Pictures

Before The Events on Horizon

"Hey! Don't tell me how to do my job!"

Commander Shist Shepard rolled his eyes at the sound of yelling, once again on his way to settle a dispute in the cockpit. "Joker!" he called once within five feet of the pilot. "It's not worth your time to argue with the AI."

Joker straightened his cap with a frown. "EDI locked down the speeds! Come on, I want to put the Normandy through her paces!"

"Traveling at unsafe speeds is a danger not only to you, Mr. Moreau, but to every crew member of the Normandy," the ship's AI explained. "My actions are merely safety protocol."

Shepard smiled. "The original Normandy crew wouldn't have had a problem with it, Joker. But Cerberus crew is different. We have to play nice."

Joker hung his head. "Dang. I miss them, Commander."

"You didn't seem too excited when we brought Garrus aboard," Shepard pointed out. "Well, yeah. He wasn't exactly the most pleasant of our crew."

"Then who was?"

Joker frowned, obviously deep in thought. "Hard to say, Commander. Tali was always good to my baby. And Wrex was just bad ass. And Kaidan... Well, I know he's gone now, but he'd been with us since the Normandy crew was first assembled. Liara was nice to look at, beyond her boring interest in the Protheans and sheltered naïveté."

"You're leaving someone out, Joker."

"I thought it'd be a sensitive subject for you, Commander. Everyone knows how much you miss her. Ashley... She brought out the best in you. The crew worked at peak performance when you were in the better moods, so I guess she might have been my favorite because she gave that to you."

"I think she was my favorite, too. Even though as CO, I'm not supposed to pick favorites."

"Yeah, I know, sir. Sorry for bringing her up."

Her face flashed across shut eyelids as he closed his eyes briefly. "It's fine. I have things to do. I'll talk to you later."

"Yes, sir."

Shepard walked past the CIC, pretending not to hear Kelly telling him about unread messages. He trudged up to the elevator, punching the button that would send him to his private quarters. As soon as the doors closed, he dropped the positive commander attitude and slumped against the wall of the elevator, running a hand through his stawberry blonde hair. He couldn't afford to get so worked up about Ash. It was the one thing that knocked him off balance, his weakness.

He chuckled to himself, shaking his head at the thought that he could charge head on into the most dangerous hordes known to the galaxy and yet be so weakened by a woman.

The doors slid open, and Shepard walked into his private quarters. He collapsed in the chair, glancing at the holo he'd set up next to his laptop. He saw his own smiling face, genuine joy in his dark blue eyes as he looked back at the woman who was hugging him from behind. Ashley Williams smiled back at the picture-Shepard, her usually tidy bun slightly unkempt, a few strands of dark hair attractively framing her face. Her hand cupped his jaw, lined with stubble, as he'd always kept it. Shepard felt himself subconsciously rubbing his chin as he looked at the photo, realizing that he needed to shave. He glanced up at the other holos he had hung on the wall, sighing as he remembered his time serving on the original Normandy.

There was one of Kaidan and Wrex, the look on the biotic's face uneasy, to say the least, as he was dwarfed by the massive krogan. There was another of Garrus and Tali sitting on the hood of the Mako. The turian was displaying one of his rare smiles, and Shepard liked to think that Tali was smiling under the helmet as well. It was good to have Garrus back, and Shepard had enjoyed seeing Tali on Freedom's Progress, if only for a short time. Another was of Shepard, Tali, and Liara. The three stood in front of the CIC, grinning just after the Citadel had been saved. Another was of Ashley helping Joker walk to Admiral Hackett to receive his medal.

And the rest were of commander and chief. Two unlikely lovers who'd bonded in the strangest of times.

Holding hands while looking at the view of the wards from the place dubbed "their spot." They'd had a professional photographer take it. The same photographer took one of Shepard picking her up and swinging her around, and another of the two holding each other close, foreheads touching. Joker had taken one of the couple dancing together at Flux during the crew's celebration afterparty once Sovereign had been defeated. Shepard glanced at another picture, a closeup of the two with their lips locked fiercely, taken by none other than Ashley herself. Her arm extended toward the camera she held, her free hand buried in his strawberry blonde hair.

And Shepard felt an emptiness inside, a void nobody could fill but Ashley Williams. He needed to feel her lips on his, her hand in his hair yet again. Nobody would ever make him feel the way she did. He turned toward his private computer, opening his messaging programs. He skipped over the various inbox messages, instead opting to write his own message once the program opened.

His fingers hovered over his keyboard as he mentally drafted the message, and then Shepard began to type.

Subject: Talk to me!

Ash-

This is my sixth attempt at contacting you. If you don't reply, either you don't care anymore or you're not getting my messages. And either way, I'm not giving up on you. You know me well enough to know I've given too much of myself to you to lose you. I need to see you. In person. There's a lot to explain and even though this is an Alliance network, and everything filters to you directly from Anderson, my mission is too important. And I want to see you again. These pictures aren't doing enough for me. I know it's been two years since we last talked, but I'm trying here. I love you, Ash.

-Skipper

Shepard glanced again at the snapshots of a happier time before pressing the send button, standing up, and returning his focus to the present.

After the Events on Horizon

Shist Shepard wasn't the crying type. Of all people, Ashley Williams knew that best. So seeing the tears in his eyes as she left him standing in the center of an abducted colony on Horizon was unexpected, to say the least. She'd completed her mission and discovered the true threat behind the abducted colonies. She should have been happy. But now the only thing she could think about was Shepard.

He was with Cerberus, but claimed not to be working for them. And although all the Cerberus experiments she'd seen while chasing Saren were horrifying, part of her believed him. She wasn't sure if it was just wishful thinking or not, however. She wanted to think he still cared about her, that everything he had told her back on Horizon was true, but she needed to be sure.

She pulled her airspeeder into a parking space just outside of the Citadel Presidium's embassies. Finally, she was going to get some answers.

"Why didn't you try to contact me?" Ashley asked accusingly, blinking back tears. "I thought you were dead for two years, Shist. Two. Years. The least you could have done is send a message. 'Hey, Ash! By the way, I'M ALIVE!"

"I was dead, Ash. Cerberus spent the last two years rebuilding me. And I've sent you a dozen of messages since I've been able to contact you! I went to Anderson, asked him about you. All he said was that everything concerning you was classified. You're the one who hasn't been contacting me!"

"I never got any messages. I'm sorry, Shist. I want to believe you, but all the evidence says not to. You say you've sent me 'dozens' of messages. My inbox is empty. You say you've talked with Anderson. Only days ago he told me I needed to let go of my love for a deadman. And now you're working with Cerberus! You and I saw what they did to Kahoku and his men! How could you trust an organization like that?"

"There must be a reason you haven't recieved my messages, and I have no idea why Anderson would lie to you like that. But I don't trust Cerberus. Believe me when I say that. Right now, they are a neccessary evil."

"You just think you owe them for putting you back together. I don't care, Shepard. I know where my loyalties lie. I'm Alliance. I'm a Williams! I can't let go of that. Not even for what we had."

"Ash, please-"

"I gotta go," she said brusquely. "Goodbye, Shist. And... Good luck." She turned away, but not before watching the tears well up in the emerald eyes she'd always been able to find comfort in and spill down his suntanned cheeks.

Ashley couldn't stop the doubt eating away at her. For the sake of what she and Shist had once shared, she had to take into possibility the fact that he could be telling the truth. And all the answers she sought lied with Anderson.

Her combat boots clicked loudly against the polished floors of the Presidium. She punched the button with more aggressiveness than she intended. If Shepard spoke the truth, then Anderson had wronged the both of them. And she had more reasons to trust her Commander than the captain-turned-politician. The doors slid open, and Ashley narrowed brown eyes at the back of the councilor's head.

"Chief Williams?" Anderson's eyebrows rose in mild surprise when he saw the frustrated soldier standing in his doorway. "I didn't expect-" He noticed her furious demeanor. "What's wrong?"

"What have you been hiding from me?" she growled.

"Excuse me?"

Ashley pronounced each word through gritted teeth. "What. Have. You. Been. Hiding?"

"I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific." His calm demeanor made Ashley want to shove him to the carefully polished steel floors.

"Last week, you told me Shepard was a dead man."

"And you saw him on Horizon."

"Yeah, and- How did you know that?"

"He came and told me such. He dropped by to ask about you while on business with Garrus."

"And you didn't call for me? Anderson, you know my feelings for him! How could you let him slip through my fingers like that?"

"I also know his feelings for you! It would be better for the both of you if you didn't reopen old wounds."

"How do you know how he feels about me? We never told anyone about it, and I didn't come clean until after he died."

"I have my ways, Williams," Anderson replied.

Ashley let that sink in, thinking back to Shepard's words on Horizon. "I've sent you a dozen of messages since I've been able to contact you! I went to Anderson, asked him about you. All he said was that everything concerning you was classified." All alliance messaging passed through Anderson and his staff for security reasons. Only he had the right to keep messages from her.

"You!" she exclaimed in furious realization, slamming her fist down on his desk. "You knew all along! He's been trying to contact me, and you prevented it. Worse, you've been reading my personal messages!"

"I had to be sure he hadn't made contact with you. The increasing urgency of each message told me he hadn't."

"Why did you have to be sure?" Ash nearly shouted. "You wanted to ensure my misery?"

"I couldn't distract either of you. His mission is too vital, and your work for the Alliance of great importance to me."

She nearly punched the councilor. "Do you even realize that for two years the only thing I could think about is him? I can't even focus on my missions sometimes, sir! And if he feels the same way, then this distraction could lead to one wrong step against the Collectors. I've seen them, sir, there is no mercy for mistakes."

"I... I'm sorry, Chief. I had no idea."

"You're going to make it right."

"Tell me what to do."

"You can start by letting me read those messages."

"Sarah Ann Williams, if you so much as get a drop near me..." Ashley trailed off, tucking her feet protectively underneath her body as she sat down on her bed in the Williams family's new home on the Citadel.

Sarah waved the bottle of nail polish in front of her older sister menacingly, a mischievous grin spreading across her face. "Just take the first swing. I don't think my Akido is rusty enough to let you land a punch on me."

Ashley's mind instantly flashed back to Mike. She sighed. "Why do you feel the need to paint my nails red? And why now? Why today?"

"Because red is sexy, and there doesn't need to be a specific occasion for a woman to feel sexy."

"I don't feel sexy when my nails are painted, I just feel like everyone is looking at my feet," Ashley deadpanned. "Besides, why would I need to be sexy anyways?"

"Aren't you going to meet up with that C-Sec guy on Friday? Seargent Carter?"

"Yeah...?" Ashley said slowly. "Alliance wanted his intel, I'm the errand girl. So what?"

Her younger sister shook her head incredulously. "Have you seen him on the local news vids? He is so cute."

"Sar, that would be unprofessional. And I'm going in uniform, he wouldn't be able to see my feet anyways. And, in case you've forgotten, I'm not looking for a relationship right now."

"Oh, right. You're still in love with him. The whole 'I can't be with you or talk to you but I loooooooveeee you' type of relationship."

Ashley glared at her. "You know I don't wanna talk about it."

Sarah gave her a devious smile. "Then give me your feet."

The soldier rolled her deep brown eyes with a sigh, pulling one tanned bare foot from its hiding place under a pillow. "Fine. Not worth arguing about." The youngest of the Williams girls squealed with delight as she unscrewed the bottle of nail polish.

At that moment, the alert tone of Ashley's personal terminal sounded. The soldier sighed quietly in relief at being saved by the bell, so to speak. She yanked her foot out of Sarah's petite hands and slid off the bed, sitting down at her desk.

"Your messages can wait," Sarah said, annoyed.

"This could be important."

"There are trillions of people in the galaxy. The chances of a message from Shepard is slim."

"I didn't say I was looking for a message from Skip-... Shepard," Ashley said, agony shooting through her heart as she thought of him. She didn't know which was worse: Thinking he was dead, or knowing he was alive and about to set out on a suicide mission where she couldn't go with him.

"But you were thinking of it. That's why you said it could be important."

"The Alliance is important."

"You weren't looking for the Alliance though. A hundred credits says it's not him."

Ashley rolled her eyes and scanned her inbox, her heart skipping a beat at the sender line of the first new message.

From: Lt. Com. Shist Russel Shepard shist..ops

To: Operations Chief Ashley Madeline Williams ashley..

Subject: re:RE: Hey there.

"Aww, he can't live without you?" Sarah cooed from behind her, reading over Ashley's shoulder.

The soldier instantly turned off the monitor. "Yeah, you owe me a hundred creds, now get out."

Sarah folded her arms. "But I'm your sister!"

"Exactly my point."

"You shouldn't hide stuff like this from me! Come on!"

Lynn poked her head through the doorway. "Sar, leave Ash and her love notes alone."

Sarah sighed in resignation. "Fine," she pouted, walking past Lynn and down the stairs.

Ashley mouthed a sincere thank you to her second youngest sister, who smiled in return. "Tell me if he says anything cute," Lynn added with a wink as she closed the door. Ash grinned and turned back toward the console, powering the monitor up again.

Ash-

First of all, I understand your anger at Anderson. And while what he did certainly was wrong, I agree, I think you should ease up on him. Remember that he thought his actions were helping us, and what he did was caused by good intentions.

Ashley smirked. He always had been able to find the good in others. Even in douches like Anderson.

Second, I should be the one apologizing for Horizon. I was so caught up in trying to prove my point that I refused to see it from your point of view. Most of what you have seen of Cerberus is from their blown-to-proportion galactic reputation and what they did to Kahoku during the mission against Saren. I should have explained. Those experiments were isolated cases that the Illusive Man had no idea of, and you're a famous figure in the galaxy, so you know how inaccurate reputations can be. Like when they said you were a member of the Terra Firma party? And don't even get me started on that Al-Jilani woman. Did I tell you that she tried to interview me again on my last visit to the Citadel? It was all I could do not to punch her. Anyways, I don't trust Cerberus, and the Illusive Man has done several things I don't agree with, but as for the people on my team, I trust the lot of them with my life, and they return the trust. But I understand why you don't trust them. You haven't met them, you don't know them, and I shouldn't have harped you about it.

That being said, I'm heading for the Omega 4 Relay, and while I'm confident that the entire team will survive, including myself, (you know me) there is still a chance that it will be a one way trip for me. I need to see you, Ash. The Normandy is docked at the Citadel, and will remain there until you show up. Meet me at the dock we used to use back when we were chasing Saren. The one you always used to say was 'very romantic.' Yes, I'm laughing as I write that.

I love you.

-Skipper

Ashley smiled, glancing at the holo of the two of them that hung on her wall. Grabbing her keys from her nightstand, she stood and nearly sprinted downstairs, heading for her air speeder. "Tell Mom and Abbey when they get home that I'll get back before dinner."

"Where are you going?" Sarah called from the living room.

"None of your business."

"It's got something to do with Shepard, doesn't it?" Lynn asked. Ashley could almost hear her eyes roll.

"None of your business," Ashley replied.

"That's a yes," Sarah said with a giggle.

"You're obsessed, sis," Lynn muttered.

"Fall in love, you'll understand," Ashley called as she slid into the front seat of her airspeeder. She started it up and in a few minutes she was traveling through the controlled traffic of the Citadel's space lanes. She didn't live far from the old dock, but the drive there was still agonizingly slow. Doubt and worry started to eat away at her as she drove. Would he be the same Shepard she'd fallen in love with? Or would his new life and ties with Cerberus change his personality? She hadn't really been able to read his personality back on Horizon; their time together was too tense, and much too short for her to judge his character. Ashley took a deep breath as she pulled up along the dockside, her knees feeling extremely unsupportive as she stepped out of the speeder.

And then all worry and doubt dissipated as she saw him, leaning against the Normandy's airlock. Strawberry blonde hair was characteristically messy, his bangs hanging over his forehead. Only he could make that seem attractive. His emerald eyes brightened visibly as soon as they made contact with her deep brown ones, the crooked smile that had never failed to send butterflies to her stomach spreading across his face.

She'd planned on being calm, cool, and collected, but that only lasted for a few slow steps before she was sprinting into his waiting arms. For a long while, they just held each other, her head finding its long lost place in the crook of his neck. She inhaled his scent, still the same as she'd remembered.

"I missed you, Ash," he said softly, breaking the silence. She pulled back, full lips forming a small smile.

"Back at you, Skipper."

"I... Ash, I'm sorry. About Horizon, I mean. I just... I was trying so hard to prove myself to you, to make you want to come with me. And I know you can't. But I needed to see you one last time... just in case. The Collectors abducted my entire crew aside from Joker. If my team and I hadn't been planetside at the time, I would have been taken with them. It just... it really put everything into perspective for me. If I don't come back..."

"Skipper, don't talk like that," Ashley whispered.

Again she saw tears in his pristine green eyes. Tears that made her feel like crying as well. "Just... let me finish. I need to tell you how much I love you... but I can't. I'm no more of a word person than you are. But you're the one with all the poetry memorized. You're just... Ash, you're amazing. The most amazing woman in this terror of a galaxy. You..." She watched as he struggled for words, blushing slightly at the thought that she, a common soldier, had the silver tongued savior of the galaxy speechless. "I don't think even Tennyson or Whitman could describe how much you mean to me, Ashley. I love you." He thought for some more, then rolled his eyes. "Ah, screw it. I'm an action man." Before she could comprehend those last words, he crushed his lips to hers.

Ashley felt all the passions in her heart that she'd experienced the night before Ilos revived as she kissed back, burying her hands in his strawberry-blonde hair. They pulled back, simply for the need to breathe, and she smiled, raising a hand to his cheek and wiping a stray tear away with a soft-skinned thumb. "I'm no word person either. But I wish I could say something more than 'ditto' to that, Skipper. I feel the same way. And I love you. Still. Not even death could make that go away."

He smiled that crooked smile, tenderly pressing his lips to hers again. "That means more than you could imagine, Ash."

They heard an uneasy cough from the airlock, and Ashley turned to see Joker leaning against the doorframe for support. "Hey, Ashley," he said with a smile, straighening his cap.

"Joker!" she exclaimed with genuine happiness. She rushed over to the pilot, embracing him. He cringed for a moment, uneasily hugging her back.

"Careful!" he winced. She pulled back abruptly.

"Right, sorry."

He smiled. "Ah, it's okay. It's been two years, I missed you too much to let a little pain stop me."

She smiled. "I've missed you, too." She frowned, noticing his uniform. "So you're working for Cerberus now?"

"No, I'm working for Shepard." He smiled. "Anyways, it was great to see you, Ash, but we have to go. Shep, wrap it up out here."

"Got it," Shepard said, disappointment surfacing in his tone.

Joker turned toward the airlock, then glanced back at Ashley. "By the way, he's sort of turned into a creeper. You pretty much decorate his cabin." The pilot was gone after that, leaving the soldier puzzled.

"What was he talking about?" Ashley asked as Shepard walked over to her, placing his hands on her waist and pulling her close. She didn't object, pressing her cheek to his chest.

"I just have a lot of pictures of us hanging up on the wall in my cabin," he admitted. He kissed the top of her head. "But they don't do much justice to the real deal."

She smiled, closing her eyes and listening to his heart beat, just as she had two years before on the eve of their journey to Ilos. "Come back, Shist," she said quietly.

"Huh?" he asked, confused.

"Come back through that relay. Don't make it a one way trip, Skipper. I don't want to lose you again."

"Only if you promise me one thing."

"What?"

"You'll join me after."

"I can't leave the Alliance, Shist. I'm a Williams."

"You don't have to. Just get leave to serve on the Normandy. I'll cut ties with Cerberus, if you'll stay with me."

"Promise you'll come back?" Ashley asked.

"I promise," he whispered. He touched her chin, raising her head so he could lock lips with her again. "Now what about you?"

She sighed. "The crazy things you'll do for love..." Ash muttered. "Yeah, okay."

He breathed a sigh of relief. "I'm coming back, Ashley." He kissed her again, pressing his hand against the small of her back, pulling her closer. She wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to make the best of this final moment of passion. Then, he was gone, standing just outside the airlock, making meaningful eye contact with the woman he loved.

"You'd better," she said "Because pictures don't do you much justice either."

A/N: This sets the basis for the rest of my Shepley one shots. I will post them in chronological order, so this is the first, and only one that will take place during ME2. The rest will be post-ME2 (unless it's a flashback), and will most likely be AU when ME3 comes out. Who cares? :) The rest of my Shepley one shots will also occur after Ashley joins the crew of the Normandy, as ordered by the Council because she has experience against the Reapers. Shepard will have cut ties with Cerberus, and is now working for the Council again, along with the rest of his ex-Cerberus crew. mmkay, just so you know if you read another one shot of mine.