How I Met Your Father

by eastwindholmes

Sonny Carisi-Barba recounts the tale of how he met his husband to his four children. It's a long, long story.

1. Chapter 1

A/N: I know I know the last thing I should do is start ANOTHER new fic but this idea would not leave me alone! This is an AU crossover of SVU and Brooklyn 99 told in the style of How I Met Your Mother. I'm adhering very closely to the story structure of HIMYM but also trying to make it unique. Some elements are very similar, but I'm maintaining individuality the best I can.

YEAR 2036

Sonny Carisi-Barba smiled fondly at the picture in his hands. It was one of his husband, his four children, and himself, meeting their youngest at the adoption agency. He gently passed his thumb over Rafael's face, heart warm with pride. The family of six lived in Westchester county; Sonny, Rafael, the kids and their two cats. It had been a long winding road to get where they were today, but Sonny doesn't regret a single moment. His fingers gloss over his kid's beaming face, landing on their youngest's, Cobie. He cherishes his family more than ever and would hold them close as long as he could. And they deserved to know why. "Kids," he called out loudly.

Footsteps could be heard resonating throughout the house. Four children raced into the room, sock-cladded and red in the face. Their oldest, Michael, cleared his throat. "I swear I didn't do it and I didn't see anything," he declared, jaw set, tilted upwards, eyeing his father suspiciously.

Sonny chuckled. "Michael, you know that only makes me feel like you did do something and you're just not hiding it very well."

Michael scowled as a freckled brunette girl elbowed him with a wide gin on her face. "What's up daddy?" she asked curiously.

Sonny gestured to the couch parallel to his desk. There was a brief 30 seconds of squabbling as to who sat where, but after clearing his throat and delivering a pointed look, his children settled. "Kids, have I told you the story of how I met your father?" he asked.

Michael groaned, sinking further into the plush cushions. "I think we're being punished," he whispered hotly to the girl on his left. She snickered.

"You are not being punished, Michael Ellis. Now shut up and listen," Sonny said firmly. He leaned back in his chair. "The year was 2011. It was the beginning of September. I was 27, I had just earned my detective badge and I was working with your Uncle Jake and Aunt Amy. Everything was going well, until your Uncle Jake managed to mess it up..."

YEAR 2011

A young man was on one knee, cheeks flushed and eyes hopeful. His dark curls were swept off his forehead before his face split into a wide grin. He pulled a tiny black box out of his pocket, opening it. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes! That's it! She says yes, you're engaged," Sonny exclaimed.

Jake huffed as he pulled himself into a standing position. He pulled Sonny into a hug. "Thanks so much Dom. I really appreciate your help in planning this out."

Sonny laughed it off, gripping his friend. "Are you kidding? It's you and Amy! I've been there for all the important moments of you and Amy. Some I even wish that I hadn't."

Jake chuckled. "Yeah, sorry about that one man."

"It's physics Jake, if the bottom bunk moves, so will the top. But anyways, dude I'm so happy for you. Tonight you and Amy are going to get engaged," Sonny said wistfully.

Jake grinned widely. "Yeah man. So what are you up to tonight?" he asked.

Sonny grimaced bitterly.

Amanda Rollins' phone began to vibrate, and she flipped it open. "Hey! Sonny! So you know how I've always had this thing for short girls?" she said conversationally.

Sonny sighed, "Yes, Amanda, I regretfully admit that I do know that."

"Well I've got a new thing. Girls with those lob haircuts," Amanda said, obviously pleased with herself. "Anyways, I'm on my way to the bar. I'll see you in 5! And suit up!"

Sonny rolled his eyes. He turned to Jake, who was busying himself in the kitchen. "Hey, that was Amanda. I'm gonna go meet her in the bar. Text me how it goes."

Jake nodded enthusiastically. "Of course brah! See you tonight!" he called after Sonny, who was halfway out the door.

"You never wear a suit," Amanda grumbled, smoothing out the crease in her pencil skirt. She huffed, straightening her jacket.

Sonny rolled his eyes. "I did too, that one time."

Amanda punched Sonny in the arm. He winced. "Blazers don't count."

Sonny snorted. He took a swg of his beer wistfully. "You know, ever since college it's been Jake and Amy and me. Now it's going to be Jake and Amy... and me. They'll get married, start a family. It isn't going to be long until I'm the weird, middle-aged bachelor their kids call "Uncle Sonny." Jesus Christ, ow 'Manda, what was that for?" Sonny exclaimed, holding his shoulder after Amanda delivered another sucker punch.

Amanda merely rolled her eyes. "I see what this bullshit is about. Sonny. Remember what I told you. Don't get married until you're 30...at least!"

Sonny bit his lip, tilting his head to the side. "Thirty. Yeah. Yeah! You're right. I'm sorry, it's just once your best friend gets engaged, you can't help but think of stuff like that."

Amanda placed a hand on her chest dramatically. "I thought I was your best friend. Dominick Andrew Carisi Jr., say I'm your best friend," she demanded.

Sonny sighed. "Fine, yes, Amanda you're my best friend."

She grinned triumphantly. "Excellent! And as your best friend I'd like to play a game called 'Haaaaave you met Sonny?'" she proclaimed, drawing out the word 'have.'

Sonny groaned. "No, no, Amanda we are not playing 'have you met Sonny.'"

But Amanda was already ahead of him, and tapped the shoulder of a short brunette. "Hi, have you met Sonny?" she asked.

The brunette turned to face Sonny, a smile forming on plump lips. "Hi, I"m Yasmin," she said pleasantly, offering her hand.

Sonny obliged, giving a polite but warm handshake. "Yasmin, wow, that's a really pretty name," he remarked.

"It's Lebanese."

The two sat down and Sonny ordered another beer and a cosmopolitan for Yasmin. They began chatting amicably. She worked as a paralegal for a private law firm, and Sonny expressed his desire to go to law school. Sooner or later, the top of weddings appeared, and Sonny found himself on a winding rant. "I'm so happy for Jake, I really am. I'm just not ready to settle down right now."

"Do you think you'll ever want to get married?" she asked.

Sonny sighed dreamily. "Eventually, some fall day. Possibly in Central Park. Simple ceremony, we'll write our own vows. But-eh-no DJ, people will dance. I'm not going to worry about it! Damn it, why did Jake have to get engaged?" he groaned. Yasmin laughed. "Yeah, nothing hotter than a guy planning out his own imaginary wedding, huh?" Sonny asked wryly.

"I think it's cute," Yasmin said, giggling.

"Would you want to go out sometime?" Sonny blurted out.

Yasmin flushed, her fingers twisting into the strap of her handbag. "I'm so sorry Sonny. I"m dating Gina, the bartender."

Sonny glanced over Yasmin's shoulder to see a short woman with brown highlights giving him a steely glare. "Oh. I'm sorry."

Sonny excused himself, wandering back over to Amanda. "I'm being crazy, I'm not ready to settle down," he declared.

Amanda ignored him pointedly. "How does Gina end up with a girl with a lob haircut?"

"It's always been, don't think about it until you're thirty-"

Amanda scoffed. "I know right? She doesn't even wear suits."

Sonny continued, "But even so, Jake found the love of his life. Even if I was ready, which I'm not, but if I was, it's like okay...I'm ready...where are they?" Sonny said despondently.

He finished his beer in a gulp and turned around. His eyes were immediately drawn to her. She was leather clad, down to the combat boots. Her dark hair was tossed over her shoulder in messy curls. She was smiling softly, when she caught Sonny staring at her. She gave him a half smile, in return to his unyielding goofy grin. Sonny sauntered over to Amanda, tapping her on the shoulder. "Hey- 'Manda. You see that girl?"

Amanda turned, slightly irritated. She inspected the dark haired girl across the room critically. "Oh yeah you know she likes it dirty," she quipped.

Sonny's mind began to race. "Ok, I just have to figure out how to approach her. Maybe if I go over and compliment her..."

He was interrupted by Amanda placing a hand on his shoulder. "Hi, have you met Sonny?" Giving Sonny a wink, she walked away.

The dark haired girl chuckled and pointed at Sonny. "Sonny-right?" she asked jokingly.

Sonny blushed. "Yeah. Yeah it is. And you are...?" he trailed off, waiting for a response.

"I'm Rosa," she said. "I uh, I work as a TV crime reporter for Metro News 1. I moved here from Canada hoping it would be my big break. But I just got stuck with those dumb little fluff pieces at the end of the news, like 'robber stops for pizza after crime spree' and all that. I'm hoping for something a bit bigger eventually though."

"Oh so 'murderer stops for calzones'?" Sonny gestured, immediately regretting his decision when Rosa's nose wrinkled in amusement. "I'm so sorry, you're just really really pretty," he apologized, pulling at his collar nervously.

Sonny suddenly noticed a group of girls in the corner booth eyeing Rosa and him with increasing suspicion. "Woah, your friends look really upset."

Rosa gave them a small wave. "Yeah, the one in the middle, she just got dumped so she's not too keen on men tonight," she said, giving her friends a small wave.

Sonny perked up. "Well uh, if it'll help, you can throw a drink in my face. I wouldn't mind at all," he said eagerly.

Rosa flashed him a smile. "She would love that. It does look fun."

Sonny cleared his throat. "Hey, do you want to go out Saturday night?" he asked, hoping he didn't sound overzealous.

"I'm so sorry. I'm going to Orlando for a week. There's a fugitive who's barricaded himself in a cheese shop and I"m going to cover it," Rosa said apologetically.

"That's going to take a whole week?" Sonny asked incredulously.

Rosa smacked her lips. "Yeah, he's planning to eat all the cheese in the shop as well. A world record."

Sonny chuckled heartily. "Well I mean. If it's not too forward, how about tomorrow night?"

"Yeah, I'd like that," Rosa replied. She scribbled something on a napkin before sliding it over discretely. Sonny grinned, pleased with himself. Several seconds later, he was met with the cold splash of a gin and tonic being thrown in his face.

Amanda slid over into the seat next to him with an earsplitting grin. "De-wait for it-nied," she sang obnoxiously, taking no effort to stifle her laughter. "You just got denied."

Sonny smirked smugly. He brandished the napkin in front of Amanda's face with pride. "We're going out tomorrow night."

"What- I thought we were going laser-tagging tomorrow night?" she whined.

Sonny snorted. "I was never going to go laser tagging with you Amanda."

Amanda frowned in discontent. Sonny finished his beer and slammed it on the table unceremoniously. "I think I"m going to head back up to the apartment, Jake and Amy should be done...doing," he said, putting on his coat.

Amanda followed him upstairs and into Sonny's shared apartment. They found Jake and Amy sitting on the couch, watching television. Amy snorted, leaning into Jake's embrace. Jake, looking extremely sheepish, opened and closed his mouth wordlessly. "Jake can't open champagne in the apartment anymore," Amy declared.

Sonny snorted. "Still? Oh buddy," he said, consoling his friend with a solid pat on the back. "Congratulations, by the way guys!" Sonny gestured to the glittering ring on Amy's left hand.

Amy beamed. "Thanks Sonny."

Amanda snorted. "You guys are killing yourselves. Don't get married. Especially before you're 30!" She collapsed onto the seat next to the couch with spectacle.

Amy rolled her eyes and ignored her. "So I've got a date tomorrow," Sonny declared joyfully.

The apartment lapsed into halfhearted congratulatory sentiments and a particularly large groan from Amanda.

Sonny sat nervously, tapping his fingers on the table. He had invited Rosa to a little corner bistro with his favorite Italian meatball sandwiches. On the wall to his right, a blue french horn gleamed under the soft candlelight. The bell on the door tinkled and Sonny's eyes shifted from his glass of water to the entrance. Rosa had just arrived. Her dark hair was pulled back into a low ponytail, several pieces framing her face delicately. She smiled at Sonny, giving him a small wave. Sonny scrambled to his feet. He stretched out his hand, which she took, and he gestured to the seat across from his. "You look stunning."

"Well thank you Sonny," Rosa replied appreciatively. "How are you doing tonight?"

Sonny cleared his throat. "I'm uh. I'm great. How about you? Tell me about yourself?"

Rosa chuckled in amusement. "Well I told you, I'm a crime reporter for Metro News 1. I just moved here from Canada several months ago. I uh, I have five cats. If you laugh, I'll punch you right here, right now. I love crime stories, scotch, good food, and good movies," she said to Sonny with a half smile. She turned to the waiter who had just arrived at their table. "I'd like a Greek salad and your Italian meatball sub."

Sonny nodded. "I would like the same as the lady," he said, handing him both menus.

"Woah check out that blue french horn," Rosa gasped. "That's pretty wild."

"It's kind of like a Smurf penis," Sonny commented casually. He immediately winced, regretting his choice of words. You don't say Smurf penis in front of a pretty girl, Carisi, get it together, he thought scathingly.

Rosa gulped down her water before laughing sincerely. "Smurf penis, that's funny," she said.

The waiter returned with their food, placing salads and sandwiches in front of them. "Enjoy," he said politely.

Rosa began picking at her salad. She and Sonny chatted amicably before she offered him a plate of olives. "Would you want these?" she asked. "I hate olives," she admitted.

Sonny perked up immediately. "The Olive Theory!" he exclaimed.

Rosa snorted. "What's the Olive Theory?" she asked.

Sonny popped an olive into his mouth and chewed enthusiastically. "The Olive Theory is based off of my friends Jake and Amy. He hates olives and she loves them. It contributes to whatever makes them such a great couple."

"You know," Rosa began, leaning in and covering Sonny's hand with her own. "I've had a jar of olives just sitting in my fridge forever," she continued, interlacing her fingers with his.

Sonny flushed red. "That's uh. That's something I can take off your hands if you'd like."

Later in the apartment, Jake and Amy were on the couch, reading magazines of their respective interests. Sonny burst through the door, humming jubilantly. "Mom, dad, I found the future Mrs. Dominick Carisi!" he announced. "Jake. How do I always describe my perfect woman?"

Jake snickered. "Let's see. She likes cats?"

"She has five of them, Jacob. Five of them."

"She likes scotch?"

"She told me she loves scotch old enough to order its own scotch. And she had scotch with dinner."

"She can quote obscure lines from the Harry Potter series?"

"She knew about Winky the House Elf, Jake. And," Sonny continued with grandiose. "She hates olives!"

Amy gasped. "The Olive Theory! But wait. You guys were hitting it off. What happened? It's not even 11 yet?"

Sonny paused, thinking back to earlier in the night. He and Rosa had been walking down the street. "I have got to get one of those blue french horns to put above my fireplace," she declared.

Sonny smirked. "No green clarinet? No purple trumpet?" he teased lightly.

Rosa shook her head. "It's a smurf penis or no dice."

The ringtone on Rosa's phone suddenly filled the air. She held up her hand, looking at Sonny apologetically. "I'm sorry it's work. Yeah, it's me. No freakin' way- yeah, yeah I'll be right there," she hung up and turned to Sonny. "There's uh, there's a story they want me to cover. It's uh, on the Manhattan Bridge. Sonny I'm so sorry."

Sonny smiled sadly, gesturing to the open neighborhood. "No it's fine, it's fine. I'm not far from my apartment. And we can always take a raincheck."

Rosa nodded enthusiastically. She pulled Sonny into a hug. "Thank you so much for understanding. I"ll call you when I get back from Orlando."

She jogged away, and Sonny began his walk back home.

Jake interjected. "You kissed her though, right Sonny?"

Sonny winced. "It wasn't the right moment. This woman is going to be my future wife. I want our first kiss to be absolutely amazing."

"Awww," Amy crooned. "So you chickened out like a little bitch," she quipped, flipping the page of her magazine in amusement.

"I did not chicken out," Sonny scoffed. "I also don't want advice from a pirate who hasn't been single since the freshman year of college."

Amy rolled her eyes, shifting into an upright position. "Sonny. Anyone who's single would tell you the exact damn thing. Even the dumbest single person alive. And if you don't believe me, just call her up."

Sonny huffed and pulled his cellphone out of his pocket. He dialed it begrudgingly. "Hey. Amanda. Can I get your opinion on something? I can meet you in the bar in 15. Right. Thanks. See you soon."

Fifteen minutes later, Jake, Amy, Amanda, and Sonny had all corralled themselves into a tiny booth in MacLaren's. Sonny had relayed his story to Amanda, who was rolling her eyes dramatically. "Jake and Amy think I chickened out. What do you think Amanda? Was she giving me the signal?"

Amanda smacked her lips disappointingly. "One, I cannot believe you are not wearing a suit. Two, what the hell does a girl have to do, Dom? Bat her eyes at you in Morse code? Sonny- kiss me," she mocked, fluttering her eyelashes. "You just kiss her!"

"Not if you don't get the signal," Sonny insisted.

Amanda scoffed. She leaned over the table, grabbing Jake by the collar and kissing him deeply. Amy suppressed a snort as Jake fell back into his seat, disgust evident in his eyes. "Did I give Jake the signal?" Amanda demanded, turning on Sonny.

"No," Jake exclaimed. He turned to Amy. "I swear baby, I didn't."

"You see- at least I know now, Jake and I will never happen. And not just because I'm a raging lesbian," Amanda explained. "You should have kissed her."

Sonny sighed. "I should have. She said she'd call me after she gets back from Orlando in a week."

Amanda rolled her eyes again. "You see, my wonderful, clueless, oaf of a friend. A week is like a friggin' year in hot girl time. You're never going to see her again."

Sonny's opened his mouth, but closed it very quickly. "There," he pointed at the tiny TV in the corner of the bar. "There she is."

Amy turned to face the TV. "Wow, she's beautiful. Gina! Turn it up!"

The bartender obliged, and the group listened as Rosa finished her report. "And it was a happy ending when the man came off the ledge, and didn't jump after all."

Sonny leapt to his feet, pointing at the TV. "I gotta do what that guy didn't! I gotta take the leap. Except, that's an awful metaphor because for me it means fall in love and get married and for him it was...death. I'm gonna go kiss her. Right now."

Jake snorted. "You're the future lawyer, so you should know that that's a freakin' crazy idea."

Sonny smirked, smacking the table before grabbing his coat and hurrying out the door. He just two quick stops to make.

Sonny raced into the bistro, flying past waiters and hostesses. He snatched the blue french horn from the ledge and ran back outside, slamming the door on the cab shut. "Drive," he instructed. He looked at Jake, who had his eyebrows raised. "Everyone brings flowers," he said casually.

Amy clapped her hands gleefully and Amanda slugged him in the arm. "Look at you, you suited up! Sonny is going to get it on with a TV reporter!" she said. "This just in- you get me?" she held a slender hand up. When nobody responded, she high fived herself nonchalantly. "None of you appreciate my humor," she grumbled.

The taxi hummed along and sidewalks passed in a blur. Soon, it pulled up to a large stone building. Sonny got out, marching up the stairs. He rang the doorbell ceremoniously. A window several stories above creaked open, and Sonny smiled. "Hi, I thought I could come collect those olives," he said loudly, holding up the blue french horn.

Rosa smiled. "I'll be right down." She disappeared from the window.

Moments later, she appeared at the door, she stepped aside and ushered Sonny inside. She led him up to his apartment, pouring him a glass of scotch. Sonny grinned mischievously. He sipped the scotch leisurely. "Are you trying to get me drunk?" he asked lowly, Staten Island accent dripping from his voice.

Rosa took the glass from his hands and pressed a button on her stereo. She placed her hands on his neck and drew him closer. "For starters," she whispered.

The two shifted back and forth slowly, Sonny's hands on the small of Rosa's back. A cat rubbed against his leg and Sonny chuckled. Rosa looked at him flirtatiously. "I think I like your Olive Theory," she whispered, playing with the hair on the back of Sonny's neck.

Sonny smiled softly. "I think I like your blue french horn."

"I think I like your eyes."

Sonny was inches away from her face, and he couldn't resist. "I think I'm in love with you."

YEAR 2036

"Oh daddy, why?" the young brunette next to Michael exclaimed.

Michael nudged her. "Lily, cut it out. I'm sure dad has some explanation for...whatever just happened."

"But that's not papa, because she's a girl," a younger girl supplied. She was leaning against Michael's legs.

Sonny chuckled. "You're right Cobie, that wasn't your father. But it's a very integral part to the story of how I met your father, so keep listening kids."

The second boy on the couch, Kyle, let his head fall back and groaned loudly. "Dad this story is going on for eternity."

Sonny smiled. "I'm just getting started."

YEAR 2011

Sonny winced. "Uh huh. So uh. Orlando? You gonna hit up Disney World? My nieces love-"

Rosa's smile faded quickly and she stiffened, stepping away from Sonny with disgust. "You love me?" she interjected incredulously.

"I'm so sorry. Why did I say that? Who the hell says that?" Sonny moaned, hitting himself in the forehead. "I should go," he said sheepishly, draping his coat over his shoulder and heading towards the door.

Rosa laughed softly. She handed him a jar of olives. "I uh. I promised you these."

"Thanks, I love you," Sonny said breathlessly. "Goddamn it, what's wrong with me?"

Rosa walked Sonny back down to the door of her apartment complex. "Hey uhm, when you're telling this story to your friends- could you avoid calling me a psycho? I prefer...eccentric"

Rosa gave Sonny half a smile. "Goodnight, psycho."

Sonny feigned offense before he began walking away. He stopped, halfway down the block before turning back to Rosa. "You know what? I'm done being single. I'm not good at it. Look, obviously you can't tell a woman you just met you love her. But... it sucks that you can't. I'll tell you something though, if a woman-not you... just some hypothetical woman-were to bare with me through all this. I think I'd make a damn good husband. Because that's the stuff I'd be good at. Stuff like making her laugh and being a good father... and petting her five hypothetical cats. Being a good kisser," he proclaimed loudly.

Rosa looked at Sonny pitifully, a small smile falling on full lips. "Everyone thinks they're a good kisser."

Sonny pointed at himself proudly. "Oh. I've got references."

Rosa extended her hand. "Good night, Sonny. That's uh, a pretty nice handshake."

Sonny exhaled slowly. He could practically count the eyelashes on Rosa's face.

"And I"ll probably never see her again!" Sonny exclaimed, sipping his beer casually.

Jake punched Sonny in the arm. "You idiot, Dominick! That was the signal!"

Sonny sat up, rubbing his arm. "That was not the signal!" he said indignantly.

Amanda snorted. "There is no such thing as the signal! But yeah, that was totally the signal and you blew it."

"You know what," Sonny said decisively, slamming his beer down onto the booth table. "You guys weren't there! You couldn't possibly know."

YEAR 2036

"You know kids. I asked her years later, and yeah, that was the signal. I really could have kissed her. But that's the funny thing about destiny, kids. it happens whether you plan it or not. I mean I thought I would never see that girl again, but it turns out I was just too close to the puzzle to see the picture it was forming," Sonny said, staring off wistfully. "And that, kids, is how I met your aunt Rosa."

The older girl, Lily shot up in her seat. "Aunt Rosa?" she exclaimed.

Sonny chuckled. His children started an uproar of protest and he shushed them. "It's a long story kids, and I'm just getting started. Now where was I?"

Kyle scoffed loudly. "You were telling us, in painstakingly excruciating detail, how you met dad."

Sonny snapped his fingers in remembrance. "Oh right! So! I met this girl- your Aunt Rosa. And I was madly in love with her. I had never felt that way before about anyone. She was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen in my whole life. In some way, I've never stopped loving her."

Michael grimaced. "So you're still in love with Aunt Rosa?" he asked disgustedly.

"As a friend, yes," Sonny said firmly. "But anyways, I met her, told her I loved her, which was a huge mistake. A week went by and-"

YEAR 2011

"I'm not going to call her," Sonny declared loudly, setting his beer down on the table.

Jake snorted. "You went from being totally in love with this girl to 'I'm not going to call her.' Sonny you need to make up your mind."

"I wasn't in love with her, okay? I was briefly in love with the abstract idea of getting married! That had absolutely nothing to do with-" Sonny stopped in his tracks. Rosa had been sitting in their booth, across from Amy, and the two were chatting amicably. "Hi Rosa!" Sonny said, almost too cheerfully.

"Look who I ran into," Amy exclaimed, gesturing to Rosa.

"Since when do you two know each other?" Sonny inquired.

Rosa pointed to her glass. "Since about here. Amy recognized me from the news and-" Rosa stopped abruptly when Jake began kissing Amy passionately.

Sonny chuckled. "They just got engaged."

An understanding nod came from Rosa, who gulped down the last of her drink before standing and grabbing her purse. She waved at Jake and Amy. "It was nice meeting you guys, and it was great seeing you again, Sonny."

Sonny grinned and raised his hand nonchalantly. His eyes followed Rosa out the door, and once she was out of view, he cursed under his breath. "Damn it. I'm in love with her."

Amy made a noncommittal squeaking noise. Sonny's eyes narrowed. "Ames. You squeaked?" he inquired. "You talked about me!"

Fifteen minutes earlier, Rosa and Amy were sitting at the bar chatting casually. "So, what do we think of Sonny?" Amy asked eagerly.

Rosa sighed with a smile. "He definitely comes on a little strong," she commented.

"But that's part of his charm," Amy protested.

"Oh, totally. I mean, he's sweet, he's charming, he's just looking for something a little bit more serious than I am. I mean the most I can handle right now is something casual. This just stays between us, right?"

Amy nodded, zipping her lips. "I promise."

She shrugged sheepishly. "Oops."

Sonny nodded slowly. "She wants casual. Okay, I'll be casual. I'm gonna be a mushroom cloud of casual. You know why? Cause it's a game! I wanted to skip to the end and do the "happily ever after" thing but you don't get there unless you play the game."

Jake paused, sipping his beer. "So...you're going to ask her out?" he asked casually.

Sonny shook his head. "No, because then I'd be asking her out. I have to find a way to ask her out without really asking her out."

The men stewed in silence for several minutes. "Did you guys stroke out?" Amy asked in amusement. Her fiance's face was scrunched up in concentration.

YEAR 2036

"I threw Aunt Rosa three consecutive parties in a valiant and very romantic attempt to get her to give me the time of day," Sonny said wistfully.

Michael snorted loudly. "Dad, that's really kind of lame."

Sonny shrugged with a smile. "I was young, in love, and very very stupid."

"Did Aunt Rosa blow you off on purpose?" Lily inquired, interest furrowing her brow.

Sonny chuckled, shaking his head. "No, her work was just very important to her. It still is! But three time's the charm. After the third party, I got Aunt Rosa to go up to the roof with me."

"The roof?" Kyle asked.

Sonny nodded at his son. "Yeah kids, the roof. Oh, the moon, the stars, the shimmering skyline. You can't not fall in love on that roof."

Cobie leaned in, eyes wide. "Oh daddy, did aunt Rosa break your heart?"

Sonny leaned back in his chair. "Let me just finish the story kids, you'll see."

YEAR 2011

Jake huffed and turned to Sonny. "Dude, I have a double shift tomorrow. You can't throw this girl three consecutive parties. It's super lame."

People were gathered in the apartment living room, mingling at a very slow rate. Sonny brushed off Jake's comment. "Lame...or casual?" he asked, arching his eyebrows

Jake smacked his friend on the shoulder. "It's lame. And I need to get some sleep. Ever since Amy and I got engaged, she's been, well, super horny."

Sonny made a face. "I didn't need to know that man."

Jake rolled his eyes. "Sonny! I'm jeopardizing my career as a detective so that you can throw not one, not two, but three parties for some girl that you just met who's probably not gonna show up. I mean where is she, huh? Where's Rosa?" Jake exclaimed angrily. He turned around and came toe to toe with Rosa. "Hi! Hi Rosa," he said in a false cherry tone.

Rosa exhaled loudly, pulling herself up the fire escape ladder and onto the roof. She followed Sonny, who was wringing his hands anxiously. "So this party. It didn't really last 3 days because it was super wild?"

Sonny ran his fingers through his hair. "Uh. No. I threw them all for you. Look, I know there's something here, unless I'm crazy."

Rosa sighed heavily. "No, you're not crazy. But Sonny, look, we barely know each other and you look at me with this look and it's like-"

"Like what?" Sonny interjected, stepping closer.

"Let's fall in love, get married, have kids, and drive them to soccer practice!" She said.

"I'm not going to force sports on them unless they're interested." Sonny said, holding up his hand.

Rosa laughed, smiling at Sonny pitifully. "It's a great look, Sonny. You're just looking at the wrong girl."

Sonny shook his head vehemently. "No, I'm not," he insisted.

Rosa nodded emphatically. "Yes, you are. I don't wanna get married right now, maybe ever and if we got together I'd feel like I'd either have to marry you or break your heart and-I just couldn't do either of those things. Just like you can't turn off the way you feel."

Sonny smiled. "I can, and I will."

Rosa laughed softly. "No, you can't."

"Yes I can."

Sonny pulled her into a kiss, and her lips lingered over his after they separated. Sonny groaned. "There is no off switch. God I wish there were an off switch."

"Me too," Rosa said kindly.

"Can we still be friends?" Sonny offered sheepishly.

"I would love that," Rosa replied.

"Why don't we take the gang down to the bar for a beer?" Sonny suggested hopefully.

Rosa patted Sonny on the back. "That sounds like a great idea."

The group reconvened at the bar, and Amanda looked at Gina critically. "I don't get it. What does Gina have that I don't?"

"A date tonight," Rosa deadpanned.

Amy howled in amusement. Amanda flushed and looked at Rosa angrily. "I'm not sure I like this girl," she said hotly.

Several weeks passed by without incidence, or professions of love by Sonny. One night, Amanda even took him to lick the Liberty Bell. But nothing significant happened until mid-September. Sonny had been making a bagel in the apartment kitchen before walking out, Amy gasped. "Sonny your shirt?"

Sonny looked down, panicked. "What?"

"Someone spilled gorgeous all over it," she replied smugly.

Sonny grinned proudly. "I found this shirt in the back of my closet! It's like three years old. I never really liked it, but now, I love it!"

He picked up a glass resting on the coffee table. Sipping it, he groaned happily. "Ugh, who's bourbon was this?" he asked, holding up the glass.

"I think one of Jake's detective friends left it last night," Amy commented.

Sonny hummed approvingly. "But you see-I could have sworn I hated bourbon. First the shirt, now bourbon. I spent twenty-seven years making up my mind about things, right? Maybe it's time to start forming some second impressions," he trailed off, lost in thought.

"Booger," Amanda declared, locking eyes with Rosa.

"Yes, hello Amanda," Sonny said sarcastically.

Rosa snorted. "Amanda's trying to get me to say something on the news. She offered me 50 bucks," she explained.

Amanda snorted. "It's not some stupid word. It's booger."

Rosa talked over Amanda loudly. "But I'm not going to do it, because I'm a journalist and I'm extremely professional."

"Journalist? You do the fluff pieces at the end of the news," Amanda protested.

"I'm not jeopardizing my career by saying booger on the news," Rosa insisted.

"Of course not, because now you're saying "Nipple" and it's a hundred!" Amanda exclaimed in revelation.

"And anyways, maybe one of the girls I dated- maybe they're the one but I was too immature to realize it," Sonny continued casually.

Amanda cut in abruptly. "Hold on. There are only two reasons to date a girl you've already dated. Breast. Implants."

Amy sighed in reminiscence. "Let's see, Sonny's greatest hits. What about Steph?"

"No. Not Steph. She worked in the porn industry, which is all fine by me, but I'm pretty sure there's a porno of us floating around the dark net."

"What about Jack?"

"I'm pretty sure he committed manslaughter with his driving at one point," Sonny deadpanned.

Amy huffed impatiently. "What about Nathaniel?" she offered.

Sonny thought back, a smile gracing his face. "Nate. Nate was amazing. I have so many great memories of him."

"Who's Nathaniel?" Rosa asked, interested.

"Nate was a boy I date fresh out of the academy," Sonny explained. "He uh, loved collecting baseball cards, and always had this pine cologne. He listened to this song by Belle and Sebastian over ad over again."

"Why'd you break up?" Rosa asked, intrigued.

"I just wasn't looking for a big commitment at the time, of course now a big commitment doesn't seem so bad... maybe I should call her? What do you guys think?"

Amy and Jake nodded in acquiescence. Amanda whined, "I can't believe you dated a porn star."

Later that day, Rosa burst into the bar and collapsed in a booth. "I said 'nipple' on live television," she said breathlessly, pinching the bridge of her nose. "I cannot believe I said 'nipple' on live television!"

"At least it's better than booger," Amy said with a smirk.

Amanda entered the bar, strutting proudly. "Hey! Is it kind of cold in here? Because I can see Rosa's nickels. Anyway, your next challenge is..."

"There isn't going to be another challenge," Rosa said flatly.

"Oh, search your soul, Rosa. You and I both know this wasn't about the money. Sure, Metro News One pays you jack and hey, a little green salad on the side's good for you, me and Mr. McGee," Amanda countered.

Amy snorted. "Who the hell talks like that?"

"Well what baby really likes, is the thrill of pulling one over on those bean counters, who under appreciate you and still haven't promoted you. And for two more hundy-sticks, baby's going to look in the camera and say this," Amanda leaned in, whispering into Rosa's ear.

"Ewww," Amy said loudly. "What? I'm just assuming."

Rosa sighed and stood up. "I've gotta get back to work," she turned to Amanda and patted her shoulder. "Baby's gonna think about it."

Sonny strode in, brandishing a small slip of paper. "I found it!" he declared. "I found Nate's number. I'm going to call him, I wonder if he remembers me?"

Sonny dialed the number. "Hi! Nate, it's Sonny Carisi," he said.

"Go to hell," the voice on the other line said curtly.

Sonny shut his phone in confusion. "Well, he remembers me," he said sheepishly.

"Why'd she hang up on you?" Amy inquired curiously.

"I don't know!" Sonny exclaimed.

"Well you must have done something. Why did you two break up?" Amy asked.

"He wasn't ready for a big commitment," Jake supplied.

"And his birthday may have been coming up," Sonny said slowly.

Amy raised her eyebrows. "Uh huh," she said, eyes narrowing.

"Well I didn't want to get a boyfriend level gift for a boy I was going to dump," Sonny protested.

"So you dumped a boy right before his birthday?"

Sonny winced. "Uh. I left a message. On his answering machine. On his birthday,"

Amy sprung towards Sonny, hitting him repeatedly. "How could you break up with someone on their birthday?" she cried. "On their answering machine! That's a terrible way to break up with someone."

Jake snorted. "Yeah dude, email."

Amy rounded on Jake angrily. "Not the point I was going to make, Jacob."

"Okay, in Sonny's defense. Is there a way to break up with somebody that doesn't suck? No. Personally I'd rather hear the bad news on an answering machine than face the humiliation in person," Jake retorted.

Amy glared at the boys, pulling out her cellphone and dialing quickly. "Who are you calling?" Jake asked.

Amy smiled. "Hi, Jake. It's Amy. We're not going have sex for at least a month. But you're awesome. Okay bye-bye," she said, voice laced with fake sweetness.

"You should've done it in person," Amanda commented. "Don't-leave-me sex is amazing. Anyways, guys, let's watch the news, I have a feeling it's going to be interesting."

Amanda pressed the power button on the remote and Rosa flickered on screen. "An occasion that was supposed to be joyous suddenly turned tragic when Ethel and Sadie Marsolis, New York's oldest twins, suddenly passed away on this, the eve of their one hundredth birthday. I'm a dirty, dirty girl," Rosa smacked her butt. "Ow. Reporting live from Metro News One, I'm Rosa Diaz."

Amanda shouted gleefully.

Later that day, Sonny made his way to Nate's apartment. Carrying several baseball cards in his hand, Sonny inhaled sharply before rapping on the door. He heard the lock turn, and Sonny took a step backwards. A young handsome an with wavy blonde hair stuck his head out. He saw Sonny, grimaced, and siad. "Go away," before slamming the door soundly.

Sonny flushed. "Oh come on, I only came down to say I was sorry! You wouldn't take any of my calls," he protested.

"I have an idea, why don't you leave a message?" Nate said with snark.

"Fine. I just, I'll just leave these baseball cards here then," Sonny replied.

The door creaked open again, and Nate looked at him suspiciously. "Look. I know you're mad. Happy birthday, three years ago."

Nate bit his lip and widened the door. "Up yours, three years ago," he grumbled, but allowing Sonny to pass into his apartment.

"I'm sorry. I know how much it sucked to leave that message," Sonny apologized profusely.

Nate rolled his eyes. "No, you really don't. It was a message on my answering machine in the middle of my surprise party, Sonny."

Sonny's face scrunched up. "There was a surprise party? Damn it! Anyways, I was such a stupid kid back then, terrified of commitment."

Nate snorted. "And now you're totally different? Ready to settle down and get married?"

Sonny smiled sheepishly. "Uh, actually. Yeah. The point is, why don't we get coffee sometime?"

Nate's eyes narrowed. "You think I have no self respect?"

"Self respect is overrated," Sonny retorted, handing over the baseball cards.

Nate smiled at him.

YEAR 2036

"But that's not papa, right?" Cobie piped up, snaking her arms around Michael's legs.

Michael grumbled. "Watch the grip, squirt."

"Well, I mean, it could be papa, right? You wouldn't break that boy's heart again, would you daddy?" Lily asked, looking at Sonny suspiciously.

Sonny scratched his neck nervously. "Kids, I was a much different person back then. I did some stupid things. Re-returning to Nate, was one of them. Several weeks passed and it looked like things were on track."

YEAR 2011

"Well, I have Krav Maga in an hour," Nate said, smiling at Sonny fondly.

Sonny kissed him and watched him walk out of the bar. "Nate is great," Jake said fondly. "Best person you've dated in years."

"Hold onto that one," Amy said smiling.

Sonny rapped his knuckles on the table nervously. "I have to break up with him," he blurted out.

Amy lunged forward, slapping Sonny, shrieking "Why couldn't you leave that poor boy alone?"

"I know! I hate this. These past three weeks have been great. I should be in love, but I'm not feeling that thing. It's ineffable."

Jake nodded approvingly. "Ineffable. Nice word. So how are you going to do it?"

"He's probably on the subway by now. You could call him. Voice Mail. Beep, dumped. Click. Done!" Amanda quipped.

Sonny scoffed. "No. I'm going to do it face to face. And I'm going to tell her the truth- he's not the one!"

YEAR 2036

"Kids. I got the crap kicked out of me that night. Krav Maga is a martial art, and you should never break up with a person on their birthday. Twice. Or compare being with you to the lottery. Because that only makes them angrier," Sonny declared.

Michael snorted. "Dad, it kind of serves you right. That was a douche move."

Sonny's eyes narrowed. "Language, Michael Ellis. But you were right, I was kind of a douche. But to redirect the attention from my bad behavior, did I ever tell you that once, Aunt Rosa fell into horse crap on live television?"

Kyle leaned in. "Really? Do you have footage?"

Sonny smiled reminiscently. "Probably somewhere, I can show you after the story. And that's how it ended with Nathaniel. No happily ever after. Just a whole lot of hurt. And just like that all those wonderful memories were replaced. By the memory of him kicking the stuffing out of me."

"There's more?" Kyle asked in disbelief.

"You know how Aunt Rosa's a big fan of Halloween, always dressing up in crazy costumes? Well, she wasn't always that way. Back in 2005, she thought she was too cool for Halloween, unlike Aunt Amy and Uncle Jake," Sonny said.

YEAR 2011

"Awww, you guys are matching," Rosa crooned, observing as Amy and Jake posed.

"You know what I love about Halloween? It's the one night of the year chicks use to unleash their inner ho-bag. If a girl dresses up as she a witch, she's a slutty witch. If she's a cat, she's a slutty cat. If she's a nurse-"

"Wow, we get it," Amy interjected.

"She's a slutty nurse! Anyways, every year, Amy and Jake go all out and get coordinating costumes. It's lame as hell," Amanda said, picking at the hem of her blouse. "What are you doing for Halloween, Rosa?"

"I'm probably just going to hang out with Marcus," she said casually.

Amy practically shot out of her seat. "Marcus? Who's that?"

"Just this guy I've been seeing. We aren't quite ready to go public yet," Rosa said.

Amanda snorted. "That means he's married."

Rosa ignored her, turning to Sonny. "So what do you have planned for tonight, Sonny?"

A collective groan reverberated throughout the room. Rosa raised an eyebrow. "What? What did I say?"

"Every Halloween, Sonny waits for the Slutty Pumpkin," Amy explained.

"What's the Slutty Pumpkin?" Rosa asked, intrigued.

"Not what. Who. Four years ago, I was on the rooftop at the Halloween party they always have, when I met a girl in the sexiest pumpkin costume I've ever seen. It was carved in very strategic places," Sonny explained quickly when Rosa opened her mouth. "Anyways, she and I hit it off. She mixes Kahlua and Rootbeer and calls it a-"

"Tootsie Roll. Because it tasted like alcoholic Tootsie Rolls," Jake intervened flatly.

"Oi, let me tell it," Sonny said indignantly. He cleared his throat before continuing. "Anyways, I got her number but I lost it when my pants went through the laundry. Never found her number, never saw her again. But every year they have a Halloween party up on the roof so that's where I'll be."

"You know, Sonny, it's been four years. She could be engaged or married," Amanda commented, sipping her scotch.

"I don't know, I got a feeling. This could be the year. Halloween is a night of wonder and magic," Sonny said dreamily.

Everyone groaned loudly. "OK, bring the mockery. Fine, I can take it. Come on, wouldn't it be the coolest story ever if the Slutty Pumpkin turned out to be my future wife?" Sonny inquired.

Amy snorted. "On that off chance, we should probably stop calling her the slutty pumpkin. What are you going as? Oh god, like I have to ask."

Sonny picked up a sandwich board from underneath their booth. "I'm going as a hanging chad because that's how the Slutty Pumpkin saw me for the first time. She thought it was hilarious."

"Yeah but that's four years ago. Nobody remembers what a hanging chad is nowadays."

"What a sad commentary on our national attention span that we could forget such a turbulent time in our political history," Jake added nonchalantly.

Amanda rolled her eyes. "Sonny, this year you are hanging with me. Screw the rooftop because I crap you not. I'm getting us into the Victoria's Secret Halloween party. Trust me, by the end of the night, your chad will not be hanging."

"We can get rejected by supermodels any night of the year," Sonny scoffed. "Tonight, I'm going up to the roof, I'm gonna have a few beers, I'm gonna wait for the Slutty Pumpkin. That's just what I do."

Amanda held up her hands like she was weighing a decision. "Hm. Victoria's Secret models prancing around in bras and panties, or Yale preppies reuniting their stupid acapella group. What's that left hand? Right hand sucks?"

Sonny smirked. "I'm heading up to the roof, I'll talk to you guys later."

The night passed slowly and Sonny remained patient, sitting on the rooftop awaiting the Slutty Pumpkin. Amanda, Jake, and Amy all popped in at some point to say hello, but none of them stayed for very long. The night was drawing to a close around 3AM, when Sonny was left alone on the roof. He was staring at the sky when a clatter of the ladder rungs filled the air. He turned around to watch Rosa heave herself onto the roof. "Hey," Sonny said with a small smile.

"I never played team sports," Rosa said warily.

Sonny looked confused. "Are we playing 'never have I ever' because there's only peach schnapps left."

"I played tennis in high school. You know why? Because it was just me out there. I couldn't even stand playing doubles. I just got dumped," she replied with a half smile.

"Oh I'm sorry, that sucks," Sonny said sympathetically.

Rosa sighed. "Yeah, it's OK. I wasn't that into him. Story of my life. Everyone else is all falling in love and acting stupid and goofy and sweet and insane, but not me. Why don't I want that more? I want to want that. Am I wired wrong or something?"

Sonny scoffed. "Of course not. I mean. You didn't want me so you obviously have abysmal taste in men. But you're not wired wrong."

" What if I'm just a cold person? Marcus was willing to look like a complete idiot for me. Why couldn't I do the same?"

"Because you haven't met the right person yet. One day, you'll meet someone who will make you want to look like a complete idiot. He's out there. Just like the Slutty Pumpkin," Sonny said reassuringly.

"How do you do this, Sonny? How do you sit out here all night on the roof in the cold and still have faith your pumpkin's gonna show up?" Rosa asked incredulously.

"Well, I'm pretty drunk. Look, I know that odds are the love of my life isn't going to magically walk through that door in a pumpkin costume at 2:43 in the morning but it seems as nice a spot as any to just, you know, sit and wait," Sonny said, smiling kindly.

YEAR 2036

"I met her, eventually kids, but it wasn't until later down the road. But that year, 2011, I tried a lot of crazy things in an attempt to meet 'the one.' Including online dating," Sonny said.

Kyle chuckled. "Online dating is kind of cheesy dad," he commented.

"Oh it definitely was, but your Aunt Amanda was the one who tricked me into it," Sonny replied.

"Aunt Amanda?" Lily asked in disbelief.

"Aunt Amanda did some crazy stuff back in the day. But anyways, I tried online dating, and it failed miserably. What I learned from that, is, that love is not a science," Sonny continued. "Also, kids, there are many buildings in New York City. Thousands of apartments. Millions of stories. And even though it's been decades and someone else lives there now, there's one apartment in particular that will always be our apartment. I have so many great memories of that place. Jake playing video games. Amy painting on the fire escape. And me making the coffee. I had this coffeepot that was probably 50 years old at that time, and it made truly terrible coffee. We called it Shocky. Anyways, kids. This was before Amy and Jake got married, and Aunt Amy still had her own place."

"I thought she lived with you guys?" Cobie asked.

"She had her own place in Queens. But in 2011, Jake had asked her to move in with us. This actually caused us to confront several issues we had been putting off for a while. You see, Uncle Jake and I had been avoiding this one singular topic."

YEAR 2011

"So who gets the apartment once Amy and Jake get married?" Rosa asked conversationally.

"Uh," Sonny winced. "We put off that conversation for a while."

"Really?" Amanda asked. "Amy's going to start edging you out if you're not careful," she said.

Sonny scoffed. "She will not!"

The next morning, Sonny sipped from his coffee, exhaling peacefully. "Good God this coffee is amazing," he muttered. "Wait. It's too good."

Sonny turned around to see a shiny new Keurig and a garbage pail with Shocky's cord sticking out of it.

"They're totally edging me out," he complained to Amanda and Rosa at the bar.

Rosa snorted. "Yeah, she bought you a nice new coffee maker, how dare she," she said sarcastically.

"It's not just that. This afternoon, Jake wanted to hang one of Amy's paintings right over the fireplace!" Sonny exclaimed.

Rosa shrugged. "What's wrong with that?"

"That's where Jake and I hang the swords we got our junior year of college. Can you believe he wants to take the swords down?"

"Sonny. He's your best friend, just talk to him," Rosa said, exasperated.

"Healthy communication? That's the worst idea ever. Look, you held off their first advance. That's good. Now it's time to counter-strike. Mark your territory! And not by missing the toilet," Amanda said scathingly. She looked at the entrance quickly. "Katie's here. OK, real quick, last night, epiphany! I realized what the world of dating needs. Ready? A lemon law."

"Like for cars?" Rosa asked.

"Exactly. From the moment the date begins you have five minutes to decide whether you're going to commit to an entire evening. And if you don't, it's no hard feelings just good night, thanks for playing, see you never. Huh? Huh? The lemon law, it's gonna be a thing, possibly starting right now," Amanda said hurriedly, rushing to talk to the girl who just entered the bar.

Later that day, Sonny confronted Jake abruptly. "All right Jake, we're deciding right now who gets this apartment. It may lead to an argument, but we're settling this. Do you have a coin I can flip?"

Jake fished a quarter out of his pocket. "I call tails," he announced, locking eyes with Sonny.

"I'm flipping. But before I do, I just wanna say something. You didn't even wanna move in here in the first place. You said a pre-war building was bad for your allergies," Sonny said.

"That was five years ago. Now you can get prescription-level antihistamines over the counter. Oh snap. What else you got? You don't need two rooms," Jake said heatedly.

"Like you need two rooms?" Sonny replied hotly.

"We might be starting a family soon," Jake said smufly.

"Oh, no you're not. There's no way you're having a baby this soon. You just earned your detective badge. It's gonna be at least three years," Sonny said.

"It could be sooner, we're not that careful with our birth control Two-zip."

"Oh, come on, you know damn well I move out that room's going unused," Sonny shouted.

"Oh, and I suppose you'll get a new roommate? Who's it gonna be? Amanda? You know she cooks naked," Jake snarled.

"Yeah, well, at least Amanda wouldn't take the swords down," Sonny yelled, taking a sword off the mantle. Jake picked up the other one and brandished it threateningly. "We were bros! These swords represent our bro-hood. And you took 'em down to make room for your fiance's stupid painting?" Sonny asked angrily.

Jake snorted, gesturing air quotes. "My fiancé...suddenly, she's my fiancé. Amy's a part of who I am. And if you're such a bro, she's a part of who you are too. She's a bro by extension."

"I deserve this apartment, Jake," Sonny howled, tapping his sword against Jake's.

"No more than I do," Jake said, returning the gesture.

Sonny slashed his sword in the air, and began fencing clumsily with Jake. "So, is this how we're deciding who gets the apartment?" he grunted.

"I guess so," Jake replied.

"How are we doing this exactly? Is this like to the death? We should probably figure that out," Sonny said as the two parried and thrusted. "Can I observe something?" he panted.

"That this is kinda awesome?"

"Totally."

Jake laughed. "I can't believe we didn't do this before."

"Here's why I should get the place. You and Amy, you get to be married. What do I get, right? I get to be unmarried, alone, minus two roommates. And on top of that I could be homeless. Does that seem fair?" Sonny complained.

"Oh, boo-freakin-hoo. Woe is me. I'm not married yet. My ovaries are shrinking. Sonny, if you wanted to be married by now you would be but you're not. And you know why? Because you're irrationally picky. You're easily distracted and you're utterly anhedonic." Jake said.

"Anhedonic?"

"Anhedonic. It means you can't enjoy anything," Jake explained, fending off a thrust Sonny made.

"The hell I can't. I'm enjoying this."

"I know, this rules," Jake chuckles as they continue to sword fight. "I'm sorry I took down the swords, but it did lead to this awesome sword fight. You remember when we first got these swords?"

"It was the day we moved in. We live in an apartment with swords on the wall," Sonny said fondly. "List of lifelong dreams, you're not half as long."

Jake charged at Sonny, who quickly dodged the attack. The apartment door opened and Amy's shrill scream filled the air.

Jake sat in the waiting room of the hospital. Sonny sat next to him, patting his shoulder consolingly. Jake buried his face in his hands. "I can't believe I stabbed Amy. I stabbed my fiance," he cried out mournfully.

Amanda snorted. "Do you really think she's still your fiance dude?"

Sonny chortled politely. "I think you guys should have the apartment," he concluded.

Jake smiled at him weakly. "You fought so bravely for it," he said.

"I wasn't fighting for the apartment. I was fighting for...I don't know...for everything to stay the way it is. But I'm not gonna get that, so, seriously, take the place, it's yours," Sonny said'.

Rosa ran in, heels clicking on the linoleum. "Is she ok?"

Jake smiled gratefully. "They're patching her up but she'll be fine."

A doctor walked into the waiting room. "She's all set. She said she'd like to see the knights of the poorly constructed round table, though," the doctor said, furrowing his brow in confusion.

Jake and Sonny walked in, heads down and tail between their legs. "A sword fight?" Amy asked scathingly. "I'm visiting my nieces and nephews tomorrow. I'm going to have to tell them that my fiance ran me through with a frickin' broad sword!"

"It didn't go all the way through," Jake protested meekly.

Amy turned on him, eyes dark with anger. "I'm sorry? Are we discussing the degree to which you stabbed me?" she exclaimed.

"We were fighting for the apartment," Jake mumbled. "And I won."

Before Sonny could protest, Amy held up her hand. "Wait wait wait wait wait. I don't want that apartment. It's a boy apartment. It's full of swords and videogames, and kinda smells like dude. It's fine for now, but when we get married, I wanna start a new life with you in a new place."

YEAR 2036

"So you and Uncle Jake fought over nothing, essentially?" Lily asked.

Sonny flushed. "Well, not nothing, but yeah it was pretty pointless."

"And you stabbed Aunt Amy?"

"Hey, it was your Uncle Jake who stabbed Aunt Amy, not me," Sonny protested.

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Aunt Amy is pretty amazing for putting up with all that nonsense."

Sonny smied fondly. "That she is kids, that she is. Now I remember a lot of stories from back in the days before I met your mother, but there's one story I don't remember. Uncle Jake still refers to it as the pineapple incident. The night started like any other, we were downstairs in the bar-"

"Dad, you spent a lot of time at the bar when you were younger," Michael interjected.

"It's just what you did back then!" Sonny said dismissively. "Anyways, the bartender, Gina, created this new shot that was so alcoholic if I drank them regularly, I'd have needed a liver transplant by the end of the week. So kids, always drink responsibly."

"You had so many of them you blacked out, huh?" Kyle asked.

"I was trying to distract myself. Aunt Rosa had this date with this...hundred millionaire. She was going to this fancy charity ball and I was nursing the heartache with Gina's 'Red Dragon.' It was mostly your Aunt Amanda's fault, she was egging me on," Sonny said defensively. "But really, the next thing I remember is waking up the following morning. And God I had so many questions: how did I sprain my ankle? How much did I drink? Why was there a pineapple on my bedside table? And who was this guy in my bed?"

YEAR 2011

Sonny woke up, a splitting pain dividing his brain. He winced and sat up. A pineapple sat on his bedside table, and he looked around in confusion. A tuft of dark hair was visible from a pile of blankets. Sonny held his head and stood up gingerly. A tweak in his ankle sent pain shooting through his leg. He hobbled out into the living room. Jake approached him slowly. "What the hell happened last night?" Sonny complained, hissing in pain.

"You really don't remember?" Jake said in amusement, before recounting all the details from the previous night.

Gina walked over to the table where Sonny was slumped over drunkenly. "Did you like the shots?" she asked.

Sonny laughed obnoxiously. "I loved them. I drank all five, bitch," he bragged.

Amy snickered. "I love drunk Sonny," she proclaimed.

Sonny turned to Gina. "Jake thinks you're a vampire," he whispered loudly.

Gina rolled her eyes, turning to the group. "If he throws up, you guys are cleaning it up," she said sternly.

"How quickly you all forget. I haven't puked since high school. I am vomit-free since ninety-three. Vomit free since ninety-three. That's funny. I'm funny," Sonny said, evidently pleased with himself.

He pulled his cellphone out of his pocket. "Who are you calling?" Amy asked.

"I'm calling Rosa," Sonny said petulantly.

Amy winced. "That's not a good idea," she muttered, but Sonny was already chatting animatedly.

"Hey, hey Rosa, did I ever tell you I've been vomit free since 93?" he boasted loudly.

"Listen, Sonny, I can't really talk right... '93? Dude, that's impressive," Rosa said on the other line.

"I don't say this enough, but you're a great woman, and a great reporter. You should be on 60 Minutes. You should be one of the minutes," Sonny slurred with a goofy grin.

Rosa chuckled. "That's sweet and odd. But I'm kinda on a date right now."

"Yeah, and I disagree with Amanda. Just 'cause this guy is spending a lot of money doesn't mean you have to put out. Take it slow, Rosa, take it slow. Slow. Slow," Sonny murmured, letting his arm fall to his side, phone still open.

Amy snatched the phone away from Sonny. "Wow, this is why we don't do shots," Jake muttered.

Amy pulled her arm back as Sonny clumsily grabbed for his phone. "Friends don't let friends drink and dial," she said insistently.

"I need my phone back," Sonny whined.

Amy laughed and held the phone away. "Not until after class," she said.

Amanda snorted and whisked the phone away from Amy. "Ding, class dismissed. Here you go, kid, you call whoever you want"

"Thank you kind lady. At least someone appreciates the fact that I'm doing and not thinking. And now I don't think I won't not go to the bathroom," Sonny said, stumbling out of his seat and walking shakily to the restroom

Sonny returned and the jukebox began playing Cheap Trick. With a crooked smile, Sonny jumped onto a table, singing along emphatically. "I love everyone in this bar," he shouted.

Jake smiled. "And we love you, drunk Sonny." He winced as Sonny toppled off of the table.

"Well, that explains the ankle," Sonny murmured.

"And then we brought you home and put you to bed," Amy finished.

"Was there anyone else in there with me? What the hell happened to my jacket?" Sonny moaned.

Jake peeked into Sonny's room before tiptoeing back to the living room. "There's a dude in your bed, Sonny. Is he alive?"

"I should call Amanda, maybe he knows what happened," Sonny said decisively.

He dialed Amanda's number, and a faint ringing could be heard from the bathroom. The trio rushed in to find Amanda lying in the bathtub, cradling a bottle of scotch. "Hello," Amanda said sleepily.

"How did you get in here anyway? We put Sonny to bed around one," Jake asked incredulously.

"Oh, you put Sonny to bed all right," Amanda snorted.

Jake and Amy heaved Sonny to his feet, supporting his weight and walking him slowly to his room. "You guys take care of me. You guys are the best. I love you guys so much," Sonny slurred.

Amanda slipped through the window. She grabbed Sonny and dragged him back down to the bar.

"I even set your jacket on fire," Amanda said wistfully.

"You set me on fire?" Sonny exclaimed.

"I hosed you down with the beverage gun and brought you back here," she replied dismissively.

Sonny pulled up his sleeve. In neat handwriting, and in permanent marker, someone had written, "Hi, I'm Sonny, if lost please call...Who's number is that?" Sonny asked, confused.

Sonny pulled out his phone again, dialing the number. "Hello?" a voice answered.

"Hi, who is this?" Sonny asked.

"It's Gina, from the bar," the voice on the phone replied.

The group clamored and stumbled down the stairs, entering the bar. "What the hell happened?" Sonny demanded.

Gina rolled her eyes.

Sonny stumbled into the apartment again, amused and absolutely wasted. "Amanda, you've always taken care of me. You are a gentleman and a scholar. Go into my stable and take my finest stallion. He's yours, his name is Windjammer."

Amanda laughed, helping Sonny into bed and covering him with a blanket. "Sleep it off buddy," she said fondly.

Sonny stumbled back into the bar, fifteen minutes ladder. "I'm back baby doll, and...I am going to throw up," he ran to the bathroom.

He returned, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. "Gina, did you know the word karaoke is Japanese for empty orchestra? Isn't that hauntingly beautiful? Are you a vampire?"

Gina chuckled. "I am cutting you off. Go home and get some sleep, Sonny."

"Hey, how easy do you think it'll be to sneak into the zoo? I have to see some penguins, like right now."

Gina smiled at Sonny. "Give me your arm," she demanded kindly.

Sonny outstretched his arm and Gina began writing on it. "This way, if you pass out in the gutter..." she murmured

"That tickles," Sonny giggled.

"Someone will call me and I will come get you," Gina finished.

Sonny gave her a lopsided smile. "Thanks Gina. We can't just be friends, we're attracted to each other and we both know it. Me and Rosa. I have to make one more call."

Sonny opened his cellphone with flourish. "Yeah, this'll go good," Gina muttered under her breath.

"Hey, it's me again. Look, who are we kidding? You and I are both attracted to each other. We're young, we're drunk, half of us anyway. And we only get one life, so shy don't you come over to my apartment and we'll think of something stupid to do together? Really? Great. Wait, really? Great," Sonny shut his phone, pleased with himself.

A voice spoke up from the entrance of the bar. "Not Rosa, whoever that is. My name is Timothy."

Timothy was tall, lean, and had dark hair that stuck up on ends. He smiled at Sonny bashfully.

"I'm just surprised you didn't dump him sooner," Tim's friend said dismissively.

"I know, it's two years of my life I'm never getting back. A little part of me just wants to jump the bones of the next guy I see," his eyes immediately drawn to Sonny, who was dancing clumsily on the table. "Look at that idiot go. He's kinda cute," he observed.

Later that night, Sonny stumbled into the restroom, confusion written in his features. "What am I doing here? Oh right, I came in here 'cause I thought I was gonna throw up," he said seriously.

Tim chuckled. "Did you?"

Sonny grinned proudly. "Nope. And the streak continues! Vomit free since '93!"

Tim smiled flirtatiously. "I liked your performance."

Sonny laughed obnoxiously. "What? The karaoke? Domo arigato."

"I wish I had your guts, getting up and making a complete idiot of myself. I just broke up with my boyfriend, and I could sure stand to do something stupid," Tim said warily.

"I'm something stupid, do me," Sonny said with a proud smile.

Tim laughed sincerely. "You're funny. Why don't you call me sometime?"

Sonny giggled as Tim scribbled down his number. "Why do they call it karaoke anyhow? Was it invented by a woman named Carrie Okie? These are the kinds of things I think about," he declared.

Tim handed over the napkin and smiled. "Karaoke is Japanese for empty orchestra."

"That's hauntingly beautiful," Sonny said seriously.

"It was me you called. So I came over here. And now I'm really, really embarrassed," Tim said, covering his face with his hands. "Also, you had the pineapple with you when I came over so I don't know where that came from. Look, Sonny, obviously you have some stuff to work out, and I don't think I want to know about it. It was nice meeting you," Tim hurried out the front door, snatching his coat on the way.

YEAR 2036

"I left Tim a message but he never called me back. That's just how life works sometimes. You turn off your brain for a night, and all you're left with is a bad hangover and a sprained ankle," Sonny said.

From the floor, Cobie asked a question. "Where did the pineapple come from daddy?"

"We never found out where that pineapple came from, but it was delicious," Sonny said reminiscently.

"Daddy, when do you meet papa?" Lily asked.

"Sooner than before," Sonny said wisely.

"That means he's no where near done," Michael muttered under his breath.

"I have a lot of good stories from my 20s," Sonny said defensively. "Like New Years Eve, 2011. I rented a limo and I went to three of the hottest parties of New York City. But that's, again, another story. This story continues at a wedding. You see kids, when you're single and your friends start to get married, every wedding invitation presents a strange moment of self-evaluation. Will you be bringing a guest or will you be attending alone? What it's really asking is where do you see yourself in three months? Sitting next to your significant other or hitting on members of the wedding party? I always checked that I was bringing a guest. I was an optimist," Sonny said. "Anyways, when our friends Amelia and Jill got married, it was January of 2012. Gay marriage had just been legalized the previous July. I asked your Aunt Rosa to be my date, and she said yes."

"Wow, you're kind of old dad," Kyle marveled.

Sonny's eyes narrowed. "You're grounded mister," he grumbled. "This is the story of a boy I met at the wedding."

YEAR 2012

Sonny was walking to the bakery when he spotted Amelia Anders. "Hey Amelia," he greeted cheerfully.

Amelia gave him a tight lipped smile. "Hi Sonny! How are you?"

"I'm good," Sonny said casually. "How are you?"

"Stressed beyond belief," Amelia said through gritted teeth. "My wedding is in two days."

"Don't worry," Sonny said kindly. "It's going to be amazing, I'm so excited."

Amelia laughed. "There are plenty of single guys and gals there for you, that's for sure."

"Well I mean. That would be nice if I weren't bringing a date," Sonny commented.

He almost ran when Amelia gave him a look that clearly conveyed murder. "You're not bringing a date, you checked no on your RSVP card."

"No," Sonny scoffed. "I checked yes. I always check yes."

"No, I'm pretty damned sure you checked no," Amelia shrieked.

"No, I already invited someone," Sonny whined.

"You are not bringing a date to my wedding because you absolutely did not check 'plus one'. If you had checked 'plus one', I would have called you to get the name of your guest so I could get the guest cards printed up. Did I call you to get the name of your guest? Is there a place card with her name card printed on it?" Amelia fired back, knuckles turning white as she clenched her fists.

"No," Sonny replied meekly.

Later that day, Sonny stomped into the bar grouchily. "I can't believe Amelia," he complained loudly. "I'm positive I checked 'plus one.'"

Amanda snorted. "Yeah, I don't think you did. You know why? Because deep down, you didn't want to show up at this thing with a date. See, for all your big talk about being ready for a relationship, deep down you're single. It's your default setting. Dom," Amanda said casually.

"Maybe if I just call Amelia and explain," Sonny mused.

Jake groaned. "Dude. Let it go. She's getting married, she's stressed out plenty."

Sonny held up a hand as he pulled his phone out. He dialed Jill's number. He explained himself to Jill hastily. Jill smiled. "Dude, no problem, the more the merrier. Besides, Amelia is just super stressed with the wedding. Earlier today she called our 7 year-old bridesmaid a whore. It's just the stress."

Sonny smiled, closing his phone after thanking Jill profusely. "Well I did it, I can bring Rosa," he said, grinning widely.

"What, how?" Jake demanded.

"I talked to Jill," Sonny replied.

"Oh, you went around the bride. "Oh, this hornet's nest looks harmless. Maybe I'll poke it with a stick. Oh, look, some gremlins, let me go feed them after midnight." Did you known about this?" Jake said sardonically.

Sonny waved his hand dismissively. "It'll be fine," he insisted.

The night of the wedding brewed trouble when Rosa got called away for work. Sonny sat at his table, sulking and full of guilt. Amelia and Jill glided by. "Where's your date, Sonny?" Amelia asked, smiling widely.

Sonny winced. "I uh, she ended up canceling," he said sheepishly.

Amelia looked at Jill and they laughed softly. "What?" Sonny asked, confused.

"Plan a wedding, Sonny, you'll see," Amelia said, patting Sonny on the back before wafting away in a shroud of white.

Amanda crashed into the chair next to Sonny. "OK, ah, doing some math here. Table six has got three bridesmaids, an eight, an eight and a seven. I am willing to give you one of the eight's, lowering myself to a fifteen, which means you owe me," she said, giving Sonny a look.

YEAR 2036

"So there we were, two single guys doing our usual single guy thing. For whatever reason, I had let myself believe that this night would be a turning point, that this was the night that my life, my real life, would finally begin. Funny thing is, I wasn't totally wrong. Because that night was just the beginning. And not just because that was the first time Aunt Rosa got to anchor for Metro News One" Sonny said. "Kids, in life there are a lot of big romantic moments, and they make life worth living. But here's the problem, moments pass, and lurking just around the corner from those moments is a cruel, unshaven bastard named reality."

"That's really dramatic, dad," Lily said.

"That's just how I am kids," Sonny chortled.

"Anyways, it was the night of Amelia and Jill's wedding, when I saw him."

YEAR 2012

Sonny wafted into the apartment dreamily. "Where the hell did you go last night?"Amy asked, amused.

"I had the most amazing night," Sonny declared.

Jake joined the two eagerly. "Tell me about it, that cake, best cake I ever had. Seriously. My stomach was like, hey bro, I don't know what you're eating 'cause I don't have any eyes but it's basically awesome so keep sending it down gullet alley. Oh but you were saying, Sonny?"

"Well I met this guy. He was amazingly handsome. He and I spent all night together. We spent the night making memories for the ages," Sonny said wistfully.

"What's his name?" Amy asked.

"We didn't tell each other names, phone numbers, or any other identifying information," Sonny said.

Jake snorted. "That's dumb," he said derisively. "What a weenie ass idea."

"He stole the bouquet and we ran away into the night," Sonny said with a fond smile.

Amy snickered. "Good on him. The bouquet tradition is rooted in evil."

Sonny raised his eyebrows, "So you're not doing it at your wedding then?" he asked.

"Oh, yeah, I'm gonna take that flower grenade and chuck it into the crowd and scream, crawl for it, bitches. It's just what girls do," Amy said noncommittally.

Sonny chortled. "Well, we spent all night together-"

"Did you kiss him?" Jake interjected.

"Well no. The best part of any kiss is the moment leading up to it, the drum roll per say, and we both agreed that we should stick to the drum roll," Sonny explained.

"So you chickened out, again?" Amy asked, a smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.

"I have to see him again," Sonny sighed. "His name was Elliot. I didn't get his last name because that would have violated our deal."

Jake rolled his eyes. "Why don't you just call Amelia and Jill and ask?" he suggested.

"That's a good idea," Sonny conceded. He pulled out his phone but Amy swatted it out of his hands.

"Sonny you don't mess with a honeymoon," she said sternly.

Sonny scoffed, swiping his phone back. "Hi Amelia! Beautiful wedding! How's the honeymoon? Listen, I was calling because I met a guy last night and I was wondering..."

Amelia's high pitched cackle interrupted him. "This is freaking' rich," she snorted. "24 hours ago, you were begging, begging me to bring some other girl to my wedding, and now, what, you're over her? What's his name?"

"His name is Elliot," Sonny replied.

"Well luckily for you I know that guest list from the inside out, and I can tell you there was no Elliot at the wedding. Bye Sonny."

Sonny hung up, dejectedly. "Amelia said there was no Elliot at the wedding."

"Ask her where she got the cake," Jake whined.

Amy's phone started vibrating. "Hey, yeah Rosa, I can meet you at the bar. You got promoted? A morning show? Well, if you can call 4 AM morning," she mouthed apologies at Jake and Sonny, hurrying out the door.

Several hours of phone calls and daisy chaining through contacts at a steady rate led Sonny to Rosa, who was sipping scotch casually in the bar.

"If you have feelings for Sonny, you should tell him," Amy insisted. "What the hell is wrong with you two? Just be together and be happy," she said, exasperatedly.

Rosa sighed. "No. I should just tell Sonny I know who Elliot is. Who am I to stand in the way of his happiness?"

Amy rolled her eyes, adjusting her posture when she spotted Sonny barging through the door. "Rosa," Sonny called out. "Amanda told me she saw you last night at the wedding- did you happen to see a guy there with a really cute smile and black dress shoes?" he demanded.

Rosa smiled into her drink. "Half the guys there wore black dress shoes, but I think I know who you're talking about. He was tall, with dark hair right?"

Sonny nodded eagerly. "He uhm. He was the baker, Sonny. He baked the cake," Rosa said.

Sonny clasped his hands together before unlocking his phone in excitement. Jake stumbled in behind him, goofy grin on his face. "Amelia. I'm so sorry, I just have one more question, where did you get your cake. Uh huh, yes, thanks so much."

Sonny hung up before peeling out of the room and hailing a cab. Jake clamored in after him and Sonny recited the address breathlessly. The cab buzzed with anticipation when they pulled up at the bakery. Sonny stumbled out the door of the cab and into the bakery. Locking eyes with a man behind the counter, he muttered "Thank God," before pulling him into a heated kiss.

YEAR 2036

"And that was father? Right? Right?" Michael pressed.

Sonny chuckled, shaking his head. "Patience, Michael. No this wasn't your father. But Elliot really was someone special.

"When do you meet papa?" Cobie sighed impatiently.

"Soon enough, doll" Sonny replied affectionately. "All of this is really crucial for when I meet your father- because all of this prepared me for meeting your father. If any of these links broke, the whole story would fall apart. Now. When you meet someone special, life is full of firsts. The first kiss, the first night together, the first weekend together. Elliot and I may have done all of this in the first 48 hours."

Kyle whistled lowly. "That's intense dad."

Sonny nodded emphatically. "Stuff was really intense between Elliot and I, right out of the gate. We decided to take it slow. We both ruined relationships by jumping in too fast."

"It was her idea?" Lily asked.

"Totally her idea," Sonny replied. "But I really liked him so, I was ready for the challenge."

YEAR 2012

"I can't believe he's got you waiting for a month. The only reason to wait a month is if the person is 17 years 11 months old," Amanda said casually.

Amy made a face. Rosa entered the bar and collapsed into the booth by Sonny. "Well I'm off for the night. Who's up for hanging out?" she announced.

Amy winced. "I can't, tonight's my 9 year anniversary with Jake," she said sympathetically.

Amanda raised her eyebrows. "Congratulations, your relationship is officially a fourth grader," she said sarcastically.

"And I've got a date with Elliot," Sonny said, standing.

Rosa sighed. "Looks like it's just you and me," she muttered to her martini.

Amanda scoffed. The night passed slowly, and Amanda felt boredom creep up on her. She spotted a brunette at the bar and tapped her on the shoulder. "Hundred bucks say that when you turn around, I say 'wow,'" she said lowly.

Rosa turned around, exasperated. "You can't keep accidentally hitting on me. This is the third time."

Amanda scrunched up her nose. "That's the risk of the blind approach! Normally I have Sonny to help scope out the girl beforehand, but he's off in some stupid relationship."

Rosa raised her eyebrow. "Just check out the girl in the bar mirror," she said.

Amanda's eyes widened. "That is super clever. I like the way you think, Diaz. Okay, limited-time offer: I need a "bro" for my bro-ings on about town. How would you like to be said bro?"

Rosa sighed dejectedly. "I guess so, I don't have anything better to do."

In the cab, Elliot and Sonny held hands in silence. "So... one more week and it'll be a month," Elliot said bashfully.

"Really? Are you sure? Wow, that snuck up on me," Sonny said, trying to play off his anticipation. "The 18th can't get here fast enough."

"Wait, the 18th? Oh, crap! I can't believe I forgot this... I'm going to be out of town on the 18th!" Elliot exclaimed in distress.

"Oh. Well, um, we can just... wait until you get back. I mean, the whole point was not to rush into this," Sonny said reluctantly.

"Yeah. Or we could do it tonight."

Sonny grinned.

That night, Amy and Jake decided to stay in rather than go on some large date for their anniversary. However, Sonny wasn't aware of this and barged into the apartment. Amy and Jake froze, mouths full of toothpaste. Sonny's voice was low and soft, "I'm so glad you have to go to your parents' next weekend," he said.

Amy winced and washed her mouth out quietly. "Oh my god, they think we went away," she whispered hotly to Jake.

"I'm so glad your roommates are out of town," Elliot replied.

Jake practically leapt for joy. "Oh, it is on for my boy," he said gleefully.

Amy groaned. "But now we have to hide out in here until they move into the bedroom. But I don't want to hide out in here."

Jake sighed. "Honey, Sonny has been going out of his mind waiting for this. If we go out there and spoil the mood, it's not going to happen. Then one of us is going to have to have sex with Sony, and... not going to be me," he explained.

Amy rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine," she grumbled

Amanda waited impatiently in the cigar bar before her eyes fell on the entrance. Rosa strolled in wearing a dark pants suit and stilettos. Amanda's eyes widened. "You suited up!" she exclaimed.

Rosa chuckled in amusement. "Well, I figured if I'm going to do this, I'm going to do this right."

Rosa turned to a waiter. "I'll have a Johnny Walker Blue, neat, and a Montecristo No. 2 Thanks," she said, smiling sincerely.

"Ah, the No. 2, a.k.a. The Torpedo," Amanda said wistfully.

"Or, as the rollers call it, "Piramide." My father was a cigar fanatic, it was the only way to get his attention," she explained hastily.

"Father issues. Hot," Amanda said, eyebrow raised.

Rosa smiled. "I know... I was this close to being a huge slut."

"Slut would have been better, but I'll settle for bro. Especially now that Sonny's with Elliot and can't drink. Because he's pregnant," Amanda said petulantly. "Cause he's the girl."

"Oh, come on, Sonny can't be pregnant. You need to have sex to get pregnant," Rosa said acerbically.

Amanda whooped, high fiving Rosa gleefully. Back at the apartment, Sonny was commenting on the fleeting nature of time. Amy gagged from the bathroom. "Ugh, that is bad. That is, like, high-school-literary-magazine bad," she said, making a face.

"And they're not even high," Jake added.

"I can't believe it's actually working, though," Amy said, begrudgingly impressed.

Jake hummed in approval. "Yeah, smooth but slowly. God, close the deal, already. It's been, like, 45 minutes... we could have had sex three times by now," he said bitterly, high-fiving Amy.

"Maybe we should just go out there," Jake offered. L

"No way! We can't go out there now. They'll know that we've been sitting in the bathroom the whole time. It'll be too weird," Amy pointed out.

The pair could hear Elliot exhale softly. "I want to know you. Like, know your soul. Sonny, what makes you cry?"

Amy stifled a laugh. "Honey, could you hold my hair back, I think I'm going to hurl," she said, turning to Jake. Her smile faded. "Oh my gosh. Honey. I have to pee."

Jake opened his mouth in a soft gasp. "We've gone 9 years without peeing in front of each other," he said hotly.

"Look at us. We're basically an old married couple, and we're not even married yet. The flame of our romance is flickering, and if I pee all over it, it might go out forever," Amy said wistfully.

"How long can you hold it?" Jake asked.

Amy just shook her head sadly. "Baby just go. Tons of people have peed in front of each other."

They quieted themselves quickly when Sonny's phone started to ring. "Sonny, so now that things with you and Elliot are going pretty well, I assume you're over all the people you were into before, right? I take your silence as a yes, so say I were to hook up with someone, say Rosa, you'd be cool with that, right?" Amanda asked quickly.

Sonny snorted. "Good luck with that."

Amanda hung up with flourish, turning to Rosa. "Sonny gave us his blessing," she said with a grin.

Rosa rolled her eyes. "That doesn't even make sense," she said.

"Well I have thought about it and it totally makes sense. We both hate commitment and we both think marriage sucks," Amanda said defensively.

Rosa scrunched up her nose. "So Sonny didn't care at all that you made a move on me?" she asked, trying to sound casual.

"Not at all- wait. You like Sonny," Amanda said smugly.

"What? I didn't say I liked Sonny. He's moved on and I'm really happy for him. You're not going to tell him are you?" Rosa asked sheepishly.

"No. That's the bro code. A bro doesn't tell a mutual bro that a third bro has a crush on him. Just like the third bro doesn't tell the mutual bro that the original bro went bare pickle in front of her. It's quid pro bro," Amanda said smugly.

YEAR 2036

"Oh Aunt Rosa loved you too," Cobie said dreamily.

Sonny chuckled. "Kids, the story still isn't over," he reminded them.

Michael let his head fall into his hands. "Dad. I'm going to miss high school graduation at this rate," he cried out.

Kyle snorted. "Cobie's going to miss her high school graduation at this rate," he quipped smugly.

"Yeah, Aunt Rosa was harboring some...unaddressed feelings for me. It all came down to game night at Uncle Jake's and Aunt Amy's, that's when things came to a boiling point. You see kids, Uncle Jake was unbeatable at games. Yahtzee, Poker, Gin, you name it. So eventually, we suggested that he manage game night, rather than play in it. This, he interpreted as create his own game. So one night, we all met up in the apartment to play Jake-opoly, a very complicated game that was an amalgam of board game favorites. Anyways, this was around the time I started introducing Elliot to my friends. And well, I had begged all of my friends to lay low."

Lily laughed, rolling her eyes. "No offense to Uncle Jake, Aunt Amy, Aunt Amanda, and Aunt Rosa, but they're not really good at concealing themselves. Remember when we brought home Cobie and we had to call the fire department?"

Sonny chuckled. "Yeah, we always told Amanda that her pyrotechnic magic tricks should only be done outside. She may have gotten carried away with excitement. Anyways. Game night. Jake had created his very own game and was using it to interrogate my boyfriend. We also, interestingly, learned how Aunt Amanda got to be...the way she was."

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Oh that I want to hear," she said.

Sonny smirked. "Well it all started when Aunt Amy came across one of Amanda's old romantic endeavors. Her name was Shannon. Basically, eight years before all that, Shannon ran away to be with an older man, and your Aunt Amanda, out of revenge, cleaned up, suited up, and plotted to get revenge on the man who had wronged her. But that part of the story is ahead of us. Oh lord we are no where close to being done," Sonny laughed lightly as his kids groaned collectively. "Anyways. Your Aunt Amanda pried every embarrassing story out of the individuals in the group. She was trying to get me to tell the story of how I re-returned. But I was very reluctant to let Elliot know that I was into Rosa. And eventually, she got me to. You see, the night I met your aunt Rosa, after she rejected me, I ended up at the bar with the cab driver, Hitchcock, your Aunt Amanda, and myself. I ended up back at your Aunt Rosa's place, ready to kiss her, when I...hurled on her doormat."

Michael sat up, eyes glinting with hurt. "But dad, I thought you were vomit free since '93?" he asked, shocked. "Was that all a lie?"

Sonny avoided his son's accusing glare. "Anyways. Elliot wasn't too pleased to find out that I was into your Aunt Rosa. We spend so much effort trying to keep parts of our lives hidden even from our closest friends. But those rare times when we do open up, it's amazing how minor those secrets all end up seeming. Of course, not every secret was told that night. But that's getting ahead of the story. Kids, when it comes to love, great relationships are the ones that come naturally. Things with Elliot were fun, easy, uncomplicated. It was great," Sonny said reminiscently.

YEAR 2012

Amanda walked into the apartment, humming jovially. Her face scrunched up in disgust when she found Jake, with suit pants and a pen. "What the hell are you doing? Are you coloring in your butt?"

Jake groaned. "I have a huge court case I'm testifying in tomorrow and my suit has some holes. I can't afford a new one so I'm stuck in this."

Amanda scoffed. "Tomorrow we're going to a tailor," she declared.

"Amanda. I have negative $300. And I need every negative penny for my wedding. I can't afford a tailor."

Amanda waved him off. "Consider it a favor," she said nonchalantly.

Jake's eyes widened, then narrowed in suspicion. "What do you want from me?" he asked.

Amanda merely smiled. Sonny burst into the door. "Guys. Elliot was offering a culinary fellowship in Germany," he said, despondently.

Jake's eyes widened. "You guys are gonna do long distance?" he asked in disbelief.

Sonny shook his head. "I want to ask him to stay," he said decisively.

Jake scoffed. "Remember that time Amy spent a semester in France? Well, she kept talking about this cheesy French guy, Gabriel. So, I went out to visit, and there was this party. And who shows up but Gabriel. And he's got this weak-ass, thin French mustache. I'm not much of a fighter, but I knew I could take this weird little dude. So, I took him aside, and I got all creepy quiet, I got the crazy eyes going, and I said, "You stay away from Amy, or I swear to God I'll eat that mustache right off of your ugly French face." Yeah. Yeah, he literally ran away. I think he was crying. I never told Amy about it. To be honest, I'm not very proud of it. To be even more honest, I am. Point is, Amy is my soulmate but long distance nearly killed us! If even a part of you thinks that Elliot is your soulmate, you should ask him to stay!"

Sonny bit his lip in concentration. He dozed off, tuning out Jake and Amanda out as Amanda begged him to work as a private investigator at his company. Several days passed, until Sonny made his decision. He was at a restaurant with Elliot when he said, "You should go," he said softly.

Elliot smiled at him. "Do you want to go long distance?" he asked.

Sonny grinned. "Oh my god yes. It's gonna work, we're gonna make this work," he insisted, pulling Elliot into a kiss.

YEAR 2036

"Kids. It failed miserably. Long distance is a terrible, terrible idea. But more on that later," Sonny said. "Long distance relationships are a terrible idea. I was in one for a month with Elliot, and he had sent me three care packages. This put me behind by three. Anyways, your Uncle Jake had left the force and went to work as a private investigator for hire. He hated the idea of not being able to put the bad guys behind bars, but he and Aunt Amy were in a load of debt. He went to work for your Aunt Amanda. Now, at this point in our friendship, all of us had no idea what your Aunt Amanda did for a living. Every time we asked, she would always just say 'please.' But anyways, your Uncle Jake had reluctantly gone into the private sector. And he hated it. Anyways, this long distance relationship was kicking me in the ass. Normally I was so good at being a boyfriend, but never seeing Elliot was killing me. I was a bad person, back in the day kids, and I have a lot of regrets and hurt a lot of people," Sonny stared off distantly.

Michael nodded sympathetically. "Dad. What happened?" he asked, genuinely curious.

"You know how grandma said nothing good happens after 2 AM?" Sonny asked, and all his kids nodded in unison.

"Anyways, let's fast forward to a particular night. Elliot had neglected to call me and...Your Aunt Amy let it slip that Aunt Rosa still had feelings for me. Aunt Rosa had called me over, she was fairly upset. And I, may have lied to her and told her I broke up with Elliot," Sonny said sheepishly.

YEAR 2012

"Sonny. You can't do this. As of right now, you still have a boyfriend. It's 2:30 AM. Go home," Amy said insistently.

"Why should I have to go home? You know, there's every chance Rosa's the woman I'm going to marry," Sonny said insistently.

"Sonny," Amy said. "Don't do this. Go home."

"I will go home. I will go home and break up with Elliot, tomorrow," Sonny said.

"Go home," Amy insisted.

"It could happen. And so really, what's it gonna matter in 50 years if I jump the gun by one night? Look, I-I know this is a moral gray area, but... It's Rosa. And I'm exhausted. I am. I'm exhausted from pretending I'm not in love with her. I think that makes this okay," Sonny proclaimed, getting out of the cab and shutting the door with a bit of force.

"You just want to get laid," Amy corrected forcefully.

"Yes, I do. You got me. That is exactly what I want right now. And so what? I want this. She wants this. It's happening, and if you have a problem with it, so what?" Sonny whispered as Rosa opened the door to her apartment.

Rosa stood in her apartment, locking eyes with Sonny. "Your uh, boyfriend just called. He uh wanted to know if anything happened to you, since you weren't answering your phone and it was so late in the evening. Good evening, Sonny," she said, closing the door.

Sonny kicked the doormat.

YEAR 2036

"I called Elliot from the cab and we broke up. Yes... And there you have it, kids. The stupidest thing I've ever done. In one night, I managed to hurt two people I cared about. And none of it would've happened if I just listened to my mom. So I guess if there's a lesson to be learned here, it's this: when it's 2:00 a.m., just go to sleep," Sonny said mournfully.

"Oh daddy," Lily sighed wistfully.

Sonny pinched the bridge of his nose. "Kids, I did a lot of stupid, brazen stuff when I was younger. But that is one of my biggest regrets. I never meant to hurt Elliot, or Rosa, but that's all I did."

Kyle looked at his father thoughtfully. "But wasn't I born at 3:10 AM?" he asked.

Sonny managed to smile weakly. "Kyle, your grandma was definitely right about nothing good happening after 2AM, but there's always an exception to the rule. And that exception was you, Kyle."

"Anyways. It took a few months for your Aunt Rosa to forgive me for that, as it should have," Sonny continued. "Meanwhile, your Aunt Amy and Uncle Jake were scrambling to plan the rest of their wedding in 9 weeks. The crux of the situation was reached when Aunt Amy and Aunt Rosa snuck into a high school prom to preview a wedding band. Anyways. It was May of 2006 in New York City and life was good. But everything was about to change. Around this time, your Aunt Amy had saddled me with a horrible secret. She had auditions for an exclusive theatre fellowship, which would be held over the summer months, Coincidentally, Aunt Amy and Uncle Jake's wedding would be that summer as well."

YEAR 2012

"So what do you think?" Amy said breathlessly."The auditions were in New Haven and the theatre program is three months."

Sonny sat in the booth, shocked. "Amy. No. You can't do that," he said sternly. "You're getting married in less than two months!"

"Sonny. I gave up my theatre career. I settled and I haven't been dating since college. I know it's a mistake but I need to make this mistake!" Amy said, looking at Sonny desperately. "You cannot tell Jake about this," she said.

Sonny hissed. "Amy Mariposa Santiago. You are not seriously thinking about this."

Amy wrung her hands. "Sonny, I don't even know who I am anymore. I met Jake my first week of college and I haven't done any of the things I wanted to."

Sonny opened and closed his mouth wordlessly. "Where is the program?"

"It's uh. It's in London," Amy said sheepishly.

Sonny glared at her. "This is a huge mistake, Amy," he said.

"Okay, yes, it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake. But there are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it's a mistake is to make the mistake, and look back, and say, "Yep. That was a mistake." So, really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake, because then you go your whole life not really knowing if something is a mistake or not. And, damn it, I've made no mistakes! I've done all of this- my life, my relationship, my career- mistake-free. Does any of this make sense to you?" Amy hissed under her breath.

This was one of the rare times Sonny was rendered speechless. Amy sighed deeply before continuing. "Sonny, I'm getting married in two months, and I'm freaking out, and you're my best friend, and you just have to forgive me for this. Also lay low, Jake and Amanda are headed here."

Sonny straightened his poise, wracking his brain for a solution to Amy's problem as Amanda and Jake made their way to the booth. Amanda rolled her eyes. "Sonny. I know you're thinking about Rosa again," she accused. "The universe does not want you and Rosa together. Don't piss it off, it'll slap you."

Sonny snorted, eyeing Amy suspiciously. "Don't you think the universe has bigger things to worry about?"

Jake paused, a serious look crossing over his face. "Unless your dating life is the glue holding the universe together," he whispered.

"Look, I realize we've been down this road before, but the fact is, whatever I do, it all keeps coming back to Rosa. I have to do this," Sonny insisted.

Amanda reached across the booth and slapped Sonny. "Universe," she commented casually with a shrug.

Jake sighed. "She's right man. How many times does this have to fail before you get the message?"

Sonny grinned. "One more time. One more ridiculously large romantic gesture and then, whatever her answer is, I'll stick with it. If she says yes, then great! If she says no then I'm done chasing Rosa forever."

Amy smiled. "What's this big romantic gesture then?" she asked intrigued.

"I'm gonna make her a mix tape," Sonny said proudly.

Amy cocked her eyebrow. "I'm kidding," Sonny said. "Remember our first date? I stole her a blue french horn and it almost worked?"

Jake smiled reverently. "That was the bomb dude, but how are you ever gonna top that?"

Sonny merely smiled. "Amy, I'm going to need your spare key to Rosa's apartment."

That night, at dinner, Rosa could tell something was wrong with Amy, and cornered her in the bathroom. "What the hell is going on?" Rosa demanded.

Amy's face scrunched up and she began crying. "I can't even recognize myself anymore. Back in college, I didn't want to be tied down. I wanted to live in France and Spain and Italy and just soak up life and put it on stage, even if it means being a waitress in crappy cafés for five years, I didn't care. I was going to be an actress. But then I met Jake. And I couldn't do any of that with a, with a boyfriend shackled around my neck but Jake and I just clicked and now nine years have gone by and I haven't done any of it. I didn't have any of the experiences I set out to. The travel, the bohemian art life, my big lesbian experience. I didn't do any of it," Amy wailed, collapsing into Rosa's arms.

Rosa held her friend. "Amy. You're marrying your best friend in less than two months. That's like, all those experiences combined, right?"

Amy hiccuped, wiping at her face. "I guess so, yeah,"she whispered.

Rosa held Amy at arm's length, rubbing her shoulders gently. "You can still travel, you know," she commented casually. "And as for your lesbian experience," Rosa leaned in, kissing Amy softly, who erupted into giggles. "Is that ok?"

Amy smiled and nodded. And that seemed to be the end of Amy's huge freak out. Later that week, Jake and Amy were relaxing in the apartment. Sonny had disappeared, planning his big romantic gesture. Jake was cooking dinner and Amy was thumbing through a novel. Amy's phone began ringing. "Hey, Ames, I locked myself out of my apartment. Can you bring me my spare key?" Rosa said.

Amy winced. "Uh, I have one of those?" she asked, voice high.

"Uh yeah, I gave it to you a while ago," Rosa said, confused.

"Well uh, have you tried knocking?" Amy asked, as their home phone rang. She immediately sent the call to voicemail.

"Hello, Amy, this is Janet Kagan from London Summer Theatre Program through Sarah Lawrence College. I'm pleased to inform you that we've accepted your application for our summer fellowship. We look forward to hearing from you. Bye-bye," a cheery voice rang from the answering machine. Amy winced.

"Rosa, I have to go, just knock ok?" Amy said hurriedly, hanging up her cellphone.

Jake was standing in the doorway leading from the kitchen to the living room. His eyebrows were raised and he was clutching a spatula as if it were a weapon. Amy smiled meekly. "Pause?"

Jake nodded slowly before walking back into the kitchen.

YEAR 2036

"Oh I can't believe Aunt Amy did that!" Kyle exclaimed.

"What was your big romantic gesture for Aunt Rosa?" Lily inquired.

Sonny smiled sheepishly. "I hired a four piece orchestra to play blue instruments in her living room."

"That's kind of creepy dad," Michael said with disdain.

Sonny shrugged. "It was a long winding road that led me to your father, and I had to become a certain person to get there."

"Well what happened? I mean, with Aunt Rosa. And also what happened between Aunt Amy and Uncle Jake? What was 'pause' supposed to mean?"

"Well. Jake and Amy had a rule that whenever they fought, they could pause and take a break at any time. Their fights went on for days," Sonny explained. "Anyways."

YEAR 2012

Jake and Amy were eating dinner silently that night. Amy had been picking at her food and Jake had been practically shaking in rage. "Unpause?" he said through gritted teeth.

Amy nodded hesitantly. Jake sighed before turning on her. "A theatre fellowship?"

"I was never going to take it," Amy insisted.

"In London?" Jake pressed.

"I was never going to take it!"

Meanwhile. Amanda was at the bar drinking with Sonny. "I'm sorry it didn't work out," she said sympathetically.

Sonny practically snorted in his drink. "Who says he hasn't? She just said she needed to think about things."

"Right, but she's going on that big Metro News One camping trip for the weekend," Amanda pointed out.

Sonny smacked his forehead. "Oh geez, I forgot about that. And let me guess, Adrian Pimento is going too?"

Adrian Pimento was the cohost of Rosa's morning show on Metro News One. He was odd, and extremely forward. He had spent the past two months making casual, slightly creepy sexual comments about Rosa. And as she told the rest of the group, she doesn't go out with people she works with.

Sonny's nose wrinkled in disgust. "I can't believe she's giving him a chance. Sure, he's leaving Metro News One, but just because he recommended her to be lead anchor doesn't make him any less of a creep," he grumbled.

"Dude. Barring some act of god, Rosa is going on that camping trip with Pimento," Amanda said, exasperated.

"I'm gonna make it rain," Sonny said, as if it were a revelation. "I'm gonna do a rain dance."

Amanda grimaced. "Dude, that plan is flawed and extreme culturally appropriation."

Sonny waved her off. "No, not like that. Well. Kind of like that. But not to Native American gods. Just...kinda gonna see if the thought can get me there."

Amanda shook her head. "That's still morally skeptical."

Sonny turned to her, indignantly. "This is coming from the girl who deceives god knows how many women into sleeping with her."

Amanda nodded curtly. "Alright, you got me there," she conceded.

"You forbid me from going?" Amy exclaimed.

The fight had moved back to the apartment, and Amy was toe to toe with Jake in the living room, fire blazing in her eyes. Jake scoffed, holding his hands up defensively. "Forbid? Who said forbid? I was just reminding you that there's this wedding coming up in a couple of months, and I was kind of hoping you'd save the day. Look for me... I'll be the guy in the awesome suit. Come on, Amy, it's what you've always wanted!"

"Yeah, but there's a lot of things I've always wanted, and I haven't done any of them. I'm sorry. I just need to do this before settling down forever."

Jake stepped back, crossing his arms. "So now we've gone from "I was never gonna do it" to "I need to do this"? Did I leave the room at some point? When did that happen?" He asked angrily.

"When you said you wouldn't let me do it," Amy spat back.

"I never said that! You know, if you're having these kind of doubts now, what's gonna change in three months? Maybe we just shouldn't get married at all," Jake shouted.

Amy charged at him. "Maybe not," she yelled.

They both stopped in their tracks, staring at each other. "Pause," Jake said.

Amanda was leaning against a chimney stack watching Sonny bounce around on the roof of the apartment building. "This is super funny. Still funny. Less funny. Kind of easing into the sad territory now," she said dully.

Sonny grunted in response, darting around the roof bouncing and swaying. "I'm not giving up until it rains. We've been up here for hours making an ass out of ourselves and it has to count for something," he said breathlessly.

Amanda snorted. "What do you mean 'we,' white man?"

"How did we get here?" Jake said hollowly. "My biggest problem a few days ago was whether I was wearing matching socks or not."

Amy sighed, gripping his hand tightly before turning to him. "Unpause."

Jake nodded slightly. "Unpause."

Amy ran her fingers through her dark hair, sighing. "Look... I know this sucks. It's just something I'm going through. I'm not asking you to understand it. I'm not asking you to be happy about it. I'm just asking you to support it," she reached out for Jake.

Jake stepped away, looking absolutely heartbroken. "I want to, Ames, but I can't."

"Why not?" she exclaimed.

"Because you're scaring the hell out of me, that's why not. What if you decide to go be an actress and then you realize I don't fit in to your life anymore, and three months becomes forever? Can you promise me that that's not gonna happen?" Jake yelled, turning on her.

Amy bit her lip, eyes brimming with tears. She crossed her arms, looking empty, vulnerable. "Jake."

"'Cause if you can't promise me that, we should just break up right now. I'm not gonna wait around for three months just to have my heart ripped out," Jake said viciously, voice breaking. "So that's it? We're breaking up?"

"Jake, I'm sorry. I just... I just need to go to London and do this theatre program and figure out who I am outside of us. And the only way that I can do that is if we don't talk for a while."

Jake could feel the tears stinging his eyes and the unmistakable lump in his throat. He swallowed it. "For a while? Try never, OK? You walk out that door and we're done. You're never gonna hear my voice again," he said.

"Jake, I love you," Amy cried.

"Can you promise me that won't change?" Jake demanded.

"Pause," Amy said, stepping closer to him.

"No. Amy. No more pause we have to get through this."

"Pause," Amy said insistently.

"Why?" Jake shouted at her. "Why do you want me to pause?"

Amy sprung forward, climbing Jake frantically, wrapping her legs around his torso. "I really appreciate this use of the pause function baby," Jake said breathlessly before carrying her into their room.

Back on the roof, Amanda held her head in her hands and winced as she listened to Sonny huff and wheeze, still haphazardly dancing on the roof. "These are your awesome years. You're wasting them on this girl. This isn't gonna work!" Amanda whined.

"I know that," Sonny retorted acerbically.

"Then why?" Amanda shouted, standing, confronting Sonny.

"Because I love her. I love her! I told her that the first night we went out, and here it is, eight months later, and nothing's changed. So yes, I know this isn't gonna work. But it has to work! You hear me, universe? This is Dominick Andrew Carisi talking! Give me some rain! Come on! Come on! Come on...!" Sonny yelled at the sky.

Rain began trickling down, gently at first before gaining momentum. "Oh come on," Amanda complained, hurrying down the fire escape into the apartment.

Sonny scrambled down the fire escape, tearing through the apartment. He threw himself into a cab and was vibrating with excitement. The cab barely came to a stop and Sonny practically fell out of it. He threw himself onto Rosa's porch and began yelling, calling out her name. She opened her window and found him, drenched and smiling like an idiot. "Sonny," she called out.

He tilted his head upwards and started jumping. "I made it rain!" he yelled, practically manic.

Rosa smiled at him, confused. "You what?" she called back. "I'll come down there."

She grabbed her jacket, opening her door. Sonny stood there, dripping onto her doormat. "I was gonna," she started.

"I know," he said breathlessly, pulling her into a deep kiss.

The next morning, Sonny rode back in a cab, staring out the window with a dazed expression. the city looked the same, the people looked the same. It all looked the same. But it wasn't. In just one night, everything had changed. The cab pulled up at their apartment, rain still beating down consistently. He walked up to the doorstep, a goofy grin lingering on his lips. He stopped himself when he saw Jake, sitting there, eyes empty and red. Jake didn't say a word, but merely held up a ring. Sonny collapsed onto the stoop, putting his arm around his friend.

A/N: I'm really self conscious about if it's too close to the HIMYM structure but I also really wanna keep the structure similar. I was going to do each season as a chapter.