Frozen over by your Love
I turned over onto my side, the bed sheets twisted around my body in a complicated pattern of knots and coils. I stretched my arm out, searching with my craving fingertips to find a source of heat – the chill from the bedroom window now unbearably unwanted. Patting the bed to find my space-heater, my hand came into contact with thin air.
"Jake," I mumbled, turning around. The bed was empty for all, but myself. The dent were Jacob had been lying had even been smoothed over – as if, every remnant I had of him had vanished, along with my Jake.
Pulling myself up onto my elbows, I looked around quickly. "Jacob," I shouted into the empty hallway of the Alaskan Summer House. My words only echoed back.
Jumping out of bed, wrapping my red robe around my body tightly to encompass the heat, I walked into the hallway and peeked into the other room looking for him, the sound of my bare feet against the wood the only audible noise. The large open-plan living area was bare of any life – the dark wood furniture and stone fireplace as inanimate as ever. It was as if no-one had ever been here.
Tossing any "think before you act" plan I could muster, I ran into the bedroom for the large enclosed closet. Throwing the doors open; I pulled out a long blue jumpsuit, boots with a fur-trim and my long coat that fell beyond my hips. Even though the sun was shining outside, the chill of the surrounding ice wouldn't be far off.
After quickly running my fingers through my bed-nestled hair and applying a thin layer of natural makeup; I locked the bedroom window and headed towards the door. Taking one last survey of the room, I came across a small envelope caught between the letterbox in the door-frame. I pulled it away, a smile pulling on my lips as soon as I noticed the fragile pink colour. "Trust you to play a game with me," I chuckled, opening it up and drawing the card away. I ran a finger over the elegant writing that sent my heart-beat in a spiral of feverish beating.
Happy Valentine's Day, my dear and beautiful wife, Nessie. I love you with all my heart, and I'm the luckiest man on the earth to have a claim to it. With all my sincerest and deepest love, Jacob XOXO
My smile widened at the "XOXO's" scrawled onto the paper – even though the card was just a materialistic symbol of his love, of his profound adoration, the words written into the paper were beautiful, but the thought of Jacob not being here at this moment stung. While placing the card onto the small table by the couch, something small fled from the envelope.
I picked it up. It was a small chance card from the board game Monopoly, except instead of the "get out of jail free" writing, it was Jacob's scrawled calligraphy. Directions, to be precise.
Many would think I'm crazy as to not be there when my darling woke on the day of Valentine's Day, but you deserve better than the average flowers and a candle-lit dinner by the moon. Therefore: follow the clues on these cards to find me, and your surprise. See you soon, my darling Ness XOXO
"You're crazy, Jacob," I giggled, my heart swelling thrice its size at the thought of him. "But, I love you for it." I hurriedly read the clue on the reverse side of the card, eager to be released: up the hill, through the trees, towards the place where fruit and flowers blossom at your laughter.
I instantly knew where I was going, our shared memories a map to the secret location that was so surreptitious that my fingers were trembling with anticipation. Opening the door tentatively and shielding the blinding sun from my eyes, I stepped onto the porch. The ashen landscape, surrounded by a bow of mountains like a safeguard, was glistening like the ground was row-after-row of solar panels. The occasional exposure of bare rock was neither bitter nor unpleasant, but rather comforting as to see the carpet of moss or lichen clinging to the surface in a substantial embrace.
After locking the door, I started climbing the hill I remembered so clearly – my boots frequently slipping, but steady enough that I made it to the top of the snowy knoll. Atop, was an arch of queuing trees, their branches a sprawl of wooden limbs, bare of its leafy attire. I ran through them, towards the small shack, smoke spilling from its chimney. The tangy smell of cooked apples stuck to the bridge of my mouth, making me lick my lips.
The girl at the counter, who was short, long brunette pigtails sprouting from the sides of her head, wiped her dirtied hands on her green apron. "Can I help you, madam?" she asked curtly.
"I was here a couple of days ago with my husband, Jacob Black," I cleared my throat. My eyes raked the scene of the "Make your own Apple Juice" business. For anything, for a sign, or clue. Anything that would lead me to Jacob.
"I remember you," she admitted, gasping almost slightly. "Lovely couple. You hung about the bouquet table most your visit; he said you loved the flowers, so sw–"
I held up my hand to stop her, "What did you say?" I demanded lightly.
"The bouquet table, you and your husband were there for most your visit. The roses are the best if you're considering buying, since its Valentine's Day and all," she babbled onwards.
I pushed past her, my mind racing - fruit and flowers blossom at your laughter, it had said. Running towards the long table, covered with a length of pink cloth, I saw bundles of red roses and bowls of fresh apples. But no note. It had to be here somewhere. I leant against the table, scanning the proximity for a sign – staring at the place we had been stud together a couple of days ago brought back happy recollections. Amusement, admiration, love – I remember spilling my apple drink on Jacob, a rose had been clenched between his teeth as we had danced.
It hit me. I looked around at a quicker pace than I expected, my hands patting the table top hurriedly to find what I was looking for. The counter-girl looked onwards without a word, "Do you need any help?"
"I'm fine," I stumbled. "Where do you keep the fini– aha!" I squealed with delight when I saw it. A small wine glass filled with fresh juice, a small rose bud slotted inside the glass – its petals soaked in the sweet smelling nectar – it was a reminiscence of our laughter, my laughter, when we had been here.
Propped up on the glass was a small chance card, I picked it up: Alice is going to be furious that we ruined that Dolce & Gabbana shirt, but you're happiness is worth it. Now: follow the trail of explosions of stars that appear in your eyes every time I look at you.
Thrusting the card deep into my pocket, I spun on my heels and bolted for the door. The counter-girl caught up, "Do you want this to go?" she bellowed.
"Keep it," I replied, already running knee-deep in snow. The watery texture of seeping through my thin jumpsuit was an irritable drawback, but I ignored it and pushed forward.
Soon enough, I came to a clear rectangle of snowless ground – tyre tracks still imprinted into the tarmac from the numerous cars that had been here the night before. Myself, and Jacob, had been here to watch the explosions of fireworks. We had sat in the trees, his arms tight around my waist and holding me close, as my head had fitted into the angle of his neck.
"Your cunning, Jacob. But not sly enough to get away from me," I mused.
Once finding the tree we had sat in, I pulled my hands from my pockets, rubbing my palms together and grasping the tree, finding a hollow in which to hold my feet as I climbed. Holding onto a branch, I swung myself up, landing on the balls of my feet. I turned around to face the trunk of the thick pine tree, not willing to look down without Jacob's support, to find my next clue.
Pinned to the trunk was another red rose, and just underneath another chance card. Edging towards it, I grappled with the rose and card, pushing them into my pocket, before I climbed downwards. With my feet planted firmly on lower ground; I read the card leisurely, trying to catch my breath: Nearly there, love. Next clue: If my heart was a house, you'd be home.
I gave a heavy sigh of aspiration, "All this to go straight back home. What game are you playing, Jacob Black?" I pondered, biting my bottom lip.
Stepping towards an outcrop rock, I perched upon it. "There's no way, you would get me all this way to send me back home. There has to be somewhere close to here to go."
Like a sign sprouting from the ground saying "down here!" there was a resounding echo of a loud, gravelly voice. Pulling myself up from my hunched over position, I glanced down the hill. There was a small log cabin – I could see a warm fire blazing through the windows.
"There we go!" I applauded.
Running down the hill felt just as exhausting as it was to walk up it, except this time; it was the driving urge to have Jacob's arms wound around myself, to have his warmth turn my cheeks pink, to have his lips against mine as a Valentine's Day gift to tug me onwards.
Steam crept from under the doorway, the windows steamed up so I had to use my hand to wipe away the condensation. Inside it looked like any normal business office, rather than a cabin were myself and Jacob could spend the day together. I pressed my fingers to the window pane, they came across something sharp and angular and I yelped as it sliced my finger. Paper cut.
After cradling it for a second, my legs felt like half-melted wax. Lodged into the corner of the window pane was another chance card – I picked it up, three words sending my heart into over-drive.
Look behind you.
I felt warm hands wind around my torso, leaving trails of fire behind that ignited from within. Hot prickly breath at the nape of my neck – it smelt musty and of peppermint toothpaste. A wide grin was drawn on my face, my eyes closed at his spontaneous touch. "Happy Valentine's Day, Renesmee," he whispered low and huskily into my ear.
"Jacob," I couldn't breathe properly, as he dragged his kisses down to my neck. He pulled my body tighter against him.
"Hmmm," he mumbled against my cheek, his lips caressing my skin like velvet.
I was glad of his support, otherwise I would have toppled by now – Jacob was that type of catalytic reaction to me, once he was close I couldn't stand, or breathe without him. He was my oxygen, the stable ground I walked upon without falling. Born with a somewhat conflicted future ahead of him, came the purest of men – a man of gold. A man whom life was worth living for. "I like this surprise," I smiled.
Jacob turned me around, his warm brown eyes now drilling into mine. Putting a finger underneath my chin, he tugged up my face and pressed his lips down on mine. It was soft and tentative at first, his lips moulded against mine in a sweet symphony, but then it became fiercer. I pulled my hands around his neck, knotting my fingers in his hair, his hands repeating the steps in my own cascade of hair. There was not an inch of air between us: there was just me and Jacob, our heat and desire on the brink of combustion.
He pulled away, then placed soft plentiful kisses on each of my closed eyes. "That was just your 'hello,' darling. There's alot more left to go," he murmured softly, grasping my hand and leading to the front of the cabin.
My breath caught in my throat. It stuck there until I had to swallow it down. Jacob squeezed my hand tighter.
While I had just thought it was a business cabin sitting isolated in the snow, it had a reason to be here and that reason had my ribcage tightening in excitement. Over a small icy-dune, there sat silent and visually stunning, the lake – it was in the shape of a large crescent, the top frozen over thickly. Standing close to the edge, I could see various coloured seaweeds and few cold-water fish swimming underneath the sheet of ice, which resembled a large reflective mirror. Far from it, was a tall cliff – water toppling over the edge in a cascade of chilled water, a small circle of the lake underneath it unfrozen and the clatter of the water against it was deafening, but mesmerising. It rose as an arctic mist, before dancing upon the surface of the choppy waves airily.
I looked at Jacob with a blazing desire in my eyes, trying to blink away the stinging tears. "It's beautiful, Jacob. I never told I liked stuff like this, but you knew," I sobbed.
"No crying, honey," he soothed. Jacob hugged me tightly, his hair tickling my face. "You deserve it, but just wait until you see what we have to do."
"What have you got planned then, Romeo," I coaxed, drawing circles in his arm with my finger.
He ruffled my hair before pulling my towards a small wooden jetty – except there was a lack of sailing boats, rather there were just boats with ski's attached. Never in my entire life had I heard of boats with skates.
I looked at Jake expectantly. He pulled me towards them, until we were standing besides two – there sails in bright succulent shades of red and yellows. "There call ice-boats. It's nick-named ice-sailing, so we are going to glide across the frozen lake," he explained.
"Popular winter-sport back in the day to," an old man with a worn face and out-sided moustache said unexpectedly. He walked towards us – he must be here to tell us how to direct these ice-boats. "Now, you two climb aboard and I'll show you how to do it."
After Jake gave me a helping hand onto the surf-board like top of the ice-boat, he clambered upon his, steadying himself using the thin mast. The old man – his name-tag calling him Bert – directed us on how to move: using our feet to kick off the boat, almost like a skate-board, and direct the boat using the mast to tilt it in different directions. It seemed simple to understand, yet complicated while standing there.
"Understood?" We both nodded quickly, although I could see that both of us were somewhat uncertain in our replies. "Right, well. Give her decent push off, and the rest should be easy picking. Have fun, you young love-birds."
With Bert walking off, his arms crossed behind his back, I gave Jake a subtle unsteady look. However, I knew once I had pushed off and was skating across the ice, I'd love this – I always did have a passion for winter sports, but this unusual activity was unknown to me. Jacob held steady onto his mast, his foot on the ice ready to push off. "You ready to race?"
"Bring it on," I cried. Jacob's boastful shout had dissipated my coiling anxiety.
Giving the ice boat a powerful kick off, he sailed across the ice. It looked almost like ice-skating, except on a boat, the skates leaving thin translucent lines carved into the ice.
Counting to three in my head, I heaved a push with my foot. Grabbing a tight hold of the mast; I felt like I was gliding, like my feet were hovering over the ice, but propelling me forward in swift, graceful, movements. The feeling evaporated soon enough, leaving me with a creeping sorrow. I kicked off again, eager to feel free and at flight once again, to ease the craving of that addictive sensation. My peeling laughter rang through the air like a siren. "Jacob, this is amazing!"
His own deep-throaty laughter conjoined with my own, as we drifted across the ice like lithe sinuous snakes slithering across the land. To feel so liberated and unbound was a frank independence that I desired so much, I yearned for it enough that my lungs filled to their maximum capacity thinking of the ambition.
Twisting the mast so the ice-boat bowed to the left, it came into near proximity with its sister counter-part, our sails close to touching – wanting to stretch out it's fingers and brush across the other. The skates attached to our boats slid across the ice in parallel striations: arching and curling to our responsive moments, as we kept in time with each other's direction; leaving a trail of patterned contours pencilled into the ice, a skeleton framework for our medley of contorted silhouettes.
After an hour of just skating around, enjoying the feeling of being fancy-free – as Jacob kept saying – and listening to Jake laugh so hard I thought we'd have an avalanche, he slowed besides me. "This is one of the best Valentine's Day yet – it was different and unique, and I love you for it." I bet over and pecked him sweetly on the cheek.
Gesturing me closer as the ice-boats stopped close to each other, Jacob came close to me. I thought he would kiss me, but then I felt the heat of his breath against my neck as he whispered in my ear. "Follow me, the day is not over. This was just an extra surprise, and a mode of transport."
"Lead the way," I replied breathlessly, electricity buzzing over my skin.
Skirting across the ice, we came to the small hollow of running water underneath the waterfall – a white mist sticking to our clothes and clouding my vision. A warm hand came into contact with mine, pulling me away from the ice-boat and around the water towards some jumbled rocks. Jacob pulled out a blindfold from his pocket, and without hesitation I closed my eyes and let everything go black.
I could feel my feet occasionally slipping on the boulders, but Jacob guided me through the mine-field of angular rocks, sharp edges and dangerously slippy moss. The roar of water vibrated in my ears. I swear I even felt it sink through my clothes and touch my skin for a moment. My feet hit solid ground, the enclosed area smelling like salt water and freshly baked apple pies. Such a strange combination. Leading me further inside, we stopped, his fingers behind my head and undoing the blindfold. It slipped from around my face. I put my hands over my mouth in a gaped expression, my throat to closed up for the words I was desperately trying to choke out.
"Oh my," I swallowed the lump in my throat down. The scene was stunning, you would hear about in movies but this was real, and it was for me: We were in a cave behind the waterfall, the water cascading in a downpour behind us, inside was a large picnic blanket settled out, food already sat around it with a bottle of cherry wine, then beyond it was a small pool of glistening water – filtered from the lake outside. The water shattered light around the cave, like gems had been incrusted into the rock.
"Do you like it?" Jacob mouthed, his hand stroking my arm.
I stepped away from him, sitting down on the blanket. I stared at the pool, wondering where the light came from to make it glow like that. "You spoil me, you know?"
Jacob chuckled, coming up from behind me. He lay down next to me, "You're worth everything, Ness. You're worth the moon, and since that's not buyable I came across this place for you."
I threw myself against him, kissing him feverishly. Forcing everything I could give him into it. His response was just as eager. Pulling away as I tried to catch my breath, I laid my head against my chest.
"Just wait until the moon comes up," he purred, stroking my hair.
The encounter was only brief, but it was the most beautiful thing I had seen in my entire life, besides Jacob and that warmth glow he radiated. While I had popped a grape into Jacob's mouth, he had nudged me to watch the pool. "Watch, my darling."
It turned out there was a hole in the roof of the cavern and when the moon swooped low over the sky, it's visually stunning white rays of light were filtered down into the cave, it hitting off the water of the pool – the crystal fragments found within the rock, shattering rainbows around the cave. It was so bright that it hurt my eyes, but also tears – tears of joy, there was no sorrow, never with Jake.
We were now back at the Alaskan Summer House, the fire already crackling and filled the room with some must-wanted heat – although Jacob's warmth was the heat I craved the most. Kissing Jake at the door, I slipped back into the bedroom and got changed into something comfy.
I pulled out my comfortable denim shorts, elbow-length white top and a red chequered shirt, which was knotted just above my stomach and lastly my UGG boots – Aunt Alice had objected to them when mom had bought them for me, "a fashion obscenity" she called them, but she was unaware of my skills to slip them inside after she had packed my suitcase. "All done," I called, walking into the living room.
Unknowingly, Jacob had changed into a shirt and was holding out a massive bunch of red roses towards me, there petals glistening with droplets of water. I took a hold of them, fingering the flowers gently, before placing them down and wrapping my arms around his neck, while standing on my tip-toes. "Alright, you've been attentive to my needs today; I feel its present time."
"Yours first, love," he pulled largely wrapped box from behind his back, a length of pink ribbon tied around the body of the box and in a bow placed on top. "Happy Valentine's Day," he kissed me softly.
I ripped the box open, wiping the wrapping paper away – if I know Jacob well, he would have went with a home-made gift I would adore. He never thought of anything materialistic for me, he said "I was worth the time and effort he put into the gifts he made for me." He sat down next to me on the couch, watching me unwrap his gift with careful eyes.
I lightly unveiled the gifts, my own breaths stolen away as I looked at the strikingly hand-blown glass perfume bottles. It smelt of newly grown peonies – my favourite flower. I picked one up, looking at it carefully, there was an inscription: 'Beauty: one that is beautiful, especially a beautiful woman; the quality that gives pleasure to the mind or sense and is associated with such properties as harmony of form or colour, excellence of artistry, truthfulness, and originality.' Underneath, were the words that made my body react catalytically: P.S. I love you. I picked up the second bottle, which was filled with flower petals and a piece of parchment. I picked it out, and read it.
I can't think of enough words to express how much you have done for me, and how much I owe you for making yourself mine – for becoming Mrs Black. Since I first saw you, thick cords of gold have attached you to me, my imprint, my beautiful and stunning Renesmee. I adore those deep chocolate browns eyes of yours make me melt into a puddle underneath your gaze; the perfect pout of your lips when they are swollen with my kisses, your curved cheekbones that were carved from the finest of angels so I could caress them softly, the flood of brown hair that cascaded down your back and tickles my neck, the perfect curve of your neck leading to your collarbone were I could nestle my head forever. Everything about you is perfect, Ness. And I hope you know that. You have all my love and adoration. With my deepest and profoundest love, Jacob. XOXO
Tears were pouring down my cheeks as I read the letter, running my fingers over the flawless words that were mine. Mine to keep. And from the most handsome and faultless man I know. Just as I went to put it aside to show Jacob my pleasure at his gifts, something fell against my knee. I dangled it from my fingers, looking at it closely – it was a gold chain, and hanging from it was locket: a picture hidden behind a glass casing, a painted portrait of Jacob, the smirk/grin I loved on him painted onto this small canvas that would forever be around my neck.
"Jacob," I cried, hardly unable to stop from crying these wonderful tears of perfect happiness. "These are so beautiful."
"Everything I said is true. I love you with all my heart, and always will," he recited, holding me tightly against his chest. After a moment of silence he chuckled, "Do I open my gifts now, I'm eager to see what you got me," he winked cheekily.
I pushed towards him a larger box than his, but he didn't seem to mind. Ripping it open, he came across the portrait I had painted of myself for him – he wanted one, as I did of him. Which I did and it was now hanging around my neck, nestled against my collarbone. "The perfect likeness, except for one thing," I raised my eyebrow; worrying that my gift wasn't in perfect condition. After what he had just given me, he deserved everything in its best state. He kissed my forehead, "It isn't you in real life," he mused.
Blushing from embarrassment, I gestured for him to continue.
Jake pulled out the journal next – it had been my diary since I was old enough to write in it. The very pages inside detailed my every feeling for Jacob, and what he meant to me. He looked at with a wide grin on his face when he saw the cover, it had "running with wolves" written on the front. Then I felt myself blush bright red as he open the cover and on the first page was my constant scrawl of "Mrs Jacob Black" along with thousands of pink hearts. "Dreams do come true," I purred.
"To know I was at the front of your journal all this time makes me smile – I could have seduced you earlier," his laughter was loud and booming. I punched him playfully in the arm.
"You could have, but personally I think your seduction had the perfect timing."
Leaning over him I turned to the next page, "I had this made for you. It's the shell you gave to me when we first walked across the La Push beach together, I've kept it ever since."
He looked at it closely. I knew he would be remembering the day we held hands, walking down the shoreline, the water running towards us and then retreating hastily. "I called it by 'By La Push Beach' for us," I chimed. – I took it from his fingers and clambered behind him, fastening it around his neck: it was leather cord with the large shell hanging underneath, and below that was a silver version of the infinity symbol. The same symbol Jake had given to me, but in ring form.
Before I could turn around, Jacob pulled me onto his lap. "Perfect," he murmured. "This is perfect."
"Actually," my fingers reached into my pocket and pulled out his last chance card. I reached over to the table and grabbed a pen – scratching out the last written words, I wrote in my own. "This is how it will end, and it will be more than perfect. But before that: open your last present."
He looked towards the somewhat-empty looking box. "There is another one?" he questioned.
"Open it," I demanded, getting impatient. My fingers were trembling with anticipation.
He wiped away the paper sheeting from over the gift and picked it up – his reaction was so loud, the sound vibrated through me and echoed in my ribcage. It was a two-person T-shirt. For me and Jacob. "You cheeky little devil," he tapped me on the nose.
I shrugged, "I thought you'd like it."
"So," he exaggerated the words, taking his time. "What is this last thing?"
I held towards him the card, the three words I had written over in his plain sight.
Kiss me Jacob.
His hands tightened around my waist as he swung me up into his arms as he stood up, his lips hard against mine. I groaned, threading my fingers into his hair. His breath mingled with mine – his kisses had now parted from my lips and trailed down my neck. From the corner of my eye, I saw him pick up the two-person T-shirt. "Let's try this on, shall we, my lady."
I laughed as Jacob then pulled me into the bedroom – and as night came, feathers flew as we ended Valentine's Day in the perfect bliss, in body and mind.