Aubrey walks out of her office and into the waiting room and looks around. "Mrs. Beca Bale? I am Dr. Posen, please come with me," Aubrey says politely.
Beca slowly rises and straightens out her shirt. Beca is dressed in a long sleeved button up blue flannel, torn up jeans, and black Chucks. She awkwardly walks up to Aubrey, seeming a little uncomfortable with the whole situation. "Please follow me," Aubrey states as she opens the door that leads to the hallway full of offices.
Beca avoids Aubrey's glance and follows behind her to Aubrey's office door. Aubrey stands with the door knob in her hand and makes the 'after you' motion. "Please make yourself comfortable," Aubrey says with a smile.
Aubrey analyzes her actions as Beca walks into her office. Beca's walk is slow and she keeps her gaze down. What has she been through? She watches as Beca moves to the chair on the other side of the room, away from where Aubrey sits.
Aubrey closes the door, walks over to her chair, and sits down. "So, Mrs. Bale, I am going to tell you a little about me. I am Dr. Aubrey Posen and I am a Clinical Psychologist. I got my Doctorate degree at Duke University, and my undergraduate degree in Psychology and Sociology and Barden University." Aubrey looks at Beca and smiles.
"Everything that is said in this room is confidential. Unless it is something that may cause harm to yourself and/or other people. Then I must ethically report it to the authorities. When you filled out your paperwork the terms of payment and insurance. If you have any concerns, please do not hesitate to let me know. I will get in touch with a Social Worker to help you with arrangements. Confidentiality was also mentioned in the paper work. If you have any questions regarding confidentiality or payment and insurance, please let me know."
Aubrey stops and observes Beca's behavior. Beca looks like she is processing all the information that she has laid out on the line for her.
"Not any that I can think of right now," Beca said in a small voice.
"Okay then," Aubrey says with a smile. "To start out, so I can get to know you, I will ask a series of questions. During this time, I will be taking a lot of notes. This will only happen during this first meeting. So, please don't be alarmed. If you feel uncomfortable, please let me know." Aubrey observes her as she shifts in her seat.
"Mrs. Bale-"
"Call me Beca," Beca says as she interrupts Aubrey.
Aubrey smiles, "Beca, look at me as a longtime friend or a third party. Whatever may help you. I am here to help you," she says as she sets her legal pad and pen down. "This is meant to be a friendly environment. I want you to be comfortable in this office. Please remember that I will not disclose an of the information that you talk about. Nothing will leave this room. I can promise you this." She smiles, pushes up her glasses, and picks up her legal pad and pen. "Goodness this girl makes me nervous. I am usually confident and absolutely in control when I am working. This girl makes me feel something completely different."
Beca sits up in her chair with her arms crossed in front of her chest. "Okay, ask your shit ton of questions. I may or may not answer every one. Sure, I know that you are here to help me. Hell, I came to you. It still does not mean that I am going to answer, but when I do it will be the truth," she speaks with a harsh tone.
"God, this is going to be harder than I thought. I know I have had many clients that do not fully cooperate and I have referred them to other Psychologists. Hopefully I do not have to do that in this case. This girl draws me in. Dammit. I cannot think this way about a client. It is unethical. Come on, Posen," Aubrey thinks to herself.
"Okay, Beca, as I said before, I will be writing a lot and will be taking notes. It will just happen for this session. Therapy has not started yet."
That was when Beca smirked, "Sure, Doc. You already said that numerous times."
"Snarky. Definitely highly functioning. A type of person that does not like to be told things more than once. Defense mechanism?" Aubrey thinks. Aubrey makes a note to write down all her thoughts later, with the words: snarky and defense as a reminder cue.
"I am going to start with the questions now. Okay, Beca," She looks up and sees Beca nod. "What specific behaviors or problems would you like help with?"
"I have these feelings that I do not understand. Something has changed within me."
"What kind of feelings," Aubrey writes down the answers as she asks the questions.
"I am not ready to disclose that type of information."
"Okay," Aubrey smiles. She continues to ask Beca questions that help her understand her. "Why now? What made you seek help now?"
"Well Doc, it is affecting my marriage."
"She cares about her marriage. Cares enough to seek help. That is great. She has commitment," Aubrey writes down. She continues asking about Beca about her family history. Aubrey made note that her mom had headaches and problems with miscarriages. Her dad had no problems. While Aubrey was going through the family psychological information, that helped shed some light. Beca's mom suffered from depression/suicide, anxiety, and panic attacks. Which is understandable since they all go hand and hand with each other. Beca's father suffered from alcohol/ drug abuse.
"Beca, what type of drugs did your dad abuse?" Aubrey pays close attention to how Beca acts. Things like this affects the household and family for life.
Beca looks away and fidgets with her hands. "My mother's sperm donor, for allowing for me to be "born" abused alcohol. That is all I am going to say."
Resentment. Hostility. Hatred.
One question really seemed to make her stop talking. It was when Aubrey asked, "Where there any problems during your mother's pregnancy with you or at your birth?"
Beca's reply was simple, "I was born early."
She did not want to answer. It seems that whenever pregnancy, her mom, or "the sperm donor", as she puts it, comes up she shuts down. Possible root of the problem?
Aubrey notes that Beca is on Zoloft, migraine medicine, and Ativan. Beca experiences headaches, depression, and anxiety. She has problems with sleeping as well. The psychological symptoms that Beca experiences include: depression, mood swings, irritability, anger, can't handle stress, PTSD, anxiety, panic attacks, she hates to be in crowds, social withdrawal/suicidal thoughts, and difficulty with change.
"Are you currently having suicidal thoughts?" Beca looks uneasy, but does not answer. In this instance, I am paying attention to process. Her body movements. She already stated that she would not answer some questions. It so happens that it is this set of questions.
"Have you in the past?" Again, Aubrey is met with silence.
"Beca, have you done anything to harm yourself or others?"
"No comment," Beca replies while playing with a string on her shirt. Aubrey made note of that.
"Do you frequently feel nervous or fearful?"
"Yes."
"Do you experience panic attacks?"
"Yes."
"Can you please elaborate," Aubrey asks.
Beca stays silent.
"Beca, I am trying to understand you. Is there anything that you feel like I should know before we finish for the day?"
"So, Posen, no. I do not."
"Do you have any questions for me?"
"What happens if we see each other outside of this office?"
"If we happen to see each other outside of this office, I will act like I do not know you. You would have to start the conversation if you want to talk."
"Okay, Posen."
"I will see you next week?" Aubrey stands up. Beca follows suit. Aubrey opens her door and lets Beca out and Aubrey follows behind her.
"Bye, Posen." With that, Beca is out the buildings door.
"Goodness, this may be harder than I thought. Something about this girl intrigues me. I just don't know it yet," Aubrey thinks as she makes her way back to her office.
Once in her office, Aubrey sits down and looks over her notes.
Pregnancy
Mother
Sperm Donor
Snarky
Defense
Those words stand out to Aubrey. While in the middle of Aubrey going over her notes, her cell phone rings. Aubrey looks down at the caller I.D. and it is Trinity. Aubrey's heart flutters a little and she answers the phone, "Posen."
"Hey, Baby." Trinity says.
"Hey," Aubrey shifts in her seat. Sitting on your ass all day does hurt after a while.
"What are you up to?"
"Um, looking over my notes. What about you?"
"About to leave the shop. Are we still going to dinner with Chloe tonight? It is in about an hour."
Aubrey looks over at the clock and sees that it is almost 6 PM. "Shit! Yes, I am about to leave the office. I will see you at home, I didn't mean to get absorbed in the notes. Dammit." Aubrey jumps up and starts packing her back to head home.
"Aubrey, calm down. It will be fine. We only live 10 minutes from your office. I'll see you at home. I love you." Aubrey hears Trinity's car door shut.
"I love you, too. Be safe." Aubrey hangs up, grabs her brief case, and heads to her Comet. "What the fuck is wrong with me," she says aloud.