Bittersweet - A Final Fantasy VII Fic

Chapter One - One Night

I have been watching her for some time now. Watching her as I often do watch people in their everyday life and everyday situations, but knowing that one day it would become apparent that our fates would cross one day or another. It always seems to be the same with her. When she is in the group, then she is strong, confident, a valuable ally and a fierce fighter, but alone I see her true face. She is weak at heart and does not know what path it is she wishes to walk.

I turn away.

It is of no matter to me what she is feeling. Right now the air is cool and the moon is high and the feeling of nostalgia as I sit atop the water tower in the centre of Nibelheim becomes strong this evening. I am restless. My mind wanders. I dream a waking dream of Lucretia...dear sweet Lucretia....and then...

"Cloud..."

My head turns in the direction of the voice. A soft, unsure, unsteady voice that cannot seem to form the words I can hear crying from the soul behind the frightened gasp. There she is. Tears pouring from her eyes, such beautiful eyes, how they reflect the - no. I shake my head. She could never be another Lucretia. I would not allow it.

Then he is there. Distant as always, barely aware of the attentions of the female behind him. As useless a leader as he is a SOLDIER. Distant and always following that same dream. Cannot seem to awaken from this ridiculous facade he has going on for himself. Still chasing after the one idea that he still needs forgiveness. Forgiveness for the loss of...no...it does not do to dwell in the past. I do so of my own sins. This boy does this from sins that do not exist. I believe there is a difference in that.

Neither has seen me yet, and for this I am thankful. It would not do to meddle in their affairs and yet...for some reason I cannot block out their voices...

"Tifa...I know it's hard on all of us...but...I feel her there...I know I can't stop looking for...for..." He trails off. I know the boy has no idea what he is looking for, and I wonder when he will realise the absurdity of this dream of his, but he continues nonetheless, "....for her. I need to be forgiven."

When Tifa answers him, she is desperate, and my heart aches more so to see her - a fellow team-mate - in such a state, "Cloud please! You can't keep this up! Stop chasing the memories of the past! We're your present! Don't you see what this is doing to us....to me??"

The woman has a point. When are you going to see your stupidity for what it is?

Right now, the boy looks weaker than he has ever done, "I'm sorry....I just...I just need more time...I just need more....you wouldn't understand!!"

"What wouldn't I understand?? How can I understand what you don't even begin to tell me???" She rounds on him again and this time it angers him. I can see the twitch in his hand long before he knows he is going to do it himself. One movement of thumb and finger that shows the full extent of his agitation, and I decide that it will not do for our 'fearless leader' to lash out at a woman, and so I interfere by raising my voice up loud.

"The night would be so peaceful were it not for the screams of the soul."

Both are scared and confused and then Cloud notices my dark form silhouetted in the pale moonlight. The relief on his face is clear only to me, and the offending hand has ceased to twitch. He folds his arms, trying to play the cocky and cool-headed hero, but there is hesitance in his eyes at the thought that I may have overheard what I should not, "Oh Vincent....it's just you."

I do not reply and instead allow my gaze to switch from Cloud to Tifa, and then back and forth again. Both shift under my stare and Cloud lets out a low laugh as if to reassure himself of something. Tifa looks to the side; unable to hold my eyes. She wipes away tears idly with the back of one hand. Cloud steps forwards, arms out, attempting a shrug that seems more comical than nonchalant. "You know you shouldn't sneak up on people like that. You already come across as a creepy vampire type. Someone might think you are stalking us to suck our blood!"

At that I growl. The insult bites deep, so to speak, and even I cannot remain silent at such an accusation, "I have every right to sit under the moonlight as you have the right to shout and argue in the street with your companions. I may be some things, a little strange maybe to be more at peace at the night time, but I can assure you, I am not a vampire and I have no intention of sucking anyone's blood tonight or ever for that matter. Do not insult me so!"

The blonde blanches and takes a nervous step back before waving one hand in pretence of nonchalance and beginning to walk away; back to the inn, "Whatever you say, Vincent. Sorry to have bothered you."

There is silence as he leaves and it is only when the night stills again do I notice that Tifa is still out here with me. Her head is hung low, one hand rubbing up the upper arm on the opposite side in nervousness. I take my eyes from her. She has suffered enough humiliation tonight without having to suffer me watching her like a hawk like I often do with the group. I decide to leave her be.

It is then that she speaks, and when she does, there is hesitance in her voice, "So...you heard everything, huh?"

I shift my attention back to her. She is staring at me with those wide defiant eyes; tinted with sadness yet still strong at confronting me. To offend her was not my intention. Even I am forced to look away from her angered stare this time, "Forgive me. I do not remember saying that I did hear anything, but yes. I am sorry. I did not mean to. Perhaps I should have announced my presence sooner or - "

"No."

I stop in mid-sentence. She is shaking her head and sighing greatly when I manage to find the courage to look up at her again.

"No." She repeats again, softer this time, as if unable to believe her own outburst, "I should be sorry, Vincent. I didn't...I didn't mean for anyone to see that. Especially not you..."

Now what can that mean? It bemuses me, but I nod as if I understand and turn back to the moonlight, and vocalise my opinion in a careful manner, "Perhaps you should talk about it with someone."

A soft laugh, "No...who would want to sit around and listen to me talk about my romance problems? I'm not the sort to push my burdens on other people."

"Who said anything about burdening anyone? All I suggested was hiring yourself a good listener..." I trail off this time. It sounds too much like I am suggesting that I am her listener and she knows it. I can tell by the way she is looking at me now. Her eyes so wide and then so kind and somehow sad again. A soft smile graces her lips.

"...Someone like you?" That was what I had feared.

I shake my head and let out a soft noise of protest, "Tifa...I...I was not suggesting that...but I am a good listener. It is not my business at all to attend to the concerns of other people, but I am always there to listen to other's problems. It is my duty as a friend, Tifa..."

The smile is still there as she approaches the well and within a fantastic leap and bound she is beside me up on the walkway of the tower; seating herself before I had even seen her move. Even I, with my genetically enhanced speed and strength, must admit to myself that this woman is strong and skilled. I would be a fool to underestimate her, and an even bigger fool to anger her or raise a hand to her. Now I am glad I stopped Cloud's hand from even raising...not for Tifa's safety though...

The night is still again. Perhaps it is Tifa's interest to sit with me, sit by me, just enjoy another's company. Someone less...volatile? Is that the right word? Not that it matters. All that matters in this moment is the stillness of the night and the company of another to enjoy the moon's grace with. We both sit side by side in total silence and simply enjoy each other's company. It is sometimes nice to share the things that calm the mind with another. I am reminded of sitting alone with Lucretia, saying not one word, but enjoying her company nonetheless.

I sigh into the night and I feel Tifa shift next to me. Although I am not looking at her I can feel her eyes upon me and that causes an uncomfortable prickling in the back of my neck. One of my hands reaches up to rub the offending area lightly; almost making me look sheepish I imagine. My companion sighs also and her legs swing over the thin wooden ledge as she leans back upon her hands and stares straight up at the moon. The silence is broken when she begins to speak.

"You know...it was here that Cloud made his promise to me...all those years ago..."

Ah. Nostalgic for her as well as me I see, and about Cloud...no surprise.

"...We were so young back then. I hardly even knew him. It's funny how things turned out. How close we were when Avalanche was formed and how close we all were as a team. He promised that if I was ever in a pinch, he'd come and rescue me...a silly dream I guess. Maybe all girls dream of a white knight to come and whisk them away to freedom. Kinda like those plays they always put on at the Gold Saucer, you know?"

I do not know of these plays, but I see no reason to interrupt her. It is probably in her best interest to get all this off her chest without fear of opinion or judgement. She seems happy to continue.

"I liked Aries you know? I really liked her. I still feel her here, even now, watching over all of us. I'm surprised we all stuck together after the...you know...the meteor fall...we're all good friends now and I...I can still feel her there. Laughing and suffering with the rest of us. I think she's watching over Cloud. Watching over him and trying so desperately to tell him not to beat himself up about all this...but he won't listen. He doesn't even see the hints that she places in front of his face. I feel so distant from him these days...I feel...I know...he's not the same Cloud any more is he?"

My eyes look up to the swinging sign of the Nibelheim Inn. Cloud's blue eyes stare into my own as my gaze shifts to the upper right window of the second floor and for a few moments we are locked there. Locked in a silent battle of gazes. He cannot hear Tifa's words, or read her thoughts, or even understand what she is saying, but he knows that tonight, he has offended her and fears that I perhaps will attempt to overthrow him for Tifa's sake. Not that I ever would, but Cloud has been a little...paranoid as of late. He once even accused Barrett of trying to take the leader position - can you imagine that? When I refuse to look away from his azure vision I see him draw away from the window and the lights go out in the Inn completely.

Tifa's sigh snaps me out of my daze.

"There he goes again." She is looking at the window also, "I think...I think he understands what we say to him, but...I think the memory of Aries lies heavy on his heart. He won't get over it. He can't. His heart won't let him."

"Some of us live with our sins and try to use them to punish ourselves." I am aware that my mouth is moving and that there is sound coming out, but I am not even thinking any more...just talking, "Maybe he feels he has to be punished for her death. He will not rest until he is sure that he is punished enough. That day will come, I am sure of it."

My words cause the air to fall silent again, and although I worry about offending Tifa, I know that the silence is merely caused by her running these thoughts over and over inside her head. Finally she lets out a soft laugh and then nods, as if in agreement with me. Suddenly it feels like a great weight has been lifted from her, like a divine revelation of sorts, and when she smiles at me this time, I can see the happiness reflected in her eyes.

"Thank you."

A single tear flows from her cheek and she brushes it away with one finger, laughing gently.

"Thank you, Vincent. I...I needed to hear that...you have no idea..."

More tears flow and this time I allow them to. Tears of joy are not meant for being kept in for so long. To let them flow now would be merciful. AT least she is not crying from despair or sorrow as she has done so on many occasions when the night is cold and the moon is high and I have watched her do so and felt helpless to stop her. The night is young yet. She has many tears to cry.

Finally she stops, a few choking sobs signalling the end of her suffering, and then she laughs and the sound is music to my ears. Even I cannot help the smile that forms from beneath my cloak. I am thankful she cannot see it.

"Vincent…" She says my name as she wipes away the last of her tears and then composes herself gently, taking a deep breath and laughing once more, "…You were right. It does help to talk. I…I just didn't expect you to be the one I would talk to. Funny how things turn out isn't it?"

"Hn…funny."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

She does not have to say anything any more and I, myself, do not have anything to add to that. For the rest of the evening we both just sit back…and stare at the stars…and I know in my mind that this is one night that will have changed our perceptions of each other forever…