Body
What's in a name?
By The Last Little Kidamas
It was your average morning at Cloud's Villa. Well, actually it wasn't, because everyone was sitting around the breakfast table, actually eating their breakfast. Not a weapon in sight No one was stealing other's muffins, insulting their family members, insulting their beverage preferences, Yuffie had even left her twin Viper in her room. It was calm, silent. Blissful, thought Cloud. He decided it was now the best time to tell them the news. He stood up.
"Ahem." No response.
"AHEM!!" Everyone looked up.
"What is it Cloud?" Asked Tifa, looking up from her porridge (ewww! Porridge!).
"I have an announcement to make."
"Are we moving?"
"Are you gonna cut your hair?"
"You aren't gonna take away my Twin Viper, are you?"
"Are you gonna wash my underwear?"
"NO!!"
"Well, we don't really care then." They all continued to eat, munching and crunching the motley assortment of fruit, cereal, uhhh... Cracker Jacks, and pretty much whatever else was left in the house, including bellybutton lint.
"But it's important!!" Whined Cloud. Yuffie sighed and replied:
"Fine, what is it?"
"I'm gonna change my name."
"Why?'" Asked Vincent, slightly perplexed.
"I dunno, Cloud is just so...."
"Feminine?"
"Queer?"
"Asexual?"
"Fluffy?"
"Yeah... Fluffy?"
Everybody looked at Barret oddly.
"What!? Clouds are fluffy!"
"Well, I like yer name!" Said Cid.
"You would." Someone muttered.
"Hey!! Who said that?"
No one answered of course, but instead looked down, hiding smiles while Cod started to freak out.
"Who said it!! Who said It!! Gooloobalabalooba!"
Cloud sighed and finished up his Captain Crunch's. He headed out the door, to change his name. Now, name-changing really wasn't as hard as it normally is, because the in the laid back town of Costa del Sol, they didn't want to be bothered with courts and all that legal mumbo-jumbo, plus the people who resided there liked to change their names at the drop of the hat, so all you had to do was go to the bar, write your new name on a sheet of paper, and post it on the 'I changed my name!" Board and then it was done. So that's what he did. It took ten minutes. Cloud then walked back to his villa and his friends.
"Hey Cloud!! Come watch Passions with us!!"
"Who's Cloud?"
"What!? You changed your name already?"
"Yes."
"But you were only gone for like, ten minutes!"
"Yeah."
"OK... So, what do we call you now?"
"Dick Trickle."
Everyone in the living room, which consisted of well, everyone, started to laugh their asses off.
"What!? What is it!?"
"D-Dick T-T-Trickle!!" They gasped.
Deeply offended, Cloud decided to go tell Johnny, even though he was a shunner and didn't deserve it, but he was pretty much the only other person Cloud- er, Dick knew and he sure wasn't gonna talk to Mukki, not after that Young Bubby Club incident.
"Hey Cloud!" Said Johnny cheerfully, quite surprised that Cloud had stopped by.
"My name isn't Cloud."
"Yes it is, I've known ya forever man! You're Cloud! Hey, Sephiroth isn't messin with ya again is he?"
"NO!! How did you know about that anyway?"
" I AM friends with Tifa you know."
"Right. Anywhoo, I changed it."
"Oh yeah, thoughta doin that myself a few times, but ya know."
"No I don't..."
"Yeah well, what do I call ya now?"
"Dick Trickle."
"Dick Trickle? Ah HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! Woo, that's the funniest thing in the world!"
"No it's not, stop laughing at me!!"
Cloud ran out the door, Johnny's laughter still echoing in his head. The people outside looked at him, and then they started to point and laugh.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! STOP LAUGHING AT ME!! STOP IT!!" He screamed, but then he noticed that it was starting to fade. He sat bolt upright in bed, sweating. Whew, It was just a bad dream.
And that folks, is why you don't do drugs. Oh yes, and if you ever consider changing your name, please put some thought into it.
THE END
Authors Note: Dick Trickle, so funny. I got that from That 70's Show and it's hilarious. Yeah well, please review I got nothing else to say, you've made it this far, so review!!!
-The Last Little Kidamas
