I watched my family around the living room in Tanya's house. Even for the creatures we were, living was the last thing any of us were doing. I looked at Esme staring at blue prints but her heart wasn't into it. She was only trying to act like herself for Carlisle's sake. Carlisle wasn't any better, as he sat staring off into space a book in resting on his knee. I looked out the window and saw Emmett casually tossing a baseball up staring out into the woods and the snow. Rosalie was with him, trying to convince him to go hunt with her. The only thing effecting her was the fact that everyone else was miserable because he was miserable. Jasper sat next to me and I felt bad for him he felt all the emotions I was just witnessing. I also felt like he was blaming himself somewhat for the domino effect that had set these events in motion.
I just sat there and witnessed it.
They all hoped that soon a vision would come, Edward deciding to come back. Edward deciding that he needed his family or that he couldn't be without Bella anymore. Any sign that Edward was active, but he wasn't. Every little flicker of my visions I'd get Esme's eyes looking at me intensely hoping just for me to tell her no, he hasn't budged. Literally, he just sat in an attic somewhere South for the past month or so. Maybe it had been longer, it was a miserable existence not matter how you saw it.
If he would just let himself waver, if he would just accept the fact that he needed Bella then he'd be happy again. Why did he have to be so stubborn??
Suddenly Bella's face was filling up my mind, only it couldn't have been Bella. She looked so sad, so broken, and frail. Her long brown hair was tousled around her face and blowing in the wind and rain. She was outside and up high. I didn't recognize where she was but it was familiar looking. Her face was so pale there was no sign of life in her features. No slight blush in her cheeks. She was thin, Bella was so thin. Her clothing hung on her body awkwardly, like it had once fit but now was out of proportion. Bella also had the darkest circles under her eyes. Not the type that would go away with a good sleep, they were a mark of something in her life. A loss of something. Which brought me to her eyes, Bella's eyes, once curious with life and questions. They were dark and they seemed dead inside. Her eyes held no semblance of the Bella I knew the Bella I loved. But I knew Bella anywhere and there she was.
I gasped out at the sight of her.
I was aware of my family staring at me, Jasper grabbed my hand.
"Alice," he asked his voice was worried, I wondered if what I was seeing was apparent on my face, "what do you see Alice? What is it?"
Suddenly Carlisle and Esme were closer to me with Rosalie and Emmett behind me eager to know but also worried.
I continued to see Bella, why was she so high up? She took a step and I saw it, she was up on a high cliff. I could see the ocean, there was a harsh storm. The clouds were dark and the waves crashed violently against each other. She was staring into the clouds her feet guiding her to the edge when she smiled. This wasn't a happy smile Bella was smiling at a thought in her head. I saw the corners of her mouth twist darkly and I saw her eyes flicker with the same emotion. This was reckless and dangerous. She knew it and she was ok with it. This was unlike Bella, why was she on that cliff?
She closed her eyes and continued to smile to herself. It was like she was enjoying some twisted joke with herself. She rolled onto the balls of her feet on the edge of a cliff. Bella, alone, reckless, on a cliff.
"No Bella," I yelled at my own mind. My own vision. I could see her so clearly for the first time in months and I could do nothing to stop her.
"Alice, what is Bella doing?" I heard Carlisle voice, laced with worry, but couldn't manage to answer him. The vision wasn't over yet.
I knew what was coming I was hoping she wasn't going to be this foolish. She was smiling still and raising her arms out, she was going to dive off this cliff. I saw Bella lift her tragically beautiful face to the rain letting it cover her. I saw her. She leaned forward and then she jumped.
I let out a shaky ragged breath in the form of a gasp. Bella jumped off a cliff.
She was falling and screaming down into the water, I could see it. I saw her hit the water hard. Then she was fighting the current, she was alone and fighting the ocean.
I saw the black water tumble over her and I saw her fighting and swimming in all directions. Then she wasn't fighting anymore she seemed content with letting the water entrap her. She was flung hard against a rock but still she didn't fight. Bella was under the black water now and then gone.
"'No, no Bella fight," I said, feeling Jasper grip me tightly.
I closed my eyes searching for Bella. Searching for her to come up out of the water but I couldn't see her. There was like a block right after her going into the black water. She was gone.
I opened my eyes and saw my family staring at me.
"Alice, what was it? Bella?," Esme's voice was shaky.
"Alice?," I looked over at Jasper, his face was nothing but concern for what I had seen. He knew it had to be bad. He could feel what I was feeling. I was mourning. I had just lost a friend. I had just lost someone I one day hoped would be my sister. And it hit me, when Edward found out I'd lose him too. We all would.
"I--I saw Bella," I said to no one. They would take this hard. All of them, except Rosalie but I couldn't focus on her now. "She was so sad looking, she looked so frail, even for a human. Sh-sh-she was on a cliff--" I was seeing it in my head again. I dared to look up again. Carlisle, Esme, and Emmett were in front of me, Jasper to the side, and Rose was behind me. She did seem somewhat concerned but that was it.
"What happened Alice?" it was Emmett this time. All his good humor gone from his voice, he seemed to know what was coming next. He needed to hear it. He had loved her too.
"She was on a cliff and--and she jumped" saying the words aloud hurt and I had to say the last part, they had to know. "She hit the water and then--and now-- I can't see her anymore." That part all but ripped my heart out. She was gone.
"Oh no, no, not Bella." Esme let out a broken tearless sob. Carlisle wrapped his arms around her. "Edward will be so--oh no--Edward."
Jaspers eyes never left my face, but his question was directed at Carlisle.
"How do we tell him?"
Emmett looked over at Rosalie, Carlisle eyes on Esme, Jasper looking at me. All three of them were considering the exact same scenario in their own minds.
"I don't know how we tell him this Emmett. It'll kill him." Carlisle said.
"We should be honest with him," it was the first time I'd heard Rosalie speak. "He has the right to know. We should just tell him so he can stop being so miserable and come home."
I just glared at her.
"No," Carlisle said, "we'll tell him yes, but we'll wait until he comes home. He deserves this news in person rather than over the phone. No one is to tell him. We don't want him doing anything, rash," I was thinking the same thing. I remembered a minor flash I had seen of him a year ago in Phoenix. If Bella had died then, he had been planning on following. He was planning on dying. I knew that when Edward found out -- I pushed the thought from my mind. It was too hard to consider.
"Has he changed his course yet Alice?" Carlisle asked, pain lacing his voice breaking through my own thoughts.
"No, he hasn't moved from where he is. He's still somewhere in South America." I saw Edward in my head. He was just as broken as Bella. He had been in the same spot so many times I had looked for him.
"Charlie.." was my next thought, I didn't mean to say it out loud. I thought of Charlie all alone and Bella gone. "He'll need help" I stood up. I was determined to help him through this
"Alice, you can't go. It's too late anyways," Jasper stood with me. "Edward told us to not interfere--" I cut him off.
"Not to interfere with Bella's life anymore. She's gone Jazz, she's dead. I told Edward that this would happen. I told him that it would eventually lead to Bella doing something so human. I predicted it without seeing it months ago. I never got to say good bye to her Jazz, never. I just had to leave her. We all did--" I looked around at my family, none of them had gotten to see Bella again since her birthday-- "and now we'll never get a chance. I'm going to help Charlie in Forks Jasper. It's the least that any of us can do. We left his daughter hurt and alone. Now she's gone. I'm going."
"Alright Alice," was all he said. He didn't think I should go but he knew that he would lose that fight.
"Thank you Jazz," I turned to Carlisle, "I shouldn't be gone long, just long enough to help Charlie out. Make this as easy on him as possible."
"I'll call the airlines and get you on the next flight out," he was gone now Esme got up and followed him out.
Emmett got up angrily next and walked furiously to the door, "She was supposed to be our sister Alice, she was supposed to be one us and with Edward forever."
"I know Emmett, but I'm not infallible. I'm anything but that," I looked down thinking over Emmett's words. She was supposed to be and now that was a future that could never be.
Emmett darted out the door and into the woods. I saw him, he was going to uproot a few hundred year old trees and take some of his aggression out on some grizzlies.
"Jazz? Would you mind going with him?" I asked him "he may need someone to help keep him calm."
"No, I'll go with him," he came to me first and hugged me tightly. I kissed his cheek then his lips.
"I'll be home soon, I promise. I just have to do this. I have to do something."
"I know, it's ok. I'll see you when you get back. I love you."
"I love you too."
And then he was off chasing after Emmett into the woods.
Then it was just me and Rosalie, I couldn't see what she was going to do next. She wasn't sure in her decision. She was thinking of telling Edward.
"Don't Rose," I said.
"It's a natural thought to be thinking about Alice," was all she said before adding, "Don't you have a plane to catch?"
She was right.
I left. Off to say good bye to my best friend. I had one thought and I wished he was around to hear it.
Edward, you idiot.