"Jules, I need you to come to Tikihama now," Shawn said through the phone. "It's an emergency."
"Okay, you need to back up a little," Juliet said calmly. "What's Tikihama? Are you okay?"
"I'll explain when you get here," he replied, before hanging up the phone. She rolls her eyes in frustration, but her mind automatically assumes the worst. He didn't say if he was fine- is he being held hostage? Is he hurt? Is he stranded on the highway in the middle of nowhere with a dead phone battery? What is Tikihama?
Her phone buzzes, indicating a text from "her secret admirer". She knew she'd eventually deal with the consequences of letting him borrow her phone.
"Oh also, I'm okay :)," said the text. Another text quickly followed, "for now."
She quickly explained the situation to Lassiter, who was sitting at his desk chipping away at some overdue paperwork.
"He's probably just faking some situation to get you to go play hide the zucchini," Lassiter pointed out. She shot him a look. "But if you think it's that important, go ahead. We'll be fine without you, since Spencer isn't here to slow us down."
She quickly googled Tikihama, and found the address for some sketchy, run down summer camp just outside the city. She had no idea what Shawn was doing there, but he had gotten himself into weirder situations.
"Hello?" she called, searching a cabin with her gun drawn. This place was giving her seriously negative vibes. She'd seen enough of Scooby-Doo to know that whatever had Shawn so spooked was probably just some old rich guy in a mask, but she had also seen enough scary movies to know that she shouldn't be alone. "Shawn?"
Suddenly, the shutters on the door of the closet snapped shut, and she startled so much that she was actually hoping that it wasn't him.
"Jules!" says Shawn's voice from behind the door. He sounded almost surprised to hear her voice. "Wow. You made really good time."
"Shawn, are you hiding in that closet?" she asked, lowering her gun.
"No. No I'm not. That is a negative," he replied, and she was glad that he was just as jumpy as she was. "How've you been?"
"Okay, this is weird!" she said, opening the closet door.
"Here's the thing Jules: sometimes the psychic headlights can get a little bright and I have to balance that effervescence with dark space! Closets are great. And coffins," he explained. She laughed a little.
"Shawn, you sounded really spooked on the phone, what's going on?" she asked, taking his hands in hers.
"Yeah, that's a really solid question, and I'm going to bring you up to speed in just a second, but first, let's make out in the closet like they do in the movies," he suggested, tugging on her hands a little.
"Shawn," she said sternly, though it was tempting to give in.
"Okay, okay," he relented. "Basically, this is the summer camp that Gus and I would go to as kids up until Jason ruined everything, and now Jason owns this place and he invited us here, and now there's a killer on the loose and some girl named Annie got kidnapped and Jason is all messed up and carries this freaky doll around and there was blood in the laundry and Gus ran off with some girl and you're my girl and-"
"Okay, calm down," she said, squeezing his hands. "Let's go round up the others and we'll see what we can do."
They walk out and find everyone gathered close to the cabin that she found Shawn in.
"Gus! There you are! Look who I found," Shawn said, gesturing to Juliet.
"Hi I'm Clive, I'm hilarious and I have no girlfriend," greeted the red-haired man with a beard. She doesn't even have to look at Shawn to know that reasonable, level headed Shawn is long gone, replaced with the irrational, extremist Jealous-Shawn.
"Hi, I'm Juliet, I'm a cop and I have a boyfriend," she said before Jealous-Shawn did anything crazy. She sounded a bit more hostile than she had intended, but she didn't mind. Anything to keep Jealous-Shawn at bay, although she did find it sweet when he got all protective of her.
"Nice rejection, very clean," commented Clive, and even though she thought he was a bit obnoxious, she did find the line at least a little funny.
"Have you seen Billy?" asked the girl beside Gus, who Juliet could only guess was the one that Shawn was telling her about earlier. She immediately understood Shawn's distress. He'd been Jealous-Shawn all along, except instead of being jealous because of her, he was jealous because of Gus. And it didn't take her long to figure out that it was the reason why he disliked Jason too.
"He said to meet here at six sharp," said Gus, looking at his watch. "And not a minute late."
"And then he said let's twist this," Clive reminded him, earning him a glare from Gus.
"It's ten past," Gus said, ignoring Clive.
"Listen, if half of what Shawn has told me is true, then none of you are being very smart," Juliet said, interjecting. "Everyone needs to get inside, together, now. Let's go."
"So none of you really know Jason?" Juliet asked suspiciously. She tried to put herself in their shoes- would she really leave her home to live and work at a summer camp for a guy she didn't know? The whole idea of it seemed sketchy, especially with a killer on the loose.
"I don't think I should be telling you this but-"
"I can't imagine what you were going to say, Sissy," said an ominous voice from behind the couch. It was Jason. Shawn jumped out of his spot and flung himself in front of Juliet- she couldn't really figure out what his plan was, human shield perhaps? Even if it was a bad idea, she appreciated the gesture anyways. She touched his back between his shoulder blades, a small gesture to let him know that they were okay. "Who's she?"
"Detective Juliet O'Hara," she said confidently, trying to block out everything that Shawn had said about this guy so that she could get a valid perspective of this guy, unclouded by Shawn's unresolved jealousy.
"One of Santa Barbara's finest," Shawn added proudly. "Both literally and figuratively."
"Thank you," Juliet replied fondly.
"Judas," Jason hissed through his teeth. Juliet glanced at Shawn, only to find that he was just as confused as she was. "No cops! You gave me your word, Spencer. You ruined everything."
"Um, listen, we have blood-soaked pajamas, and now Billy's missing too- I think it's safe to say that there is a clear and present danger here," Shawn pointed out, and Juliet had to agree with him.
"I can't open the camp now!" Jason shouted. "Not now!"
"Listen, Jason, I am not the enemy here!" she defended, and she could feel Shawn pressing up beside her. "I think we all just need to stick together-"
"Nobody had to know! I could've fixed this, Iago!" Jason growled before exiting the room.
"I'm confused, what does the parrot from Aladdin have to do with anything?" Shawn said, and she's glad, because she didn't even understand the reference.
"Someone should go after him," said Sissy. Juliet wondered if she was serious, because based on what she had just seen- this guy was so crazy that she would've thought that he was the killer.
"Okay, I'll go," Juliet offered, since no one else would. If anything, it would give her a chance to get him alone so that she could try and get some answers out of him.
"No, you should stay here with us," Sissy said.
"She's right," agreed Shawn. "You shouldn't go out there alone. Gus and I will do it-"
"You must be out of your mind if you think I'm going out there with a killer on the loose," Gus protested.
"Fine, then I'll go alone," Shawn said stubbornly, backing towards the door that Jason had just stormed out of.
"I don't like this Shawn," said Juliet.
"Your hands are tied, babe," he said with an edge of frustration in his voice. He walked back towards her and kissed her on the cheek. "Plus when you got here, I was hiding in a closet, so I figure I have to redeem myself. If I'm not back in exactly four minutes, please come looking for me."
"Okay," she said, nodding.
"But really start giving it some thought after two," Shawn added. "And if you think there's anything even slightly amiss after forty-five seconds, you're the leader here."
Of course, immediately after he leaves, Juliet felt like something was amiss, but it was more like concern for her boyfriend than anything reasonable to act upon. She could clearly hear him bellowing outside in the woods, and his voice carried with the wind, so she'd know instantly if anything was wrong. The shouting got softer and softer as he went farther into the woods until eventually, she couldn't hear anything at all. The dread started tearing a hole in her stomach until finally, she decided it was time to go after him.
She found him laying on the ground with some masked figure standing over him with a machete.
"SBPD, drop your weapon!" she shouted over the wind. Even after the three years that she had known him, she was still astonished by how easy it was for him to get into trouble.
"Don't shoot!" yelled Shawn. She was confused- did he not realize that this guy was literally about to stab him? Was this Shawn's way of trying to redeem himself?
"I have the shot!" she yelled back.
"Don't shoot!" Shawn repeated, even as the figure pulled him into a choke hold with the machete pressed against his throat.
"Shawn, what are you doing!?"
"This isn't Friday the Thirteenth! It's April Fools Day!" he yelled, leaving her even more confused. She refused to lower her weapon. "Same formula! But with a killer twist ending!"
He pressed down the tip of the machete, at which point she realized it wasn't real. The figure released his hold on Shawn, and pulled off the mask.
"You almost had me!" Shawn admitted to Jason.
"Your humble servant, my lord," said Jason, bowing to Shawn. Just because the whole killer thing was fake, didn't necessarily mean that Jason's insanity wasn't, and Juliet still wasn't convinced. She walked briskly to where Shawn and Jason were standing. Annie and Billy emerged from the woods while Shawn applauded Jason.
"Detective, please forgive me," said Jason, daring to laugh a little. It took everything she had to stay patient with him. "You were not supposed to be here."
"Someone tell me what's going on, right now," she said angrily.
"Basically, Jason's reopening Camp Tikihama, but it's a murder mystery camp," Shawn explained quickly, knowing all too well the consequences of her wrath.
"And you guys were all in on this?" she asked, looking around at the staff, who were all laughing and clutching at their sides.
"We knew bits and pieces, but not everything of course," Billy explained. "We had to keep it genuine, you know?"
Shawn launches into his explanation about how he came to figure out that the whole situation was a fake, and Juliet was just trying to get her head around the fact that she actually left work to come investigate a fake crime.
"Well, let me kick off the apology train with some champagne and strawberries inside!" Jason offered, and even though Juliet just wanted to go home, she obliged since Shawn was going.
She watched in utter disbelief while everyone clinked their champagne glasses together and took pictures, even Shawn, who she had previously thought was on her side. Clearly, she was wrong, judging by the way he was grinning and laughing with these maniacs.
"Come on sweetheart, try and have some fun," he said after noticing her sitting off by herself. "We're not being chased by an axe-wielding maniac anymore!"
"It's kind of a sick charade, and it's been a colossal waste of my time," she pointed out. Shawn grabbed her hand. "But, it's not a crime to be distasteful, so maybe I should just stay here until the storm blows over."
"Come on, we could get some quality snuggle time up in one of those freaky cabins in the woods," he suggested.
"Shawn, you get scared when you see a spider in your bathroom," she pointed out. "Snuggling with you in a freaky dark cabin during a storm wouldn't be relaxing for either of us."
"Okay, point taken," he acknowledged. "We could sneak into the kitchen and get the smoochies going?"
"Tempting!" Juliet agreed. She let him take her hand and lead her away from the group, surprisingly unnoticed, even by Gus. Suddenly, Shawn freezes, just as they enter the kitchen. "Shawn, are you okay?"
"I'm pretty sure there's a body in the lake," he said. "Either that or Jason's creepy doll."
"Let me see," she said, brushing past him to look out the window. Sure enough, there was definitely something floating in the lake. "Well that's a buzzkill."
They go outside and the guys drag the body out of the lake. It was hard to tell what had happened to the old guy, but if she had to guess, it was probably no accident.
"Great, there's no signal," Juliet announced after trying to call Lassiter to explain the situation. "I'll radio for an ambulance."
"Don't bother," Clive said. "They won't be coming, and we won't be going. Highway seventeen is closed."
"Of course it is," Shawn grumbled.
"Nobody touch that body," she ordered once she got everyone into the house. "I can justify moving it because of the storm, but until further notice, that porch is off limits. And I want to know the second anyone can use their phone."
Suddenly, Billy starts a game of strip-cribbage, and she isn't sure why everyone is so willing to play along, but she know she won't, and if Shawn knows what's good for him, he won't either. Annie leaves, and it's clear that she'd leave no matter what Juliet said to her.
"Jules, may I have a word please," Shawn mumbles into her ear, pressing a hand to the small of her back. If there wasn't a dead body right outside the door, she'd find the gesture incredibly hot, but she knows that this is a Serious-Shawn moment. "Something still doesn't feel right. How about you let me get an honest look at that body?"
"Are you talking about me or the dead guy?" she asked, and even Shawn grins a little. "Alright, let's go."
"He's a little nicked up, but the current carried him pretty far so it could've been anything," Juliet explained, crouching beside Shawn while they examined the body. This was why she loved being with Shawn- he was never deterred by the details of her work life, and, she could actually share the details of her work life without having to worry about breaking any rules. "Are you getting anything?"
"It's not clear, not yet," Shawn said cryptically.
When they go back inside, Billy is completely naked except for his shoes and socks.
"Oh my god," she said, turning away.
"Billy, I will give you everything in Gus' wallet if you put your pants back on," Shawn said, and honestly, she's surprised that he isn't covering her eyes for her. Suddenly, the power goes out, so he doesn't really need to cover her eyes anyways.
"Probably just the breaker," Billy said, tugging his pants back on. Still standing in the doorway, Juliet leans her head on Shawn's shoulder and wondered how this night could possibly get any worse. "Back in a flash."
"I hope you guys aren't scared of the dark," Jason says, lighting a candle and placing it in the middle of the table where the rest of the group was playing strip cribbage.
"Power-outs are romantic, right?" Shawn asked Juliet, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
"If we were at our house, then yes," she agreed, wrapping her arms around him and just wishing she could go home and change into her pajamas. She felt so overdressed in her pant suit. "Not some creepy cabin with a dead guy outside."
"Our house?" Shawn asked, grinning a little.
"Shawn, you've been staying at my house consecutively for the past month, and before that you were spending every weekend there anyways. You have a section in my closet and a drawer, you frequently contribute to the grocery list, and I'm pretty sure your lease ended last week," she reminded him, leaning away a little so that she could look at his face. "It's our house now."
"Aw, Jules," he said fondly, kissing her forehead. The power comes back on, and suddenly, Shawn pulls out of their embrace and makes that face he makes, right before the psychic vision always comes. He's on the verge of a breakthrough.
"Shawn, what's going on?" she asked, growing defensive suddenly.
"Clive," he called out, ignoring her.
"Shawn?" she repeated, her heart rate rising. Even Gus knew that something was about to happen.
"I think we have a very serious problem," Shawn explained vaguely, before rushing off to another room in the house. He goes to the computer desk, where they find Jason's doll where they had assumed that Clive had been all along. Her stomach drops.
"Clive killed Irwin," Shawn accused. "I don't know why, but he did it. And now he's out there, and so are Billy and Annie."
"Listen to me very carefully," she said, drawing her gun and heading for the door. "I want you all to stay together in the living room, don't open the door for anyone but me."
"I'm coming too!" Shawn declared, meeting her at the door.
"No-" she protested. she opened her mouth to say more, but he cut her off.
"We can cover more ground this way. We're not discussing this, there's no time!" Shawn insisted. He's out the door before she can say anything else, so she just goes with it.
She runs to Annie's cabin- maybe she would still be there, safe and sound. However, after knocking on the door several times, her hope diminished. She pulls out her gun again and kicked in the door.
It was too late for Annie. She had to find Shawn before Clive did.
After searching every cabin, she heard faint shouting coming from near the pool. AS she drew closer to it, it became clear that it was Clive. He was going on and on about his father or something, but she didn't have time to piece together his story. Shawn was in trouble.
"Gus, get back!" she ordered, pointing her gun at Clive, just as he knocked a pole out of Shawn's hand. He was now defenseless.
"Jules a little help here!" Shawn shouted desperately, trying to avoid Clive's machete. There was no doubt that this one was real.
"I don't have the shot, Shawn!" she yelled back, wishing that Clive would stay still for just a second so she could just get her aim right.
"Take the shot Jules!" he shouted again. But she couldn't risk shooting Shawn too.
"I don't have it!"
"Get it!"
She shoots somewhat blindly, and Clive screams, leading her to believe that she got him rather than Shawn.
"In the hand, really?" shouted Clive, clutching his hand.
"Don't. Move," Juliet ordered, approaching him without taking her gun off of him. If she needed to, she could shoot him without missing. Shawn just stares at her, stunned by what just happened.
As soon as the storm cleared, an ambulance came, as well as a back-up cop car to take Clive away. She wasn't going to have a murderer who tried to kill her boyfriend sit in the back of her car while she drove home.
"I just wanted to say thank you, for shooting that whack-job psycho killer in the hand," Shawn said to her, staring out at the lake in front of them.
"My pleasure," she replied, leaning her head on his shoulder.
"And I know this probably sounds weird, but even though I was really scared and discombobulated and what not, that level of pinpoint marksmanship from you was easily one of the sexiest things I've ever seen," he added. She smiles, and he puts his arm around her shoulder. "I love you."
"I love you too," she replied, staring out at the lake. "How could something so ugly happen here?"
"Take a good look, because I'm never coming back here," he said confidently. "We'll find a different freaky place to snuggle."
"Who hurt you, Shawn?" she asked, stifling a laugh even though it was clearly a serious moment.
"When Gus and I were kids, we came here together, and Gus decided to make a piñata with Jason instead of me," he explained, his eyes locked on the lake.
"So when Jason just turned up out of the blue and invited you guys here again," she added, piecing together the story.
"It was awful Jules," he said, and she was surprised that he didn't lay his arm over his eyes and fall back dramatically.
"How about this," she said, tugging his arm and walking a little ways up the shore. "I'll drive you back, and when we get home, we'll get ice cream and act like none of this happened?"
"Deal," he agreed, his misery forgotten.