A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRRTTTHDAAAAY TO BOOKWORM!!!! HAAAPPPY BIRRRTHDAY TO YOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!
I wish you a wonderful birthday, that you may surround yourself in SA goodness for all your years to come!! Enjoy, because this is just for you!
(this story will have two chapters)
Something Beautiful
Chapter 1
Loneliness was a feeling he had become accustomed to over the course of his life. Loneliness and perpetual disappointment. It was growing up in the trailer park that did it, he figured; that and knowing the bitter pain of a runaway mother and a father who never cared enough to stay. Up until college, he had faced the fact that perhaps he was just one of those the gods fated to be unfortunate in life, no matter how hard he tugged and pulled the other way. He'd accepted that, embraced it almost, figured that life was what it was and that pain was a necessary accessory to living, even if it came every day in the form of people he could have - would have - loved, disappearing like raw smoke between outstretched fingers. But life was funny like that, because the gods always seemed to see it fit to throw him curves, just to keep him on his toes. He spent his whole life wrestling with the bizarre twists in his life, dodging them, finding ways to cheat the system. He almost realized too late that she was the best thing that would ever happen to him, and that was the biggest curve of all.
In a life full of disappointments, he had never disappointed her. Not once. He had caused her pain, broken her heart, been the source of her tears, but he had never, never - and this she swore - been a disappointment. In the hardest of times, she had been the one to pull him back from the abyss, to be the one lifeline that would never break, and to hold him when the world was too much and he was too little. She had accepted him and loved him, even when it hurt, and he alone was enough for her. He knew now that in her eyes, his shady past and generally uncertain future could never overshadow him, and that he - Shawn Patrick Hunter - was the only thing she wanted.
Taking a deep breath, Shawn smoothed back his hair and tried to ease some of the tension in his shoulders. He was standing in front of the full-length mirror, which was a needed but rather edgy break from pacing. He straightened his tie for the fortieth time and tried not to pass out. He wasn't nervous. Hunters were never nervous. To the outsider, Shawn had the casual grace and the cool of a cat, lounging easily, despite the most nerve-wracking of circumstances. Oh hell, who am I kidding? Shawn thought. I'm terrified.
The day he dropped to one knee and proposed to Angela felt like only a day ago, but now here he was, in the resort, on his wedding day. My wedding day. Oh, God. He had only just managed to get his best friend out of the room. The rambling mess that was Cory Matthews was even more nervous than Shawn was, and his hyperactive anxiety issues weren't helping Shawn's nerves in the least. Thankfully, he had managed to convince Cory that the place he was really needed was the catering room. That had been forty-five minutes ago, and he was now forty-five minutes closer to being married. To Angela. The only woman he would ever love in this lifetime or any other. Suddenly, passing out seemed like a lovely option.
Before he got the chance to further stir himself into more of a panicked wreck than he already was, a strong knock sounded at the door.
"It's open," called Shawn as he tried to hide the shaking in his voice.
The door opened to reveal a tall man, a mountain compared to Shawn, with dark skin and dark eyes that were smiling in his direction. Sergeant Moore was an intimidating man, no doubt about that, but there was a smile he reserved only for his daughter and the man who had claimed her heart. It was present now.
"Holding up okay, Shawn?" asked Sergeant Moore, his eyes twinkling.
A huge sigh escaped Shawn's lips, like he was releasing a week's worth of air. "I'm fine. Doing good."
"Really?"
Shawn winced. "Alright, I'm terrified. I've been pacing so much, I'm surprised there isn't a hole in the floor."
Chuckling, Sergeant Moore strolled over and thumped Shawn on the back encouragingly. "What? Does marrying my little girl scare you?"
"Your little girl is the root of three months worth of anxiety attacks," mumbled Shawn, but the panic in his eyes subsided just a little. "I love her, but I think I'm going insane from nerves."
"Well then, Shawn, you're going to hate me for this."
"For what?"
"It's time to get married."
Shawn's head snapped up to look into the grinning face of his soon-to-be father-in-law. He was suddenly very dizzy.
"Now!?" Oh, God, I'm going to die. Angela's going to walk down that isle, and I am just going to die right in front of her.
"Yes, now, and you'd better hurry. You don't want to keep Angela waiting, do you?"
Gathering a few hasty breaths and all the calm he could muster, Shawn shook his head. "No... no, I don't want to keep her waiting."
Just then, the door burst open to admit a very excitable Cory, who had by now managed to loosen his tie, pull his shirt out of his trousers, and spill something resembling punch on his shoes.
"SHAWNIE! It's time buddy! You ready!?"
Sergeant Moore gave Shawn one last wink and nudged him gently before leaving, nodding at Cory on his way out. Cory practically skipped over to his best friend and lay a hand on his shoulder. Shawn could see the joy in his eyes, and he knew it was for him. Cory had been one of the few stable things in his life - before Angela - and was closer to him than a brother. It was fitting that they would share this last moment before Shawn became a married man together.
Surprisingly, Cory didn't say much else, and Shawn found himself following suit. There was too much going on right now for them to be cluttering this day with words when there really was no need for them. The two friends simply stood in silence for a few moments, but Shawn heard the million things Cory had to say to him and offered a million replies in return.
They never did have to speak much to communicate what they wanted to each other. After only a minute, Cory made his way around Shawn and placed his hands on Shawn's shoulders and started guiding him towards the door. Shawn held his breath as his eyes met golden sunlight and open azure sky. He was only vaguely aware of Cory's presence behind him as he took in everything, from the sand at his feet to the waves lapping gently at the shore to the small group of friends and family gathered only a hundred paces from him. It had been Angela's idea to get married on the beach, and Shawn could think of no better place in the entire world.
Before he knew how he had gotten there, Shawn found himself standing at the altar, which was really just an arch of interwoven lilies and vines, blooming more extravagantly than he could ever have imagined. And there - there was the small crowd of loved ones, seated in simple white folding chairs on the hot sand, smiling at him. There was Rachel, already in tears, and Eric with his arm around his former roommate. I bet he's just doing that to make Jack mad, thought Shawn crazily. There were the Matthews, all in a row, all beaming at him as if they knew all along that this kind of fortune would find Shawn eventually. And there was Topanga in a pretty blue dress as the Maid of Honor, busy wiping away the tears she had been planning to save for later. There was Cory, and there was Jack, both standing by his side, just like they always had.
Shawn wasn't really sure when the music started playing or when the flower girl and ring bearer completed their walk. The only thing he knew at this point was that he was in a state of utter displacement as the doors to that beautiful resort opened, and that's when he stopped breathing.
And she was there. Suddenly, all of the nervousness, all of the fear drained away, leaving only air and the image of her. She was dressed all in white and her hair hung in waves to her shoulders, and she held her father's arm with all the elegance and poise of a queen. All fear was gone, all expectation was gone, all thinking was gone. There was only her as their eyes connected, and something in the back of his mind wondered if she also felt like she was flying.
The world shifted, and Shawn couldn't have broken eye contact with her if he had been tackled. It was like everything and everyone else was moving in super slow motion, and Angela was the only one existing in real time. He felt his heart beating wildly as he watched how the morning sun made her skin glimmer and her dark eyes shine. She was a beacon, and he knew she was shining for him. Shawn's heart jumped again. He never knew he could love someone so much that it hurt.
Angela glided towards him and after an eternity, it seemed, stopped and stood still just across from him. She was so close, he could just… reach up a gentle hand and touch her… Angela smiled as she closed her fingers around his. Shawn almost jumped when he realized that he had in fact reached up to press the back of his fingers against her cheek like a breeze stroking silk.
Feeling the warmth of her hand as she touched him sent a shiver all the way down to his toes. The soft drafts of ocean air curled around them in sheer tendrils, and the white-crested waves tossed up and down in the background; those gathered on the beach shifted, straining to get a better view of the whole picture; bursts of white and gray seagulls passed through the air above their heads and everywhere there was motion – except for the space enclosing Shawn and Angela.
Shawn felt… strange. Like there was a bubble surrounding him and the woman he loved that no one else could penetrate. Judging from the look in her eyes, she felt the same. It was a good strange… a foreign feeling that was wholly perfect and completely beautiful. Like her.
And the world stood still.
Shawn was only slightly broken out of his reverie when the minister cleared his throat and began speaking.
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…"
Shawn watched Angela's face. She bit her lip – he knew it was to keep from crying – and tightened her hold on his hands, which were now suspended between them. He loved the way her hands fit in his, the way she smiled, and the way she tilted her head to look up at him through long eyelashes.
The time came for them to speak their vows. Shawn felt his breath quicken as the minister nodded to Angela, indicating that she should begin. She had been so insistent on the two of them writing their own vows – they both had been – and no matter how much he pressed over the past half year, she would never reveal to him a word of what she planned to say. Now that the time had come for her to say to him what she wanted, he felt like he had never listened harder to anything in his life. Probably never would again. When she started speaking, Shawn figured this was what angels sounded like. Angela's eyes were misty, but her voice was clear and carried across the beach and the waves, reaching every ear without strain.
"Shawn."
He took a breath and let himself fall into her eyes.
"When I started writing this, I didn't know what to say. I didn't how to begin or how to end or how to tell you how I feel about you. There was so much – so much I wanted to say, but it was all jumbled around in my head because…" Angela paused, took a breath, and went on.
"…because you do something to me. When I think of you, suddenly it's like nothing else in the world matters but you and me…and this." Holding his hand, she took it and placed in on her heart and held it there. "In my darkest moments, in the times when I'm the most vicious, the most cruel, the most bitter, you love me completely and deeply, and I know that it will always be that way. I never understood the meaning of 'beloved' because I thought it was too heavy of a word, too meaningful, to ever be used in the real world. But I get it now. It's for you, for us… because I know that no matter what life brings, whatever happens, I can say that I will always stand by you."
Shawn was feeling heady again, but not because of nerves. It was her voice, and what she was saying, and the subtle strength behind her words. He could feel the steady beat of her heart and was amazed that it wasn't erratic, like his own; but the light in her eyes showed him more than anything else that she was doing emotional back flips to put his to shame.
"I was cold on the inside, before I knew you. You have created light where I have cultivated stones, and you show me what it means to hope. From the very first day we met, you saved me, and you continue to save me everyday. You give me faith to move mountains, and you are enough – more than enough – to satisfy every part of me. I love you, Shawn, and I always will."
By now, tears were running silently down Angela's face, and he wanted nothing more than to reach up and wipe them away. So he did. He kept his hand cupping her cheek as he gathered the strength to speak his own vows. His throat tightened against his will, but when he opened his mouth, his voice came. His words came.
"Angela, you found me in a dark place – a place where I thought I would never escape; but you took my hand and you never let go. Not when I pushed you away, not when I convinced myself I didn't need you, and not when I had already given up hope for us. But you…you never gave up hope for us."
Shawn found that emotion was practically bursting out of his chest, and he almost stopped talking. But he went on.
"You were always the one, even when I hadn't known it yet. It was always about you – everything I did, and still do, everything I say, every breath I take is because of and for you. I don't have much to give you, and you know that. I don't have a lot of money or a guaranteed successful future… but I have love. And it's endless. I want to say I love you, but it's hard because 'love' is a human word. It can be defined, described, bound in a box. But what I feel for you is limitless and will go on and on until time itself is over, and then some. But because there is no other way to tell you how I feel… I love you."
He stroked her face and wiped away the tears that fell.
"I love you, Angela, more than anything, and I will be here by your side always."
Always. It echoed in Shawn's head and resonated throughout his entire body like a bell. When Angela took his hand and kissed the top of his fingers, he smiled through tears he hadn't realized were there. Always. And it was true. They would be together forever, and he would never leave her side, not if God himself struck the earth and tore it apart.
He was dimly aware of the minister talking, saying… something or other. But all he saw was her and the image of her standing before him would be enough to last him a hundred lifetimes. When the time came to exchange rings, Shawn was surprised to find that his voice was as clear as ever. The minister prompted him.
"I, Shawn Patrick Hunter, take thee, Angela Moore, to be my lawfully wedded wife…"
It was raining. The sky was brutally angry, but an angel pulled him into the downpour. "Shawn!" giggled Angela, as she tugged at his hand, dragging him into the blooming gardens. Shawn watched her spin in the rain and forgot that he had ever lived a life without her.
"And I, Angela Moore, take thee, Shawn Patrick Hunter, to be my lawfully wedded husband…"
Christmas. Angela sat on his lap as she opened her present tied with gold ribbon. Topanga had wrapped it because he had been afraid that he would butcher the thing. He watched as her eyes lit up and glowed from the reflection of the necklace within. He had saved up for five months to buy that necklace, because upon seeing it, he knew he couldn't stop until it was dangling at her neck. Angela kissed him. She tasted like sunshine.
"…in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad…"
"Damnit, Shawn!" Angela fumed, pushing him away as he tried to grab her wrist. "Don't touch me! I cannot believe you would do that, say that to me after everything we've been through!" Shawn found himself shouting right back at her. "Because it's always about you right?? Maybe for once damn second, you can stop being such a princess and start living in reality! You're at fault just as much as I am, so quit acting so damn innocent!" Another argument, another day apart. He couldn't stop himself from slamming his fist against the wall as the door banged shut behind her. He wouldn't know it yet, of course, but it would be a whole two weeks before they made up. And it would be well worth it.
"… in joy and in sorrow, I promise to love you, to honor you and respect you…"
Shawn took her hand and led her out onto the driveway. Surrounded by bricks, brooms and his brother's '98 Honda, they danced beneath the stars to music only they heard. "What do you think we're dancing to?" asked Shawn. Angela looked thoughtful before she replied, "Cannon D." He spun her. "Funny," said Shawn. "I was hearing Vivaldi's Spring." They looked at each and laughed before he dipped her back and kissed her.
"… all the days of my life."
Shawn slid the simple gold band onto Angela's finger and watching the sun glint of its surface like a sunset. He watched her face as she did the same to him and somehow couldn't tear his eyes away from her. She was so beautiful, even in her tears.
Shawn had never been patient growing up. He was impulsive, spontaneous, and ever reckless, because he never wanted to slow down lest life was throwing him something good somewhere down the road. But now, as he held Angela's hand in his and stared into her dark eyes, he knew that he would wait forever for even a moment of this – of her. This was it. They were married. He was hers and she was his, forever and without question. She smiled at him and he knew above everything that this – whatever it was – was right.
He didn't wait for the minister to announce their kiss before he stepped forward, swept her up into his arms and pressed his lips to hers. He thought he heard the small crowd applaud and cheer, but all he could hear was the sound of his heart matching the beat of hers.
