Disclaimer: I own none, absolutely none, of these characters.

Eragon turned around to see two hooded figures standing in the doorway. He pulled out his bow and prepared to shoot, but stopped.

"Are we in the right place?" one of them asked his companion.

"How the heck should I know!" the other one snapped.

Eragon walked up to them, confused.

"You guys aren't Ra'zac!"

"Umm… no we're Nazgul."

"Where the heck are the Ra'zac!" Eragon yelled.

"Aruba. They said something about being sick of chasing you and your stupid dragon, so they hired us to go after you instead."

Then a stream of ugly creatures burst into the cathedral, swinging clubs and swords.

"What the – Hold it! HOLD IT!" Eragon yelled.

The creatures all stopped.

"These guys aren't Urgals, are they?" he asked the Nazgul.

"Nope. Orcs."

"Ugh… Besides, you're in the wrong scene! There were none of you in this part of the story, even if you were Urgals!"

There was a pause.

"I told you we should have waited!" One of the orcs hollered.

The rest of them filed outside. Eragon slammed the door behind them.

"Anyone else!" he asked the Nazgul.

"Not that we know of." They said.

"Good. Now –"

All of a sudden, Kroenen ran in, followed closely by Hellboy, Abe, Harry and Ron.

"I'll get him!" Ron yelled.

He fired a freezing charm at Kroenen, but missed and hit one of the Nazgul instead. Saphira flew in and ate the other Nazgul, thinking it was a Ra'zac, then she ate Abe 'cause he smelled like fish. Then Snape came in and performed the Killing Curse on Harry (we all know the problem between those two). Voldemort came in and killed Ron, then he and Kroenen got into a sissy fight over who was more evil. Legolas came in and everyone stopped what they were doing to kill him before going back to fighting each other. Hellboy and Snape were playing poker. Voldemort finally got fed up and killed Kroenen. One of Kroenen's swords flew across the room and skewered Hellboy. Snape won the poker game 'cause he could see all of Hellboy's cards. Van Helsing came in and killed Dracula, who had been there the whole time, then he killed Voldemort, knowing he was evil. Snape killed Van Helsing for killing his master and Saphira ate Snape for killing a good guy. Then Durza came in, wondering why the heck there was an army of orcs outside the cathedral. He wandered over to Eragon, who had been standing there watching all this happen.

"What'd I miss?"

"Nothin' much. Shouldn't you be in Gil'ead? "

Hope you enjoyed it. Kind of random, I know. but Please R&R!