Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. :D
Summary: Kakashi gives Gai promises, and Gai, well, Gai gives the only thing that he can give.
Notes: Done for the GaiKaka lj comm. Really wanted to make it for Valentine's Day, but sadly, late as usual. Unbetaed, rather rushed,and why can't I write happy fic? Characterisation might be a little iffy, concrit muchly appreciated. Can't seem to grasp Kakashi, in particular. :0
Gifts that We Give
Kakashi thinks fucking hell, and it is fucking hilarious when he thinks of it, how in between the warm stringy intestinals that are wound around his fingers and Gai panting desperately behind him no one is going to die, because he won't allow them to be.
Two leaps in the air and there comes a rain of shuriken that descend in arcs of glinting metal all around him, but that's only friendly play; no warning before the sudden materialisation of steel at his throat. The kunai slices neatly below the ANBU mask, barely ghosting over the furrow of the space above his clavicle and ploughing solidly into the ridge of his jugular. The missing nin smirks and Kakashi curls his lips: one whisper later when the clone has been dispelled there is no place that Kakashi feels better in tonight, with one arm lodged firmly in the man's chest in place of a heart. Not quite the same function, or shape, but when Kakashi squeezes his fist in a parody of a heartbeat the man convulses. Movement, as if he were alive.
It's no longer so gaspingly, heroically funny that no one is going to die because someone is going to have to, in defiance of Kakashi's mantra. It is still wheezingly hilarious through; in between breathing through the partially collapsed wall of his ribs Kakashi can't help but to gurgle a little with mirth. Gai kicks out from under his legs in some contortionist Taijutsu move that defies the laws of physics as Kakashi's hair does. Kakashi brings his knees up and does a spectacular hobble-leap propel to the next branch, landing on his fracturing ankle, but hey, Gai got a great vicious foot of the other man's entrails and Kakashi has never been happier.
It is almost orgasmic how adrenaline is spiking through him like the chakra pills are. Great whooping tides of it are buoying him up and over and through people. Kakashi slices the missing nin in front of him up rather tidily, even if he does say so himself. He has finesse, and that is mournfully rare nowadays, what with manpower running low and people trying to slice him up, and you don't see them being skillful about it, do you.
He's being petulant now, Kakashi knows, but that is alright because the macabre, macabre job is almost done. The pyre lights up like a beacon in the forest. Embers dance around the base and singe the damp leaves underfoot. The smell of burning flesh is not one easily borne but Kakashi stands stoically through procedure, thinking vaguely about laundry, scented soap, and how he is ever going to get the blasted smell out of his armour.
Gai is behind him, nowhere as stoic but as exhausted and reeking of blood. Messy, Kakashi thinks, this job is tedious and ardours to the extreme, with so little in the way of fulfillment or compensation. But duty compels him inexorably to murder and kill, so kill and murder he does; even for him, on some days it becomes difficult to see how peace can be built upon the foundation of slaughter.
Eventually Gai turns to leave. Kakashi follows. He feels amusement frothing up from his lungs, which ought to be sweet but in reality is slick and almost bitter to taste. He chortles a little, hacks a lot, and all be gets is a thump on the back for all his efforts. Can't you see how fucking funny this is, Kakashi wants to tell Gai, but the words slide back down his throat with the slickness. Gai slings Kakashi over his back and begins to run. Kakashi protests, but Gai's leaps are jerky and uncushioned so Kakashi's chest thuds painfully into the sheath of the katana on Gai's back. The words come out muffled into Gai's shoulder anyway, so Kakashi stops trying and settles for lying very, very still. He's sure his legs might drop off soon if Gai carries on exuberantly like he is, but Gai won't listen. Kakashi falls asleep gently, with the wind whisting past his mask and making the strangest noise when it passes his eyeholes.
Later on when Kakashi wakes up it is already two days later. Gai finds Kakashi in the hospital ward, sprawled easily over the lumpy bed on his stomach. Kakashi is doing up the mission report in careful, albeit scratchy script, seemingly deep in concentration. Gai takes a moment to just watch Kakashi lie there, the utter picture of contentment, even as there are thick, ugly swatches of bandages on various parts of his body like parasitic growths. Kakashi notices Gai and takes a moment to look up from the paper to smile at Gai through a surgical mask. He waves the pen lightly, all carefree and the like.
"I already submitted the report," Gai says, by way of greeting. "I am glad to find you in the Best of Spirits and recovering with such Youthful Zest, Eternal Rival."
Kakashi murmurs in response and fiddles briefly with the pen cap. "Can you come over and fill in the casualties?" he asks, offhandedly.
"Your lapse in memory is appalling, Kakashi! Surely you can remember something like that?" Gai is incredulous, choosing to ignore the fact that Kakashi is methodically refusing to listen.
"Come over," Kakashi states, and Gai does, because he hasn't the heart to watch Kakashi's nonchalance. When Gai reaches Kakashi's side he finds himself offbalanced by Kakashi's sharp tug on his arm, almost ending up crushing Kakashi with his weight. The cast around his right hand misses braining Kakashi by a good one inch, so Gai exhales in relief. "What is the meaning of this, Kakashi?" Gai exclaims, striving to sound jesting. "You might have been hurt!""
Gai knows Kakashi won't grace him with an answer, but the sharp jab to his gut with a very bony elbow still catches him unawares. Kakashi is peering up at him inquisitively with unrestrained curiousity, like Gai is a specimen that Kakashi has come across for the very first time. "ust making sure you're alive," Kakashi mutters, smiling again, that beatific, heartbreaking smile that makes Gai want to cry or open a gate. Kakashi smiles, like doing that will justify the unceremonious jab that probably ruptured the newly stitched and tender area. But in a sense it does, because Gai is alive, and there's nothing like pain to make a man very aware of his consciousness.
Then Kakashi rolls them over, and Gai has the fleeting thought that Kakashi has well and truly lost it. "Gai," Kakashi says, this time without smiling so much, "I promised that no one would die," he says, "on that mission. Or any other mission." Gai makes a non-committal noise of agreement; he knows Kakashi promises this to every team he takes, formally or informally, but only a fool or an over-confident man will make such foolhardy gestures and Kakashi is neither.
"I know, Eternal Rival," Gai says, "And you kept your promise."
"But just barely," Kakashi says breathlessly, looking amused despite the atmosphere and content of their discussion. Kakashi's eyes are very, very bright, with fever or delirium, Gai doesn't want to know, trapped as he is under Kakashi with Kakashi's breath ghosting over his cheek. Instinct tells him to run for it but Gai stays absolutely still - he has no wish to be the proverbial straw that breaks the camel's back. Briefly he considers using his cast to give Kakashi a good thump on the pressure points on the side of his neck, but that would be most unscrupulous and definitely unmanly. Gai stares resolutely back, matching bright eyes with calm ones.
Kakashi suddenly moves off Gai. "You kept my promise for me, Gai," he says, with some weariness.
I don't understand, Gai wants to say, and chide Kakashi for being such a stubborn fool. The principle of the thing is that everyone makes sure no one dies; no one person has such a monumental responsibility. But he does understand, and know that someday the toll of making such a resolution will make itself shown. So Gai takes the simplest way out. "You saved me, Eternal Rival," he says, and it is with truth and conviction.
"We don't keep tabs on this," Kakashi says plaintively.
Gai scolds, "I know," but gently, because someone needs to remind Kakashi that Gai will be there for him too. Kakashi kisses Gai after that, when Gai is no longer surprised and expecting the rough press of mask against his lips. Gai unhooks the mask from Kakashi's ears and lays it carefully on the side table. "Come here," Kakashi says, for the second time, and Gai does again, settling easily beside Kakashi. They don't move for a long time, until Gai gets up to leave when Kakashi finally meanders his way into unfretted , narcotics induced rest.
"It seems like the last two times we met I ended up falling asleep on you," Kakashi says as he opens the door to Gai. "And is that takeout?"
'Why no, Eternal Rival, this is nothing but the Most Nutritious and Tasty Foodstuffs Appropriate to Aiding in your Delicate Recovery!" The trademark sparkle to the smile is back, and Kakashi thinks there is a faint echo of it in Gai's eyes.
"Come in, come in," Kakashi ushers, eyeing the food somewhat indiscreetly, but that is only to be expected when his stomach is craving for Gai's cuisine after hospital gruel.
Gai stands in the livingroom to proclaim loudly that he has made enough for two. Kakashi rolls his eyes, because, really, he rather expected that by this point.
The food is excellent and nothing short of a culinary masterpiece, which is surprising, considering that Gai can only work with semisolid consistencies and wholesome, bland produce. Kakashi lets dinner pass in relative peace and choses to show his appreciation after dinner, when the dishes have been cleared away and they are reclining lazily on the sofa, heavy with sated appetites. He crawls over Gai and lands awkwardly in Gai's lap. Gai strokes blunt fingers though Kakashi's hair easily, gentle and careful.
"Kiss me, Gai," Kakashi says from the region of Gai's midriff so Gai bends down to, craning his neck a little to meet Kakashi's dry, chapped lips. His hands are still tangled in Kakashi's hair but Kakashi doesn't seem to mind one bit, only returning to trying to nudge Gai's legs apart to the right degree to create a comfortable resting space.
Kakashi isn't one to give gifts lightly: Kakashi has too little of sanity and even humanity is rationed, but promises, oh promises are legendary, because when Hatake Kakashi makes Gai the most frivolous, impossible and suicidal promises he can think of, like propositions. Nothing like Gai's challenges, because they're all about himself and nothing about Gai; things like not letting Gai die, giving Gai twenty faltering kisses by the time the night is up, or returning to Gai after every mission. Kakashi doesn't seem to see that Gai always gives challenges because they involve consent, and always some measure of the other party's participation - and that's what Gai really wants, for Kakashi to see that it isn't some one-way street. Kakashi might ignore Gai or show indifference or annoyance to Gai's challenges but he can be absolutely crazy when it comes down to it - Gai won't die that easily, and Kakashi had better start realising it.
"Kakashi, Eternal Rival," Gai says, almost speculatively, watching Kakashi as the man starts wrapping cold arms around Gai's neck. Gai lets himself be tugged gently down, till he's resting atop Kakashi on the sofa. "I like your green spandex," Kakashi says teasingly, stroking over Gai's thighs. Gai must have looked a little too incredulous at that statement (Kakashi has never expressed anything other than the most thorough opposition to his Youthful Attire) because Kakashi pulls down the concealed zip at the side seam with too much force and says, "I shows off all your curves." Gai would have raised an eyebrow at that, but behind he hears the implication of better than the ANBU armour, and that, he understands.
Hatake Kakashi thinks too much, tries too much and cares too much behind the lazy facade. Gai risks his private precious bits by speaking when Kakashi has his mouth wrapped firmly around Gai's erection to say, "Quit ANBU, Eternal Rival."
Kakashi doesn't stop what he is doing, doesn't even comment on Gai's brilliant sense of timing. He does, however, bite down a little ruthlessly, enough to send Gai jerking backwards and out of his mouth. Gai looks a little hurt, but that's only natural. Kakashi wipes his mouth carelessly with the back of his hand and smirks up. "And I love you too, Gai," he says, infuriatingly, and ducks gracefully when Gai throws a punch that expectedly lands harmlessly on the cushion.
Gai frowns, worries unabated, but Kakashi gives him a deep, warm kiss, and murmurs, "I'll think about it." Kakashi is anything but selfish, but Gai hopes that just this once he will be, for Gai and for himself. Kakashi gives Gai promises, and Gai, well, Gai will live for Kakashi.
The End
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