frigging did it because I'm not a child."

Becker stared at her, a little disbelieving that she had addressed him by his first name, and allowed her words to wash over him.

Silence followed, as if it had the audacity to taunt them at such a moment, before he thought it best to hastily chase it away, "You're young, Jess-"

The heated flush rose in her cheeks again, and for a moment, he was enraptured, "Young, yes, but I'm a woman Becker."

The word woman rung about in his head as his eyes lingered on hers briefly, registering her words, realising that they oddly made sense. In brutal truth, she was right; she had legally been a woman and not a girl for a year, and yet still his tormented mind was sounding off warning sirens as he felt the familiar burning in his loins.

"I'm a bloody adult," she breathed, "and I know you want to protect me more than the rest because I'm so much younger than them, but I'm an adult, I make my own mistakes. You can't reprimand me, or implement rules you don't give to anyone else."

"I know," he croaked, now unable to meet her eyes.

"Then… why treat me differently?"

His dark eyes met fell on the snowy curve of her neck, hesitating briefly before they inched up to her rose cheeks, she was so… pristine and perfect, it made his heart jolt with unease, to be so close to… temptation. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he sighed heavily, deciding it was better out in the open than this… awkwardness that had formed between them.

"There are exceptions when-"

"When what?" Jess's eyes, so filled with expectation and disappointment, met his, and it was all he could do to keep staring back.

"When your feelings are compromised." Becker blurted, realising his chest was heaving with the effort of trying to remain calm and controlled. Her eyes widened in momentary comprehension, and she stood, shocked, staring at him, unmoving, as though she'd just witnessed something truly scandalous.

She didn't even stop him from leaving when he gathered all his clothes and exited the room without so much as a sound. She merely stood there, still trying to grasp the meaning of his words.

All that Becker could think of now, was how stupid it was of him to let his feelings get the better of him, considering that she clearly didn't feel the same way.

Bitterly, he dressed himself in fresh clothes from his locker, and made a bid to leave.

Reviews would be nice :)

GPR