Disclaimer: Siegfried, Hagen, Freya, and Hilda do not belong to me. As much as I'd like to have two hot guys in my possession .
Notes: It's a long drabble about Freya and Hilda talking approximately three weeks after the Asgard series. Dunno how, but it just kind of appeared from my brain. I had a long and not-so-awesome day involvoing midterms, and was sitting in the computer lab feeling too tired to get up and go home. I read a really sweet Hilda and Siegfried fic called Forbidden Love on fanfic (it's on page 4 or 5) and really wanted to write something Asgard-related of my own, involving Hilda and her feelings for Siegfried. I know everyone thinks Freya is annoying, but she somehow came out really tough and spunky in my fic. Oh well. Enjoy!
Bitter Remedy
Freya walked down to her sister, who was sitting on the ruins of the old staircase near the sea. "What are you doing, Hilda?" she demanded, shaking her golden curls. Hilda sighed and murmured in reply, her eyes still distant. "Are you all right, Hilda?" Freya asked again.
"Yes, yes," Hilda answered. Freya placed her small hands on her hips and looked squarely at her older sister.
"Hilda, something is wrong, and you are going to tell me what it is. I understand that the whole Nibelung ring affair was very damaging and all, but it shouldn't be causing you to lose touch with life. Something else is on your mind. Tell me." Hilda turned to glance at her sister before looking away again.
"I don't really know, Freya…it's just that…they're all gone now. Mime and Thor and Fenrir…and Siegfried… They all died because of me." Freya rolled her eyes.
"I know you too well, sister. I'm sure their deaths weigh heavily on you, but so far, you've never let that interfere with your life. Why is it that you're so dreamy all of a sudden? Have you fallen in love or something?" Hilda shrugged.
"I haven't." Freya plunged onward, finally saying what had been on her mind for the past weeks.
"Then why are you like this? Just so you know, Hilda, I've already decided that I'm never going to marry. I thought I would marry Hagen once, but now that he's gone, I'm not going to marry anyone. If you can forget Siegfried so quickly, that's your choice, but I just want to tell you that Siegfried doesn't deserve you treating him like that." Hilda looked at her younger sister. The queen's eyes filled with tears.
"I haven't forgotten him Freya. It's just that it's taken me too long to realize how much I cared about him. I never knew how much he meant to me until he was gone. If I had been able to fight against the ring, perhaps…we'd all be happier." Freya put her arms around her sister.
"Oh, Hilda. Why didn't you tell me earlier? I thought you had found someone new…but you were merely sighing over Siegfried again."
"You were right, Freya," Hilda continued as she wept silently, "Siegfried must be so angry with me…" Freya sighed at her sister's ability to alternate between confident ruler and heartbroken maiden.
"Don't say that. Siegfried loved you, whether or not you could see that. I could see it. Hagen could too. And I can assure you that no matter what, Siegfried could never possess the willpower to be angry with you. Even if you had found someone new, he would have merely wished you all the best. He wanted you to be happy." Hilda looked up for a moment.
"How do you deal with everything? What Hagen did…" Freya shrugged, but her eyes softened.
"I know. But I remember that he acted the way he thought was right, and he believed that if he loved me he should do what was right. I saw the pain and indecision in his eyes. I tell myself that Hagen loved me even as he died, and that it could not have happened otherwise. And yet…" The princess leaned her head against her sister's, as tears began to slip from her eyelids. "…it's hard not to cry." There was a pause. "I would have told Hagen…that I love him…but I kept putting it off…and it's too late now."
The two girls stood alone on the cliff and wept together for what was gone and could never come back.
Regret is a bitter remedy for pain.