Summary: After the events of "Cyberwoman" and "Countrycide", Ianto is left emotionally broken. Will Jack be able to put him back together?

Rating: M

Characters: Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness, Toshiko Sato, Owen Harper, Gwen Cooper

Pairings: Jack/Ianto, Owen/Tosh

Warnings: Swearing, angst, suicide attempt, Gwen bashing

Spoilers: Cyberwoman, Countrycide

Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, I just like to play with them.

TWTWTWTWTW

Ianto sat alone in the back of the SUV, watching the organized chaos play out before him in a tear blurred haze. He wasn't sure whether to be disappointed or relieved to have been saved from the cannibals. True, he had been terrified, and the death would have been a slow, painful one. But then, it would all be over. No more pain. No more suffering. He would never again have to look into Jack's eyes, so filled with disappointment and hatred for him.

A few weeks had passed since Lisa had wreaked havoc on the Hub, killing both Dr. Tanizaki and an innocent pizza girl, and coming frighteningly close to killing the team as well.

Ianto didn't know it would come to that. He truly believed that Lisa could be saved. He just couldn't accept that the woman he loved was gone. The hope that he could cure her was all he had left of the life that had been ripped away from him during the battle at Canary Wharf.

But the team didn't understand that. There was no empathy for the tears that he cried. No words of comfort for his grieving heart. He was all alone. It was as it had always been since he'd lost Lisa.

Alone.

Ianto wasn't foolish enough to think that being invited along on this mission meant his status on the team had changed. He was still just the tea boy. Jack only wanted him along to keep an eye on him. He couldn't be trusted alone in the Hub.

It had never been said. It didn't need to be. It was implied all over Jack's features.

In the end, Ianto was useless. He couldn't save Tosh. He couldn't even safe himself. In the eyes of the team, the fact that he'd nearly ended up dinner to a village of cannibals was likely a fitting punishment.

The lack of empathy or concern as people flitted around him confirmed his suspicions. He'd been given a once over by the paramedics but, apart from some cuts and a lot of bruising, they didn't see anything wrong with him.

That's the thing. They couldn't see anything wrong. But after losing both the woman he loved, and the trust of the man he was growing to love, Ianto was already left in an emotionally fragile and vulnerable state. Being put in a position to die, and then so quickly dismissed after the rescue...well, that is what finally broke him.

Ianto felt dizzy, the noises around him becoming muffled, as if he were underwater. Steadying himself with his hands pressing to the SUV's floor behind his back, he carefully lowered himself, laying on his back and curling his legs inward to rest as comfortably as he could manage in the small space.

TWTWTWTWTW

Ianto awoke as the SUV jolted to a stop. As his eyes fluttered open, he wondered who had fastened him into the front seat. Blinking the sleep away, he noticed they had parked in front of his flat.

"Get some rest," Jack ordered. "And take tomorrow off."

Ianto nodded blearily at Jack, trying to pick up any trace of emotion in his voice and finding none.

"You okay?" the American asked, and this time, Ianto did hear his tone soften.

If Ianto hadn't felt so weak and overwhelmed with pain, both physical and emotional, he would have laughed bitterly at such an absurd question. Instead, he mumbled "yeah", stumbled out of the SUV, and made his way up the stairs to his building.

Once inside his flat, Ianto tossed his keys onto the counter and flicked on the lights as quickly as he possibly could. He didn't like the idea of being alone at the moment. The day's events hadn't exactly left him feeling very safe. But alone was all he would ever be anymore. He had no one.

Shuffling over to a cabinet, he pulled out a bottle of wine - one he had been saving for when Lisa was finally cured. Sighing heavily, he removed the foil seal, then popped the cork. "No sense in letting this go to waste," he thought, plopping himself down onto the couch.

Wrapping his lips around the mouth of the bottle, Ianto tilted his head back. Tonight, he just wanted to be numb.