Title: The Way I Feel
Rating: PG
Pairing: Helena/Barbara
Author: Wizard Inc. (A subsidiary of Virtual Crack Productions)
Author's E-mail: Marvelwizard@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: By a cruel twist of fate I own none of the characters, so
please don't get mad and sue. I used and paraphrased lyrics from Course of
Nature and BBMak, and one little bit from Guns and Roses.
Author's note: This is Barbara's response to Helena's letter in My Only, so read that first before you read this, it will be less confusing that way. This is Fist person POV fic, as it is supposed to be a letter. I know I should finish other stuff, but Its been buggin me, so I had to do it. Thanks to retz and holly and everyone else who helped and encouredged me.This will be the last ficlet, the rest of the series will be an actual fic, i promise. Special thanks to Lena by beta queen.
Dear Helena,
They say if you truly love someone you should set them free, oh Helena when did I let you slip away. So wrapped up in my own pain, I didnt see my heart fading. I didn't want too, because that would mean I was still alive; not going through life half-dead, bound only by duty. I dont think I will ever get over the memory of left behind, Oh Helena, I dont want you to become one of those memories. I want so badly to be your everything, to cease the friction of our hearts. I dont want you to become a lacuna of my being. How callous I have been, have I gone to far? Can you ever forgive me? Damn you Helena, dont you dare say goodbye to me. It should be easier, to say all the things i've wanted to say to you, what I really wanted to say to you that night, and every waking moment since. I suppose pride is a preculiar creature, but thats no excuse is it?
It is selfish of me, to ask you to wait, when you have waited so long already. Will you wait for me, or am I already too late? You cant really be saying goodbye. I cant imagine what you want me to be. I guess I am afraid that giving you everything will only get my heart ripped away entirley. You are the only one that has ever made me feel completely whole, it terrifies me, so I push you away. I knew there would come a day , when I would feel this way, but it is so hard to grasp. You drive me crazy do you know that? Everything you say, everything you do. I know it will be hard, but I need to do this.
I can't be what you want me to be Helena, I never was, I never will be. I hate to cause you more pain, but it has to be this way, or we will both tumble and never recover. I know it will be hard, but I cant give you anything. You deserve to be with someone who can give you everything, someone that is worth your heart. I will always be your friend, never forget that, but it will never be anything more than that, I just dont have it in me anymore. I hope you dont hate me, I hope you will stay. I hope you understand, someday you will forgive me for trampling your heart. You need to make it your own way Helena, you will be alright I promise.
Love Barbara
Author's note: This is Barbara's response to Helena's letter in My Only, so read that first before you read this, it will be less confusing that way. This is Fist person POV fic, as it is supposed to be a letter. I know I should finish other stuff, but Its been buggin me, so I had to do it. Thanks to retz and holly and everyone else who helped and encouredged me.This will be the last ficlet, the rest of the series will be an actual fic, i promise. Special thanks to Lena by beta queen.
Dear Helena,
They say if you truly love someone you should set them free, oh Helena when did I let you slip away. So wrapped up in my own pain, I didnt see my heart fading. I didn't want too, because that would mean I was still alive; not going through life half-dead, bound only by duty. I dont think I will ever get over the memory of left behind, Oh Helena, I dont want you to become one of those memories. I want so badly to be your everything, to cease the friction of our hearts. I dont want you to become a lacuna of my being. How callous I have been, have I gone to far? Can you ever forgive me? Damn you Helena, dont you dare say goodbye to me. It should be easier, to say all the things i've wanted to say to you, what I really wanted to say to you that night, and every waking moment since. I suppose pride is a preculiar creature, but thats no excuse is it?
It is selfish of me, to ask you to wait, when you have waited so long already. Will you wait for me, or am I already too late? You cant really be saying goodbye. I cant imagine what you want me to be. I guess I am afraid that giving you everything will only get my heart ripped away entirley. You are the only one that has ever made me feel completely whole, it terrifies me, so I push you away. I knew there would come a day , when I would feel this way, but it is so hard to grasp. You drive me crazy do you know that? Everything you say, everything you do. I know it will be hard, but I need to do this.
I can't be what you want me to be Helena, I never was, I never will be. I hate to cause you more pain, but it has to be this way, or we will both tumble and never recover. I know it will be hard, but I cant give you anything. You deserve to be with someone who can give you everything, someone that is worth your heart. I will always be your friend, never forget that, but it will never be anything more than that, I just dont have it in me anymore. I hope you dont hate me, I hope you will stay. I hope you understand, someday you will forgive me for trampling your heart. You need to make it your own way Helena, you will be alright I promise.
Love Barbara